18. Alexis
Alexis
If you were to ask what had come over me between the time I woke up this morning and now, I wouldn’t have an answer—at least not a good one.
All I knew was that seeing Derek knock the shit out of Eli for simply kissing me, thinking that we had been fucking all this time, was beyond words. It took my breath away, literally.
I would never sleep with multiple men, whoring myself out. But the simple fact that Derek raged with jealousy over the idea of it made me giddy with excitement.
Derek was possessive, aggressive, and dominating. I’ve never wanted a man more, and pure molten desire burned between my thighs for him. I was on my knees, both figuratively and physically. Begging for a taste of his white-hot jealousy on my tongue.
Stating the fucking obvious here, I was a slut for him.
I should have cared that Derek had kicked Eli out of his apartment just so we could fuck, but I didn’t.
I needed him badly enough that I would have let him take me in the hallway or the back of his truck.
I didn’t need a bed to come on his cock.
As he stood at the edge of the bed, I couldn’t help from crawling over to him, pulling myself up onto my knees, and lapping up the pre-cum that leaked out from the tip. I looked up at Derek through my long lashes and silently begged him for more.
Without breaking eye contact, I pressed my lips to his head, kissing his cock before sliding it between my lips and moaning as it glided to the back of my throat.
Derek hissed a curse before his fingers tangled in the hair at the back of my head as he began to roughly fuck my mouth. He drove himself down to the base, and I gagged just before he pulled himself out, my saliva dripping down my chin and falling to the sheets.
Gasping for breath, I tugged on his shirt for another go, like a bitch begging for a bone, but instead, he gripped my wrists and pushed me down onto the mattress, my thighs pressing tightly together as the thought of his cock inside of me threatened to drive me over the edge.
I loved this side of him, the one that screamed shut the fuck up and take it .
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this needy for me, pretty viper,” Derek growled, licking his lips and ripping off my shorts and thong. I twisted his shirt tightly in my fists, pulling myself up until our noses barely touched .
“I’ll always be a slut for you, pretty boy. That’s one truth I won’t deny you. I’ve already accepted it as fact.” I huffed with sarcasm before devouring his mouth with mine.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have considered myself a ‘slut’ for anyone, but in the case of Derek—I knew what I was, and I wasn’t ashamed of it.
You could be a strong bad-ass bitch and still sink to your knees for the right person.
Does it make you weak to submit? No, if anything, it makes you powerful—control makes you powerful, and it turned me the fuck on when I had it with him.
I moaned into his mouth as he took me by surprise, sliding two fingers into my throbbing cunt, and started roughly fucking me with them. I dug my nails into his shoulders, rocking my hips against his hand to increase the friction.
“Goddamn, Lex, I love how wet you get for me—” He groaned, releasing my mouth and pulling his fingers out of me, sliding them between his lips and sucking them clean. “and how fucking magnificent you taste.”
“Eat me or fuck me, Derek, but I need one or the other right now.” I whimpered, unable to restrain myself from him any longer, writhing for his cock. I’ve never been this desperate for someone, but my body screamed for him to take it, use it, and make it come.
“Got any more filthy words for me?” He chuckled, gripping and spreading my thighs before dragging his tongue up my slit and sucking my clit into his mouth like a vacuum .
“ Fuck… you, fuck… yes .” I squeaked through my breathless moans, holding onto his hair with one hand as the other gripped the sheets, my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
His tongue and mouth continued to play with me as my breathing became erratic, my climax building to its peak.
Adjusting my legs over his shoulders, Derek returned his fingers, curling them inside of me as he sucked harder on my clit. I was ready to burst, my thighs tensing around his head as I attempted to hold it all in.
I looked down my body, his dark eyes meeting mine through his lashes, and the image alone of him between my legs was enough to throw me over the edge.
I cried out his name, my hands releasing their hold—wherever they were—to tangle in my hair and tug at the strands as I rode out my climax against his face. Fuck, I loved his fucking face.
“I love it when you fuck my face, pretty viper.” Derek laughed as he climbed his way up my body, my panting heavy and breaths labored. I must have spoken my thoughts out loud, my mind turning to jelly.
Leaning down, he caught my mouth with his and dipped his tongue between my lips. I could taste myself all over him, and it ignited a fire within me, knowing he was feeding me my pleasure with his mouth.
Gripping the back of his head, I deepened the kiss, wanting to taste even more of me mixed with the little of him that still lingered on my tongue.
He groaned into my mouth as his hips moved to rub his hard cock through my soaking cunt.
I shifted my hips, desperate for him to bury himself inside of me—if only I could get the right goddamn angle.
“Derek… please .” I let out a frustrated moan as his lips trailed down my jaw and neck. He was taking his time with me, teasing me, and even if it had me already eating out of the palm of his hand—his mouth— I needed more.
Pulling his hips back, I whimpered at the loss of him between my thighs before he slammed into me, my body sliding up the mattress with the force.
“ Fucking… hell. ” I gasped as his cock continued to pull out, almost to the tip, and then drove so hard into me that I began to see stars shooting across my vision.
“We’re not there yet, pretty viper. But I’ll drag you down soon enough.” Derek grunted with each thrust, and I pressed my lips together, attempting to control the words that wanted to fly out of them.
“ Oh god, please. ” I cried out.
His hands gripped my wrists, pinning them above my head, leaving me with nothing left but to squirm and writhe beneath his hot body. I could feel myself growing light-headed with the rapture he delivered to me.
“There’s no god in hell, sweetheart, only me.
” His thrusts were hard, precise, and punishing.
“What’s my name, Lex.” I gasped with no idea what name he was expecting me to use, whether it was one I had called him before or something else.
At this point, I’d call him whatever he wanted me to; I was at his mercy .
Switching his grip on my wrists to hold them with one hand, he freed up the other and moved it down to pinch and tease my clit, twisting it slightly, and the first word that came to mind left my lips on a scream.
“ Derek —”
“That’s my girl; now that we’ve established who I am, how about you come all over this bed and show Eli who the fuck you belong to.
” I had completely forgotten that we were fucking in Eli’s bed.
My mind was so drunk on Derek, his possessive behavior, and his dominance, not to mention his filthy fucking mouth.
He leaned his face down to mine, his lips grazing the side of my ear.
“You’re mine, pretty viper, and if I need to fuck you and paint these walls with your cum to get the point across, believe me, I will.
” A promise. “I’ll drag you to hell and back just to hear you scream my name over and over again.
The only name that should ever cross your perfect fucking lips.
” His twisted way of claiming me was all the encouragement I needed as my cunt tightened its hold around his cock, and my climax launched me so high I saw stars soar across my vision.
The intensity was so unreal that I could feel the slightest trail of tears falling down the sides of my face.
Not long after, as I started coming down into my body, Derek slammed into me with one last thrust, filling me with his release and falling to his elbows with a groan, his forehead pressed against mine .
Our heavy breaths mingled together, neither of us letting the other’s gaze go. My heart tightened and squeezed the longer we lay in silence, catching our breaths.
Derek stared deep into my eyes with an expecting look. I knew what he was waiting for, for me to say something he had been dying to hear for months.
But I still wasn’t ready and didn’t know if I would ever be.
Not a single word was spoken between us as I pulled my panties and shorts back on, and Derek shoved his dick back in his jeans. My mind was doing its usual uncontrollable thought spiral, dragging me deeper into a pit of negativity. Why did I continue to torture myself like this?
A hand came up to caress my cheek, and I looked up, meeting his warm brown eyes.
Why did he have to be the whole fucking package?
Why did he have to be so perfect? Derek was every desirable piece of the man I had imagined—created in the back of my mind.
A man that I didn’t know was possible to exist until now, and yet, there he fucking was.
He was calm, tender, and loving but also obsessive, assertive, and dangerous. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and I was the fox who fell for the bait. But could I allow myself to fall entirely for him? Did I deserve the dream that hid beneath my nightmares ?
This man wanted me; he stalked and obsessed over me for fucking months. Call me crazy, but if that doesn’t scream dedication and devotion, I don’t know what does. So then, why in the hell was it this hard for me to pull him into my heart and let him stay there?
“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” Derek’s voice was soft, questioning, as his thumb glided across my cheekbone.
This—this right here was what I always wanted. Someone to love me unconditionally, not caring how fucked up I was or could be. A man who wasn’t intimidated by my presence and would let me use him if I needed to.
I hesitated, swallowing word after word of what I wanted to say to him—changing my mind milliseconds before speaking. The lump in my throat was threatening to suffocate me.
“I’m… just processing everything that has happened today. That’s all.” I sighed, closing myself off, my words quiet and lacking emotion.
Pulling away from him, the bite of the cold air on my cheek from where his warm hand once was caused me to lose a breath. Heading to the door, I quickly turned the handle and pulled it open before Derek could press me further.
“Lex—”
“You know, I’m pretty sure the entire floor heard the two of you.” Dean and his smug fucking face. He stood across the hall, resting his back against the wall opposite the door with his arms crossed over his chest.
I looked up and down the empty hallway .
“Where is Eli?” I demanded, angry that the asshole had already left, and I doubted he would ever want to talk to him again with all that had just happened in under a few hours.
I confessed to Eli that I had killed Monika, only for him to kiss me instead of kill me; then he got punched in the face by Derek, threatened by him, and then Derek went ahead and kicked him and Dean out just to fuck me in his bed.
If that wasn’t a whirlwind of unfortunate and fucked up events for the day, I don’t know what was.
“He left for the CIA office. We’re meeting him there.” Dean nodded to Derek over my shoulder.
“And let me take a wild guess… by ‘we’ I am not included?” I scoffed, placing my hands on my hips and rolling my eyes.
“If it were up to me, I couldn’t care less, but after seeing what we just walked in on, I’m pretty confident Derek doesn’t want you within ten feet of Eli right now.” He shrugged, giving Derek a smirk.
I whipped around to face him, “I was here first; I need to—” he pressed a finger to my lips before I could finish what I was saying.
“We need him for an assignment, and if I see him near you again, even standing in the fucking same room as you, I’ll kill him.” Derek was blunt and to the point.
“But I—” I still needed my answers.
Now, what the hell was I supposed to do? Just wait for Adrian to come and get me? Why must all of the men in my life constantly find ways to piss me off and make things difficult ?
“Unless you know something that we don’t?” Derek questioned, expecting me to agree that I knew nothing about Eli, no dirty little secrets—nevermind the fact that I murdered his ex-girlfriend as a task in my initiation for Anathema.
I hadn’t the slightest idea as to why they were working with Eli in the first place, and I bet that if I were to ask, Derek would tell me that it was classified and leave it at that.
I had to assume they didn’t know about Monika or Eli’s knowledge of Anathema and that this assignment was completely unrelated.
Why did they need him? What was so important that the CIA needed some corrupt computer whiz to help them?
It had to have been dark web-related, at least…
I didn’t want to bring up Anathema right now, especially not with Derek.
Not until I was ready to handle the consequences and fallout that would come with it.
What would he even think if he knew I was working for them? It was the same thought I had regarding Madison and Adrian’s relationship.
Shaking my head, I backed away from the door and headed towards the stairs that led down to the main floor of the apartment building.
“Lex,” Derek called out as I approached the staircase. I stopped and turned my head to face him.
“What is it, Derek?” I sighed, exhausted, running a hand through my hair while placing the other on my hip.
“I’ll see you tonight.” He licked his lips before crossing his arms and dragging his thumb across the bottom one, and my heart fluttered in my chest. I hate that he affected me this way. I wish I could just let him go instead of clinging to the notion of keeping him.
Sucking in a breath, I nodded and proceeded down the stairs and out of the building to my car.
I could make this work, right?
Enemies with benefits, even though I knew his true feelings for me…
I was so incredibly fucked.
God-fucking-damnit.