Chapter 21
Summer
I gently chew my bottom lip as I pace Eric’s club room, the beam always in my visual causing guilt to fill me knowing how hurt he would be if he knew I was still thinking about attempting my life again. Even knowing about the baby which just makes me selfish.
Though considering it is one of my rapist’s, is it selfish or am I freeing us both from the pain?
I shake my head with my horrible thoughts. It isn’t the baby’s fault how it was conceived, just like it won’t be its fault as to why I have to give it up for adoption.
I can’t have a termination, not with knowing it has a heartbeat.
I’m now eleven weeks and it just feels wrong to go down that route so I’ve decided to put the baby up for adoption and hopefully Eric can help me sort it all out.
I just hope he isn’t disgusted that I’m deciding to go through with the pregnancy, though he did sleep with someone else so he can’t really say anything, albeit only for a few thrusts, expecting me to show up, he still stuck his dick inside someone else.
Then there’s the fact that I have spent months being raped continuously so I’m surprised he wants me or that is what he’s said repeatedly since he saved me, that he won’t let me go.
What he did while hurt, a lot, his memory alone kept me going, kept me fighting, but I’m used, I’m tainted.
I feel disgusting inside and out.
I eye the beam again as I frustratedly run a hand through my hair as the conversation yesterday with my lawyer Mr. Charms fills me, his admittance about the amount of times Amber had tried to get access to everything in my name, everything my dad left me, claiming I was in a mental hospital and threatened to take legal action if she wasn’t given access to everything.
“She tried more than a few times Summer and when a sleazy lawyer she hired told her your dad’s will was iron tight she punched him and destroyed the office we were all sitting in,” Mr. Charms says as he leans back in his chair, looking at me like I’m a scared lamb about to run away and yeah he’s right to look at me that way.
My skin is crawling and the fact that Stone is standing at my back is the only thing keeping me from bolting which says a lot about the trust the MC is building with me.
I hate being alive, I hate shaking when a male is around, I hate the memories I can’t get rid of and now I’m being told Amber wants everything that was left to me all because she thinks she’s entitled to it.
Sighing, Mr. Charms explains, “She’s claiming you’re in a mental hospital and unless you are willing to express what had happened to you in a court room full of people, she has a case.”
“How can she have a case, Summer is clearly not in the mental hospital!” Stone snaps and I flinch causing him to clear his throat and mutter, “Sorry, sweetheart.”
I swallow hard, hating my reaction to him and the need to find Eric pulls at my insides, which again, says a lot but then again, I was madly, head over heels in love with him. He’d already gained my trust, even after what he did, my trust never went because I knew why he did it.
Still makes him a jackass though.
Mr. Charms picks up a folder and Stone walks forward knowing I-I can’t, the thought of stepping closer to a lawyer I have known since I was fourteen terrifies me.
“What the fuck?!” Stone demands as he reads through the paperwork before handing it to me and I frown.
“She has proof I’m in a mental hospital?” I ask with confusion, “I’m standing right here.”
Pretty sure the warehouse isn’t a mental hospital.
“A woman, your height, your hair color, your age has been seen by a judge claiming to be you. I ordered a DNA test with said judge in attendance to prove it because apparently my word isn’t enough but your mama is trying to contest it,” he says and I take a deep breath as he reminds me, “You have no trustee over your accounts, your assets so to speak and your mama is trying to claim that as your blood, she should be entitled to it because she’s paying for your so called stay. ”
“Didn’t realize being kidnapped cost so much,” I mutter and both men wince making me shake my head, though I do flinch at the jolting pain in my neck.
“Okay,” I say as I pass the paperwork back to Stone and look at Mr. Charms, his dark gray eyes looking at me with concern.
“First things first, I want to name a trustee and all the legal documents drawn up right now.” I state and my lawyer eyes me until I state, “I want Eric Mathews named as my trustee and for everything to be left to him if something should happen to me because clearly it no longer matters to some judges that my dad wanted the inheritance split if I wasn’t around and then you are going to call that judge and have him come here while Stone is here,” And the man smiles wide.
I stop pacing and look at the photo of me on Eric’s nightstand, grinning at the camera while sat on his Harley, carefree.
Everything seemed so simple back then, heck, even last night, eating junk food and watching a funny movie, just him and me on the couch, me leaned against him despite my body trying to protest. It felt like old times, until I fell asleep and the demons invaded my head, the memories, the pain.
I need to eliminate one of those demons, I just don’t know if Eric will let me if I told him what I wanted to do, that I know where one of the people they are looking for are despite them claiming they gutted the place.
He doesn’t know the details of what I went through and I don’t want him to know just like I don’t want him to know what I had to do just to survive, what I’m capable of.
I chew my bottom lip, hesitation filling me knowing how much this is going to piss him off but dammit, I need to sneak out, I just don’t know how.
I drop my chin to my chest for a moment and breathe deeply, trying to think.
I can’t let her walk around and think she can get away with what she did.
She sold me, had me go through that hell all because she wanted what wasn’t hers to have and I know she’s most likely been hiding in the small cubby behind the pantry door every time a brother has gutted her place, one I used to hide in every time she brought a man home.
Taking another deep breath, I look up and around the room before I eye the window.
We’re on the bottom floor and if I time it right, I might be able to sneak out just as the prospects change over their shifts in five minutes and I know not a lot of people are outside right now with it being a little colder than normal.
I eye the shut bedroom door quickly, the plan seeming good.
There’s a prospect outside who has to check on me every couple of minutes, something he just did before I began pacing, meaning I have roughly two minutes to get out of that window and across the yard towards the gate or I could have four if I cause a distraction.
I look at the bathroom door and without thinking I rush over to it and go inside, shutting the door behind me, my heart pounding just before the door to Eric’s room opens.
“Summer?” Willie calls and I swallow hard before replying, “in the bathroom…” just as I turn the tap on.
“Okay I’ll come back in a few minutes,” he says before I hear the door shut and I rush out the bathroom, leaving the tap on but close the door and I run towards the window.
Opening it, letting the cold air in, I quickly climb out and shut it behind me, before I sprint over to the garden gate and go through it.
I look around and notice no one about just as two prospects talk in the box thing and I hurry over, bending a little so they can’t see me and without looking back, not wanting to get anyone’s attention if someone is walking out of the door, I run down the road, keeping close to the hedge with one destination in mind, not caring that Eric is going to be pissed because this monster, it’s mine to slay.
***
I slowly walk up to the apartment building my dad ensured I’d live in because of the security ten minutes later trying to keep my breathing even despite the pure panic running through me that someone is going to take me again, my eyes moving repeatedly, ensuring I know my surroundings.
This was supposed to be a place of safety but having me be left with the woman who birthed me was the only thing my dad did wrong.
I was anything but safe.
Swallowing, I put in the code on the front door before walking inside, my phone in my pocket vibrating, just like it has been since I got five minutes away from the clubhouse and I take the stairs.
I know she’s here, she wouldn’t risk being seen outside if Hanz or Gabriel has managed to tell her what had happened, that their organization has been torn to shreds, she’ll be hiding scared, especially knowing I was saved.
I quickly go through the door and walk down the hallway before coming up to her door and I take a deep breath and reach behind the light on the wall, my fingers grabbing the key and I shake my head.
She has an MC on her back, no, scratch that she has several MC’s after her and an organization yet she keeps the spare key behind the light still?
Rolling my eyes at her stupidity, I unlock the door and quietly walk in, Ambers voice echoing making me flinch as it goes through me.
“Where in the hell is my money, Hanz? That stupid lawyer now wants a DNA sample off your fucking sister!” she shouts and I raise a brow.
Hanz’s sister is the woman in the mental hospital?
Why would she go along with that?
Maybe he had her raped as well.
“I don’t give a shit if those fuckers are still after you, I don’t give a fuck that my daughter has vanished, you promised me that estate in payment for that bitch!” she sneers and I round the corner to find her pacing, her clothes wrinkled, her hair a mess while trash litters the living area.
“I have been stuck hiding out here for a week and a half, Hanz, while you and Gabriel do god knows what and I have had enough!” she stops pacing, “Actually you know what, I want my merchandise back! Where is my daughter?” she snaps and I state, “I’m right here,” letting myself known.
Amber spins round in shock and I look at her coldly as I move my hand behind my back and slowly pull out the blade I found in Eric’s drawers because yes, I snuck through them.
Amber drops her phone as she looks at me, eyeing me up but I don’t change my expression.
“Hello Mama,” I say coldly bringing the blade to my side, her eyes going to it.
“You’ve never called me mama before,” she mumbles, her eyes staying on the blade.
“Well, it seems fitting, don’t you think?” I reply and her eyes lock with mine as I state, “Considering you are about to die.”
Amber laughs uncomfortably and asks, “What? You think you’re going to kill me? You haven’t got the guts.”
I tilt my head and admit, “You won’t be the first person I kill, Mama,” she flinches at the name, “I killed a few of my rapists over the year and a half I was in that place, after I had my virginity torn from me, after you sold me.”
Ambers nostrils flare and I say, “I watched a sixteen year old hang herself, not able to live with what she’d been through, just like I tried to hang myself last week after the MC saved me and you know the best thing mama,” I smirk, “Eric, known to you as Anchor, the road captain to the Rebels MC is the trustee of everything Dad left me meaning even if you tried to get that DNA test thrown out, everything will still go to him. meaning not I am ten steps ahead of you, you lose…”
Amber’s face pales before anger takes hold and she screeches, “I should have aborted you, you little bitch,” just as she charges towards me, clearly believing I won’t hurt her but I bring the knife up as she goes to grab me and I push forward as I stab the blade right into her lower stomach making her choke out a gasp as our eyes connect.
“That is for the three babies I had kicked out of my stomach, babies conceived through torment, terror and rape,” I sneer as I twist the blade then yank it out, her hand instantly going to her stomach in shock, blood spilling through her fingers and I take a step back before slicing the blade across her throat and I spit, “And that is for selling me,” just as she drops to her knees, choking on her blood, her eyes wide.
She’s dead as her body hits the floor and I step over her and pick her phone up, putting it to my ear seeing the call still connected.
“Amber!” Hanz snaps, “What the fuck is going on?”
“The fuck is going on, is Amber is dead and you are going to be next,” I state coldly, “You and Gabriel, because you know what, Hanz? You can run but you cannot hide.”
“Summer,” he chokes in shock and I smile as I say, “Tick tock, your times running out,” before I hang up and turn and look at Amber lying dead on the floor, blood puddling around her and I throw the knife next to her along with her phone as I grab mine from my pocket that is yet again vibrating.
“Hey,” I answer without looking at the screen and keep my eyes on Amber knowing it’ll be a very pissed off Eric, though this time, I don’t think he’ll be telling me he loves me.
“Hey?” Eric snaps, “Fucking hey? Are you kidding me right now, Summer?”
Oh he’s mad, he barely ever calls me Summer, I’m always sunshine or baby.
“Where are you?!” he demands and I reply, “At Ambers apartment,” before I hang up and put my phone back in my pocket as I lean against the dining table, keeping my eyes on the body.
I think it’s time Eric sees how unhinged I really am and then maybe he’ll let me end it all.
One could hope anyway but somehow I think Eric will hold onto me even tighter because despite everything, I’m his all and I know this.
I just don’t think I’m worth the problems he’ll have to deal with, especially when I have to carry my rapist’s baby and push it out before giving it up.