Chapter 20
20
Anchor – One Month Later
“Fuck, Anchor,” Viking, a Rebels brother, who runs their illegal fight club in Brooklyn, rasps as he looks over my bruised face and cut eyebrow, and don’t fucking get me started on my ribs.
I’m in their locker rooms, a room Perrie frequented a lot growing up, especially when her father had a heart attack, and she had to give him CPR. She couldn’t get over his death, and this was her outlet—fighting.
I understand it, the way someone hitting you takes away the emotional pain that’s drowning you. It fades for ten minutes, or however long you can last in the ring, meaning allowing someone to kick the shit outta you, before you drop them.
I’m black and blue, I can feel it, and I fucking relish in it. The pain is everywhere, and without it, I’m going to drown in my sorrow and grief, I just know it.
Viking runs his fingers through his long, dirty blonde hair.
“Your prez is going to kill me; you were supposed to end the fight and win after three rounds, not go all fucking ten, then knock him out after he’s done this to you, even if it was good fucking entertainment for the crowd!” he snaps, but I block him out as Cassidy gently tapes up my brow.
I can feel the sorrow radiating from her, the concern, but I just can’t seem to give two fucks.
I’m numb, so fucking numb.
A whole month without my wife’s beautiful eyes, a month without hearing her sweet, sultry voice.
“I’m worried about you,” Cassidy murmurs, but I don’t speak. What is there to say? My wife is still in a coma, and it is looking like her chances of waking up are diminishing by the day.
The swelling in her brain has gone down, and after her second fucking operation, she’s off the ventilator, but she’s not waking up, she’s not with me or with our son.
“Travis,” Cassidy whispers, and I lock eyes with my best friend’s woman. Her hazel eyes tear up as she says, “You, doing this to yourself, it’s not helping Heaven, it’s not helping Micha. He needs you right now….”
I grit my teeth and say, “This is the only way I can function, Cass; it’s the only way I can breathe without wanting to fucking end it all.”
Her eyes widen at my confession as Viking snaps, “You don’t fucking talk like that! Your son needs you to be strong right now.”
I growl with frustration and snap back, “Why do you think I keep fighting, huh? Why do you think I allow the fuckers to kick the shit outta me before I put them down so you still get a big fucking payday?” I sigh, slouching, and admit, “This is the only way to keep me going right now. I see my son every single day, I take him to the hospital every single day to see his mom. There, I watch his heartbreak each time she doesn’t open her eyes, then I listen to his cries until he’s asleep, before I ask my dad to sit with him. He’s no longer in the home he’s grown up in, his mom’s in a coma and may never wake up,” I look at Cass, then Viking, “If I need to come here and have someone beat the shit outta me to keep me in check so I don’t do something fucking stupid, then what is the harm?”
Cassidy’s tears fall as Viking growls and growls, “The problem is that you look like you’ve gone ten rounds with a fucking boulder, and Steal is going to kick my ass!”
“Steal is not your problem right now,” Perrie states as she walks into the room, her bump stretching her tank top, Acid right behind her.
His eyes harden when he sees the state of me while Perrie, fuck, even I flinch back at the pixie-sized ball of anger.
Viking takes a step back, holding his hands up in innocence, making Cass bite her bottom lip to stop the laughter from escaping.
“Fuck, brother, Heaven is going to be pissed if she sees you like this.” Acid sighs.
I shake my head but instantly regret it as I wince at the pain in my neck. Cass quickly grabs hold of me, seeing my reaction, and frowns as she presses against the tender muscle for a few seconds, then mumbles, “Just bruised,” then looks at me and growls, “this can’t keep happening!”
“And it won’t if my wife wakes up,” I mutter.
“Now, Perrie, you're pregnant,” Viking says, “it’s not a fair fight; I can’t hit back.”
I smirk for the first time in weeks at seeing a grown-ass man scared of little Perrie.
“I’d have to knock you out if you hit my woman, brother,” Acid adds while Perrie gets in Viking's face.
“I told you not to let him fight anymore,” she snarls as she pokes the man’s bare chest. “I told you to tie him up until we got here, not let him get his ass kicked!”
“Actually, I won the fight,” I butt in, not helping.
Perrie glares my way, and I sigh. She wants a fight, but she’s not getting it from me; I haven’t got the fucking energy to get into it with her, especially when she is the last person to give me a fucking lecture when this was her outlet after her dad died.
Shaking my head, I ignore the pains shooting through my body and stand slowly, causing Cass to back away. I place my hand on my ribs, trying to breathe as I grab my shirt and cut.
“Your ribs are bruised, Anchor, so I’m telling you, as a doctor, no fighting,” Cass says firmly.
I snort and remind her, “You are not my doctor, and we all know Viking can’t say no to me fighting tomorrow night with the revenue I’m bringing in.”
I look at Cass and see her glaring my way, along with her sister, while Viking and Acid both wince.
One angry Halliwell sister is bad enough, but two? Most men run for the hills, and I won’t lie, I’m ready to bolt as well.
“I’ll just lock you in Heaven’s room, then,” Cass promises, but I don’t take the bait.
Instead, I gently kiss her forehead and whisper, “Speaking of Heaven,” then walk around her.
I salute to Viking and Acid, then kiss Perrie's cheek, but before she pulls back, she grabs my hand, and we lock eyes, her green ones full of worry.
“Please, Anchor, don’t keep doing this,” she begs.
I soften toward her. This woman is so fucking strong. Here, in this room, two jealous, evil pieces of shit raped her, taking her virginity, without using protection. She ended up pregnant and had an abortion, but I need her to see I’m not strong, not without Heaven. I never have been.
“You, of all people, know this feeling, Pez,” I whisper, and her eyes tear up. I gently cup her cheek and say, “My whole heart is in a coma. Without her, I’m nothing. She centers me—even when she was adamant about divorcing me, she was still my universe. I fucked up and lost her for ten years, had to take the slivers of her she’d leave behind for me. When I finally get her back, fate fucks up my world.” Perrie’s tears fall, and I gently wipe them with my thumb, and finish, “I’m sorry, Perrie, but until Heaven wakes up, I won’t be able to stop, because the pain without her will consume me, and then where will Micha be?”
Her body trembles, and I kiss her forehead before walking out of the room, ready to see my wife.
“Good evening, An…” a nurse starts as I get to the ICU but freezes when she sees the state of me.
I ignore her wide brown eyes and ask, “Any change?”
She clears her throat and shakes her head, muttering, "Not when she last had her vitals forty minutes ago.”
I nod and walk down the hallway toward my wife’s room. I know I look like shit, I know I look like I’ve been run over by a truck, trust me, I feel like I have, but nothing is stopping me from going into my wife’s room. Every night I’m here with her, my body pressed against hers until four in the morning when I’ll go home and get Micha ready for school.
Dad normally takes him while I shower and then continue packing up the house. With the help of the prospects, we’ve been unpacking everything at my house on the compound before I go to work for the rest of the day, where my son meets me with my mom or Heaven’s.
Both women are fucking suffocating me, especially Tara, which is surprising, to say the least.
The woman ruined my wife’s childhood and outlook on relationships with men; she’s a big part of the reason my wife kept filing for a fucking divorce instead of giving me another chance.
I mean, I get it, a few months to a year, sure, but not fucking ten goddamn years !
As soon as I touch the handle to her door, my body deflates, the day taking its toll—the fucking month more like it….
Not looking up, not ready to see my lifeless wife, I quietly shut the door and walk over to the chair, throwing my cut on it before I carefully remove my shirt. I grunt at the pull on my ribs before I turn and finally look at my wife—my breathing halts, my body freezing.
Ice blue eyes stare back at me, then drift down my chest, and very slowly, my wife, my fucking beautiful wife, takes in my form, going over my cuts and bruises, all while I stay frozen, wondering if I’m seeing things.
She’s awake—holy fuck, please tell me I’m not dreaming….
My pulse races, and my thoughts go haywire the longer she’s quiet.
Fuck, does she remember me?
Does she remember our son?
Oh shit, can she even speak?
Panic hits me hard as her eyes return to mine, and confusion shines in hers, and I fist my hands.
Please, please, please….
She furrows her brows as the door to her room opens again, but we don’t look away from each other; I physically fucking can’t. My heart is pounding, fear running through me as Cassidy snaps, “I meant what I said, Anchor….”
I’m not really shocked she followed me here, but, fuck, am I glad right now.
I feel her come up to me and nudge my arm to get my attention, but I don’t look away from my wife.
“C-Cassidy,” Heaven chokes out, getting her attention, and Cass gasps.
“You’re awake….”
I stay fucking frozen.
Heaven recognizes Cassidy, which is good, right?
She can talk, yet she has said fuck all to me.
Heaven doesn’t look away from me, her eyes growing cold, and my panic turns to absolute terror until she says, “What i-in the h-hell happened t-to my husband?” and everything in me, all the worry, the pain, the heartbreak crash into me like a fucking truck.
“Fuck,” I choke and stumble forward, and without a single care in the world, my knees collapse to the floor, my legs giving way as I place my head against my wife’s empty stomach, my tears falling hard and faster, my body trembling.
She grips my hair, and I croak out, “Fuck,” again, reality catching up with me.
She’s awake, she’s a fucking wake, and she remembers me….
“I-I, I’m going to let the doctor know you’re awake, but I’ll tell him to give you both a minute…. God, it’s good to see you, Heaven,” Cass sobs before I hear the door open and shut.
“I missed you, Angel,” I choke out after a few minutes, and her grip tightens.
“M-Micha?” she questions, and I look up at her.
“He's with my dad, safe. He’s been here every single day, Heaven, before I take him home, and then come back to stay with you,” I reply as I raise my hand and cup her cheek.
Fucking hell, she’s really awake….
My tears fall, unable to stop them, as she looks over my face, and I don’t know what makes her ask, “I lost the baby, didn’t I?”
I nod slightly, and tears pour from her beautiful eyes before she trembles, and she places her hand on her stomach.
“I’m so sorry, Angel, so goddamn, sorry,” I choke out, and her cries shake her frame.
I lean over her, pressing my forehead against hers. She grips my shoulder with her other hand, sobbing her heart out at our loss, and guilt consumes me for putting her in this predicament to begin with, for messing with her birth control pills instead of just kidnapping her like Steal did with Cass.
This pain she’s going through, the hurt, I’m never going to fucking forgive myself for it, just like I know she’ll never forgive me.