Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Mac
“ S o are we all just going to be chill and act like it’s not weird that, all of a sudden, Capt has drama?” Thoren stood at the sink in the station’s kitchen, washing a salad. I’d almost managed to escape their inquisition by keeping us busy all day. But dinnertime meant a few moments of downtime, and now all bets were off.
A prickly sensation crawled over my skin. I hated being the topic of conversation, and I certainly didn’t want to talk about Olivia and Rosie.
“I was trying to give the man a moment to absorb everything.” Nate scowled in Thoren’s direction, immediately winning brownie points for standing up for me. “But now that you’ve brought it up.” Nate turned to me. “What gives, Capt?”
“You bunch of gossiping hens,” Mo piped in from the recliners. “Learn to read the room. Capt doesn’t wanna talk about this, evidenced by his even pissier than normal demeanor. ”
“Well, we weren’t the ones seen following a pretty young girl on a bike through town yesterday,” Thoren shot back. “Word to the wise. You really gotta watch out for those old ladies, Capt. They got a whole calling-tree chain and everything. Kylie said it’s scary the amount of dirt they have on people.”
I didn’t even need to be in the room. They could have this discussion without me. I didn’t want to think about anything, and I certainly didn’t want to talk about my life issues, especially with them.
I was supposed to be their mentor, not the other way around. I was the “old man” of the crew—one of the reasons I was so keyed up to make it to retirement. Working around men young enough to be my kids and not being able to keep up… my time in service was running short. This career was hard on an old guy. And I certainly did not want to think or talk about the two new additions in my life.
“The kid came to my house.” Dammit. The words vomited forth like I had no control over them.
Thoren spun to me, his eyes growing wide as he tapped the water off and set his bowl aside. “Whoa, Captain. Maybe let’s go have a sit-down.”
Nate came around the island. “You’re looking kind of pale, boss.” He ushered me to the table, his grip on my arm the only thing that kept me steady until I could sink into a chair.
Mo braced on the table, leaning over me like a father scolding a child. “Talk.”
Oh, how the tides had changed.
I was the one who was supposed to issue orders.
How many times had we had debriefs in this same space? This was just another debrief. I let that thought wash over me and laid out what I knew. An odd sort of relief coming with every word.
“I still don’t have all the facts,” I admitted. “Don’t know why they’re here, if there’s a reason. But the girl came by my house. Her excuse was that she knew someone from Landreau’s family and wanted to thank me for that charity fundraiser we held when he was so sick with cancer.”
These men had been there during the organizing and execution of that event. But I’d been the lead face for the department and had been tasked with all of the PR work. “She showed up at my house, riding a dang bicycle, of all things, and man, it was like looking into a mirror and seeing a young female version of myself.”
“How do you feel about that?” Mo asked.
I swallowed. Hard. “I don’t know. I’m conflicted.”
“Man, I bet. That’s kind of huge to find out you have a kid.”
Especially when I’d resigned myself to being alone. Had given up on ever finding the right person to start a family with. Had given up on having a family of my own, even though it had been something I’d wanted from the time I left the military. Diedre hadn’t been ready, and then she left me. And all those dreams of a family got buried. But I couldn’t tell these men, these friends, about that. It was too close. Too personal. I could only nod at Mo.
“So… the daughter found you,” Thoren prompted. At my nod, he continued, “Now you’ve got to have a chat with the chief.”
“I know, I just don’t know where to start. I’m mad. Confused. I have a million questions.”
“Do you want to know this girl if she’s yours? ’Cause it sounds like she wants to know you. ”
Did I?
I let the thought roll around in my head even as I lifted a shoulder. “Maybe?” Everything was happening so fucking fast. I needed time to process. To think.
“Fair enough. Just a word to the wise. Make sure you have this conversation sooner than later, because it sounds like the kid is invested enough to seek you out. You don’t want to hurt her,” Mo advised.
“Or,” Thoren offered, “you could see what the kid knows and then approach the mom.”
Nate frowned. “Or he could be a grown-up and do the right thing and face the challenge head-on. But whatever you do, you better do it soon. Before the old lady squad one-ups you.”
And from there, they went round and round, each offering their own idea, each solution adding to the weight pressing on my shoulders. The kid didn’t deserve my attitude—that should be directed only at Olivia. And it was time for answers. Just as soon as I found the courage to ask the questions. Because the answers could change my life, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to face what they held.
The next afternoon, the crunch of gravel and Buster’s happy yipping, followed by a high-pitched giggle, alerted me to company. I walked out of my shop, wiping my hands on a grease rag, to find Rosie wrestling with my lab, her bike and backpack discarded in the yard.
“Hey, Mac,” she yelled, earning her a face full of doggy licks. She grabbed Buster in a headlock and kissed him back, sending a wild burst of energy through the goofball, which erupted in a case of the zoomies.
Rosie scrambled to her feet and bounced over to me. “Hey! Whatcha doin’?”
She looked as if she had not a care in the world. Like this was a normal situation, and it was common for a young girl to show up unexpected at an older man’s house. It made me uncomfortable to be alone with her like this. I shook my head at her. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”
She bent to retrieve the stick Buster returned with. “Dude, school got out, like, an hour ago.” Buster took off on another tear, playing his favorite game with apparently his new favorite person. “I just came by to check on my buddy. I stopped by yesterday, too, but you were at work.”
I narrowed my eyes at the wild child before me. What was she up to? “Your mom know you’re riding out here by yourself?”
She shrugged, dropping to a knee to dig through her backpack. A knot of unease unfurled in my chest. What was Rosie telling her mother about why she kept stopping by, or was she even telling her mother the truth? I knew the appropriate thing to do would be to have a conversation with Olivia, but I wasn’t quite sure it was the right time.
Rosie stood and handed me a drawing, an amateur rendering of the view of the pond. “I brought you something. It’s not very good, but I’m just learning landscape techniques. I came out here yesterday to do homework.” She held up a hand. “Before you start, don’t worry, Buster protected me. Though, he did try to follow me home.”
An unusual feeling rolled around inside me, something warm and sweet. I tamped it down, shoving it behind that wall I’d built so long ago. I wanted to get to know my daughter, but…
“Rosie, it’s not a good idea for you to be out here alone, let alone with a man you just met. You gotta be smarter than that. You’re putting me in a bad place here.”
Her face fell as she took a step back. That soft spot near my heart pinched.
She stalked over to her bike. “I didn’t mean to make you mad. I was just dropping off that picture. I was trying to be nice. You don’t have to be a turd about it.”
I gripped the back of my neck in agitation. How the fuck was I supposed to deal with an ornery teenager, one with too much curiosity and not enough awareness?
“Thank you for the picture,” I offered awkwardly.
“Whatever. It sucks anyway.” She tossed a leg over the bike. “And so do you,” she mumbled under her breath.
“Now, wait just a damn minute,” I barked, halting her before she could get on her way. “Just because I’m looking out for you, trying to make you see reason, that calls for you to think I suck? If that’s the case, so be it.” I stepped in front of her bike and got her attention. “Better be tough if you’re gonna be stupid.”
“Okay, John Wayne wannabe.”
I drew in a breath, looking for some patience. I had no idea how to talk to a teenage girl. Hell, I scared most men, but this girl was immune to intimidation.
“Rosie.” I softened my voice intentionally. “I’m not trying to be an ass. I’m trying to look out for you. You are young and pretty, and there are some very bad people in this world who would love to hurt a pretty girl like you.”
She side-eyed me like she wanted to believe me but didn’t.
“Also, people like to think the worst, so it’s best if you don’t give them anything for ammunition.”
Finally, her shoulders relaxed. “Yeah, I totally get that.”
Something in the way she said it made me think she was talking about more than being at my place. She looked out over the water and then back at me.
“Can I ask you a question?”
My bravado shriveled, but I wouldn’t lie to her. Whatever she asked, I’d be honest. I nodded, motioning for her to continue.
“Did you ever have to move to a new place and make new friends? Why are people so shitty?”
I had a feeling this was going to be a complex conversation, one I had no idea how to navigate.
“Why don’t we take a walk around the pond, and you tell me what’s going on?”
A half hour later, we’d barely made it to the opposite side of the pond, having to stop and throw Buster’s stick every other step. The sun glinted off the water under a bright blue sky. Buster’s happy splashing at the shoreline had done its magic on both of our tempers, and we were having a real conversation. That warm, sweet feeling was back in my chest.
Rosie was relaxed and sharing about her shitty situation at school. “So anyway, by the time I realized what had happened, they’d taken my sketchbooks and snapped photos, and it was going around all over school before the day was out. People were making fun of me everywhere. And the girls who’d been so nice to me suddenly turned their backs.”
“Sounds like classic mean-girl treatment. Get close to you to get what they want, then have no trouble hurting your feelings or setting you up.” I had no idea if what I was telling her was bullshit, but it sounded reasonable.
“Exactly.”
We walked in silence a little more, Rosie stopping to toss the stick to Buster again .
“I really dread going to school. I don’t want to face these kids.”
Now, that I could understand. Except, it was her own mother I dreaded facing. But during the course of our stroll, it’d become apparent to me that I was going to confront Olivia the next chance I got.
“I get it, kid. But you just be you. A lot of times when people are mean like that, it’s because they’re jealous. Do the teachers know what happened?”
She shrugged. “No. At least I don’t think so.”
“Do you think it would help if you talked to them?”
She shook her head. “I don’t wanna be known as a tattletale.”
“I get that, but is there one who might take your side?”
She kicked a rock. “Maybe my art teacher.”
I didn’t know what to say. Had no advice to give. And suddenly, I felt like stomping into the school and coming down hard on some punk-ass teenagers.
We walked and talked some more, and I found myself embroiled in the teenage angst of making new friends until, finally, the subject changed to more general topics, like what kind of boat I had and what kind of fish were in the pond.
By the time we made it back to her bike, her attitude was gone.
“Thanks for being here for me today, Mac.”
“Anytime, kid.”
I whistled for Buster to hang back with me, fighting the urge to follow her or offer her a ride.
Knowing that she’d come here again, I was conflicted.
Part of me was happy about it. I was glad she liked my space. Another part of me was holding back because what if Olivia found out—and she would, because I had to talk to her about this—and made it so Rosie couldn’t come by anymore.
I felt guilty knowing that she was mine, especially with her probably knowing it too and both of us ignoring it. It was time to find my balls and confront Olivia because, after one afternoon, I was smitten with my daughter.