14. Christa
Knockingat the door had me ducking down below the front window and hiding from whoever snuck up on me. With wide eyes, I felt the panic rise in my chest at the thought of my father showing up again.
Did he know I was lying to him? Was he here to call me out?
“Christa! I know you’re in there!”
I sagged in relief at the sound of Bridget’s voice. I stood on shaky legs and stumbled over to the door, still trying to calm my racing heart. I flung the door open and fell into her open arms.
Well, they weren’t really open. She was holding brown paper bags in either hand. “You have no idea how happy I am you’re not a man.”
“Um…I’m happy too?”
I jerked back and pulled her inside, scanning the yard for anyone lurking outside. I slammed the door, scaring the shit out of her as I hustled around, desperate to clean up the remnants of my night with Max.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
“I have to clean this up,” I said, pulling out the wine bottles from behind the pillows. “My father came by this morning and Max was in my bedroom,” I rambled, stuffing another bottle in the crook of my arm. “And then I had to lie to him because there’s cum on the window and I was only in my bra with no panties, and Max wouldn’t wake up!”
She quickly set down the bags and rushed over to me, grabbing me by both arms. “Okay, you need to calm down and explain all that slowly.”
I nodded and let her pry the bottles out of my arms before she shoved me down into the chair.
“Just start from the beginning.”
“Okay, so you know how I said I wasn’t feeling good last night?”
“Let me guess, that was a lie,” she said, shooting me a knowing look.
“Yes, it was. Max snuck in through the back door. He was waiting for me in the kitchen!”
“Ooh, I like the way this is going,” she grinned.
“It was horrible. I kept telling him to leave, and he kept kissing me and mauling me! Do you know how hard it is to say no to a man like that?”
“No, but I wish I did,” she said, fanning herself.
“And then after you left, it was like…attack!”
She reared back in surprise. “He attacked you?”
“No. He literally pounced on me. It was…” The grin on my face said it all. “Anyway, it was a very busy night with lots of wine. Lots and lots of wine,” I stressed. “And I’m hoping it’s all a dream, but I’m pretty sure it’s not…”
“What?”
I winced, smacking my hand to my face. “I’m pretty sure I let him press me up against the window and…you know…do it!”
She slapped a hand across her mouth, unable to look away from me.
“I know! And that’s just what I remember. God knows what else I let him do to me.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t ask God about that,” she muttered.
“Right? And then my father came over, which I completely forgot about—and Max wouldn’t wake up! I tried spraying him with the shower extension, and it wouldn’t reach. So, when I was talking with my dad, he slipped on the floor twice and my dad heard. He almost came in. And now I have to get a cat!”
Again, she looked at me in confusion. “Because…”
“Because he thinks Max is a cat,” I said, knowing that didn’t fully explain what was going on. I sighed, plopping my chin in my hand. “I lied to my father, I kicked Max out, and now I have to clean up this mess! And all I really want to do is call him and tell him to come over and do dirty things to me!”
“So, do that.”
“I can’t! I threw him out!”
Bridget sighed heavily. “Why did you do that?”
“Because he snuck over for a good time. It’s definitely good. Trust me. But I can’t let him continue to sleep with me without having some boundaries.”
“Maybe you should consider keeping him around on the side?”
I stared at her in shock. “Who are you and what have you done with Bridget?”
“I’m just saying, you talked about reinventing yourself. Maybe this is something you need to do. Or…he’s something you need to do.”
I was absolutely stupefied by the woman beside me. My friend Bridget never talked about sex like that. Yet, here she was, acting like it was no big deal.
“Okay, what’s going on with you?”
“Nothing, I just…have had some time to consider the way things are for you right now. And…we always had a pact!”
I gaped at her. “This is about that stupid pact in the fifth grade?”
She shoved out of her seat, pointing at me. “We had a deal!”
“In fifth grade!”
“I stuck to it. I guess pacts don’t mean as much to you.”
I scoffed at the idiocy of her statement. “This isn’t about you or that pact. This is about the decisions I made in my adult life.”
“Which we agreed to make together.”
“You were there! I mean, not there there, but you were in the bar with me. You practically told me to go for it!”
“I know!” she snapped, kicking my chair. She flopped down, covering her face with her hands. “This really isn’t about you. It’s…” She finally looked up at me. “I have something to confess.”
“Okay…”
“I’m…not a virgin.” She threw herself into my cushions, burying her face from me.
“What?” I knew the sounds coming from my mouth were shrill and crazy sounding, but I was in a state of shock.
“I know, I know!”
“How long?”
“Sixteen,” she groaned.
I didn’t even know what to say to that. All these years… “You were hiding it from me?”
“Not just you. Everyone! We made that pact and I knew if Emily or Amy found out, it would get back to you.”
“How many?” I asked woodenly.
She winced. “Five.”
“Five times?” I shrieked.
“No, five guys.”
I gasped, pushing away from her. “I can’t believe this! All those nights you pretended to not know!”
“I know! I’m a horrible friend!”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because I didn’t want you to feel pressured.” Walking over to me, she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m a fraud. But I wanted to do it, and I knew if I told you, it might influence you. And I didn’t want to push you one way or the other.”
Honestly, it was a sweet thing to do. “I can’t believe you’ve pretended all these years for me.”
“I’m really sorry,” she sighed. “I wanted to tell you, but there was no good way to do it.”
“It’s okay. I’m not mad.”
“Really?”
“No, and now we can talk about it without me feeling weird.”
I sank down on the couch, feeling lighter than I had all morning. It shouldn’t feel better just knowing that she wasn’t a virgin, but somehow, it made me feel so much lighter.
“I can’t believe your dad came to the door,” she chuckled.
“Tell me about it.”
“So, what are you gonna do about Max?”
“Nothing, I guess.”
“But you like him.”
“I do,” I nodded. “But I can’t let him sneak over here every night just because he wants sex. It’s not fair to either of us.”
“To you. I doubt he cares.”
“That too. I don’t know. I like being with him, but how long can I keep this up?”
“Until your coochie hurts,” she teased.
“Yeah, but I have to do this for me.”
“I get it. And if you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks, sweetie.”
I pulled her into my arms for a hug and closed my eyes, knowing I made the right decision. It was better if Max stayed in my past.
A loud bangwoke me out of a dead sleep. Fumbling on the nightstand, I glared at the bright green numbers on the clock. It was only eight, but I’d fallen asleep an hour ago after my bad night of sleep.
Another bang, followed by a curse, reminded me why I woke up. I flung off the covers and grabbed the lamp on the nightstand, jerking the cord out of the wall. Carefully, I crept into the hall and waited for any sign of who was there.
My heart raced a million miles a minute as I tiptoed toward the living room. I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to go looking for danger. I was going to end up dead, and then the police would show up and chastise my dead body for not having a better weapon than a lamp.
“Shit!”
The sound came just around the corner, followed by glass breaking. I knew hesitation would get me killed, so I rounded the corner and swung with all my might, cracking the intruder over the head. He dropped hard to the ground, rolling over to face up.
Gasping, I stared down at Max, then threw the rest of the lamp at him. “You idiot! You broke into my house!”
He blinked several times, then groaned as he searched his pockets. “Oh, thank God, my cigars are okay.”
“What are you doing here?” I hissed, kicking him in the ribs.
“Ow! Geez, lady! I’m injured. Haven’t you ever heard the phrase Don’t kick a man when he’s down?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t apply to people who break into your house!”
“I didn’t break in. You forgot to lock the door again. Seriously, did you leave it open for me, or was there someone else you were expecting?”
“I wasn’t expecting anyone! And what made you think it was okay to come in?”
“Well, for one, the open door,” he snapped, getting to his feet.
“And then you broke something,” I said, hitting the lights. “What is that?”
“It’s a vase,” he sighed, shoving his hands on his hips. “I…got you some flowers.”
“Wait, that’s my vase?”
“Did you miss the part about the flowers?”
I hadn’t, but I was still stuck on the fact that he broke my vase. “Where are they?”
“Well, I hadn’t exactly gotten them yet,” he muttered. “They’re sort of at the store.”
“Then why did you need the vase?” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Okay, there are no flowers. I was looking for a glass.”
“So, you’re just making up shit left and right,” I snapped, only belatedly realizing that I swore at him.
“I was trying to come up with a good reason to explain the vase on the ground. You didn’t have to ruin the surprise.”
“The surprise you were only going to give me because you lied about it?”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Christ, you’re a stickler. I didn’t know you were so goddamn strict!”
I covered my ears, wincing at the language he used. “Would you please stop saying those things?”
“Which things? That you’re strict?”
“No, the way you took the Lord’s name in vain!”
“Huh?” he frowned, staring at me like I was the strange one.
Grabbing his arm, I dragged him back to the door. “Look, thank you for stopping by and pretending that you were going to get me flowers, but I have an early day tomorrow and I can’t afford to have a late night with you.”
“But I was going to get you flowers!”
Frustrated, I opened the door and shoved him through it, then slammed the door in his face. Leaning back against it, I tried to forget just how much I wanted to let him stay.
Then he tapped against the door. “I don’t suppose it would help if I told you I have a massive hard on for you right now.”
“Not at all!” I shouted, clenching my thighs together.
“That’s a shame. Fuck, I want you so bad. I was thinking tonight we could do this thing I read about. Basically, you sit on my face and?—”
I spun and jerked the door open before he could utter another word. He was in my house, lifting me up and carrying me to my bedroom in a matter of seconds. As much as I wanted to fight him, it was nearly impossible. I wanted him, and even though I knew it was wrong and went against all my beliefs, I couldn’t help myself.
I didn’t stop him when he stripped me naked, or when he shoved his head between my legs. That was something I really enjoyed, though it embarrassed the hell out of me. And when he thrust inside me, I gave up trying to pretend that I was going to tell him to stop. It wasn’t worth lying to myself.
After we finished, I laid panting on the bed beside him, trying to find the best way to tell him to leave. I’d never done this before and I wasn’t sure about the etiquette. Did I just tell him to go home? Or did I have to ask really nicely?
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?”
“Hmm?” I asked, thrown off by his question.
“Fuck, how is it possible to fuck you that hard and still need to be inside you already?” he grumbled, pulling me against him.
He wasn’t lying. Holy crap, he was hard already. My breath caught in my throat as he ground his erection into me.
“Baby, you know what I want right now?”
I shook my head, biting my lip as heat flushed through my body.
“I want you on your knees.” His voice rumbled through his chest, sending chills skating over my skin.
“And…what do you want me to do down there?” I asked, pretty sure I already knew the answer. But I wanted to hear him say it. He made everything sound so dirty and amazing. Maybe it was my way of telling myself I had no choice but to bow to his will.
“Get down there and I’ll show you.”
I slipped from the bed, completely naked and at his mercy. A wave of shyness crept over me, but I did my best to keep my back straight. I would not let him see how nervous I was.
Except, I was terrified. I’d never done this before. What if I did it wrong? What if he hated it and never wanted to see me again?
His thumb brushed against my lip and I finally looked into his eyes. All I saw there was pure desire. His cock jutted out just inches from my face, yet he didn’t make a move. He was leaving this all up to me.
Licking my lips, I leaned forward and stuck my tongue out, running it over the head of his cock. His sharp intake of breath had me pulling back.
“Why did you stop, baby?”
Okay, so he liked it. I had to get better at reading signals. Feeling bold, I wrapped my hand around his thick length and stroked it once. Again, he sucked in a breath, but this time I kept going. His eyes narrowed as he threaded his fingers through my hair and held tight, forcing my head forward. I opened wide just a second before his cock thrust into my mouth.
At first, it was awkward. I didn’t know what to do with my tongue, and my teeth felt like they were in the way. I didn’t want him to think I was going to bite him. Then, he started pushing back too deep and I started gagging, feeling like I was going to throw up. Tears pricked my eyes and the urge to vomit increased by the second.
Then he pulled out and I gasped, sucking in lungfuls of air. “Holy crap,” I muttered.
“Fuck, I love the way you swallow my cock, baby. Open wide.”
I really didn’t want to. How was this enjoyable? But I couldn’t say no. He’d gone down on me multiple times. I couldn’t just walk away.
So, I opened my lips and waited for the giant cucumber to enter my mouth. He tossed his head back, groaning as he slid his cock back and forth over my tongue. I started saying Bible verses in my head, but that instantly put me off, so I switched to listing vegetables as a distraction.
“That’s it, baby. I love it when you get rough.”
I had no clue what he was talking about, but when he slid out, I realized my mouth closed slightly, scraping my teeth along his cock. So, when he shoved into me again, I made sure to add a little pressure. The result was one very satisfied man, and with that, my pride shot through the roof. Now, I understood the appeal. The way he was looking at me with heat in his eyes made me feel like a queen. I would give anything to make him look at me like that every day.
This time, I moaned as he pulled out.
He thrust hard into my mouth as his jaw clenched. “That sweet mouth is almost as good as your pussy. Look at those tits bouncing while I fuck your mouth. Fuck, I’m gonna come all over you and smear my cum all over those tits. You’ll be begging for me to fuck those tits.”
I was so turned on. My body was aching for him to touch me, to pull my nipples and whisper dirty things to me. I loved it when he called them my tits. It sounded so filthy and wrong, and that made me want to do everything I could to please him.
I closed my eyes and sucked on him hard as I moaned around his manhood. His hand gripping my hair turned painful as his hard length choked me. I was so turned on I almost slipped my hand between my legs. And I was about to when he cried out, jerking his cock from my mouth as he stumbled backward.
“What the fuck was that?” he screamed at me.
“What?” I pushed off my knees and stumbled over to him, but he backed away even further, holding up his hand to ward me off. “What happened?”
“You bit me!”
“I…what?”
I most definitely did not bite him. I would have known if I had done that.
“Jesus, I like you rough, but that was sadistic.” He glanced down and paled. “I’m bleeding.”
“But I didn’t bite you! Let me look.”
“Stay away!” he ordered, his eyes growing wary of me with every second that passed. “Like hell you didn’t bite me. It was sharp and painful and just plain mean!”
“But I—” I slapped a hand over my mouth as I realized what happened. “My retainer.”
“Your what?”
“I have a loose wire on my retainer.”
“What the fuck is a retainer?” he shouted at me.
“I had braces, okay? It’s a permanent retainer and it… the wire’s broken!”
“And you didn’t think that was something I should know? I stuck my dick in your mouth!”
“Well, maybe you should have asked first!”
“I did! At no time did you mention a broken fucking wire. You could have maimed me for life. I might never get hard again!”
“I’m sorry!” I shouted. “I didn’t mean for it to happen!”
His head snapped up and he glared at me. “Stay away.”
“But—”
“No buts!” He took a deep breath, his nostrils flaring. “I think it’s best we see other people.”
“Over this?” I said incredulously.
“This? I nearly lost my dick in your mouth!”
“You said you liked it when I was rough.”
“Not so rough that I risk losing the one part of me that makes me a man!”
He stomped forward, still holding his man parts as he gathered his clothes off my floor. I just stood there, not sure what to say or do. I felt horrible, but I didn’t know what I was doing! And it was my fault because I hadn’t said a word to him.
He stopped just before he was about to pass me. “Let’s not do this again.”
I bit my lip as I heard him walk to the door and slam it behind him. I jumped at the noise, then sank down on my bed, feeling horrible and alone. And I only had myself to blame. I never should have let him in.