Chapter 1 To Feel Useful #2
“Excellent idea, bro!” Zane grinned, cutting in. “My new partner in battle chaos!”
“What? She could do what, Cas?” Koa looked from one to the other.
“He wants to weaponize our moonbeam’s moonbeams!” Zane crowed.
“No!” Koa’s voice rose, his cautious tone layered with immediate concern. “She’s not a trained hunter, let alone a fighter! She doesn’t belong in combat!”
“No one’s weaponizing anything.” Casimir scowled, visibly catching himself mid-thought, his strategic mind warring with his instincts. “And I know that, Koa.”
But I saw the calculation in his stare, the same look he wore while analyzing reports before a hunt. Excellent. The seed I’d planted weeks ago had taken root. Now I only need to continue nurturing it.
Like Koa said, I wasn’t a hunter or a fighter, and I didn’t want to be. I just wanted to help.
And maybe there was something still inside me that wanted to prove I wasn’t the worthless girl Eluned and Amabel always said I was.
“Oh, look!” Beaming, I pushed a touch more power into the sphere. “I made it brighter!”
Casimir groaned, dragging a hand down his face.
Koa muttered something under his breath about a disaster waiting to happen.
“Wait, hold up.” Zane’s grin faltered as he watched the glowing ball in my hands. “Should she be doing this while she’s on her period?”
I froze as Casimir choked.
“What?” Koa turned, staring at Zane like he was insane.
“Y’know… bloodletting under the full moon?” Zane nodded sagely, completely serious except for the mischief gleaming in his gingerbread eyes. “That sounds like prime ritual territory. What if she accidentally opens a portal to the spirit realm or some shit?”
“Cruor! That’s not how magic works, dumbass!” Casimir pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You sure? Well, if she starts speaking in tongues, I’m running.”
Winding up, I launched the moonlight sphere straight at his chest. It passed through harmlessly, of course, but he yelped and clutched at his sternum, pretending something physical had hit him.
“Are you done?” I crossed my arms.
“Never.” He smirked, completely unrepentant.
With narrowed eyes, I called on the moon again, only this time I focused on its gravitational pull and tried aiming at him.
I thought it would push him back or knock him over.
Instead, he began to levitate. Only a few inches at first, but I quickly discovered I could make him go up and down with hand motions.
“Seri?” He gasped, spreading his arms wide as if to balance himself as I held him steady three feet off the ground. “You doing this, darling?”
“Why, yes, Zoodle, I am.” I gave him my sweetest smile.
Then, since he’d made a joke about my cramps at lunch, I flung my hands over my head, shooting him at least fifty feet in the air.
“Ser. A. Fuck. Ing. Fi. Na! Put me down this instant!”
Koa fell on the ground, pummelling the grass with his fists as he roared with laughter.
“How long can you leave him up there, my love?” Casimir’s green eyes turned speculative, and I shrugged.
“I didn’t even know I could do it.”
#
Koa Cimmerian
I understood what Seri was doing. Cas, I was sure, did, too.
Z? Not so much.
Our redheaded menace had been too hung up on her monthly cycle restarting to see it.
And now he was literally hung up, his face turning as dark as his freckles when Seri suspended him upside down.
“Precious, I’m sorry!” he shouted. “For every fang-rotted thing! Let me down, wife, and I’ll take you doggy style tonight! Well, not tonight, Miss Stain The Sheets, but—”
“You know the first rule of holes, Zoodle?” she called back, her chin raised and her eyes reflecting the moon’s glow. “When you’re in one, stop digging!”
Even Cas chuckled at that before he leaned down and whispered in her ear. Dhampir hearing being what it is, I heard every word, of course, but pretended not to.
“Bring him down before his head bursts, my love, and I’ll make you hot cocoa with whipped cream and shavings of Belgian chocolate.”
Zane screamed as he plummeted back to the ground at mach one, and Seri brought him to a halt a foot above the grass.
She gently laid him on his back next to Brumous, who promptly attacked him.
As the two wrestled, Casimir scooped Seri up and carried her toward the kitchen, and my mind flew back to a certain day two months ago…
Seri fluttered into the dining room, shoulders squared as she stood at the table like a nervous revolutionary at the barricades, pencil clutched in a hand that shook and notebook pressed to her chest like a shield. And that’s when I knew we were in trouble
“Not happening, little wife.” Casimir’s voice came out as flat as the stainless steel tongs he’d been using to portion out bacon.
He didn’t look up from arranging strips with military precision, three per plate. The man couldn’t pour syrup without calculating viscosity.
“Absolutely not happening, starlight.” Zane’s red hair stuck up in sleep-mussed spikes, but his eyes were hunter-sharp as he flipped a butter knife between his fingers. “You’re about as field-ready as a day-old fawn.”
“Koko?” Her voice wavered for just a heartbeat before firming. “You understand, right?”
Casimir’s head snapped up. Darkness worse than Arabesque’s magic lived in that stare.
“Don’t you dare side with her.”
“Seri, not yet,” I added, gentler than my brothers, but no less firm.
“But I can help!” she insisted, clutching her pencil like a tiny weapon.
Gray eyes flashed determination, and the sight sucker-punched me.
Her spirit fierce despite the rings lingering under those eyes and the bones still too prominent in her wrists.
Weeks of hearty meals and safety and love had brought some color back to her cheeks, but Arabesque’s cruelty couldn’t be undone so quickly.
“The answer is no.” Cas crossed his arms and stared down his nose at her. “We have this hunt handled. It’s a short day-trip just over the border into Canada. We’ll be back by nightfall.”
“I can be an asset.” She flipped open her notebook to reveal pages of detailed notes written in glitter ink and bullet-pointed by stickers. “I really can!”
My brothers and I exchanged glances over her head. We didn’t need words, not for this. Cas’ green eyes narrowed fractionally: Not a chance. Zane’s left eyebrow arched: She’s hot when she’s determined. Still no, though.
I said nothing, telegraphed nothing, caught between two instincts warring inside me.
The need to protect her battled against my belief in her strength.
The thought of her anywhere near danger made something feral rise in my chest, a savagery I barely contained on good days, but she was a protector and a fighter as much as we were.
“You’re already an asset, beloved, but your magic hasn’t returned yet,” I said quietly, placing my hand near hers without touching. Still giving her the choice to bridge that gap. “You need time—”
“I’ve had time,” she countered, but her fingers trembled as she reached for my hand. “Weeks of doing nothing but eating and sleeping and—”
“And healing. Your magic is like a muscle that atrophied. You need to build it back slowly. It hasn’t been long enough, Seri, and you know that.”
Her shoulders slumping made us all suck in a sharp breath.
Cruor, we hated to deny her anything.
Fortunately, Brumous chose that moment to trot into the room, distracting us all.
The dire wolf pup moved with newfound confidence through our home, his charcoal gray fur full and fluffy, a far cry from the starved, scarred creature we’d found that first day.
He made straight for Seri, touching his nose to her arm in greeting.
“See? Even Brumous agrees you need to recover more first,” Zane said around a mouthful of eggs. “Look at him. Hardly recovered himself.”
The pup blinked up at Seri with those bright blue eyes, then turned toward Zane with an expression that clearly questioned his logic.
“Don’t give me that look, Brumster. You’re still too skinny.” Zane waved his fork at Seri. “Listen, bunny, we’ve been hunting supernatural beasties since you were in middle school. We’ve got this whole ‘not dying’ thing down to a science.”
“What we do is dangerous,” Cas added. “These aren’t just pests we’re dealing with. The things we hunt—”
“Kill people,” Zane cut in, now buttering his toast with unnecessary vigor. “Violently. Messily.”
“And they would particularly enjoy killing a lunar witch,” Cas continued. “You’re rare. A valuable commodity on the right market as well as an immediate target—”
“Far more valuable to us, of course,” I hurried to add over his tactlessness. “Our greatest treasure.”
Her eyes widened, a blush creeping across her pale cheeks. Compliments still caught her off guard. What Arabesque and those stepsisters had done to her…
The butter knife in my hand bent, and I forced my fingers to relax before I snapped it in half.
“You are staying here,” Cas declared, his voice dropping into that leadership cadence he used when closing a debate.
I watched as something glittered behind her eyes. Not surrender or resentment, but reassessment. The slight tilt of her head told me she was formulating a new approach. It both worried and impressed me how quickly she’d learned to navigate our dynamics, finding the cracks in our united front.
“I’m not asking to fight. Just to help.”
“Seri,” I started, but the words caught in my throat.
How could I explain the ice that formed in my veins at the thought of her facing down danger while she had no real defense?
That Cas still checked her pulse at odd intervals because Amabel’s illusion had convinced him she was dead?
That Zane, fucking Zane, had cried the day we found her, broken and bruised and bleeding in the driveway?
That we’d already started intercepting ‘small torments’ from Arabesque, as Foster had promised she’d send?
We haven’t even told her about that yet, I reminded myself grimly as I thought of the gold pocket watch we’d received in the mail yesterday, ‘To Jonathan with love from Jocelyn’ inscribed on the back. Not to mention that Rasputin is dead.
Cas had wanted to find that damn goat to restore something of her mama to Seri, and now it wasn’t an option anymore.
We weren’t keeping it a secret from our beloved because we didn’t trust her or thought she was weak. We simply couldn’t bring ourselves to break her heart, to see her wilt with sorrow, to be brought to our knees by her tears…
“Your safety isn’t negotiable,” I finally said.
“Please.” Her voice went small and fierce, and Brumous whined and wedged tighter against her legs. “You can’t keep treating me like some blown-glass ornament that’ll shatter if—”
“More like a hand grenade with the pin half-out,” Zane snorted.
“I do not enjoy denying you anything, Serafina, but the answer will remain no until you’re medically and magically cleared and trained for field work.” Cas set down his fork with deliberate care. “However, if it would please you, we can discuss parameters for when that time arrives.”
“Yeah, parameters. Like you stay in the car,” Zane muttered, jabbing at his ham. “With the doors locked. And a protection circle. And maybe in a different zip code.”
“I’ll take those parameters under advisement, Zoodle,” she said, a phrase she’d clearly picked up from Cas, and my lips twitched.
She raised her free hand over the table. Her slender fingers stretched and curled, and for a heartbeat, I saw it. The faintest shimmer in the air, moonlight where it shouldn’t be. The effort cost her; a tremor ran through her, and the light flickered out like a candle in the wind.
“See?” she said, breathless. “Coming back already.”
But pallor washed over her face, and she rubbed her breastbone with a grimace. I caught her elbow as she swayed, her collarbones still razor sharp beneath Cas’ cashmere sweater.
“You’re shaking.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my side.
“Dark take it, Seri!” Cas barked. “You know you shouldn’t do that! Using your magic before your reservoir refills only slows the process! You’re draining yourself over and over for no reason!”
She flinched at his volume, and I saw his immediate regret at both words and tone.
“We just want you safe and healthy,” I said.
“I know, but I want to feel useful. I need to feel like more than just something to be protected.” She turned to another page in her notebook, this one with skillful caricatures of each of us, Brumous included, in the margins. “I made a list of ways I could contribute without being in danger.”
“Such as?” Cas rumbled.
“Surveillance.” She tapped the first bullet point, a silver star sticker. “I could use shadow walk to scout ahead.”
“The same shadow walk you’ve used exactly one time, accidentally at that, since we found you?” Zane’s voice might have sounded casual, but Cas and I knew better. “The same shadow walk that knocked you unconscious afterwards?”
“I could stay in the SUV and monitor communications.”
“And if something attacked the SUV?” Cas asked.
“I could help research. Investigate things you recover or look up details about a target before you go hunting.”
“You already are,” I pointed out. “From the lab. Doing a damn good job of it, too.”
“Baby, we’re not saying never.” Zane broke into deadass sincerity as her bottom lip quivered and her eyes glossed over. “We’re saying not until you’re ready. We’re the experts at this. Trust us to know when you’re ready, and it’s not today.”
“How about we see what happens at the next full moon?” I suggested a compromise. “If your magic stabilizes by then, we can discuss a limited role on a low-risk hunt. We could also adjust the wards for you to practice shadow walking in and out of Evermere. Would you like that?”
As she considered it, turning the pencil over in her fingers, Cas opened his mouth to refuse, but I caught his eye. Give her something. His lips pinched, but he dipped his chin in a tiny nod.
“But only if you promise not to access your magic until it’s fully restored,” he relented.
“That means no shadow walking.” Zane shook his finger at her. “Not even accidentally.”
Her smile blossomed, lighting her entire face, and my shoulders relaxed. Her happiness was worth any risk, any compromise.
“Deal,” she said, scribbling furiously in her notebook. “No unsupervised magic or practicing shadow travel until the next full moon.” She looked up at us through her lashes. “Then reassess.”
The qualifier was there like a storm warning. I knew that look in her eyes, the one that said she’d already started planning her next move…
Which she’d just made, I realized now.
Clever girl. A smile pulled at my lips as I went over to rescue Zane from Brumous. Our clever, clever girl.