Chapter 21 #3
To him, she was his miracle of miracles, the light in a darkness he’d never thought would end.
I kept getting glimpses of his memories: Arabesque’s cold eyes, the searing pain, the crushing loneliness of a pack animal denied any connection, and then Seri.
Finding him, feeding him scraps, whispering kind words even as she herself was being drained and abused.
It was the same damned look I saw in the Cimmerians’ eyes when they stared at her.
Like she was the moon and the stars and everything in between.
Like they would gladly bleed themselves dry if she so much as hinted that it would make her happy.
Three of the most dangerous supernatural beings I’d ever encountered, men who had built their reputation on blood, rendered soft-eyed and gentle by a fragile-looking witchling.
Almost made a man want to eat a silver bullet.
Protect them.
The voice that spoke in my head wasn’t Brums. It was deeper, rougher, achingly familiar despite years of silence.
Greisen?
Greisen. My wolf. My other half. My brother in soul who’d been nearly comatose since the night…
After more than a decade of silence, of an absence so complete it was like missing a limb, my wolf had spoken. Two words, raspy with disuse, but undeniably real. The hollowness that had lived inside me for so long suddenly had an echo in it, a whisper of what once was and what might be again.
Protect them.
Just two words, but Moon Mother have mercy, it brought fucking tears to my eyes. I ducked my head, trying to hide the sudden moisture, but I couldn’t contain the small, choked sound that escaped my throat.
“Foster?” Seri’s voice cut through my shock. “What is it? Are you okay? Did that fire flare up again somewhere?”
I shook my head and roughly rubbed my knuckles under my eyes, trying to hide the emotion that had to be plain on my face.
Twelve years. Twelve years of silence, of half-living, of being broken in the most fundamental way a werewolf could be broken.
And now, with two simple words, a crack in that wall of silence.
“ ’M fine,” I managed. “Just processing.”
She wasn’t buying it, though.
“What happened?” she asked as Brums came over and pressed against her so tightly, it was hard to tell where she ended and he began. “You looked like you’re in pain.”
Koa, Moon Mother bless his soul, stepped in before I could embarrass myself further.
“It will take time to emotionally regulate after a near-death experience. The body heals before the mind sometimes.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, grateful for the lifeline. “Let’s go with that.”
Seri’s face softened with understanding, but I could tell she wasn’t convinced. Still, she didn’t push further, which I appreciated more than she could know.
I wasn’t ready to explain about Greisen. I wasn’t ready to talk about how my wolf had been present but unreachable, like he was trapped behind a wall of ice I couldn’t break through.
Protect them.
I didn’t know who Greisen meant specifically.
Seri and Brumous? The Cimmerians? All of them?
But it didn’t matter who specifically. He was a protector at heart; all alpha wolves were unless they were feral or insane.
And if playing bodyguard to this weird little family could help bring him back to me, then I sure as hell wasn’t going to say no.
As the brothers turned the conversation to their upcoming hunt, Seri stayed by my side, and I realized I hadn’t thanked her for pulling my furry ass out of Hell itself.
Grabbing one teeny hand in my rough one, I held it as I stared down at her, trying to find the right words.
“I never thanked you,” I mumbled awkwardly. “For coming for me. For getting me out of there. For keeping me alive.”
Her big doe-eyes stared up at me for a moment, then a wide grin broke across her face and she threw her arms around me as far as they could go, which wasn’t very far. The hug was quick, fierce, and so honestly affectionate that it left me too stunned to even reciprocate.
“You’d have done the same,” she said with a certainty that humbled me, because I wasn’t entirely sure I would have. Not before today, anyway.
Something was screaming at me to leave, to go, to run, before she could dig in any deeper, bring out any more softness, make me believe I could want things again.
Caring was pointless because no one stuck around.
I was better off alone, but dammit! These people just weren’t letting me stay detached!
“I see you, Foster,” Seri went on in a whisper. “You act like you don’t care, but if that were true, you’d have left already.”
Her words were like smoke after gunfire, impossible to ignore and too dangerous to breathe in. Too long without pack bonds had left my senses raw as open wounds, and her kindness felt like salt in the gash.
“You don’t know shit about me,” I rasped, but the protest rang hollow even to my own ears. Her eyes held that infuriating kindness again, the type that slipped into all my fractures like mist through chainmail.
“Watch how you speak to our wife,” Cas snapped.
“Yeah, Fozzy Wozzie.” Zane’s chair creaked as he leaned back, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Better be careful. She’s got this creepy way of being right about people.”
The laugh burst out of me, bitter and startled, as I scrubbed a hand over my face. Cas watched from across the room with that unnerving stillness, but his eyes flicked to Ko, then Z. No doubt some silent brotherly debate about whether I was worth the headache.
“Stay with us after this is over,” Seri murmured, and the thought made something hot and frantic claw up my throat. “We have plenty of space here. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
Memory stirred in that long-frozen corner of my soul. The phantom weight of a pack at my back during midnight runs. The ache of bonds severed too brutally to ever fully heal.
“I’m not built for staying,” I groused more to myself than her.
“You could be,” she insisted.
And damn if I didn’t almost believe her.
There was steel beneath this witch’s gentle exterior, and I was beginning to understand what the Cimmerians saw in her beyond her obvious beauty. She had the kind of quiet courage that didn’t announce itself, but never faltered when tested.
No wonder they were all so protective of her. Three lethal dhampirs with bloodstained hands and traumatic pasts and a broken dire wolf pup who’d suffered more than he’d lived, all being stitched together by this tiny woman with nothing but stubbornness and love and hope.
Greisen’s growl rattled through my bones. Not in warning, but in agreement. Although he spoke no words, I heard what he was saying. Running, surviving, it wasn’t enough anymore.
Maybe…
Maybe this time, I could stay.