Chapter 51 Kai
Kai
As soon as I hear the garage open, I grab Amari’s hand and lead her off the couch to stand in front of the kitchen.
“Here she comes,” I whisper to Amari. We both stand, waiting for Blakely to walk in from the garage and see us in matching pajamas.
Amari's smile is so big. She’s so excited for this tradition.
She doesn’t remember the tradition started when she was a baby.
B never did it again after I ruined it the first time.
B walks in, wide-eyed, startled at us standing in front of her. “What are you guys wearing?”
“Matching pajamas.” Amari walks to her with her set in hand. “This one is yours.”
B’s mouth drops as she gazes between her set of pajamas and the two of us already in them.
This was a hard surprise because I had no clue what to pick out or where to go.
I went one day on my lunch break, to Target of all places, because a lot of men at my work talk about their wives running errands. Turns out they just go to Target.
When I walked in, all I saw were women with coffee in hand and baskets filled to the top with clothes It was awkward walking around the women’s section. To my surprise, no one paid attention to me.
“Do you like it?” I ask as B walks down the stairs. I bought all three of us red-and-black checkered pants and black long-sleeve shirts with Santa’s face in the middle. It’s the best I could do, given it was last minute, and a lot of the racks were bare.
“I love it.” She kisses me on the lips, pulling me into a hug. “Do you like them?” she asks Amari.
"Yeah, why haven’t we done this every year?” Amari asks, glancing at us.
Blakely and I lock eyes with each other, knowing that this wasn’t our first time doing it. To my surprise, she says, “We’ll keep this as our family tradition each Christmas Eve.”
I didn’t know if she would out me or not. Who am I kidding? I should have known she wouldn’t. She’s not that kind of person. She always made Amari see the best in me. Never telling her my wrongdoings. “Thank you,” I whisper into her ear. She nods, knowing exactly what I’m thanking her for.
“So, what are we watching?” She sees Netflix on the screen.
“How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” Amari says, swinging her legs while she sits on the couch.
Blakely squints in confusion. Does she remember that was the movie she watched that night on Christmas Eve?
“Let me make us some popcorn,” B says and heads to the kitchen. I follow behind her. After the hum of the microwave starts, she turns to me and whispers, “Do you remember that’s what we watched?”
I don’t have to question what she means by that. I know she’s asking about that night. One of the many nights I messed up. “Yes.”
“You remembered?” she asks in a surprised tone.
“Of course.” I pause for a second. "Well, when I sat down for those few minutes and watched it, I wasn’t paying attention to what was on, because…Well, you know. But you left the DVD in the DVD player. I figured that’s what was on.”
Her eyes widen in disbelief, and her mouth falls slightly open. “I didn’t think you remembered all this.”
“I know I wasn’t always around, and when I was around, I wasn’t present. But I noticed more than I let on. Everything you did just fed more guilt to me, since I kept messing everything up. So I pretended like I didn’t catch on to anything.”
She wraps her arms around my midsection, resting her head against my chest. "Kai, you surprise me every day.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Good, because I waited years to replay this night for you and Amari.”
“Come on, guys!” Amari yells. “The popcorn has been done popping for a while now.”
We both whip around to Amari as she shouts from the living room.
“Coming!” B yells.
I take a seat next to Amari as Blakely places the popcorn bowl on my lap.
Amari reaches in, grabs a handful, and eats the popcorn piece by piece.
I wrap my arms around her shoulder as she rests her head against the side of my chest. I glance over at B as she eats the popcorn off her palm, in sync with Amari.
My girls’ radiant smiles bring me immense happiness as I see them enjoying themselves.
If you asked me if waiting this long was worth it, I would say yes.
A million times, yes. Every heartache, every sleepless night, every challenge we faced, every uncertainty—it was all worth it.
There is no amount of time that would ever not be worth waiting for my girls.
They have my heart as I have theirs. Their love is the only thing I need in this world.
The only thing that keeps me going and keeps me strong.
I glance over at B and kiss her on the side of her head. I can now say I healed a heart that I once scarred.
This is it.
This is all I ever wanted.
All I ever needed.
My forever and ever.