Chapter Seven #2
“Come in. Sit down,” he said as he ushered me inside and helped me out of my coat. “What’s going on?” I looked around the space. It was clear only a man lived here. There was a massive TV, one couch, and no pillows. Something in me loved that fact.
“Sorry to just show up,” I said as I took a seat on the couch. “I didn’t know where else to go.” I fidgeted with my coat zipper, trying to decide where to start. “I left Bill. A while ago, actually.” I decided I needed to set my story up so he would understand.
He sat down near me on the small couch. He turned towards me with his arm slung over the back behind me. I wanted to curl into the opening this left.
“About fucking time. Guy’s an asshole. Have I told you that yet?
” Anders interrupted me with what was probably the most perfect thing he could have said at that moment.
It cut through the tension building in me.
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me at that.
I turned towards him, loosening up a little at the familiarity of that sentiment.
“Yes,” I said with a small smile, “you’ve told me.
I think in your very first letter, and every letter after that.
” I rolled my eyes but kept smiling. “Anyway, things have been — difficult — but in a good way, you know? I went no contact with my parents shortly after. Just like I knew they would, they took Bill’s side in the divorce.
I got a job with an accountant and live in a tiny studio apartment above his office.
” My situation didn’t embarrass me, but I still worried about what people would think.
That wasn’t an easy habit to break. “It’s my place,” I said firmly.
I don’t know who I was trying to convince.
“And I get to do whatever I want with it.”
He didn’t respond and just let me talk. His eyes never left me and little zings of electricity ran through me at his undivided attention.
“Frankly,” I said a little more boldly than I had been speaking earlier, “I wish I would have done it earlier. It’s been very freeing not having to answer to him or deal with his anger or worry about his neglect or all the little things that used to set me on edge and wear away at my being.
” The words rushed out of me. It was so much more than I planned on telling him, but it had always been easy to tell him things.
Even before I sat here with his eyes on me.
My smile grew, and I thought about my little place.
The grime that coated the bathroom and cobwebs that inhabited the rest of the space were long gone, and I had filled the space with a table and even a small couch.
I put fresh flowers on the table every week and loved the soft, colorful look of them when I had come home from work every night.
“I’m glad to hear it.” The sincerity in his voice warmed me, adding to the lingering warmth from his hug. Heat spread through me. Ugh, I wasn’t here for a crush. Get it together, Grace.
“So, what do you need my help with?” He shifted on the small couch as he said this, and it took me a moment to pull my focus away from the brush of his knee on mine.
“Oh,” I said, momentarily dumb. Again. “Yesterday, while I was at the shop, two men stood outside. They looked so familiar, but I couldn’t place them at the time.
” I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the rest of my story.
“They just stood there, staring at me as I practically ran home. I thought I was safe.” I took another breath, squeezing my hands into a fist, trying to stop their shaking.
“I remembered this morning where I recognized them from. They came into my work recently, asking all kinds of bizarre questions. I didn’t think too much about it, it’s not usual, and they left easily enough when Mr. Jones stepped out and spoke to them.
Then this morning, I found this under my door. ”
I pulled out the envelope I had stashed in my coat, which sat perched on my lap to avoid getting his furniture wet. Certain niceties would never leave me. My hands shook as I handed him a photo of my by with a target placed squarely on my his chest.
Mr. Jones was a kind old man, and he had been so generous with me when I left Bill and in the months since. He’s become like another grandparent in my time working for him. He filled a hole in my life that I didn’t even know I had. I couldn’t bear to lose him, too.
“The photo was specifically slid under my apartment door, and not the business door. You have to go up the stairs and know which door is mine to get to it,” I clarified as he looked at the photo.
“I take it this man is someone important to you?” He asked, and I realized I hadn’t even told him who it was.
“Yes,” I said, my voice shaking, “It’s my boss, Mr. Jones. He’s been so good to me.”
“Was there anything else with it?” He had switched to a firm and commanding voice that would intimidate anyone. He had straightened up, and I mourned the loss of his knee against mine. I didn’t realize how much that small point of contact calmed me.
“No. That was it,” I said, anxiety creeping back in.
“What did the guys say when they came into your work?” He asked as he turned back to me again. His knee pressed against mine. He didn’t even seem to notice it, but the contact calmed me. That was bad news. I didn’t need to associate him with safety.
“I don’t know,” I said. “They kept asking about money and some trust.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“That’s why I thought it was about Mr. Jones.
He is an accountant and deals with these kinds of things all the time.
The only reason I thought it was suspicious at the time was because people don’t really walk in without an appointment.
Accounting isn’t really that kind of business.
They didn’t even ask to see Mr. Jones before the questions began. ”
I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, maintaining that small point of contact between our knees. I wished I had paid more attention to what they were saying.
He nodded as I explained what had happened. “Are you sure this is about you? I don’t mean to question your thoughts, but this photo doesn’t even have you in it and your boss deals with all kinds of accounts. Is it possible that they slid it under your door thinking he lived there?”
His knee still pressed against mine and I didn’t second-guess myself.
“They were watching me before they slid it under the door. They would have seen me go up into the apartment. I don’t think they made a mistake.” The conviction in my voice surprised me.
“Why would they threaten your boss if the message was to you?” He pressed me for answers I didn’t have, but his knee stayed against mine, anchoring me.
“We are very close. He’s like a grandfather to me.” Despite my anchor, my voice sounded small, barely more than a whisper. He was right. None of this made any sense.
“Why wouldn’t you go to the police?” I sunk further into the couch with every question out of Anders’s mouth. A pit had opened up in my stomach and swallowed my insides. Maybe it would swallow all of me instead of just my heart.
“Bill has contacts in the Savannah police department.” I had to fight to get the word out now.
“I try to avoid them as much as possible. I don’t even speed for fear of the wrong officer pulling me over and knowing who I am.
I just can’t risk him knowing where I live.
” My breathing became unsteady. “Which is stupid, I know, because he’s never even hit me.
I don’t know why I went from disliking him to fearing him.
He just wouldn’t stop calling me and he hasn’t even signed the divorce papers, and he keeps trying to get a hold of me through my cousin and—” I stopped myself.
Anders didn’t ask about my divorce. He doesn’t want to know about all this.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
So much for that contact anchoring me against anxiety. His large, grease-stained hand came down heavy and warm on my knee. The same knee that pressed against him. His thumb ran soothing circles ignited my blood and making me achingly aware of that touch.
“It’s alright, Grace. I just need to know how to best help you.” He abandoned his marine voice, opting for a gentler one. The firm staccato had smoothed out, the register of it dipped lower, just a little. I swallowed hard at the contact and dip in his now silky voice.
After a moment to gather myself, I tried again.
“Maybe I’m being paranoid, or maybe this is a prank of some kind.
Though, I don’t know why someone would choose this as a prank, or prank me of all people with it.
” I closed my eyes for a moment before continuing.
“I do know that I’m scared. I also know that if anything happened to Mr. Jones, all my freedom would be gone and I would be well and truly screwed.
Whoever is threatening me must know that. ”
Someone threatened me. I swallowed hard at that thought.
“Jessica was the only person I could count on, she’s my cousin, but she’s out of town and I haven’t heard from her since she left.
I don’t know anyone else I can trust. I don’t know if anyone else in my life is real.
Except you. I thought you might be real.
” I said that last part a bit too desperately.
My need for him to be the man I imagined him to be bled through my voice despite my best efforts.
“So I came here. I heard you cussing before I even knocked on the door. I knew right then that you were exactly who I thought you were. Or maybe just who I hoped you were. I guess.”
I looked into his eyes then. I had been afraid of seeing what he thought, but now that was all that was left to do. I couldn’t avoid it. He didn’t look angry, or disbelieving, or any of the things I had feared would happen. He looked kind.
“I’m real, sweetheart. I believe you. I’ll help.
” Relief flooded me, instantly relaxing my shoulders and clearing the dark clouds gathering in my mind.
Tears pricked my eyes, threatening to fall.
Anders leaned forward. My heart sped up a little as he came closer.
Was I going to get another hug? I hoped I would.
I really wanted a hug right now. He maintained eye contact until the last second, before he reached over to grab a drink from the coffee table.
I hadn’t even noticed he had a drink there before.
Foolish. Of course. Of course, he was reaching for a drink. I sunk into the couch in shame.