Chapter 2
two
Jaclyn
I don’t know what I expected when security led me from the terminal onto the tarmac at San Francisco International Airport. When Mr. Snyder explained that the Gallants had sent a private plane, I imagined one of those small ones with six seats like you see on TV.
It wasn’t a small plane that was waiting for me, though.
The blue-and-gold plane was sleek, with the JNG logo painted on the side.
Mostly, it was huge. I couldn’t figure out why they’d send this just for me.
A regular flight would have been fine. Well, not really, since I didn’t want to fly anywhere, but it would have worked and been cheaper, too.
A slim, blonde-haired woman wearing a uniform waits at the bottom of the steps.
As we stop at the bottom of the stairs, the security guard hands her my boarding paperwork and government ID.
Then he says, “Have a good day,” and walks off.
Yeah, that isn’t happening. I wish more than anything I could time-travel and go back to last week and never, ever, ever send that fucking email.
I don’t have a driver’s license, but my ID worked just as well.
Cheri knows more about this than I do. She used to fly all the time with her family and had to deal with the whole ID situation.
I’m glad I listened to her. Not only did I need it today, but I needed it to get my job at JNG.
My birth certificate works for most things, but this is a lot easier.
“Ms. Tanner? Just up the stairs, and then you can pick a seat.”
For a few heartbeats, I stare at her, gripping the suitcase and my purse as if my life depends on it.
“I’ll take your bag.” She’s smiling as she reaches for my suitcase. “If you could hurry, the pilot has to stick to the flight schedule.”
It’s the nudge I need to shake me out of my stupor. What the hell is wrong with me today? Oh yeah, I’m terrified, and not just of losing my job, but of getting into the flying tin can.
“I…sorry, thank you.” I roll the suitcase toward her, then make my way up the stairs. As I step through the door of the plane, I stop again. What the hell? This doesn’t look like any plane I’ve ever seen. It’s a flying living room—couches and all.
“You can sit anywhere you’d like. Just buckle up so we can depart. I’ll get you a drink after we reach cruising altitude.”
When I don’t respond again, she gently touches my shoulder. “First time flying?”
“Yes,” I whisper, afraid to admit it as if it is a horrible secret or something.
“No worries. It will be fine. And Paul, the pilot, is wonderful. Just relax, everything will be fine. I promise.”
I nod and walk further down the aisle. “I can sit anywhere?” I ask. It doesn’t seem right. Isn’t there some place with regular chairs and heavy-duty seatbelts to strap me in?
“Wherever you’ll be comfortable. By the way, my name is Laura. Just call if you need anything. As soon as we level off, you’ll be able to get up and walk around. The captain will announce it,” she explains with another smile.
She stows my bag in a cabinet. I sit at one of the four-person tables and pull the seatbelt tight across my lap, like this is going to save me if the plane goes down. Are they crazy?
“We’ll be taking off shortly. You’ll be fine,” she says one more time, then knocks on the cockpit door and speaks to the pilot.
Is there a co-pilot, too? Or just one? What if he has a heart attack and dies? Who will fly the plane? Does Laura know how? I mean, sure, there’s autopilot, but that won’t really fly this pretty tin can, will it?
My vision narrows as the plane starts to move. Shit. I’m going to die. I just know it. I’ll never see Cheri again. Tears cloud my vision, and I gulp past the clog in my throat. I’m clenching the armrest so tightly, my knuckles turn white.
Holy hell. The plane speeds up, and the images outside the window are blurry. Then we tilt up as we take off. “Fuck,” I whisper, and squeeze my eyes closed.
I don’t know how much time passes before Laura says next to me, “Ms. Tanner? Are you okay?”
“Umm, yeah. Fine.” I open my eyes and squint at her. When I glance at the window across from me, all I see are clouds. Fuck. We’re high, so damn high.
“Would you like a drink? Or a snack?” she asks gently.
“I don’t think so. Or maybe just a water, please. How much is it?” I pull my purse to my front. I never took it off before I buckled in, and the strap is still across my chest.
“There’s no charge. You can have anything you want. I have all kinds of snacks. I can make you coffee, tea, or bring you anything from the bar.”
“Oh.” That’s all I say. How stupid am I? It’s a private plane, of course there’s no charge. “Just water is fine, thank you.”
I lean back in the seat, trying to ease the tension pulsing in my shoulders, but I can’t loosen my grip on the armrest.
Laura returns a few moments later with a water bottle, a little cocktail napkin, and a glass with ice. After she opens the bottle, she pours the water for me. “Would you like a slice of lemon or lime?”
“This is fine, I appreciate it.”
“If there’s anything you need, just let me know. I’ll check back with you soon.”
“Wait, can you tell me how long till we get there?”
“It’s usually about a four-hour flight. If we have a tailwind, sometimes it’s a bit quicker.”
“Thank you.” I take a deep breath in and let it out.
Then open my purse and take out the Valium that Cheri pushed into my hand before I left.
She had it left over from her wisdom tooth surgery last summer.
She said to take it if I got too stressed, that it would calm me down.
I guess we’ll see how well it works because I can’t stay like this for the next four hours.
I’ll have a heart attack before we land.
After popping the pill into my mouth, I swallow it with the water and then pull out my phone. Am I allowed to use it? Will it make the plane crash? Didn’t I read something about that a few years ago?
“Excuse me, Laura?”
“Yes, Ms. Tanner.”
“Please just call me Jackie. I was wondering, can I use my phone?”
“Yes, Jackie. You can use your phone. Do you need the Wi-Fi password?”
“There’s Wi-Fi on here?”
“Oh yes, the Gallants wouldn’t travel without it.”
“Of course. But I should be good. Thank you, though.”
Me: We’re in the air. I’m freaking out.
Cheri: Did you take the pill?
Me: Do dogs bark? Yeah, I took it.
Cheri: It takes about a half hour to work. You should start feeling calmer soon.
Me: I hope so. My fingernails are going to leave permanent indentations in these armrests.
Cheri:
What the fuck? She thinks I’m kidding?
Me: I’m not kidding.
Cheri: Oops! Sorry, Jac. Tell me about the plane. Is it one of those tiny six-seaters?
Me: Nope. You’d love it. It’s huge. There are couches and a flight attendant and everything.
Cheri: So why are you so nervous?
Me: I’m alone on this huge plane with just the pilots and maybe a co-pilot, and Laura the flight attendant. What if something happens to the pilot? Who the fuck will fly this metal box?
Cheri: Shit, girl. You need to calm down. Seriously. I used to fly all the time. It’s safer than driving.
Me: Yeah, well. I don’t do that either, remember?
Cheri: One of these days, we’re going to fix that.
Me: No, thank you. I’m perfectly happy taking mass transit.
Cheri: Whatevs. You took the pill, so don’t drink.
Me: Yes, Mom. I wasn’t going to. I’d probably vomit. I might do that anyway.
Cheri: Just give the pill a chance to work. You’ll feel better soon.
Me: I hope you’re right.
Cheri: You’re going to call me when you get there, right?
Me: That’s the plan. Unless I don’t have any service. They live out in the middle of nowhere. I don’t even know where exactly.
Cheri: I thought you knew?
Me: Why would I? It’s not like employees ever go there. Until now. Why did I have to be the first one?
Cheri: Maybe he wants to give you a promotion for figuring out an issue? Did you ever think of that? Not everything is negative.
Me: This is my life we’re talking about. Remember?
Cheri: Do I need to figure out where you will be and show up there? You definitely need your ass kicked. And if those sexy Gallant brothers try anything, I’ll threaten them with my family.
The pill must be working. I’m sitting here giggling as I reread that text. Oh yeah, just what we’d need: the mafia and the Gallants. I wonder who would win. Not that I believe the Gallants are doing anything nefarious, but they are billionaires, so who knows? Right.
Yawning, I realize I’m not gripping the armrest like my life depends on it anymore.
I feel kind of floaty or something. Is this why people do drugs?
Losing control doesn’t appeal to me unless it’s in bed with a Dominant.
Not that I’ve ever found one—I think they’re like unicorns.
They’re in books, but no one has ever met one in real life.
The one guy I dated in college was a loser. He couldn’t find my clit with a map.
Me: I’m tired.
Cheri: Good. Means the pill is working. Get some sleep if you can.
Me: I’ll try. Thank you, Cher, I don’t know what I’d do without you.
Cheri: Good thing you’ll never find out. Love you, Jac.
Me:
I really don’t know what I’d do without her.
She’s the only person I’ve had in my corner—ever.
My mother was usually too high to remember she had a daughter.
When the social worker picked me up from school, I figured it would be another trip to visit her in the hospital.
But nope. It was to take me to my new home.
Foster care isn’t all bad, but it’s not good, either.
When I met Cheri during freshman year at UCLA, she was the first person who actually cared about my happiness.