Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Sam hit the dirt when he was tackled from behind. He spun around and tossed his asshole brother aside. This time, Az landed on his feet, and his bones stayed in place, mostly.
“You can’t kill them!” Az shouted.
Sam’s brows rose. “Since when do you care?”
“Since I fell!” Az ran a hand through his hair. “This isn’t right! Dammit, you can’t! ”
The fire hadn’t touched anyone. Not yet.
“He can,” another voice said, this one strong and deep and coming from the shadows near him, “but he won’t.”
An oh-shit expression crossed Az’s face, and Sam knew his brother recognized that voice, too.
It was a voice most heard in their nightmares because this angel, he wasn’t there to comfort you. Not to give you a message. Not to guard you or protect you from the monsters in the world.
Uriel was the leader of the punishment angels. If the stories were true, he’d once been at the right hand of God, but a few centuries back, he’d been put in charge of the darker angels. He came after only the worst of the worst, and his punishments had been known to make the devil weep with envy.
His wings curled behind him as Uriel stepped from the darkness. He stared at Sam, and he shook his head. “Sammael, call back your fire.”
The fire whipped through the streets, snaking long and hard, then rising high, so high. It hadn’t touched the flesh of anyone, but it could. All it would take was one thought, and they’d ignite.
“Is this what she would want you to do?” Uriel questioned.
In an instant, Sam had the bastard by his black T-shirt. And since when did Uriel wear a torn T-shirt and jeans? “You’ve seen her?”
Uriel nodded. “She’s one of mine.”
“No,” Sam snarled, choking on rage. “She’s mine. ”
Az closed in on them. “Are you serious? Seline’s an angel?”
Uriel didn’t look particularly concerned about the fire or the tight grip that Sam had on him. But, what was new? Uriel was never concerned. That’s why he was good at his job.
And those punishment angels who weren’t so good—they wound up like Rogziel.
“Sometimes angels walk on earth. Mistakes are made. They have to be called home.” Uriel inclined his head toward Sam. “Thank you for taking care of Rogziel. He’d become a nuisance.”
What the fuck? “Take care of your own garbage next time.”
“That’s not the way it works.”
“How do you know?” Sam fired back. “Have you ever actually asked?”
Uriel’s eyes narrowed. “Rogziel received his punishment.”
“Yeah, no thanks to you!” Sam dropped his hold on the angel. “What? Did you want me to do your dirty work for you? And here I thought you enjoyed the punishment.”
He’d hoped the words would crack Uriel’s icy facade. They didn’t work. Because that wasn’t a facade. It was just Uriel.
“You know the rules.” Uriel shrugged. “No angel can kill another. Not without earning damnation.” He brushed off his T-shirt. “We didn’t just want Rogziel to suffer. We wanted him destroyed.”
And so he had been. “And the Fallen who got taken out along the way?”
“A Fallen was the only one who had a chance of fighting him.”
Ah, right. Since they’d fallen and lost their wings, they weren’t exactly angelic any longer so that whole rule about one angel not killing another wasn’t technically in play. Angels hadn’t just learned to twist the truth over the centuries. They’d learned to twist the entire world.
“Unfortunately,” Uriel sighed, “the first few Fallen he found weren’t strong enough for the job.”
“Very unfortunate,” Az echoed, but there was emotion in his voice. Now that Az was on earth, he was sure picking up the human ways fast.
I like him better this way. Az wasn’t quite as much of a dick.
“But the job is done now.” Uriel leveled his stare back at Sam. “It’s time for you to move on.”
No. “I want to see Seline.”
Uriel’s brow furrowed. “And I do what you want because…?”
“Because if you don’t, I will light this whole town on fire.” He smiled, showing lots of teeth. “I don’t have anything to lose. I’ll burn. I’ll fight.” Sam pulled out the claw that was still stained with an angel’s blood. “And I’ll kill.”
Uriel’s gaze dropped to the weapon. “You’re actually threatening me ?” Now there was emotion in his voice and on his face. Shock.
“I killed one angel.” Sam shrugged, then yanked out the bottle he’d gotten from Mateo. Smart-ass witch. Mateo had no doubt seen this coming. No wonder he’d made sure Sam had a good stock of the holding powder. The bottle exploded, and the white smoke sprang up around Uriel, trapping him just as it had trapped Rogziel. “How much harder can it be to take out another?”
Uriel’s jaw dropped. He slammed his hands against the invisible wall that bound him in place.
“I don’t think he realized that was coming,” Az murmured.
“Angels.” Sam shook his head. “Sometimes, they’re just too damn cocky. Just because they’re high up on the food chain, it doesn’t mean they can’t still get eaten.”
Uriel screamed. No, he roared, and his wings slammed into his crystal-clear prison.
“When you calm down…” The area was deserted now. Smart Other had fled. “We’ll talk, and then you’ll bring me Seline.” Sam shrugged. “Or I’ll cut off your wings.”
Seline was walking through a cloud of—well, a cloud. Everything was beautiful. Gorgeous. But there were only other angels around, and, even when they were around, they weren’t exactly chatty.
No humans. No shifters. No charmers. Delia had told her that when those beings passed, they went “far beyond the gates.” Yeah, there’d been a bit of yearning in Delia’s words. So when most beings died, they got some sparkly, happily-ever-after paradise. But angels had…
“You have to come with me!”
Seline spun around. Okay, wow, Delia’s wings were all ruffled. “What’s wrong?”
“Sammael.”
Her heart slammed into her chest. “Has something happened to him?”
Delia glanced around, and the angel looked worried. Not good. Delia didn’t worry. “If you don’t stop him, something exceedingly bad will happen.”
“Then why are we standing here?” Seline yelled as her own feathers ruffled. “Get me to?—”
Delia grabbed her hand and yanked her right off the cloud. They fell fast and hard toward earth. More clouds whipped around them, and Seline could just make out a sea of blue and the thick darkness of land and?—
“Use your wings!”
Oh, crap, right. Seline started flapping.
Delia didn’t let go of her hand. The angel flew forward, not down, and Seline struggled to keep up with her.
The air was cold on her face. It felt like raindrops were stinging her skin. Faster, faster, they went. Their surroundings blurred. She lost track of time. And then…
Darkness.
Her feet hit the ground.
“Seline?”
Broken, rough, Sam. Her eyes opened. He was there. Tall, strong, but with hollowed cheeks and wild, shadowed eyes. Pain etched deep lines on his face. She hurried toward him, and heard someone—Az?—mutter, “Wings…” from her side. She didn’t look his way because she couldn’t look away from Sam.
Her fingers trembled when she touched Sam’s face.
“I dreamed about you,” he whispered.
She tried to smile. Couldn’t. “And I dreamed about you.” Her heart beat so fast she hurt.
“I tried to save you.” Gruff. Seemingly torn from him.
She shoved back the memory of fear and pain and of his eyes—on hers. Afraid. Angry. Desperate. Seline stood on her toes and kissed him. This wasn’t a dream, he was real now, and she needed to feel his mouth against hers.
His fingers brushed over her wings, and a shiver skated down her body.
“She’s here, now let me out, ” Uriel snarled.
Keeping Seline’s fingers twined with his, Sam stepped back. He kicked away the white powder that circled Uriel.
“What is that?” Uriel demanded. “Nothing should hold us. Nothing. ”
“We can hold each other. Our own powers can lock us in. Bind us. Fucking Angel’s Dust.” Sam exhaled slowly. “The powder is made from angel wings. What the hell do you think happens to the wings and feathers when we fall? They burn, turn to ash and dust, but they keep a glow of our power. The Dust isn’t just used to poison demons. It’s a weapon that we can use against our own kind.”
Seline tightened her fingers around his.
Sam stared at her. “I wanted you to be free.”
And she’d just…wanted him.
“Are you happy?” Sam asked as his gaze searched her face. “Tell me you are, and I’ll just walk away.”
Angels weren’t supposed to lie. She was learning the rules, but not fitting in at all. “I miss you.”
She saw him flinch. Then he inhaled. “Sweetheart, you smell like roses.”
An angel’s scent. Not her, not anymore.
“Roses and paradise.” His lips flattened. “I miss the jasmine.”
Such a simple, small thing. She’d used jasmine body lotion, before.
I never even realized he’d noticed.
Seline felt like she was breaking apart. She wanted to grab him and hold on as tightly as she could. She just needed to know?—
“I love you,” he told her, the words rumbling like a growl. That was what she needed. He pulled her closer. “ I love you. You got to me, Seline, and I can’t—I can’t let you go.”
“You don’t have a choice.” Uriel’s cool voice. The earth trembled beneath them as Uriel left his containment. “You went too far today, Sammael. No one dares to imprison me.”
But Sam didn’t look scared. He should have. He just laughed and didn’t glance at the powerful punishment angel. “For Seline, I’d dare anything or anyone.”
The ground ripped open. Smoke blazed forth, and the heavy scent of brimstone filled the air. Seline didn’t need to hear the heavy growls to know what was coming.
“Time for your punishment, Sammael.” Uriel strode toward the opening he’d made in the earth. “You made a deal with a crossroads spirit. A deal that I’ll make sure you keep, even if he doesn’t.”
Seline saw the claws first, and she shuddered. Her neck seemed to throb and screams wanted to burst from her throat as she remembered death.
Sam pushed her behind him. “It’s okay. I swear, I won’t let him touch you. I swear. ”
“Sammael.” Uriel’s voice boomed. “The prey is Sammael!”
The hound leapt from the ground and hurtled right toward Sammael.
Seline screamed. Az jumped out of the shadows.
And Sam grabbed the beast and broke its neck in one quick twist.
The hound collapsed on the ground.
“Now, now…” Uriel shook his head. “You know it won’t be that easy.”
Thick black hair covered the hound’s body, and a long white streak swiped across its right eye.
Seline stared at the beast and blinked, shocked. Wait, that was?—
My hound?
Uriel had dared to raise her hound to come after Sam? The bastard. Her wings stiffened, then stretched out behind her.
Bones snapped, popped, and the hound slowly shook its head. Then that head tilted back, and Seline saw razor-sharp teeth glinting.
“Don’t worry, Seline,” Uriel told her quietly, “your hound will get your vengeance.”
No, no, it wouldn’t. “I don’t want vengeance against Sam!” Sure, making Rogziel suffer through another very painful death was near the top of her to-do list, but Sam? No. He’d fought to save her. He shouldn’t suffer.
She could still hear his tormented screams in her mind. He’d been so desperate to save her.
The hound launched. Its teeth sank into Sam’s arm.
Sam didn’t make a sound.
“You can’t kill the hound,” Uriel said, and for someone without emotions, the words sure sounded like a taunt.
“We can sure as hell slow the thing down.” Now this was from Azrael. He had a knife in his hands. He jumped forward and drove that knife into the hound’s side.
The beast’s howl… hurt her.
Seline gasped. She saw the hound’s gaze turn to her. It looked lost, confused.
“Sammael,” Uriel snapped.
Seline tried to push toward the hound.
Sam blocked her and turned back to face the beast. The hound slashed him. Deep slashes that cut into his chest. Slashes that came too close to his heart.
Seline shoved Sam out of her way—and, wow, Sam hurtled into the air. She guessed being a punishment angel came with a strength bonus.
The hound stared at her with its mouth open, those deadly teeth dripping blood, and it took all of Seline’s willpower not to turn and run.
Claws at my throat. Teeth slicing. Digging into my skin. Sam! Sam!
Sam was on his feet. He raced toward the hound. The hound dug its paws into the ground and prepared to leap at her Fallen.
“Stop!” Her bellow.
Everyone froze. Everyone, even Uriel.
The hound’s head turned to her. Seline walked toward the beast, one slow step at a time. She held out her hand, and her fingers only trembled a little. “Easy.” Please don’t eat me. Been there, done that, and don’t want to do it again.
The hound lowered its head and whined.
This hound was smaller than the one that had, ah, killed her. Deep scars marked its body. So many wounds. So many deaths.
Was the hound the evil one? Or was it the hound’s master?
The angels think you’re a monster. Trained to attack. But maybe, maybe, the beast could be more.
“Protect.” The word came out stronger than she’d anticipated. Seline lifted her hand, and her fingers didn’t shake any longer. “Protect Sammael,” she ordered her hound. Not prey. “Protect him, always.”
The hound’s head swiveled between her and Sam. “Not prey. Not him,” she said.
The hound eased forward and licked her fingers.
He’s not prey, and you’re more than a monster.
“Good,” she whispered. Because there was good in the hound, she could feel it, struggling against the darkness that seemed to wrap so heavily around the beast.
Right then, the hound almost reminded her of Sam.
Sam who stared at her with the eyes she loved. Black, not angel blue, because that darkness swirled too strongly in him. Always would.
“You can’t do this!” Uriel reached her side and barely glanced at the hound. “Sammael is to be punished for what he did to?—”
Lightning flashed from the sky, and the bolt hit right at Uriel’s feet. The scent of sulfur burned Seline’s nose.
Real emotion appeared on Uriel’s face in that moment. Fear.
“I guess someone is pissing off the boss upstairs,” Sam announced in his mocking drawl. “Because that bolt sure wasn’t aimed at me.”
Eyes wide, Uriel backed away. “One day, Sammael, you will be punished.”
The right side of Sam’s mouth hitched into a sad smile as he stared at Seline. “I already have been. I lost the only thing that made this life worth living.”
But he hadn’t lost her. She was standing right there.
“I can stay with you,” she told him. She didn’t care what Uriel might do. Sam was before her. He mattered. Her hands stroked the hound. Its fur was almost soft, once you got past the matting.
Sam’s lips parted, as if he’d speak, but then he shook his head.
“Sam, I can stay. ” She knew it. Other angels had fallen. He’d fallen. She could do it, too. “We can be together.” He’d said he loved her. They could have forever.
His jaw clenched, and after a moment, he gritted out, “You don’t know what it’s like. The pain…I won’t ask you to suffer for me. I can’t. Never for me, understand? Never. ”
“She’s already died for you once,” Uriel threw in, even as his wings flapped and he began to rise into the air. “What’s a little trip to hell between lovers?”
“No!” Sam snarled. “She won’t suffer anymore!”
Seline felt a pull then, like an energy was wrapping around her and lifting her into the sky. She fought, desperate to stay with Sam, but she couldn’t break free of that strange pull.
“Don’t fall for me!” he shouted up to her, his face stark. “Dammit, I’ll find another way! I can get redemption! I can come to you! Don’t fall for me! ”
“He’ll never get redemption.” Uriel’s soft voice seemed to whisper right in her ear, even though he was over five feet away from her. “Some sins can’t be forgiven.”
Tears stung her eyes. She kept rising up, pulled by a force she couldn’t stop. Sam.
His burning black gaze followed her. “I will find a way, Seline! Don’t fall, promise me! Don’t! ”
Then she rose too high, and she couldn’t see him—or hear him—any longer.
“He’s going to hell.”
Seline glanced up at Delia’s voice. The angel walked toward her, her steps soft on the gleaming marble floor.
“Sam met with Uriel again,” Delia told her. “Only this time, Sam didn’t cage him.”
Probably because Uriel hadn’t gotten caging close. She figured the big boss had learned from his mistake.
A soft sigh eased from Delia’s lips. “Sam wants to earn redemption.” Delia’s head tilted as she stared at Seline. “For you. He wants to come back home, and it’s all because of you, isn’t it?”
Seline didn’t speak. Hell. She didn’t want Sam in hell.
“Uriel stripped the skin from his back,” Delia whispered this news. “It was the first step in Sammael’s punishment.”
Her breath rushed out as horror filled her. “Why?”
“Because that’s where the wings once were, so the skin is more sensitive to pleasure or to pain. Uriel wanted Sam to feel maximum pain.”
Her stomach tightened. “No,” she bit out. Maximum pain. “Why did Uriel want to hurt him that way?”
“They’re old enemies.” Delia’s head tilted a little to the right. “And Uriel didn’t exactly enjoy the fact that Sam was able to trap him. Now everyone knows that the great Punisher came close to dying by a Fallen’s hand.”
“So he took his pound of flesh.” No, Sammael had sacrificed that flesh, for her. Seline swallowed and tried to choke down the lump in her throat. “What’s hell like?”
“You’ll see, soon enough.”
Was that a threat? She hadn’t expected one from Delia. Maybe I should have.
Delia’s shoulders bowed. “It’s part of our duty. We can travel between earth, heaven, and hell. We go where the punishment takes us.”
“So I’ll be able to see Sam?” Yes, that was hope making her voice rise.
“See him,” Delia agreed, but shook her head as she added, “not talk to him. Not…touch him. Not until his sentence is over.”
“How long is his sentence?” She didn’t like this plan. Not at all. Her hands fisted.
“For redemption, Sammael has to serve a thousand years in hell.”
Seline leapt to her feet. “What?”
Delia stared back at her. “No angel has ever come back to heaven after choosing to fall. Sammael is to be used as an example to stop others from ever following his path.”
“Who decided that, Uriel? He’s a?—”
“You’ll still be alive when Sammael’s sentence is done. He can come back here to you.”
After a thousand years in hell. She blinked to clear eyes gone blurry. “What will happen to him there?”
“Torture. Pain. Nightmares that won’t stop.”
He’d already had enough of that. “He doesn’t deserve that punishment.”
Delia’s wings shifted a bit. “It’s not really punishment. It’s his choice. He’s trading time in hell—and the agony that time will bring—for his wings.”
Her hands clenched. I’m sorry, Sam. “I’m not letting him do it.” She rushed for the doors that weren’t barred any longer. They hadn’t been barred since she’d visited the mortal realm and seen Sam. Don’t fall for me! She could still hear his voice, but Seline was ignoring his words.
“You don’t know what it’s like, do you?” Delia’s voice called after her. “The fall, I mean.”
Seline glanced back. “No, I don’t know, and I don’t care—I’m going back to him. He’s not going to—” Burn. “He won’t suffer for me.” Not for a thousand freaking years.
“There’s a reason he told you not to fall.”
And how did Delia know about that? She’d thought the angel vanished after delivering her to Sam.
The angel’s lips lifted, just for a moment. Almost a smile. “Word spread. There were eyes watching that you didn’t know about, and when Uriel got that strike from above…well, that was sure something angels wanted to know about up here.”
“I need to be with Sam,” Seline said quietly. “When I’m away from him, I just hurt.”
“You’ll hurt more if you fall.” Delia didn’t move toward her. “Your wings will burn away, and it will be a pain unlike anything you’ve felt before.” Her lips tightened. “Or so I’ve been told.”
“I’m not afraid of pain.” A hellhound had ripped out her throat. So what was a bit of fire supposed to do? If she remembered correctly, a giant ball of flames had surrounded her right before she’d woken to heaven.
“It’s not the pain you need to worry about.”
Okay, now that sounded a bit scary. What was she supposed to fear if not the pain? “Look, I’m not cut out to be an angel. I can’t just?—”
“You feel too much. I can see it. We all can. But we truly believe that the longer you’re here, the less you’ll suffer.”
So that, what, in a thousand years, when Sam was flying with his wings again, she wouldn’t even care ? Not happening. “I’m going back home.” To her real home. The only one she’d ever had. Sam. He was home to her. Love. Safety.
Hers.
Seline turned away, and her hands pushed against the doors.
But Delia was still talking. She warned, “You won’t have a memory. Not of heaven. Not of Sam. Not of the life you knew before him. That all gets wiped away in the fall.”
Az hadn’t known who he was at first, either. “Az’s memory came back. So did Sam’s.”
A pause, then Delia told her, “Provided you can stay alive, and all those Other out there desperate for angel blood don’t kill you and drain you, then your memory will come back. Eventually. But that eventually part is different for every angel. It could be months. Could be years. You’ll walk the earth, alone and hurt, thinking that you have no one.”
So she walked alone for a few years or Sam suffered for a millennia. Um, not such a hard choice.
“Why?” Delia’s voice was ragged, and Seline knew the angel realized there would be no changing her mind.
Seline shoved with all of her strength, and the doors flew fully open. Light washed over her. “Because I love him.”
A sharp breath. “That’s exactly what Erina said.”
Now she risked one final glance over her shoulder. “I guess I am like her.” So much more than she’d realized. Then Seline tilted her head back and felt the light warm her skin. “I’m ready to go home.” I’m ready to fall.
Not for punishment. Not because she’d sinned. But because she loved.
All you have to do is ask for help.
Her eyes closed. “Please,” Seline whispered, and knew that she was heard. “I want to fall.”
The wind whipped in her ears. The floor beneath her feet disappeared. Her body plummeted. Fast, faster…
The pain would come, she knew it, yet right then, all she could think was?—
Sam.
Blood dripped down his back. Sam didn’t feel the pain any longer. The skin was gone. Stripped slowly away by an angel with no mercy.
It didn’t matter. The flesh would grow back eventually.
“You can’t do this,” Az raged as his brother paced in front of Sam. “This plan is just insane. You were always desperate to get off the clouds, and now you’re bargaining to get back upstairs?”
Sam didn’t speak.
“Insane,” Az charged again.
The light scent of roses teased Sam’s nose. He spun around. “Seline!”
“No.” Delia drifted down beside him. She clasped her hands in front of her body, and her gaze darted to the blood-splattered floor, then back to him. “You don’t need to sacrifice. No trade should be made.”
And with her words, the pain came back, only this time it was a different kind of pain. One that seemed to slice right through his heart. “Seline?”
A brief nod. “Sh-she fell.”
His head sagged forward even as his hands clenched into fists.
“Well, damn.” From Az.
“When?” Sam demanded. Seline.
“Moments ago. I tried to stop her, but she wanted you too much.”
His chest ached.
“She knew the risks,” Delia informed him quietly. “But she still chose to fall.”
A shadow drifted over the ground, and Sam felt the hard rush of wind around him.
“Are you ready, Sammael?” Uriel asked, voice low and grating.
Ready for his sacrifice? But Seline had already sacrificed, and this bastard didn’t know…
Sam turned toward him. “I’m afraid there’s been a change in plans.”
Uriel’s eyes widened.
Sam braced his legs and got ready to attack. “I’m gonna have to tell you to fuck off now.”
Uriel backed up a step, and Sam saw the flicker of fear in his eyes. Once an angel tasted an emotion—even fear—the feeling could sneak back inside anytime.
“Actually,” Sam drawled slowly, “I think I might be getting my pound of flesh back, and then telling you to fuck off.”
Before Uriel could escape, Az grabbed him.
Az. His brother kept surprising him.
“Uriel.” Sam stalked toward him. “Before you dish out more pain, I think you might need to experience a bit of it yourself.”
Uriel snarled and fought against Az’s hold. “Delia, Delia, help me!”
She shook her head. “Sorry, but I have my orders. And you’ve made someone upstairs very angry. Punishment is coming. ”
Delia flew into the sky.
Sam slammed his fist into Uriel’s face. Bones smashed. “Punishment’s here.”
She hit the ground, and pain was all that she knew. Her body ached, her throat burned from her screams, and bruises and blisters covered her naked form.
She pushed to her feet. Stared at her hands. Broken hands she didn’t recognize. A body she didn’t recognize.
The worst pain came from her shoulders—no, her back. She tried to touch the skin, and she felt thick, hard ridges beneath her fingertips.
Tears leaked from her eyes.
She wanted to curl up. To sink back on the ground and sob.
But she stayed on her feet.
The wind brushed against her body. In the distance, she could just see the light of the sun.
Dawn.
A new day.
She began to walk toward that light. Slow steps because the rough rocks cut her bare feet and blood trickled in her wake.
She walked and wondered…
Who the hell am I?
And why did she feel like she had to hurry?
As if…as if someone waited.