Chapter 26
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
ANGEL
After we finish breakfast, I collect our empty plates and stash them in the sink for later. Then Rhys drags me back to his room and onto the bed.
“Have you ever thought about moving away?” he asks after we’re snuggled under the covers together. Our faces are inches apart and our limbs are all tangled together.
The question takes me aback. I’ve thought about moving away about as much as I’ve thought about jumping out of a plane. “Where would I go?”
“Anywhere!” He gives me a gentle poke in the side.
Anywhere sounds terrifying. Anywhere might as well be nowhere , some nameless place with faceless people. It might as well be a haunted town with ghosts and zombies and monsters.
I scrunch up my nose. “I can count on my hands the number of times I’ve left the tri-state area.”
Rhys’s jaw drops, and my ears tingle with heat. I’m a homebody—everyone knows that. What reason would I have to go somewhere else when everyone I’ve ever known is right here?
“Seriously? What’s the farthest you’ve been?”
I think for a second. I went up north of the city once for a football game in high school. And out to Long Island for a job once. I’ve done weekend trips out to the Jersey Shore with the guys… “Atlantic City?”
“Huh, Nico had his bachelor party there.”
My ears heat even more. “Yeah, that’s when I went.”
Rhys leans in and gives me a kiss on the lips. A single, hard press as he wiggles himself deeper into my arms. He wraps himself around me like an octopus and I never want him to let go.
“Where would you want to go? If you could go anywhere? Not permanently, just for a vacation,” he asks, barely whispering, brushing his nose back and forth across mine.
I don’t know how to answer that question. I’ve thought about it about as much as I’ve thought about moving out of the neighborhood. So I say the first thing that pops into my mind. “Um… Disney World?”
Rhys doesn’t react for a second. Then he giggles, bubbly and bright, wriggling against me until I’m giggling too.
“Disney World? Of all the places on the entire planet, you want to go to Disney World?”
I shrug, still laughing. “I don’t know? Isn’t that where everyone wants to go?”
“I mean, sure? But what about Venice? Rome? Barcelona? Madrid? Paris? Marseille?”
Now my jaw drops. I recognize the names of those cities, of course. But they’re on the other side of the world. We’d have to get on a plane to get there. I’ve never even been on a plane. I’ve never even left America. I don’t even have a passport! “Europe? But that’s so far!”
Rhys runs his fingers through my hair, through my beard. His expression grows so soft and tender that it makes my heart somersault in my chest.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“You’ve been to those places?” I ask, hearing the awe in my own voice. I knew Rhys was much more worldly than I am. I guess I never really understood what that meant.
“Not all of them. But Noel took us on a Mediterranean cruise for his birthday a few years ago. We stopped at a bunch of cities along the way.”
I blink, not entirely sure I understand what he’s saying. How did Noel take them on a cruise? Does he mean Noel has his own boat? How is that possible?
“Noel’s filthy rich,” Rhys adds when I don’t respond.
“Oh.”
“Would you want to see those places? If you could?” Rhys asks.
The question is so far outside what I’m familiar with, it almost doesn’t make sense. How would I see them? How would I get there? Where would I stay? Would I have to go alone? I don’t think I could do that.
But if I went with someone… someone like Rhys. The images materialize in my mind like photographs. The two of us holding each other with the Eiffel Tower in the background. Us sharing a meal of freshly made pasta. Getting lost together while wandering around a super-old castle.
“Maybe? If we went together?”
Rhys smiles, but not too wide, almost like he’s trying to fight it back. His eyes get a little glassy. He snuggles right into me, face tucked into the crook of my neck. “I would love that.”
Warmth fills me. Heat and desire, but also something more. Something that’s so powerful, it takes my breath away. It rocks me to the core, threatening to rip me right apart.
I cling to Rhys as he clings to me, so tightly it’s like we’re trying to merge into one person. Like we never want to let each other go.
“Teddy bear?” Rhys murmurs, lips moving against the skin of my neck.
“Hmm?”
“How come you don’t have a girlfriend?”
The question sends a sharp pain spiking through me. The reminder that I’ve been alone for so long, that no one ever sees me or takes the time to get to know me. No one until Rhys, that is. I hold him closer, nuzzling my nose into his hair. “Girls don’t like me.”
He scoffs. “What? That’s ridiculous. You’re perfect. What’s not to love?”
“It’s true. I had a girlfriend in high school, but that’s it. And even then…” I trail off, realizing only then that I’ve never told Rhys this before.
“Even then?” He prompts.
I swallow down the flurry of emotions inside me. Some of the lingering pain, some embarrassment and shame. But also the warmth that Rhys brings out in me. I have nothing to be self-conscious about. I can tell Rhys anything.
“Even then… we never…” I can’t say the actual words. “You know.”
Rhys doesn’t respond right away, then he pulls back to look at my face. “Never had sex? ”
My ears should be burning, but they’re not. The flush should be spreading to my cheeks, but there’s no heat. There’s a strange peacefulness when I speak. “No. We fooled around a little bit. But it was mostly kissing and awkward groping. And it wasn’t very good.”
“So, you are, or you were, a virgin?”
I nod with a sheepish smile.
“So, the video we filmed was…”
“My first time?”
Rhys’s eyes go wide just before he makes a hiccupping sound. “Teddy bear,” he says, hand coming up to cup my cheek. “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say something?”
“I don’t know?” It hadn’t seemed like a big deal at the time. Although, now that I think about it, I guess first times are supposed to be important, right? At least, that’s what everyone says.
“I would’ve made it… god, I don’t even know, better for you? Special somehow?”
“It was special. It was with you.”
“Ngh, teddy bear!” Then he slams his mouth against mine.
The nickname he’s given me makes my chest swell with that same warmth. It presses against my ribs, pushing and pushing until it feels like I’m going to burst.
“Rhys.” His name comes out as a whine, desperate and needy, echoing with all the feelings I don’t understand.
“Shh, I’ve got you.”
Rhys tugs at the hem of my t-shirt, and we disentangle ourselves just long enough to strip our clothes off. Then we’re right back in each other’s arms. His smooth, toned body, rubbing up against my big, hairy one. His hard erection pressing into my belly. Mine poking him between the legs.
“I want you on top of me,” Rhys whispers into my ear. “Like yesterday, pinning me to the bed, rocking into me.”
Worry sprouts at the back of my mind, even as my dick pulses at the memory of how good it felt. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “One thousand percent.”
He scrambles for the bottle of lube that fell onto the floor last night. Before I can react, he’s slicked up his fingers and shoved two inside his body. With his free hand, he’s tugging me into position.
“I can’t wait, teddy bear. I need you to fill me up. All the way. Come here.”
Rhys manhandles me, which sounds ridiculous given our size difference, but I shudder at how strong he is, at how easily he puts me right where he wants me. I feel big and small at the same time, tough and soft in the same exact moment. In control and yet utterly defenseless.
Rhys guides me to him, bringing the tip of my dick right up to his hole. Then he feeds me into his body, his muscles sucking me right inside. Before I know it, I’m bottomed out, every inch of me encased in the tight heat of Rhys’s bum. The feeling is overwhelming, coursing through every cell, every nerve, touching me where I’ve never been touched before, changing me forever.
I tremble. With a yearning so potent it scares me. I want. So. Much. So. Hard. To the point where I’ll give just about anything to satisfy the craving clawing at my insides.
“Rhys,” I cry, dragging his name out into multiple syllables.
“I’ve got you.” He kisses me, tongue pushing into my mouth, swirling around mine. Forceful and demanding. He bites down on my bottom lip, tugging firmly enough that I whimper at the dull pain.
His fingers scrape over my scalp, over my back, leaving trails of fire everywhere they go. His legs are locked around my waist, heels planted firmly on my behind, keeping me buried to the hilt.
“Oh god, teddy bear, you feel so good.”
I hum in agreement, my brain not able to gather letters into words.
“I love how thick you are, how much I have to stretch around you. So full. So stuffed.”
I tilt my hips forward, giving him even more and Rhys moans.
“I love how heavy you are. I love your weight on top of me, holding me down, trapping me. I love how hairy you are, all this beautiful, soft fur.”
I bury my face into the space between Rhys’s shoulder and neck as he showers these words on me. These words that are as painful as they are soothing. They penetrate through all my layers, through all the things I thought I knew about myself, into the core of who I am. They break me open. They lay me bare.
“I love that I’m your first, that you haven’t had anyone else but me. I love making you feel good, making you come, making you lose your mind.”
I love that too. I love all the things Rhys has introduced me to, all the ways he’s helped me step outside my comfort zone. I love the new things I’ve learned about myself, the way I’ve changed because of him. I love how he feels in my arms. I love how he makes me feel .
A choked sound escapes my throat as I thrust into his body, into his tight, welcoming heat.
“Yes, teddy bear, that’s it. Just like that. Fuck me.”
A protest rises up inside me. No. I’m not fucking Rhys. Nothing so crude. I’m making love to Rhys. I’m giving back to him all the things he’s given to me. I’m pouring myself into him like he’s poured himself into me.
I move slowly but steadily, maintaining that excruciating pace that’s just enough to make my head spin. Rhys writhes under me, arching and stretching, urging me on.
“I’ve never felt this good, teddy bear. I’ve never felt like this before. You do things to me…” His voice breaks and he bites down on my shoulder with a sob. “Fuck, the things you do to me.”
“What?” I ask, suddenly overcome with the need to know. “What do I do to you?” Are they anything like the things he does to me?
“You… you… you make me want things I shouldn’t want.”
A full-body shudder races through me, making me drive deeper into him. He makes me want things I shouldn’t want either. Things like going to a gay nightclub, doing gay porn, visiting faraway places, leaving everything and everyone I know behind. “What do you want?”
Rhys shakes his head as his body clenches around my dick.
“What do you want, Rhys?” I ask again, hips snapping forward a little harder.
He cries out, a choked, broken sound. “You, Angel. I want you.”
Rhys’s admission trips something inside me. Like a switch that’s been flipped. I go wild. Almost feral. Rhys wants me? Then he has me. All of me. Forever.
With my arms snaked under his body, holding him secure, I pound into him. Again and again, like my hips are a jackhammer trying to break through concrete. The bed bangs against the wall. Sweat pours off me, creating a wet squelching sound as skin slaps against skin.
Rhys screams in my ear. “Yes! Yes! Right there! Harder! Ngh!”
I try to go harder, drawing on every ounce of strength, desire, and love I have to give Rhys the best orgasm of his life. My balls draw up. The base of my spine tingles. But I can’t come before he does. I can’t come until he says I can.
“Rhys, please!”
“Yes! Yes! Fuck! Fuck!” He clenches like a vise around me. “Now, Angel! Now!”
I let go just as molten lava explodes between us, coating my stomach and his. My orgasm erupts from me, twisting me around and chewing me up. Wave after wave crashes over me as I pump myself deep into Rhys’s hole.
“Yes, that’s it! Fill me with your cum, Angel! Drown me in it!”
I do my best, chasing every last drop of pleasure, leaving nothing in the tank. I collapse onto Rhys. Mind short-circuited. Body drifting in bliss. From somewhere in the distance comes a reminder that I’m heavy and I should roll off him, but my muscles have been liquified and I can’t move.
Rhys doesn’t seem to mind, from the way he’s still clinging to me, peppering light kisses along my cheek, my neck, my shoulder.
That warmth from before, the one that has the power to destroy me, it’s love, I realize. Love for Rhys. And yeah, it can destroy me. But it can also make me whole.