CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jude watched as Angela climbed the stairs and disappeared without looking back at him. He wished that he could have gone up with her and just spent some time letting her talk through how she felt.
It was clear that she had mixed feelings about the meeting with Jill. As he’d told her and Duncan, he thought she’d done well. But he understood why she didn’t feel the same way.
He put a foot on the lowest step and gripped the railing. The pull to go get her and find a quiet corner in the house to talk was strong.
But it wasn’t his place. And if he took the time to do what he wanted, Duncan would wonder why his request that Jude return to the office had been ignored.
Turning from the staircase, Jude told himself he would check on her later. At the very least, he could send her a text to make the offer to talk if she needed it.
With a deep sigh, Jude returned to Duncan's office, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. Angela's words still lingered in his mind—her gratitude, her uncertainty. The way her eyes had clouded with something he couldn't quite name when he'd called them friends.
When he entered the office, Duncan was standing by the window, hands clasped behind his back as he gazed out at the estate grounds.
"How is she?" Duncan asked without turning around.
"Processing," Jude replied, closing the door behind him. "It was a lot to take in."
Duncan nodded, finally turning to face him and moving to his imposing chair behind the desk. "Tell me everything that happened. I want to hear the details Angelica might have left out."
Jude moved to the chair he'd occupied earlier, settling in as he recounted the meeting with Jill—her dismissive attitude toward Kiara, her thinly veiled criticisms of Angela, and the remarkable way Angela had stood her ground.
"She didn't mention how Jill tried to dismiss you from the room," Duncan noted when Jude finished.
"It wasn't really a surprise,” Jude said. “So it wasn’t important."
"It shows Jill's character hasn't changed." Duncan shook his head. "And Julian? How did he handle all this?"
"Mostly stayed silent. He didn't defend his mother, but didn't stand up for Angela either."
Duncan's expression darkened. "That sounds like Julian. Always trying to walk the middle line." He sighed. “Do you feel that I should have a meeting with her myself?”
Jude considered the question for a moment, appreciating that Duncan was interested in his opinion.
“You should probably be open to that,” Jude said. “But I’d wait to see how things unfold over the next couple of days before requesting a meeting with her.”
“Do you know when she’s leaving?” Duncan asked.
“Neither she nor Julian has told me a departure date.”
“I’ll ask Julian. I’ve tried not to wade into this because things are already tense between him and me, but I’ll do it if necessary.”
“I think Angela needs to steer clear of Jill for a little while.”
“Do you really want her to have a relationship with Jill?” Jude asked.
“If it’s a healthy one,” Duncan said. His eyes narrowed slightly. “Would you consider your relationship with your mom to be healthy?”
The question took Jude aback. It was rare that Duncan ventured into the personal with him. And to ask about his mother? That was even more of a rarity.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But it works for us, I guess. I don’t really want it to be different.”
“That’s good,” Duncan said. “It’s not easy being a parent, especially to grown adults when you can no longer guide them the way you once could through incentives and punishments.”
Jude felt like his mom still tried her best to “guide”—also known as manipulate—him into doing what she thought was best for his life. It was only because he’d learned to brush her efforts aside that their relationship had survived.
“Have you thought about starting a family yourself?” Duncan asked.
Jude was sure that he hadn’t sufficiently hidden his surprise at the question. It was even more surprising than the question about his mother.
“Uh… maybe when I was younger I thought about it,” Jude said.
Duncan leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers in front of himself. “But not now?”
He took his time answering, uncertain what question might be coming next. Had Duncan sensed that he wasn’t viewing Angela in quite the same way he did the rest of the Burke family?
Jude had tried to keep his actions professional when he was with Angela, but it was possible he’d failed.
“I think perhaps my time for considering marriage and a family has passed me by.”
Duncan frowned. “Why would you say that? You’re not that old. I was older than you when Benjamin was born.”
“I’m content with my life. Plus, I don’t want to chance leaving a child behind the way my dad did. Being older and in this profession ups the chances of that happening.”
Duncan gave him a considering look. “Aren’t you a Christian?”
And yet another surprising question. “I am.”
“But you don’t trust God to protect you?”
“My dad also trusted God, and God ended up taking him. So, I don’t know how I feel about that.” Jude returned Duncan’s gaze. “How do you know about what Christians think?”
“Elizabeth, Annalisa, and Benjamin talk about what they believe around me quite a bit. I think about it.”
“But not enough to become a Christian yourself?”
Duncan didn’t answer right away, his gaze shifting to the window next to his desk. Finally, he looked back at Jude.
“I’m considering it,” Duncan said. “I just… I don’t know.”
“Don’t leave it too late.”
“Your dad said the same thing to me before he passed away.”
“And yet here we are, so many years later, and you’re still thinking about it.”
“True.” Duncan gave a brief chuckle. “I'm not sure what’s holding me back.”
Jude had an idea. There was a verse in the Bible he’d heard during a few sermons over the years that spoke of it being easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.
Perhaps that was what Duncan was struggling with. The idea of surrendering his wealth to God was probably daunting considering his substantial worth.
“I’ve just been thinking a lot about family now that mine is complete once again. More than complete because we’ve added Kiara, and hopefully Cole one day.”
“Hopefully Cole?” Jude prodded with a grin. “You’ve certainly had a change of heart about that man.”
Duncan shrugged. “He’s proven himself. A lesser man might have run after I threatened him.”
A lesser man. Was that what he was? For not being willing to risk it all to be with Angela? That didn’t sit well with Jude, and he knew it wouldn’t be what his dad would want him to be.
The truth was, he hadn’t even given Duncan the chance to threaten him. There was a part of him that wanted to tell Duncan that he had fallen in love with Angela and that he thought Angela might have some feelings for him as well.
But even if he was willing to put his job on the line, did he want to put Angela in a position of having to choose between him and her father?
“I hope you know that I would respect your decision when it comes to a woman. That I would trust that you wouldn’t bring anyone into our lives that would negatively affect us.”
“I appreciate that,” Jude said, because he really did. “But it’s not a concern at the moment.”
“I just want to make sure you aren’t holding back because of your job here,” Duncan said. “And I know your salary is more than enough to support a wife and a family.”
“It is,” Jude said, trying to keep the image of coming home to his cabin to be greeted by Angela out of his mind. But now that the idea had been planted, it played out like a movie, with him even smelling the aromas of vanilla, cinnamon, and baked bread. Scents he’d come to associate with Angela.
“I could always get Elizabeth to set you up with someone,” Duncan said. “Just say the word.”
“Oh, that will never happen. I have a couple of friends who have tried that, and it’s failed. I’d rather not go that route again.”
“Well, download one of those apps and start chatting.”
The offer to set him up hopefully meant that Duncan really wasn’t aware of the current that flowed between him and Angela. Never in his life had he been so conflicted about something.
“I’m not keen on doing that,” Jude said. “I think I’m a little old for the people who use those apps.”
Duncan nodded. “I hear you. I just hope that you really are happy being single, and not wanting to be married and struggling because you can’t find someone.”
“I’m very content in my life,” Jude assured him. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Strangely enough,” Duncan mused. “I do worry about you. Maybe it’s because at one time in my past, your dad asked me to take care of you if anything happened to him. In some ways, you feel like a son.”
The words sent an unexpected warmth spiraling through Jude. “I didn’t know that, but that sounds like him.”
“So if you have any concerns, I hope you feel comfortable coming to me with them. And I don’t mean just work concerns. I’m talking about personal concerns too.”
Jude wasn’t sure what had prompted this conversation, and he wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. Still, he nodded because that would be the reaction Duncan expected.
But would he actually follow through and come to Duncan with concerns? Jude wasn’t sure he would.
“I would feel comfortable talking to you if I felt the need.”
Duncan studied him for a moment longer, then seemed to accept his response. "Good. Now, about security for the rest of the week—"
As Duncan shifted into work mode, Jude found himself only half-listening. His mind kept drifting back to Angela climbing those stairs, the vulnerable set of her shoulders, the way she'd looked at him when he'd called them friends.
The conversation with Duncan about family and marriage had stirred something uncomfortable in his chest. The image Duncan had unknowingly planted—coming home to Angela—felt both impossible and desperately desired.