CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE #2
The words sent an unexpected warmth through Jude's chest, but they also made his situation feel even more complicated. If Duncan saw him as family, how would he feel if a relationship developed between him and Angela?
"That's exactly why this is problematic," Jude said. "Angela is your daughter. She's been through enough without me complicating her life."
"How would you be complicating it?"
Jude ran a hand through his hair, struggling to articulate the tangle of concerns in his mind. "I’m older than she is.”
That had definitely weighed on his mind a lot, in addition to everything else.
Duncan apparently didn’t have the same concerns because he gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “You are aware that I’m older than Elizabeth by more years than you are older than Angela.”
He was aware of that, but it felt different when it was his age they were discussing.
“If she were nineteen or twenty, I might feel differently,” Duncan said. “But she’s almost twenty-eight.”
“And probably hasn’t dated much, if at all,” Jude said. “I’m too old to be a pit-stop on her search to find the man she wants to be with.”
“Do you think that’s what she’s doing?” Duncan asked.
“I don’t know,” Jude admitted. “But how would she know that I’m the best for her if she doesn’t date other guys?”
“How many women have you dated?”
Jude had never discussed his dating life, but he knew Duncan was aware that he’d had one serious girlfriend years ago. “One seriously.”
Duncan’s brows rose. “Have you gone on any other dates since her?”
“Not many.”
“Why not?”
“Because it felt like my life and job were incompatible with dating.”
“I never would have wanted you to feel that you couldn’t have a personal life.”
“I have a personal life. I have friends I spend time with.”
“But no romantic life.”
“No.”
“Until now.”
Jude didn’t respond because Duncan was right.
“So why shouldn’t she be worried that you might not know what you want in a woman and she’s just a pit-stop for you?”
Jude knew that she wouldn’t be, but in saying that, he was taking away one of his excuses.
He wasn’t sure why he was trying to talk himself—and Duncan—out of him pursuing a relationship with Angela.
That was what he wanted, and yet here he was, giving her father all the reasons why he wasn’t a good choice for her.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Duncan began. “I’m going to stay out of things between you and Angela. I trust you, and regardless of what you choose to do, you won’t lose your job.”
Jude really wished he could believe that.
“I’ll leave the decision about assigning her a bodyguard in your hands,” Duncan said. “Trusting you’ll put her wellbeing at the forefront of that decision.”
“I would always do that,” Jude said.
“I know. You’re a good man, Jude. I’m not surprised Angela has seen that in you.”
Jude rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. He hoped that his dad would have agreed.
“I’m surprised you’re not giving me more of a hassle, considering.”
“Considering?” Duncan asked. “Considering what?”
“You threatened Cole’s career.”
The older man chuckled as he grinned. “I sure did. That might have sent any other number of men running, but Cole proved that Annalisa was important enough to him to give up his career.”
The unspoken question was whether Jude was prepared to do the same.
He was. But first, he and Angela needed to have a conversation.
On returning to the kitchen, he found that Angela was no longer there. The housekeeper told him that she’d left with Annie.
That surprised Jude a little, but he wasn’t going to interrupt their time together. Thanking the housekeeper for the information, he headed back to the security building, planning to text her later to see if they could talk.
~*~
“Something smells good,” Annie announced as she came into the kitchen with Benji.
“Cookies!” Benji exclaimed as he hurried toward the counter where they sat.
“Would you like one?” she asked.
“Yes. I definitely would like one, and then two more.”
Angela chuckled as she watched Benji grab a paper towel and then pile three cookies on it. He grabbed a fourth and took a bite of it before heading out of the kitchen with a wave.
“Do you want some?”
“Sure,” Annie said as she sat on a barstool at the island counter. “They smell delicious.”
Angela got a small plate, then set a couple of cookies on it for Annie.
“Thank you.”
“I was actually going to text you to see about getting together for a chat,” Angela said.
“Really?” Annie took another bite of her cookie. “Did you have something particular in mind you wanted to chat about?”
“Actually, yes,” Angela said after a moment’s hesitation. “But could we maybe go to your place?”
“Sure. As long as you bring some cookies with you.”
Angela laughed. “I can do that.”
It didn’t take long for her to put away the cookies and clean up the pans and mixing bowl. Soon, she and Annie were heading out, Nyla, Annie’s dog, trotting along beside them.
The road was clear of snow, and the weather wasn’t as cold as it had been when she and Kiara had first arrived. It was still chillier than she was used to, so she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket as they walked.
“What’s Kiara up to today?” Annie asked.
“At the moment, she’s trying to see if there’s a college course she could take remotely.”
“What’s she most interested in?”
“She’s always loved books, and she worked at the library in Briar Hollow, so I think she’d like to get a degree that would allow her to do something with books.”
“Work in a library?” Annie asked.
“I imagine so,” Angela said. “She figures that she’ll be able to do that because she won’t have to worry about people thinking she’s connected to the Burke family like you and I do.”
“I suppose that might be true,” Annie said. “But I’m sure Dad would hope that she’d at least keep a bodyguard around.”
“I think she’d probably agree to that, depending on what the situation looks like.”
As they approached Annie’s home, Angela followed her up onto the porch and into the warmth of the cabin.
“So what is it you’d like to talk about?” Annie said after they’d hung up their coats and removed their boots. “Is it Jude, by any chance?”
Heat rushed to Angela's cheeks as she followed Annie into the living room. "Is it that obvious?"
"I've seen the way you look at him." Annie settled onto the couch, tucking one leg beneath her. "And I've definitely noticed how he looks at you when he thinks no one's watching."
Angela's heart skipped. "How does he look at me?"
"Like you're a beautiful sunrise after the longest night." Annie picked up a cookie from the plate Angela had brought. "It's the same way Cole looks at me, which is how I recognized it from Jude."
Angela sank into the armchair across from her twin, trying to process this information. She'd been so uncertain about Jude's feelings, constantly second-guessing every interaction, every lingering glance.
"I don't know what to do," she admitted. "There have been times when I thought maybe he felt something too, but then he’s pulled away."
Annie nodded thoughtfully. "Jude takes his responsibilities very seriously. He probably thinks having feelings for you conflicts with his job."
"That's what I was afraid of." Angela twisted her hands in her lap. "I don't want him to feel like he has to choose between me and his work."
"Is that why you wanted to talk to me? For advice about Jude?"
"Partly." Angela took a deep breath. "I also wanted to talk to you about… us. About being sisters. Twins. I feel like we've barely gotten to know each other at all."
Annie's expression softened, and she set her cookie down. "I know. I've felt the same way. It seems like it should be easier. That we should have this instant connection because we're twins, but instead, we're practically strangers."
"Exactly." Relief flooded through Angela at being understood. "Everyone expects us to be close right away, but it's not that simple."
"It's weird, isn't it?" Annie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear—the same nervous gesture Angela often made herself. "Looking at someone who has your face but isn't you."
Angela nodded, studying her twin. It was like looking in a mirror, but not quite. Annie's hair was long and straight, and while her style was mostly casual, her clothes were clearly quality. Her posture was more confident.
They had the same raw materials, but very diverse life experiences had molded them into different people.
"I want to know you," Angela said softly. "The real you, not just what everyone else says about you."
"I want that too." Annie leaned forward. "It's just been… overwhelming. I spent my whole life as an only daughter, and suddenly I have a twin sister. I knew you existed, but having that knowledge is different from facing the reality. Plus, I've been so wrapped up in my relationship with Cole."
"I understand," Angela assured her. "You have your own life. I don't expect you to drop everything for me."
"But I should have made more effort." Annie's voice was tinged with regret. "It's just—I don't always know what to say. What to ask. But right now, I can maybe help you a little with Jude.”
“I’d appreciate that,” Angela said. “Anything that might give me some insight into who he is.”
Annie leaned back against the couch cushions. "Well, I've known Jude since I was a little girl. He's always been… steady. The kind of person who's there when you need him."
Angela nodded, drinking in every detail about the man who occupied so much of her thoughts. "I’ve definitely gotten that feeling about him."
"He takes his responsibility to our family seriously—maybe too seriously sometimes.
" Annie's expression grew thoughtful. "After his dad died, Dad made sure that Jude knew he had a home with us. So he was a bodyguard first, then moved into the role of head of security. I’m sure he’s felt pressured to fill his dad’s shoes. "
And that was what worried Angela the most. That his devotion to the Burke family and his job would mean he wouldn’t be willing to consider entertaining any sort of personal relationship with her.
"He’s only talked a little about his dad."
"That’s actually more than I would have thought he would.
They were incredibly close. When Mr. Kessler died, Jude shut down for a while.
He was barely an adult, but he was determined to follow in his dad’s footsteps.
" Annie brushed some crumbs from her lap.
"And he’s good at it. Dad trusts him completely. "
Angela tried to imagine a younger Jude, grieving but determined, taking on such enormous responsibility. It made his devotion to duty make more sense.
"Has he… been with anyone? He said he didn’t have an ex-wife or a current girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t had an ex-girlfriend.” The question felt intimate, almost invasive, but Angela needed to know.
Annie shook her head. "There was someone years ago, but I don’t think he’s had a serious girlfriend since then. It’s possible he’s been dating, but if so, he hasn’t brought them around or even mentioned them.”
“I don’t have any experience with boyfriends,” Angela admitted, her gaze on her hands.
“You think I’ve had a lot of experience?” Annie asked. “Cole was my first. My dad is very overprotective, so I knew any guy I wanted to date would have to pass his test.”
“Do you think Jude would?”
“Probably more easily than Cole did. Dad knows Jude and trusts him. Those are huge positives.”
Angela appreciated all the insights Annie had offered, and she just hoped that they weren’t for nothing. If Jude wasn’t interested, or refused to act on his interest, it wouldn’t matter how much she knew about him.
She just prayed that it was God’s will. Her feelings for Jude were already so deep that she knew there would be hurt to heal from if he wasn’t romantically interested in her.