Chapter 3 #2
“They are a mafia,” Sariel replied firmly. “A mafia is an organized body of criminals, yes? Many of their endeavors to maintain peace and cultivate power are very illegal.”
“Yeah, guess I shoulda figured since they were really okay with murder and kidnapping.”
“Mr. Heiss is a demon. There is very little he is not okay with.” Sariel scooped out a small blob of dough, rolling it around in his hands to make a ball. He then rolled the ball in the bowl of sugar and cinnamon before setting it on the tray.
“The serial killer guys are demons too?”
“Yes. After their deaths, Mr. Heiss resurrected them as demons to work for him.”
“So, a human can become a demon?”
“Yes.”
“Can a human become an angel?”
Sariel wrinkled his nose. “No. That is silly.”
“Right. Of course it is.” Seymour watched Sariel roll more little balls of dough. “What are you making?”
“Cookies.” Sariel offered a small smile. “I thought perhaps you would enjoy them.”
“Yes, baked goods are absolutely what I need right now to forget about watching Mr. Talos get his head ripped off,” Seymour drawled. “Feeling better already.”
“You are being sarcastic again.”
“No shit.” Seymour laughed weakly. “But, uh, thank you. For tryin’ to do somethin’ nice for me.”
“I am very sorry,” Sariel said, his voice soft. “Please understand that I had no choice.”
“It’s okay.” Seymour gave Sariel’s shoulder a squeeze. “I mean, it fuckin’ sucks nuts, you know? Can’t complain about the scenery at least.”
Sariel looked around. “The kitchen?”
Seymour laughed, reaching up to brush the flour off Sariel’s cheek. “Sure. Yeah, that.”
Sariel smiled, and his eyes seemed brighter.
Seymour hadn’t realized just how close they were until that moment, and Sariel smelled as sweet as the cookies he was making. It probably was the cookies, but Seymour enjoyed breathing it in all the same.
“So, uh…” Seymour cleared his throat. “You never did tell me what your sign is.”
“Oh!” Sariel’s smile grew. “Well, I think of myself as a Cancer. They are very attuned to the emotions of others and said to be nurturing. I do enjoy cooking as a way to comfort people. Though I also enjoy experimenting with new flavors, which would be a very Scorpio trait—”
“Wait, wait, wait. You don’t know what sign you are?”
“No.”
“You don’t know your birthday?”
“No. Time is not measured in the Celestial as it is in other realms. I am sure I have one, but I would have no way of knowing it.” Sariel rolled a final cookie ball and then started carrying the dishes over to the sink.
Seymour grabbed a few to help him, asking, “Why don’t you just pick one? You know, make it up.”
Sariel looked aghast. “That would be lying.”
“Is it really lying if you don’t know and got no way of finding out?”
“Well…” Sariel frowned, rinsing off the dishes to load into the dishwasher. “Perhaps.”
“Yeah! I’m sure we could look through all them books you have and figure out which one is good for you, yeah?” Seymour nudged Sariel’s arm. “For the record, you really do have some solid Cancer energy.”
Sariel smiled.
A tiny one, but still.
Seymour glanced at the oven. “You want me to go on and put the cookies in there?”
“Yes. Please.” Sariel nodded. “I will be done with the dishes in a moment.”
Seymour grabbed the tray of cookies and opened up the oven. He slid the tray in, shut the door, and then asked, “Timer?”
“Nine minutes, please.”
“Beep boop boop,” Seymour muttered to himself as he pushed the buttons. He didn’t know why, but he’d always liked making his own sound effects for electronics. It probably had something to do with a passing obsession with robots as a child.
Which reminded him…
“Mr. Talos.” Seymour turned back to Sariel.
“Yes?” Sariel had just closed the dishwasher.
“What the fuck was he? Was he a robot? Still kinda felt bad watchin’ him, you know, get fuckin’ murdered.”
“No, he is not a robot. He is also not dead.”
“What?” Seymour scoffed. “I saw him get his head ripped off by that fuckin’—”
“That fucking what?” a cool voice cut in.
Seymour whirled around to find a man standing at the entrance of the kitchen.
He was tall, athletic, and wearing a black-and-gray pinstripe suit.
His eyes were like ice, his gaze hard, and his salt-and-pepper hair was buzzed short.
His skin was fair, his features sharp, and though he was attractive, he gave Seymour the immediate impression that he would snap Seymour’s neck just as easily as look at him.
Just like Talos…
“Mr. Heiss.” Seymour made a face. “What happened to the horns and stuff? Almost didn’t recognize you. Was really lovin’ that whole Satan vibe.”
“Adorable.” Mr. Heiss snapped his fingers, his tone cold and detached. “Come. Sit. We have much to talk about.”
“And if I don’t wanna?” Seymour challenged.
Sariel placed a gentle hand on Seymour’s shoulder.
“Seymour Madison.” Mr. Heiss walked toward the living room, ignoring Seymour’s question and waving for him to follow. “I am going to offer you a deal.”
“No, I’m not listenin’ to shit until you—hey!” Seymour gasped as something dragged him forward. It was like a giant invisible hand had seized him around his middle. “Fuckin’ let go of me!”
“I will try to put this into small words so you understand.” Mr. Heiss sat right in the middle of the couch, snapping his fingers again.
A glass of amber colored liquid appeared in his hand.
“Being able to see the spirits of the Reliquary is a rare and valuable gift. My brothers have been searching for someone with such a gift.”
“Good for them!” Seymour squirmed, as he was now forced to stand in front of Mr. Heiss. “Why don’t you go snatch that Neil guy, huh? He can see ’em too!”
“Ah, yes, but he is mated to Lou, who is also one of my brothers.” Mr. Heiss sipped his drink. “Neil cannot be touched, so they have been watching and waiting for another opportunity to present itself.”
Seymour snorted. “They’ve just been spyin’ on him?”
“You have to be very careful when speaking to fae.” Mr. Heiss chuckled, as if that was somehow funny.
Seymour didn’t get it.
“Now.” Mr. Heiss flashed a cold smile. “In case you haven’t followed, that new opportunity is you.”
“Woo.”
“Now that I am in possession of you, this is what is going to happen. My brothers have something I want. If I loan you out to assist them, then I’ll get it.”
“And what does any of this have to do with me? ’Cause it sounds like none of this is my problem.”
“One, you’re able to see the spirits of the Reliquary, which means you have a connection to the wizard.”
“Yeah, good ol’ Norbert.”
“Yes.” Mr. Heiss made a slight face. “And two, I assume you enjoy living and would like to continue to do so.”
Seymour shivered, grunting as the magical grip holding him in place finally released him. He dusted himself off and grimaced. “Okay. What the hell do you want me to do?”
“My brothers will have a favor to ask of you. Do it. Whatever it is. Making them happy will make me happy.” Mr. Heiss lifted his glass. “See? Simple.”
“Uh, no. Not fuckin’ simple.” Seymour glared. “Who the fuck are your brothers, huh? What are they gonna ask me to do?”
“Do not worry. It will not be anything that will directly harm you—”
“Directly?”
“Sariel will be your escort. He’ll make sure nothing happens to you.” Mr. Heiss smirked. “Would be a shame to lose such a valuable asset, after all.”
“Wait, wait. No, I ain’t stickin’ around. I do this and you let me go.”
“Or else what?”
Well, Seymour hadn’t thought about that.
“Or else…” Seymour scrambled to come up with a response. “Or else I tell everybody monsters are real! Or ’bout how, how I saw you murder the fuck out of Mr. Talos. Or, you know, any of the crazy shit I saw.”
Mr. Heiss laughed.
And laughed.
“Adorable.” Mr. Heiss grinned. “Just adorable.” He finished off his drink and licked his lips slowly.
“Please believe me when I say that while you’re much more valuable to me alive than dead, there are several degrees of alive in which you could still be useful.
Such as not having any arms, legs, ears… ”
Seymour wanted to scream.
To fight.
To snap.
Punch Mr. Heiss right in his smug face.
There was probably very little he could do against a demon gangster, but he loathed standing here like a bump on a log.
“But.” Mr. Heiss clicked his tongue. “If you do as I ask and I’m able to acquire what I seek, then I will let you go.”
“Let me go as in let me leave alive and with all my limbs?”
“Yes.”
“Do we sign in blood or somethin’? Or am I just supposed to take your word for it?”
Mr. Heiss smirked. “You’ll be meeting Absolis and Vilanos Mostro shortly. I don’t want to keep them waiting for too long. It’s better for all of us if they’re in a good mood.”
“You are not answerin’ my question.”
“Your powers of observation are astounding.” Mr. Heiss snapped, a chain in his hand now.
The other end was attached to Sariel’s collar.
“Sariel, come.” Mr. Heiss pulled, dragging Sariel over with enough force to cause him to stumble. “You’ll take Mr. Madison and—”
“Hey!” Seymour barked. “You ain’t gotta treat him like that. Damn asshole. What’s wrong with you?”
Mr. Heiss eyed Seymour, slowly rising to his feet.
His human disguise flickered and flames burned in his gaze, and his voice was eerily calm as he said, “The short answer is a lot. But the immediate concern for you is how very little I care about the supposed sanctity of human life. Take yours, for example.”
Seymour stepped forward. “Yeah? What about it?”
“I need you to get something I want. I will extend all of my power and assets to ensure your safety so that goal is successfully met. However, once that is accomplished, you’re no more useful to me than the crust collecting at the corner of your mouth as you stand there like an absolute fool, so eager to insult me and demonstrate your valor.
” Mr. Heiss spat out that last word with utter disgust, and he rolled his eyes.
Seymour was ready to smart off again, but the invisible hand returned. It was now pushing into his chest, squeezing around his heart until it fluttered frantically and he couldn’t breathe.
“Oh, look at that.” Mr. Heiss snorted. “Nothing to say now, hmm? Not when your pitiful mortal life is literally in my hands?”
The hand squeezed once more and then released.
Seymour gasped, collapsing to the floor and clutching his chest. “F-fuck…!”
Mr. Heiss addressed Sariel now, saying firmly, “You will take Mr. Madison here to Fallen Hope. You will do whatever is necessary to keep him safe from harm. Do you understand?”
Sariel bowed his head. “Yes, master.”
“If the twins try to play any of their silly little games, call me immediately. The terms of our arrangement explicitly prohibit such nonsense, but I would not be surprised if they still try something.”
“Yes, master.”
Mr. Heiss gave the chain one final pull and then let go. It promptly vanished. Two gleaming gold tickets appeared in his hand, and he walked over to place them on the edge of the kitchen counter. He adjusted his suit and then sneered over at Seymour. “It’s been fun, but I really have to run.”
“More… people to torture?” Seymour croaked.
Mr. Heiss smiled at that. “Yes. And who knows? Maybe you’ll be one of them.”
Seymour did his best to glare defiantly, though it was difficult when it felt like he was recovering from a brief bout of cardiac arrest.
Mr. Heiss chuckled and then vanished as quickly as he’d arrived.
As soon as he was gone, Sariel rushed to Seymour’s side. He wrapped his arms around him and held him close, asking worriedly, “Are you all right?”
“I just had my heart fist-fucked by an asshole demon.” Seymour choked out a small laugh. “I dunno ’bout all right, but I’m alive.” He managed to brace himself on Sariel’s chest. “What ’bout you? You okay?”
“I am fine.” Sariel shook his head. “Mr. Heiss enjoys his abuse, but he would never do anything to cause me permanent harm.”
“Wow. What a great guy.”
Sariel’s brow furrowed. “No. No, he is still quite terrible.”
Seymour smiled weakly.
“Ah, that is the sarcasm again.”
“You got it.” Seymour pushed up to his knees, grateful for Sariel’s strong embrace to help him. “So, uh, where are we goin’ exactly?”
“There are many establishments run by monsters for monsters.” Sariel gently pulled Seymour the rest of the way to his feet. “Fallen Hope is particularly exclusive, as it is a place for those of the Ethereal. It is a realm that mirrors this one, and it is extremely dangerous for mortal creatures.”
“Like me?”
“Yes, like you.”
“So, I have to go to the extremely dangerous place and help who exactly?”
“The fae princes, Absolis and Vilanos Mostro. They will have a task for you to complete before they will give Mr. Heiss the item he is seeking.”
Seymour clung to Sariel a little tighter. “And the chances of me gettin’ outta this total shit nightmare alive?”
“Well, the horoscope for Aries today did say that your direction may be a bit unclear as you find a personal situation veering out of control, but you can still let the air out of the tires and obtain a peaceful resolution. So. Yes?”
Seymour grimaced. “I really don’t like how you said yes as a question. Not really given’ me a lot of confidence.”
“Well…”
The oven beeped.
Sariel cringed. “Cookies?”
“Got any fuckin’ tequila to go with ’em?”
“Is that… a normal pairing?”
“We’re ’bout to make it one.”