Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
So.” Seymour swallowed hard. “That’s bad.”
“No shit,” Lou grumbled.
There was a hiss, like air rushing out of a tire or a snake preparing to strike, and Mr. Heiss appeared.
Fuckin’ hell.
Because what they really needed right now was a gigantic demonic asshole.
Mr. Heiss scanned the area, taking in the petrified troll, Sariel cuddled up with Seymour, and the blood. He sneered and snapped his fingers, pulling at something invisible in the air. “Sariel. Come here.”
Sariel jerked, his collar appearing as a thin, translucent chain grew taut. The other end definitely led to Mr. Heiss. “Yes, master.” He left Seymour with his head bowed low, obediently walking over.
Mr. Heiss grabbed Sariel’s jaw and turned his head this way and that. He didn’t seem to be happy with what he saw, perhaps able to see beneath Sariel’s human disguise, because he suddenly snarled, “What in the actual fuck? What happened to you?”
Lou scoffed. “What the fuck do you think? It’s the ribelli. They have a squonk running around, posing as us and planting these beacons in multiple monster establishments.”
Dagobert wiggled the crystal, and he still appeared as if he’d rather be holding anything else.
Day growled softly, but she stayed plastered against Seymour’s side as she glared at Mr. Heiss. “Can I eat him?”
“Not right now,” Seymour whispered. “Too many witnesses.”
Mr. Heiss frowned. “Beacons? For what purpose?”
“To potentially broadcast music written with the Wine of Silvertongue that targets monsters,” Lou replied shortly. “We have a list of other locations to check, but trust me that this plot is as massive as it is potentially devastating.”
Mr. Heiss did not let go of Sariel. “And this list was supplied by?”
“Talos.”
“Any idea where our fae brethren are now?”
“No. They’re not answering me.”
Mr. Heiss scoffed. “All right. What about Q.?”
Lou paused, as if listening for something. “He’s around.”
The ground rumbled.
It passed almost as quickly as Seymour felt it, so perhaps he imagined it.
“Then we need to find our wayward brothers so we may proceed as a united front.” Mr. Heiss scowled. “And if Talos or King Zolrya know more than they’re letting on—”
“You’re more than welcome to ask them, brother.” Lou bowed. “You are so very brave and bold. By all means.”
“He wouldn’t!” Myrna gasped. “That would be a very silly thing to do.”
“That’s the point,” Flanders griped from his sunshine spot. “Heiss sucks.”
Seymour couldn’t believe it, but he and Flanders actually agreed on something for once.
Mr. Heiss had been quiet, no doubt thinking over Lou’s sarcastic reply. He apparently chose to ignore it and finally let go of Sariel, saying instead, “What happened to the troll here? Who did this?”
“I did,” Seymour replied, rising to his feet and scooping Day up on his shoulder. “You got a problem with that?”
Mr. Heiss looked over Seymour with the same regard that someone would have for a cockroach. “And still alive.”
“Don’t sound so disappointed.”
Mr. Heiss smiled. “If I wanted you dead, you would be. For now, you’re still useful.”
“Oh, thanks. Love you too.” Seymour rolled his eyes hard. “I’m fine, by the way. Almost died. No biggy. Just trying to do your fuckin’ dirty work so you can get your whatever it—”
Mr. Heiss was on top of Seymour within the space of a breath, his hand on Seymour’s throat and squeezing tight. His eyes blazed flaming red, and he growled, flashing sharp fangs. “Silence that tongue before I rip it out.”
“Seymour!” Day cried, yowling frantically. “I will eat him! I will eat him right now.”
Sariel’s halo glowed, his wings fluttering in obvious agitation. The collar around his neck seemed to throb, and he winced, as if it was causing him physical distress.
Seymour wondered crazily if it felt anything like being choked by a demon—which, by the way, was awful. Definitely not recommended for any sane person. He couldn’t gather enough oxygen to get his voice to work and tell Mr. Heiss what a fantastically ginormous piece of shit he was.
He settled for flipping him off.
Mr. Heiss squeezed tighter.
“Oh, I am definitely eating him!” Day snarled, and her jaw popped as it opened up wide.
Seymour waved at her to stop.
Mr. Heiss blinked, his brow wrinkling.
Seymour was aware he looked like a one-winged chicken trying to dance, but he hoped Mr. Heiss might one day appreciate that he was trying to save him from being eaten alive by an adorable but slightly terrifying kitty girl.
Sariel appeared ready to burst apart at the seams and take a jab at Mr. Heiss too, but he remained where he was, looking on helplessly.
“Let him go,” Lou warned, a growl rumbling through each word. “We don’t have time for this.”
Mr. Heiss sneered and rolled his eyes, but he released Seymour.
Seymour hit the ground, wheezing. “You… are… such a dick.”
Day rushed to his side and cuddled his face, rubbing her cheek insistently against Seymour’s. “Oh, Seymour. Are you okay? I can still eat him if—”
“You.” Mr. Heiss pointed down at Seymour. “Get back to work.”
Day hissed, and Seymour gave her a firm hug.
“The conditions of our deal remain the same,” Mr. Heiss went on, still ignorant to how close he was to becoming a kitty cat snack. “Find the brain. If any monsters fall victim to this scheme because of your incompetence? Trust that you will suffer severely.”
“Okay, but doesn’t that… technically change the conditions?” Seymour croaked. “’Cause before, you just wanted me to find it or else I couldn’t leave the city or whatever. So, which is it? You are real fuckin’ indecisive.”
Mr. Heiss snarled, his nostrils flaring.
“Hey.” Lou grabbed Mr. Heiss’s arm. “We have better uses for our time than fucking around with humans. Our family, our people, are all at risk. We have to find these beacons.”
“Of course, brother,” Mr. Heiss said coldly. “I’ll deal with the meat sack later.” His eyes cut to Sariel. “And you. Don’t get too comfortable. When this is over, we’re going to have a long, long conversation to make sure you understand your place. With a firm reminder, if need be.”
Sariel bowed his head. “Yes, master.”
Mr. Heiss shot Lou a stern frown. “We’ll be in touch.”
Seymour waved. “Bye bye. Go fuck yourself. Hope you get your dick stuck in a cheese grater.”
Mr. Heiss gave Seymour one final revolted sneer and then vanished.
Seymour spat at the ground. “Asshole.”
Sariel immediately flew to Seymour’s side, dropping beside him so he could wrap his wings around him and Day. He hugged Day and cradled Seymour’s head in his lap as he asked worriedly, “Are you all right?”
Seymour closed his eyes, savoring Sariel’s gentle touch. “I’m finer than frog’s hair.”
“Frogs still do not—”
“I know!”
Lou groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He huffed at Seymour. “What the fuck are you thinking?”
“Ah, no, you’re right. I shoulda told him to get his dick stuck in a rusty cheese grater.” Seymour threw up a finger gun and clicked his tongue. “Noted.”
“Ha ha,” Flanders piped up.
“Shush!” Myrna swatted at the air in Flanders’ direction. “He can hear you.”
“I know.”
Lou sighed. “Mr. Madison? You are by far the stupidest fucking human I’ve ever met.”
“Oh, cool.” Seymour grinned. “You are the ugliest werewolf I’ve ever met, and there’s been at least four, like, maybe five today.”
Lou stared flatly. “You’re fucking the angel.”
“Technically he’s been fucking me—”
“Be careful,” Lou cut in. His expression softened as he nodded at Sariel. “Both of you. Mr. Heiss is very particular with his property, and that unfortunately includes Sariel. That is going to be a problem to deal with later if things go well.”
Seymour tensed. “Okay. What if they go bad?”
“Won’t matter much to me. I’ll be dead.”
“Oh. Uh, ’cause you’ll be dead.”
Sariel squeezed Seymour. “All of us will be.”
“Well. Fuck.”
From off to the side, Dagobert sighed loudly. “We can worry about dying later.” He gave the crystal a delicate wiggle. “Will someone please take this wretched thing before I vomit?”
Seymour coughed out a laugh. “What would you even vomit? Blood?”
“Yes,” Dagobert shrieked, his eyes cutting into Seymour. “Understand that unless this is an experience you would enjoy having for yourself and or be on the receiving end of, you will take this awful thing right now.”
“Ten-four.”
They left the old garage with the crystal, no blood vomit required, and Seymour drove Sariel and Day back through the city after reattaching the key from his father to his key ring.
He honestly didn’t have a destination in mind, only a singular desire to get as far away from that place as possible.
Really, he wanted to hit the city limits and keep going, but he knew he couldn’t.
There was no way he could leave now.
Not only was Sariel potentially at risk, but so was every single monster in the city.
There were one or two Seymour wouldn’t have minded so much if something bad was going to happen—cough cough, Mr. Heiss—but there were plenty more who were likely innocent and didn’t deserve whatever nasty fate awaited them.
Like Sariel.
Beautiful, kind, and sweet Sariel.
It was growing late, the sun vanishing behind the buildings towering around them. It felt like a cage, the bars closing in faster and faster, and Seymour’s mind was spinning too fast to think clearly.
“Seymour?” Day asked.
“Mmm? What is it, baby girl?”
Day blinked her big eyes up at him. “I’m hungry.”
Seymour laughed. “Already?”
“Those monsters didn’t taste very good, and I would very much like some milk?”
“Uh…” Seymour scanned the street up ahead. “Hey, uh, do you like McDonald’s?”
“Do they have milk?”
“Yes.” Sariel nodded. “There is also chocolate.”
“Then yes!”