Chapter 22
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
The first thing Seymour realized was that he could no longer hear the burning man screaming.
While that was a relief, he then saw that Sariel and Shiloh were gone. He and Day were standing in a new room he had never seen before, and they were far from alone.
Lou, Absolis, Vilanos, and Mr. Heiss were all here.
Fuckin’ hellfire.
The space was round, dark, and the walls were lined with giant overflowing bookshelves.
There was no overhead lighting, only some sconces hung up between windows covered in thick drapes.
A circular table was positioned in the very center of the room, and there were five fancy chairs set up around it.
One was bigger than the rest, and the man seated there was one Seymour did not know.
He was Black, handsome, and had a goatee with a few tiny hints of silver. He reminded Seymour of a high school principal—firm, probably grumpy, and definitely not the kind of man who would take any shit.
Well, monster anyway.
Seymour figured this must be that Q. guy, though he didn’t see any tentacles.
Probably for the best.
Lou stood, nearly knocking his chair back as he growled low. “What the fuck were you idiots doing in Faerie?”
“Exsqueeze me?” Seymour narrowed his eyes, and his tongue officially took off on its own.
“I was fuckin’ doin’ my job for those assholes—” He pointed at Absolis and Vilanos.
“—so I could get that asshole—” He pointed at Mr. Heiss.
“—off my dick! Seein’ as how all of this bullshit is probably connected, figured trackin’ down that damn robot brain was the best thing I could do to make sure nobody gets all musically murdered or what the fuck ever! ”
Mr. Heiss remained seated, but his eyes burned into Seymour’s as he snarled quietly, “By all means, keep being disrespectful in our house. I promise you it will not end well.”
“Disrespectful?” Seymour spat. “Oh, I ain’t even begun to be disrespectful, you absolute motherfuckin’—”
Day clamped her paws over his mouth. “Seymour!”
Myrna peeked out from behind Lou and waved. “Probably best to behave a teeny bit here!” she whispered loudly. “Everyone is in a dreadfully awful mood.”
Seymour shook his head, but Day wouldn’t move her paws. He couldn’t think of what else to do, so he stuck out his tongue to lick them.
“Ew!” Day squealed and jerked away.
“As I was sayin’!” Seymour huffed. “You absolute motherfuckin’ piece of refried dog shit! Yeah, lookin’ like somebody chewed you up once and spat you out twice!” He stalked toward Mr. Heiss. “What the hell have you done with Sariel?”
Mr. Heiss didn’t react other than his eyes flicking over Seymour up and down in a bored sort of way. Maybe he was measuring him for a casket. “Take a step back before I pull your heart out through your throat and yank that nasty tongue out along with it.”
“How ’bout you open up real wide and have yourself a big, juicy bowl of my fuckin’ balls—”
The table rattled, and the patterns in the wood grain swirled around to form words.
I Am frreeeeee
FREEEEE
NO PRISON CAN HOLD ME
I AM ALMIGHTY
I AM INCREDIBLE
I AM IZBA
I AM ugh oh still NoT FEELing Very WELL
Q. actually smiled. “Hello, old friend.”
Seymour couldn’t believe how happy he was to see a familiar face.
Well, familiar writing anyway.
SHILOH?
SHILOH SHILOH SHILOH ShiLoooh
“He is safe,” Q. replied, giving Seymour a small glance. “He and the angel are resting. Please trust that we are taking excellent care of them both.”
YES
YoU haD BETTER bEeeeEE
Lou frowned. “What is wrong with him? Why is he talking like that?”
“It would seem that merging with the physical matter in Faerie created some unique side effects.” Q. chuckled and gave the table a gentle pat. “It is good you did not stay there too long, old friend, or you might not have been able to separate yourself.”
YES
WE MuST KEEP THEM SEPARATED
DUN DUNN DUNNN DUNN DUN oof OW hURTS to LAUGH
I AM GOING TO FIND SHILOH
GoodBYEEEE
The table rattled, and the words vanished.
“Now.” Q. folded his fingers together. “Shall we discuss these new revelations?”
Mr. Heiss rolled his eyes. “That the meat bag is excessively rude and annoying?”
“That the mostri ribelli have been hiding in the Crossroads to elude detection,” Q. replied, his friendly demeanor quickly morphing into steel. “A possibility I once proposed and was told was impossible.”
“That is not our fault,” Absolis said coldly.
“Not our fault at all,” added Vilanos with equal ice. “Faerie has been looking for them.”
“Every fae, sprite, pixie!”
“Our wards, our princes, everyone.”
“Everyone.”
“And yet no one thought to check the Crossroads?” Q. demanded, his voice filling the room and echoing with unnatural reverberations.
Absolis and Vilanos flinched, and their eyes turned black. There was no other sign of their impending transformation, though Seymour saw them reach for each other’s hands under the table.
“The Crossroads is unstable and exists within fragments of time,” Vilanos said. “It is now, never, and—”
“Every time in between,” finished Absolis. “It is impossible to search in any effective manner—”
“—but this does confirm at least one thing.”
“Yes, one thing.”
“Which is what?” Mr. Heiss snapped. “That you’re both absolute morons?”
Vilanos and Absolis exchanged a worried look, and Absolis said quietly, “That they must have a high-ranking member of the fae amongst them. It could be a duke or even a prince…”
“Only royalty would have the power to traverse that part of our kingdom safely,” added Vilanos.
“Straighten out your house,” Mr. Heiss said with a nasty smile. “If you are unable to, I will be more than happy to assist you.”
“That is not necessary,” Absolis started.
“Not necessary at all!” Vilanos cried.
“There are thousands of innocent souls in this city at risk and you are telling me it is not necessary, you ridiculous little cunts?” Mr. Heiss snarled furiously, the table cracking before him.
Absolis and Vilanos were on their feet in an instant, eyes black and teeth sharp, growling back in reply as the color drained from their flesh until they were both a deep, rich shade of gray.
The air around them shifted between darkness and flashes of strange light, and the air had a sickly sweet smell to it.
Mr. Heiss met their unspoken challenge by rising from his seat and transforming into his demonic form, flames blazing from his crown so high they scorched the ceiling. His chair was instantly charred, falling back behind him in a plume of smoke as the wood continued to burn.
Myrna mumbled under her breath, “Make a mess. Quickly.”
“Not yet,” Lou muttered back, though the seams of his suit were obviously bulging.
Flanders was there now, posed on the other side of Lou, teeth bared and ready to strike.
Seymour cleared his throat. “So, uh, should we just… go?” he whispered.
“I don’t know,” Day whispered back. “Everyone is very angry.”
“So, we should go.”
“Maybe?”
“Yes?”
“Okay, yes.”
“Good, let’s just—”
Any intention Seymour had of attempting to escape this room was shelved when the entire space vibrated.
It was a low tone, something deep and strange, and he could feel it back in his teeth.
It was…
It was Q.
Q.’s eyes narrowed and turned black, though it wasn’t quite the same way that the princes’ did.
His eyes simply looked empty, as if everything inside his head was an inky void of nothing.
Light no longer reflected there, and Seymour had to take a few steps back, struck by the possibly not so irrational fear that he’d be sucked right into them.
“Stop this senseless bickering at once,” Q.
commanded, not moving anything but a single finger to tap the edge of the table to punctuate the order.
His voice hadn’t risen in volume but still managed to fill every inch of the room.
“We have a city to save. Lives to protect. An enemy to stop. Do you understand?”
There was silence, but Absolis, Vilanos, and Mr. Heiss all quietly reverted to their human forms.
Q. stared at Seymour—that is, his creepy empty eye sockets turned in his direction. “Did you see anything while in the Crossroads that may assist us?”
“Uh.” Seymour gulped.
“The brain!” Day whispered. “We saw the brain!”
“Yeah, the, uh, the brain!” Seymour stood taller now. “There was this guy, this snake kinda lookin’ guy, and he definitely had a magical brain.”
“Where is he now?” Q. asked sternly.
“He got away,” Seymour replied, his stomach jumping up and tying itself into a knot. “I saw him leave. I think? Through one of those doorways in the Crossroads. It was a tree. Definitely a tree, but like, looking up at it? It was—”
“Enough.” Q. held up his hand, and he shot a glare at Absolis and Vilanos. “Find it.”
“Yes, sir,” the twins repeated in unison.
“You.” Q. looked now to Mr. Heiss. “Take Lou and secure the city. Get everyone out that you can. No one is safe here until we find that brain.”
“Yes, sir.” Mr. Heiss bowed his head.
Lou nodded respectfully. “Right away, sir.”
Seymour glanced around before asking, “And, uh, what about me? Sir?”
“You?” Q. managed a small, amused smile. “What about you?”
“I’m supposed to be findin’ that brain, sir.” Seymour swallowed hard. “Pretty worried about Sariel and Shiloh too. I wanna help. Just tell me what to do, and I can—”
“Mr. Heiss.” Q. smirked. “Keep the mortal safe for me, will you? We may have need of him later.”
Mr. Heiss scowled, but he said, “Of course, sir.”
“Ha! Hear that, fucker?” Seymour grinned.
“What I hear is that you’re going to be in the way, so I get to remove you,” Mr. Heiss said smoothly.
“Remove me safely. You have to protect my poor, squishy, mortal body. You gotta—”
Mr. Heiss snapped his fingers.
The room spun, shifted, and Seymour was now standing in Sariel’s living room. He reached up to make sure Day was still with him before calling out, “Sariel?”
There was no answer.
Day took a big breath and hollered at the top of her lungs, “Sariel!”