Chapter 24 #2
“Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted,” Mr. Heiss taunted as he tucked King away into his jacket, the entire skull vanishing. He gave the chain another cruel yank. “Maybe I’ll come back and fuck Seymour myself just to see what all the fuss is about.”
“No!” Sariel tried to push himself, but he went down again. “Master, please—”
“Oh, that’s it!” Day snarled, and her jaw popped as it unhinged.
“Fuckin’ get him… kitty girl!” Seymour growled between heaving pants. “I am sick… of this shit and—”
“Do not let her hurt Mr. Heiss,” Lou said quietly.
“Oh dear.” Myrna frowned as she looked around. “I suppose it is quite messy here. I can work with that. I… I really don’t want to.”
Lou shook his head. “Don’t clean it up.”
Flanders trotted over with a bored sigh. “This is stupid.”
Day growled. “I do not wish to, but I will fight you if I must!”
“Oh!” Myrna pouted sadly. “That didn’t sound good.”
“It ain’t!” Seymour shouted. “She will fuck you all up!”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Flanders put himself between Day and Mr. Heiss, the fiery chunks on his sides glowing brighter.
“Myrna!” Lou barked. “I said, don’t clean it up!”
Myrna’s left shoulder bulged outward, and she was getting bigger very fast. Her skin turned red and purple, then almost black, and her left arm continued to grow until her hand was big enough to have choked the wyrm out with one squeeze.
“The question,” Absolis and Vilanos said in a little singsong voice.
“Goddammit! What?” Seymour screamed. “What is it? What the fuck is so important? Kinda tryin’ to do somethin’ here!”
“Do you have a family?” Absolis asked sweetly.
“Yes, tell us about your family,” Vilanos said with a grin. “That is what we want to know.”
“Your gift to us will be telling us about your family.”
“My what now?” Seymour’s thoughts spun. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about? I, I don’t have a—”
But he did.
Sariel and Day.
They were his family.
“Them!” Seymour pointed. “Day! She’s like the lil’ sister I never had!
Or like the kid I never knew I even wanted until she popped into my damn life, and now I can’t imagine a fuckin’ second without her!
Hearin’ her laugh, seein’ her smile. And Sariel—” His voice cracked.
“Bein’ with him is like comin’ home. He’s everything I’ve ever fuckin’ wanted, and there is nothin’ on this whole green earth I won’t do to be with him—”
It is the terms of our deal that binds me to him.
That I am his until my family comes to claim me…
Which, of course, I know they never will.
Oh, fuckin’ hellfire.
Mr. Heiss rolled his eyes, dragging Sariel toward the doorway. “Lou, if you or your mate have any affection for this flesh bag, get him out of the city. Once I have Sariel back home, I am going to kill him if I—”
“Hey!” Seymour fought against the squeeze in his chest, grunting as he struggled to stay upright. He dropped to one knee, shouting, “Hey! You! Fuck ass! I claim him!”
Mr. Heiss stopped mid-step. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me!” Seymour wheezed. “I claim him!”
“Me too!” Day shouted, even though Mr. Heiss couldn’t hear her. She was at Seymour’s side now, grabbing his hip to help him stand.
“We fuckin’ claim him! And we’re his goddamn family, you motherfucker! We love him! I—” Seymour put his hand down on Day’s paw. “I love him.”
Sariel gasped, and his golden eyes glowed even as they filled with tears.
Seymour held his head high. “So, how ’bout you go sit on a traffic cone sideways, get fucked, and give me my goddamn angel?”
Mr. Heiss turned around then, the fire in his crown and in his gaze burning like an inferno. “Oh, I’ll give you something. You worthless, impudent, little—”
Clink.
It was Sariel’s collar.
It had fallen off and hit the ground.
Sariel touched his bare throat, eyes wide, staring at the collar.
Myrna screamed, both her regular-sized hand and giant one flailing excitedly.
“What the fuck just happened?” Seymour asked, his voice hushed and trembling. “It… It fuckin’ worked?”
“It worked!” Day wailed as she ran forward. She leapt into Sariel’s arms and rubbed her face against his cheek. “It worked, it worked, it worked—”
“The terms of any deal are very important,” Vilanos said sweetly.
“So very important,” echoed Absolis.
“Every word holds power.”
“So much power.”
Lou smiled. “Leave it to the fae to find a damn loophole.”
Flanders grunted and curled up on the ground, drawling, “Yay. I’m going to take a nap now.”
“This is wonderful!” Myrna cheered as she reverted to her normal form. “Oh, Seymour! Sariel! Congratulations, sweeties!”
“Wow.” Seymour laughed hysterically, joy bubbling out of every pore. “Holy shit. It’s amazing! It’s—”
Mr. Heiss grabbed him by the throat and lifted him high in the air. “Your last act on this world has been pissing me off. Congratulations. Time to die.”
Seymour gurgled and kicked weakly.
Well, shit.
“This Mr. Heiss really is a fuckin’ bastard, isn’t he?” King’s voice asked from wherever he was hidden inside Mr. Heiss’s coat.
Seymour heard Day yowling, no doubt coming to help.
But Sariel was faster.
Sariel grabbed Mr. Heiss’s arm, transformed into his massive angelic form with every eye bursting with golden fire. He looked like a gorgeous vengeful god, and Mr. Heiss was absolutely pathetic in comparison. Sariel’s voice was a low roar as he snarled, “Let him go.”
Seymour really wished he could tell Sariel how unbelievably hot he was right now, but he was still being strangled.
Mr. Heiss scowled, his own body bulging and warping as he grew bigger. “You dare to fucking touch me? To defy me? After everything I did for you—ow! What the fuck?”
Day had latched on to Mr. Heiss’s leg and growled through a mouthful of his thigh. “Ah will eath him raugh now!”
“If you don’t want to lose that leg, I’d let go of the human,” Lou said with a smug smile. “Pretty safe to say you’ve lost this one, brother.”
“Very safe indeed,” cooed Absolis.
“So safe,” added Vilanos.
“Can I be safe?” King asked. “Away from the giant arsehole please?”
“Such weakness isn’t a surprise from you, Louis.” Mr. Heiss ignored King, turning his hateful gaze on the twins. “But you two are siding with the meat bag? Really?”
“Our king is fond of him,” Absolis said with a shrug.
“Very fond,” confirmed Vilanos. “And what our king wants—”
“He gets. But by all means, if you’d like to murder his new favorite mortal right in front of him?”
“Please.”
“Please. Be our guest.”
Mr. Heiss glanced toward Zolrya, who had finished reducing Jerry into a field of flowers and was now picking a few to make a small bouquet. Mr. Heiss sneered in obvious annoyance, but he released Seymour’s throat.
Seymour gasped for air and clung to Sariel, hissing out, “Fuckin’... fuck…!”
“Tell your pet to let go of me,” Mr. Heiss drawled.
Day growled.
“Day,” Sariel soothed as he cradled Seymour in his arms. “Release him, please.”
“He ain’t gonna taste good, remember?” Seymour wheezed.
“Yeah!” King yelled. “Gonna taste like arsehole!”
Day fussed, but she did as she was asked, her jaw clicking back into place. “Fine. Hmmph.” She marched over to Sariel and Seymour, hopping up into Seymour’s arms. She hugged them both tight and purred. “He’s not worth the indigestion.”
Mr. Heiss stared furiously at the tiny holes in his suit pants from Day’s teeth, and the fabric melded back together. He pointed at Seymour, snarling, “I will not forget this insult. Without me to protect you now, there is—”
“Hey, Sariel,” Lou piped up. “Wanna come work for me instead of the asshole?”
“What?”
“Yes,” Sariel said quickly. “I accept.”
“Q. will never let this stand,” Mr. Heiss seethed. “Sariel remains a creature of the Celestial and therefore will answer to me.”
“Only if he does anything wrong, of course. But we both know that is very unlikely to happen.” Lou winked. “He is an angel, after all.”
Mr. Heiss’s rage was palpable.
And pretty damn awesome, ha!
Still visibly boiling, Mr. Heiss stalked toward the doorway to take his leave.
“Are we leaving now?” King asked. “Am I going with the arsehole? Oh, this is just fine. I am going to have the best time. Pure brilliant.” He took a deep breath to shout, “Someone save me!”
“Shut up,” Mr. Heiss grumbled.
“Talking skull. Not a shutting up one. Especially for big, gaping, dripping, arse—”
The door slammed shut, and Mr. Heiss and King were gone.
Seymour sagged in relief, clinging to Sariel and Day both. “Holy fuck.” He gave Lou an appreciative smile. “Thanks for that. The whole, uh, hiring Sariel thing?”
“Yes, thank you.” Sariel smiled. “I appreciate it, Mr. Morénas-Mostro.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” Lou chuckled dryly. “Trust he is going to go crying to Q. about it. I will do what I can to make sure you stay in my employment.” He smirked. “Also, don’t mistake this for anything other than my own selfish desire to recruit a powerful Celestial creature.”
“So, totally not being nice at all?” Seymour teased.
“He is very nice,” Myrna whispered. “But usually when no one is looking.”
“Crap taste in shoes though,” Flanders grumbled.
Lou sighed and rubbed his brow. “We’re leaving now.” He looked to Sariel. “We’ll meet on Monday. Unless Heiss has a full bitch fit and we need to speak to Q. sooner.”
“Understood, master.” Sariel nodded and then cringed. “Ah, my apologies.”
Lou grimaced. “Sir is just fine, Sariel. Rest. Heal up. All right?”
“Yes, sir.”
Lou waved at Myrna and Flanders. “Time to go.”
“Of course!” Myrna obediently trotted over to Lou’s side.
Flanders didn’t move.
Myrna waved. “Take care, sweeties! I’m sure we’ll be seeing you very soon!”
“Soon,” Seymour promised. “Hey, Lou! Don’t suppose you know any places renting?”
“None to humans,” Lou replied, not looking back as he headed to the door.
“Hey! That’s fucked up!” Seymour scowled. “What about buying? I’m a millionaire now, you know!”
“Good luck!” Lou waved, stepping through the doorway and shutting the door behind him, Myrna and Flanders vanishing too.
“Dick.” Seymour snorted affectionately.