Chapter 23 #2
Tadeo breathed: “You’re lying.” But he could hardly hear Satan, his face twitching, his entire body leaning away. He was hardly thinking, only feeling. Confusion, bewilderment. “You’re wrong.” There was a sudden churn in his stomach however, like it was attached to a gear.
Satan laughed in his face. “Do you think God turns anyone into a beast? Do you think God would make something as awful as what you become?” Desperately, Tadeo turned to Dina but his brown skin was a shade too pale and his eyes were wide, almost bloodshot in what might’ve been terror, perhaps fury at the devil; the angel, however, wasn’t negating Satan’s words.
“You know the truth, Tadeo. You can’t argue.
You’re the anti-Christ. You’re the Beast. You are the end times. ”
“I’m not!” Tadeo shouted helplessly. “I’m no anti-Christ! You’re a liar, Satan! I’ve only done good, all in the name of God—”
“What does it matter if you do it in His name? God has a plan for you; do you think you can fight it?”
“You’re tempting me,” Tadeo spat, but he was shaking again, wanting to run, his skin hurting like it was pulled too tight over his muscles.
‘The thing in me. The beast. It wants to tear out of me.’ His breath nearly hitched.
‘No, it’s not a beast! It’s not a beast!
I’m no beast!’ “Like you did to Jesus in the desert!”
“The anti-Christ compares himself to Jesus,” Satan teased. “That is in Revelation too, isn’t it?”
“Don’t quote the scripture at me!” Tadeo snarled, this time a guttural rasp slipping between the syllables of a deeper, monstrous voice that was not his own, was not Tadeo.
A beast, a beast. Immediately, the human slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes almost bulging out.
‘No.’ His back stung, and he could feel his skin knotting up at the back of his ribs, the sensation bringing a grimace to an already pained back.
“Oh,” Satan continued to giggle, “of course. The scripture is only correct when the right person says it, isn’t it?
Some interpretations are wrong, some are right.
God never says which. God is always silent.
Even when you were mutilated, murdered, He did not say a word to you.
He does not care about you. He does not love you.
And you know that too, you know that as well as you do that I’m not responsible for your suffering.
This world is utter rot, and it is because of men, and God knows to end it as well as I do.
He has chosen you to be the apocalypse.”
Dina tried to speak: “Satan, leave us! Or I will call upon God and all the archangels. I will have them throw you into the lake of fire!”
“With the boy?” Satan answered, voice as serene and light as it must’ve sounded in Heaven. “That would be lovely, wouldn’t it? Me and my child — burning together.”
This time, the angel drew a sharp breath, one then both of his feet staggering to bring him backward some steps.
“What?” he breathed. “Child?” Quick, Dina flickered his gaze to the boy standing beside his horse, his eyes wide, lips parted.
“That isn’t true.” ‘Apsinthos,’ he helplessly called.
‘That isn’t true, is it?’ But now the star was silent, and the stare of Tadeo was endless, digging into itself like nail pressing into a wound.
Satan didn’t address the angel. “Tadeo, come with me.” The boy could only continue to stare.
“No one knows your rage like I do, and I’m the only one who can help you destroy this place for good.
It’s what you want. How long will you allow this angel to deceive you?
How long will you be the lapdog for those who are using you for their own gain?
The people here have abandoned you, tortured you, scorned you.
That angel is using you to gain the favor of his Lord, not because he cares for this world or for you. ”
“That’s not true!” Dina hissed, shock fading to anger once more. “You’re the deceiver!”
“Come with me,” Satan said once more, “Tadeo.”
But then the anti-Christ cackled, shaking his head, throwing his hands in the air like he’d just witnessed a great performance on stage or in a circus.
“Come with you!” he taunted, shoulders shaking with his laughter.
“How much of what you’ve said are lies, devil?
! Was it only the part of me being your child or was it the anti-Christ thing too? ”
Satan laughed right back at him. “You know the truth. Deny me all you like but you can’t deny who you are.”
Tadeo grappled the front of his saddle with one hand, then shoved one boot onto a stirrup before yanking his body up, onto the horse.
“Bullshit.” He took the reins, nodded at the angel, and said, “Dina, let’s check in on my family.
If they tell me that there’s nothing I need to handle, then we’re going back for the soldier. ”
“Anti-Christ,” came Satan’s voice, low, bristled with irritation in a way that Tadeo wanted to laugh and say was very parental.
“You know the truth. The angel is deceiving you. You’re the destroyer of Earth, and you are the son of the devil.
If you continue to deny your rage, your world will just grow more rotten and evil. ”
Jerking his chin at the angel again, Tadeo watched as Dina’s wings unfolded from his back, beat once to toss him into the air enough to fall onto the saddle behind the young man elegantly.
Then, Tadeo turned back to Satan, smiled mockingly.
“I have my father’s eyes,” he replied simply.
“The color and the shape of them. And I have the exact texture of his hair. And his nose.” He tilted his head, flaunting the side profile of his face.
“So don’t you try to trick me that you could ever,” he suddenly snapped, “be my father.”
Satan stared, expression like stone.
And, without waiting for a proper response, Tadeo swirled saliva in his mouth, then spat it at the ground between where he’d been standing and where the devil was, the breeze still tossing his hair beautifully, his cassock ruffled by the wind.
Dina’s arms went around Tadeo’s ribs to hold himself steady, wings still partly out.
“You will burn,” said the boy, “as God promised you would, and I will be His sword if I have to. I will cast you down. And I will save this world from ending. I am no anti-Christ. I am no son of yours. I’m just a man trying to be a saint.
Now, go back to Hell where you belong!” He tugged on the reins harshly, encouraging the horse into a walk, then a gallop, quickly.
But both Tadeo and Dina half-expected the devil to come after them, somehow — maybe do away with his disguise, peel back his pretty flesh to reveal the grotesque Beast that he was, lower himself onto all fours, then chase after them.
Satan, however, remained still, where he was, watching the angel and his anti-Christ as they sped further and further away.
Tadeo couldn’t help but think of how the image of the devil turning into a Beast could be so reminiscent of the current turmoil beneath his skin, and so he frowned deeply, shifting his attention back to the street before him just as a turn approached.
It was all he could do to try to stop his mind from wandering, from even taking a second to seriously consider any of the devil’s words. He knew better. And yet.
Dina bit down on his wobbling bottom lip, his heart erratic and twitching in his chest. ‘It can’t be true that Satan is his father.
’ Tadeo was right; he had very distinctive features of the human father he’d lost. ‘But why lie about this? To convince Tadeo to join him?’ The angel turned back again, but Satan was gone.
‘And did he… believe I’m here to save the world, after all? ’
Tadeo, meanwhile, was trembling, his breath unstable and feeling like it teetered on an edge.
However horrifying it was to be told by Satan that you had his blood running through his veins and that you were a weapon to end time — Tadeo was far more distraught by the devil mentioning that day he’d died.
‘You didn’t send them after me.’ Tadeo had never in his life thought that Satan had secretly ordered soldiers to kill him, especially not the way he had, and yet he was utterly sweating, itchy, tensed by Satan stressing that fact.
‘It’s not about that day. It’s about how maybe Satan isn’t behind any evil acts at all.
He’s not responsible for this war or any wars.
’ But if Satan wasn’t responsible for this evil, then what evils was he responsible for? Was it any of them?
As they continued onward, the sun beginning to set, the sky blooming red as the fires of Hell — ‘Tell me that this is the devil’s work, God. Tell me that men slaughter, rape, war, genocide because of the devil. Don’t tell me this evil is human. Don’t tell me that this is just us.’