Chapter Seven
Jenny ~ Past
Iwatch Raffe and my son through the crack in the door. It’s just like I dreamed it would be, but in my dream, I was sitting beside him and the baby between us was ours.
But they can never be mine.
I’m going to be sick to my stomach. I hurry down the hall and into the bathroom to splash water on my face. I’ve got to get it together, because my ride will be here to pick me up in a few minutes.
After a quick pep talk, I order myself to go back to my room. I make sure not to pass by the room Raffe was in a second time. I cannot risk it. If he sees me, it’s over, and that would put all three of us in jeopardy. It’s not just the senator I’m worried about either.
I’ve always known I’d never be free of them.
Rudy holds the car door open for me after the nurse walks me down to leave. When I slide into the backseat, I inwardly groan. What the hell is he doing here?
“I’m heading to the airport,” he answers my question without me even asking. He rips the paperwork from my hand to peruse over the postpartum instructions from the hospital.
The way he sighs makes me murderous, but I remind myself all of this is almost over.
He shoves the papers against my chest. “My wife is demanding that you are gone before she and Lily return from Paris.”
My stomach turns at the thought of what that might mean.
“You’re ending up to be a heck of an investment. They’re giving me double what I originally paid for you. Sounds like they still find you useful, so I’m afraid our time together is coming to an end.”
When he reaches across the seat to squeeze my knee, my skin begins to crawl with a thousand insects.
“I see you’re not able to …” He makes a crude motion with his hands.
If only his constituents knew who they voted for. Or maybe they do, and they simply don’t care.
I couldn’t hide the disgust on my face if I tried, but luckily for me he doesn’t notice.
“Since this is goodbye, I’m sure you’ll agree it would only be right to leave me with a parting gift.” He reaches over, places his hand on the back of my head, and pushes it toward his lap.
Are you kidding me? I just gave birth to his child, and this is the way he …
My mind slips away as soon as his musky scent hits my face.
Today I’m helping Mom pick tomatoes in her garden. I can hear the mower on the other side of the house as Daddy cuts the grass. The sun is warm on my face as dragonflies zip over my head.
Dragonflies have always been my favorite insect.
My ears perk up when I hear a dirt bike down the block. My mama gives me a knowing look.
“I’ll be home by supper time,” I plead.
She tips her head to the side, checking to see that my dad is still busy. “Take those tomatoes in the house and wash up first.”
I rush over to her and hug her around the neck. “Thank you!”
When I get to the corner, Raffe’s waiting for me. He gets off his bike and hands me a helmet. “Wanna ride down by the creek?”
I nod, taking the helmet from him. My daddy would kill me if he knew I was getting on a dirt bike, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
I hug my friend around the waist, squealing happily when he gives it a little gas.
The asshole pulls my hair, lifting my head when he’s finished. I sit back, taking several deep breaths, because I feel like I’m going to throw up.
Rudy kindly reaches behind the seat, handing me a bottle of water. If it wasn’t for Rudy and Lily, I wouldn’t have survived this long.
I glance out the window, rolling my eyes when I see he isn’t dropping me off at home before heading to the airport.
Great.
The asshole leans over and kisses my cheek when we arrive at his destination. “It has been fun,” he tells me, giving me one final glance before slipping through the sliding doors of the building.
Rudy opens my door. “Hop out for a minute.”
I watch as he places a pillow on my seat. “My wife always sat on a pillow after …” He averts his gaze from mine.
“Thank you,” I say, settling on the soft cushion. “That’s much better.”
He nods and goes back to the front seat, directing the driver to take us home to the mansion.
I spend a few days making sure Lily has everything she’ll need to make the escape we planned. I feel bad I’m not going with her, but it will only put her in danger if I do. She has a better chance without me. Besides, I’d never risk them coming anywhere near her.
But now it’s time for me to go. I’ve got to get out of here before they come for me.
Rudy’s eyes follow me as I jog down the stairs. “Going for a walk?”
“Yep,” I say, shielding my eyes to look at him.
He knows I’m up to something, but he doesn’t draw attention or stop me. “Alright,” he says simply.
“I’ll catch you on the flip side.” I salute him before quickly turning away.
When I get to the bridge, I take a minute to reminisce over the day Lily pulled me over the edge. There’s no chance the dragonfly will be dropping off any angels today. I’m pretty sure that’s a one-time thing.
I look to the left, making eye contact with a young woman who looks about my age. We stare at each other for a long moment. We’re here to do the same thing.
“Jenny!”
I turn away from her at the sound of my name being called. Raffe’s wife is waving her arms wildly as she makes her way toward me. She’s the woman I chose to be the mother of my child.
My brain is so confused. How does she know my name?
She hurries forward, and it takes everything in me not to hurl myself over the railing. When she gets within arm’s reach, I begin to back away.
“Wait, please don’t go,” she pleads, stopping in her tracks to keep me from retreating more.
I watch as she tries to tame her wild hair as the wind gusts around her.
“How do you know me?” I ask.
“I saw you watching Raffe, and … I was in the restroom.”
Oh no. My heart starts to beat fast as I try to remember what I said as I splashed water on my face.
“But I know you because my husband talks about you all of the time.” She scratches her head. “Um, I have a room. We could go there and visit,” she encourages.
My head falls back, and I stare at the clouds. Why do you always find a way to stop me?
Suddenly, screams break out around us as the young woman I saw earlier falls over the edge of the bridge.
I rush to the railing and watch as the water violently swallows her body.
It’s brutal. Not only does it steal the breath from her lungs, it also completely knocks the air out of mine. I double over, gasping.
Rachel wraps her arm across my shoulders. “Please let me help you,” she whispers.
I allow her to tug me away from the bridge.
Oh my god. That could have been me.
When we’re alone in her car, I begin to tremble from the shock of what I’ve just witnessed. I woke up this morning sure that my fate would be the same as that girl’s. But here I am … sitting with Raffe’s wife, safe in her car.
“I’m not sure if you came here to take your life, but if you did, that’s not the answer.”
I let out a rude little laugh. “And you think you’ve got a better one?”
She sits up straight and looks me in the eye. “Do you love your son?”
“He’s your son.” I turn away from her.
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
“Then stay for him.”
“He has you.”
“What if something happens to me? Then what?”
My head slowly turns back to her. “What do you mean?”
“What if I get in a car accident or get … sick?” She shrugs her shoulders.
I lay my head back. “Then he has Raffe and your family. I saw the photo in the file, remember? You have an entire club.”
“No one will love him like his mother can,” she says quietly.
I think of my own mother, and I know in my heart what this woman is saying is true. No one loved me like my mom did. I didn’t really understand just how much until the nurse laid my son against my chest. In that moment, I knew I could never love anything more.
“They’ll come for me if I run. They said they’d hurt my family,” I explain.
“We’ll figure something out.”
I turn away from her. “I’m not interested in returning to my previous life,” I tell her.
She’s quiet for a long moment before speaking. “He loves you, Jenny.”
“He loves someone who doesn’t exist anymore. She died a long time ago.”
I know she wants to say something else, but she doesn’t. She starts the car and heads toward the hotel instead.
Honestly, I don’t blame her. I don’t really know what to say either.
This is crazy.