Chapter Thirty
Raffe
The smile on her face makes me wonder if she knows I’m watching her. Can she feel my eyes? She stands and stretches before moving to another section of garden.
I don’t know how, but I slept all night and well into the late morning. When I finally opened my peepers, there was a note laying on the coffee table for me. It said she had left my breakfast in the oven, and she would be outside.
The smell of blueberry pancakes wafts out of the oven as soon as I open it. My stomach growls loudly. I grab my plate, along with the glass syrup bottle she left on the counter, and head outside.
She looks up at the sound of the door. Her smile widens, and she waves. I give her one in return, holding my plate up to show her I’m eating alfresco. She nods and holds up a finger, letting me know she’ll join me in a minute.
I watch as she finishes what she’s doing. She wipes her hands on the apron she’s wearing before filling it with the flowers she’s gathered.
The sun breaks through the trees, setting a golden halo upon her head. I pinch myself just like I’ve been doing to her. She’s not the only one who is having a hard time believing this is real.
Jenny is here. She’s really here. Safe and sound … mostly. I think there are things she needs to work on, but I still have things too. I think we all do.
Last night was strange. One minute we were happy, then sad, then back to happiness. It was quite an emotional rollercoaster. I suppose it will be that way for a while. All we did was hold onto each other and talk. It was wonderful.
Eventually, we had to let go. She made us a cup of tea, and then we went to sleep.
Her in her bed and me on the couch. I’m okay with that.
I just want to be near her, and this is close enough.
For now. I think I was falling asleep before she even covered me with the blanket. I was so fucking relaxed.
“Hello. Hello!” a familiar voice calls from somewhere toward the front of the house.
Jenny stretches her neck, trying to see who it is as she continues toward me.
Lexie steps around the corner. “Oh, here you are!” she yells, setting her hand over her chest.
I stand up, and Lexie gives me a nervous glance before holding her hand out to Jenny. “I’m Lexie. I was friends with Rachel.”
Jenny takes her hand in hers. “You’re the girl with the letters.”
I get another uneasy look from Lexie. “Uh, yeah, that’s me. They don’t always go as planned, though.”
“Get your ass over here,” I tell her.
As soon as I open my arms, she’s sidestepping plants to get to me. I give her a big hug, patting her back. “It’s okay, Lexie. You’ve been a good friend to my wife. Thank you for that.”
She lets out a little sniffle, crying into my chest. This has been an incredibly heavy burden for her.
“Lexie, Jackson has his mother back. All is good,” I assure her.
Her tear-filled eyes break my heart. “You’re not mad at me?”
“Not at all.”
Jenny takes a few steps closer to us when our visitor begins to pull herself together.
“If you’re here, does that mean …” Jenny’s words trail off as Lexie pulls an envelope from her purse.
“I was supposed to give it to you after the two of you had been reunited.” She steps away from me to hand it to Jenny.
Jenny’s gaze snaps to mine, and my heart squeezes painfully at the look of regret on her face. She feels guilty about our time together yesterday.
Lexie steps between us, blocking her view. “Please read it.” She bounces on her toes anxiously. “Now. I can’t leave until I know you’ve read it.”
“Lexie,” I begin to say. Jenny shouldn’t be forced into reading anything if she’s not ready. It took me weeks to finally open my letter from Rachel.
“No. It’s okay. I’ll read it. I’ll be right back.” She rushes past us and then disappears into the trees.
“She’s not running away, is she?” Lexie asks.
“No. She’s going to her tree.”
“Oh. Geez, she really is a lot like Willow.”
I sigh and sit back down to eat my breakfast. “If you want half of this, go in and grab yourself a plate.”
“Oh, no thank you.” Lexie lowers herself into the chair beside me. Her gaze bounces over my bare chest, and I see the wheels turning in her head.
“Nothing happened,” I tell her.
“I didn’t say it had,” she says innocently, averting her eyes.
“Do I get another letter?” I ask her before taking a bite.
Her mouth turns down at the corners, and I already know the answer before she says it.
“No. There is only one more, and I don’t think it really has anything to do with any of this.” She spins her finger in the air. “But I do have one last message for you.” She looks over her shoulder to make sure we’re still alone. “She wants you to remember the Skull motto.”
I pull my head back. “What the fuck does that mean?”
Her shoulders pull up to her ears. “I really don’t know, Raffe, but it sounds ominous, doesn’t it?”
I reach over and place my hand on her arm. “Hey, it’s fine. Let’s think about this. She wants me to remember the motto. That’s easy. Do whatever it takes to protect those you love.”
“Maybe it’s her way of saying she did all of this to protect you and Jackson,” she says, and I realize she’s been pondering this cryptic message a lot longer than I have.
“I’m sorry she left you with such a heavy burden. That wasn’t very kind of her.”
Lexie leans forward. “Rachel saved my life. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know if I’d be here. She trusted me. No one had ever trusted me so completely. It gave me hope that my life could change. That I could be a good and trustworthy person.”
I swallow hard, looking away from her. Lexie has come so damn far. She’s a completely different person than she was just a few short years ago.
I chuckle sadly. “I’m trying to be angry with her, and you’re not helping,” I say, hanging my head between my shoulders and resting my elbows on my knees.
“I can tell you that when she was working on this project with me, she would stare longingly out the window. She would tell me how excited she was for you to meet Jenny again. I think she was imagining it in her mind’s eye. It always brought a smile to her face.”
I shake my head, not sure how to process any of this information.
“In my opinion, she didn’t do any of this out of spite or jealousy. I think she did it for love. Love makes you do strange things sometimes.”
As if on cue, Jenny steps from the trees and looks up, her lips moving. It’s something she’s always done. She’s reciting a poem. She did it last night too.
“Oh and Dirk said he needs you to get your ass to the warehouse by two to help him move the last of their shit.”
I groan out loud. “Fuck, I don’t want to leave her here.” I look over at Jenny.
“Yeah, I get it, but you don’t want to piss Dirk off right before they leave, do you?”
My eyes go to my watch as soon as Jenny sits down beside me.
“Do you have somewhere to be?” she asks.
“No,” I say at the same time Lexie says “yes.”
“Raffe, if you have somewhere to be, go on. I’m not going anywhere.” She laughs, busying herself with cutting the stems off the flowers she’s gathered.
Lexie nods, and I give her a funny look. She’s trying her hardest to get me out of here.
Jenny jumps from her chair. “Oh, I forgot John is coming for an order in the morning. I have so much to get ready for him. I’m sorry, Raffe. Maybe we can catch up sometime next week.”
My heart protests, squeezing so hard I wonder if I’m about to have a heart attack. I don’t want to leave.
I take that back. It’s not that I don’t want to leave, it’s that I want her to come with me when I do.
Lexie stands up. “I better get going.”
“It was nice to meet you,” Jenny says, and when they hug, I swear a secret message passes between the two of them. “We should get together soon. I’d really like to get to know you better.”
Something feels off.
Jenny turns to me. “Raffe, why don’t you grab your stuff and you can walk Lexie out.”
I laugh uncomfortably. Maybe I read all of this wrong. I thought Jenny was … fuck, I don’t know. I thought she felt the same way I do. Like I never want to be away from her. Not for a second.
Lexie and I follow her into the cabin as she scoops up my things and deposits them in my arms. I fall to the couch and slip my shirt over my head. “So, it’s okay to come back up in a day or two?”
“How about next Friday?” she says.
“That’s like six days away.”
“It’s just that I have so much to do. Fall is just around the corner.”
“I could help.”
She sighs. “Raffe, you have a life. I’m not going to pull you away from it. I’ll see you next Friday, okay?”
I stand up, turning away from her because I’m fucking super bummed. I won’t see her for an entire week.
Lexie shifts from foot to foot by the door.
Fine. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I never do.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you then.” I start to walk away, but she reaches out and grabs my wrist.
When I turn to look at her, she rises to her toes and presses her lips to mine in a soft kiss. “I’m going to do my best to leave this place someday,” she says quietly after pulling away.
I tug on the braid in her hair, feeling a little better. “I know it’s going to take time.”
She nods with tears in her eyes. “I will miss you,” she says.
“I’ll miss you too, but we’ll see each other soon.”
I kiss her forehead, and when I walk away, I don’t look back. I can’t. If I do, I’ll never leave. I need to remind myself that she’s been isolated and alone for years. It’s going to take time. Sometimes time sucks.
I kick rocks all the way down the path, ignoring Lexie the entire way.
“I’ll see you at home,” she says sadly.
“Yeah,” I say, getting into my truck and starting it.
She pauses to hug herself but jumps into action the second she realizes I’m waiting for her to pull out in front of me.
I feel bad, but I don’t. This wasn’t how today was supposed to go.