Chapter 49
Chapter Forty-Nine
Jenny
I'm making breakfast for my boys, listening to them talk about the wedding.
“I love that they’re having it here,” Brody says to Jackson.
“Me too, brother.”
“How’s Willow feeling?” Brody asks.
“She’s due on her brother’s wedding day. How do you think she’s doing?”
Brody sighs. “Well, if there’s anything Daisy and I can do to help out, let us know.”
“If she has that baby and misses the wedding, she’s going to freak.”
“Well, just tell her to keep that little bun in the oven.”
Jackson laughs, standing. He walks over and places a kiss on my cheek. “Thanks for breakfast, Ma. I’ve got to get on the road.”
I dry my hands off on my apron and give him a hug. “Drive safe.”
“I will.”
He passes Raffe on his way out. “Sleeping a little late there, old man,” he tells his father.
It makes me chuckle because I know why he slept so long. Let’s just say our intimacy has rocketed up a notch as we’ve gotten more comfortable with each other. I know I definitely woke up with a smile on my face.
Raffe is in such a good mood, he doesn’t let our son’s remark bother him. He just shrugs, rubbing his hands together. “Something smells good.”
I pull his plate out of the oven with the bottom of my apron. He sits down by Brody, who is trying his best to get one more pancake down.
“I just need one more and I’ll beat my record,” he tells Raffe, holding his stomach.
Raffe just shakes his head, smiling at me as I set his plate down in front of him. He pats me on the butt. Brody pretends not to notice.
I go back to the sink to fill a vase for the flowers my Jackson brought me this morning. When I reach in my pocket for the scissors I found earlier, I find something else. I pull out the little frog from my windowsill.
He was already in the window of my cabin when I moved in. I remember how happy he made me. I felt like his sole purpose in life was to welcome me home that day.
My gaze goes to the bare windowsill above the sink, and I smile. It’s begging for something to liven it up. I set him in the middle. The iridescent green color sparkles in the morning sun. I’ve always loved him because it looks like he has a smile on his cute little face.
Brody steps up beside me while I’m cutting the stems of the flowers. “Thank you,” he says, leaning down to give me a kiss on the cheek. When he pulls away, he notices the frog in the window.
He nudges it with his finger. “It’s … it’s the frog from your house,” he says.
I laugh. “I found him in my pocket.” I pat my apron. “I forgot he was there. He was one of the few things I found in the cabin when I first moved in,” I tell him.
His hand covers his mouth, and I see emotion pooling in his eyes.
“Hey.” I place my palm against his back. He instantly grabs me and holds me tight. “I miss her.” He begins to cry.
Raffe stands, coming to my aid. He rubs Brody’s back while he continues to hug me. He explains quietly why the frog triggered him.
“I’m sorry, Brody. I didn’t know. I’ll take him down.”
Brody pulls away. “No. No, don’t do that. I love the little fucker.” He gives him another nudge as he wipes his face with his other hand. “Damn. I probably needed that,” he says, laughing sadly.
Raffe pats him on the back. “That’s how she lets you know she’s still here watching over you.”
He nods. “Yeah, yeah. That’s how it works, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” Raffe tells him confidently.
Brody gives us each a hug. “Okay.” He runs his hand over his face one last time. “Fuck.” He shakes his head like a dog. “I’m good.”
He gives the frog one last look before turning to me. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says.
The sliding door shoves open, and Charlotte comes running in. “I’m ready,” she says, sliding to a stop in front of me.
“Ready for what, little miss sassy pants?” Brody teases, his earlier breakdown forgotten.
“Jenny is going to help me hold a spider.”
Petey steps inside. “I’m sorry,” he says, closing the door behind him. “When this girl gets something in her head …”
I bend over so I can look Charlotte in the eye. “If it’s okay with your parents, maybe you guys could come over for supper tonight. Aspen will be here, and I’ll have her bring her spider with her. We’ll see how far we get.”
Charlotte looks to her father to answer.
“Thank you. Yes, count us in,” he says. “Now come on, we’ve got to get you to school.”
Jenny gives her a hug. “Have a good day at school, sweetheart.”
“I hope you have a good day too.” She skips over to Petey, and he mouths a “thank you” again as they walk out.
“That’s real cool of you,” Brody says, giving me one last hug before heading out himself.
Raffe and I watch him leave. “Look at you,” he says, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.
I pat my head. “I know, I must look a mess. I didn’t have time …”
He stops me by pressing his mouth to mine. “You are beautiful.” His eyes dart around my face. “I love every bit of you, but that wasn’t what I was talking about. I meant look at you. How many people have you helped since you got here? You’re doing so good, baby.”
“Oh! I need to get busy on Kelsie’s dress.” I keep forgetting I have people counting on me.
Raffe chuckles. “I put the sewing stuff upstairs in our room.”
I give him a kiss, guiding him back over to his breakfast. When he sits, I run my fingers through the back of his hair, and he hugs me around the waist.
“Thank you for noticing, but it’s not me. Everyone here is making it so easy,” I say quietly, pulling away from him. “Enjoy your breakfast.”
He stops me before I walk out of the room. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
I look at him over my shoulder and smile. “I love you.”
When I get up to our room, I stare at the wedding dress hanging in front of me. I begin to dig through the plastic totes Raffe brought over from his house. They’re filled with sewing supplies.
The first box is nothing but ribbon. It’s an assortment of blues. I smile because Raffe told me Rachel’s favorite color was blue. There’s a lot of pretty stuff in here but no thread. I push it aside and open the next box. Jackpot. Every color I could possibly need is laid before me.
I’m about to open a new pack of needles when I see one already out. It’s tucked into a spool of blue thread. Perfect. I pick it up to pull the needle from it but pause. There’s a string attached to it. Perhaps from the last thing she sewed.
It hits me suddenly. Am I taking over her life? If she’d been alive, she would be the one altering Lily’s dress. She would be the one comforting her family. It would be her enjoying Raffe’s touch at night.
I don’t know how long I sit staring at that spool of thread in my hands, but eventually I notice my mother sitting next to me in the window seat.
“I’m stealing her life,” I begin to cry, cradling the spool to my chest. “None of this should be mine.”
She pats my hand. “Oh, honey. You are doing no such thing.”
“Then why does it feel that way?”
“It’s true you and Rachel love the same people, but you are loving them in your own way. You’re not taking anything away from her.”
I take the tissue she hands me and blow my nose. “Did Raffe call you?”
She smiles without answering, which is an answer in itself. “He loves you very much. Always has.”
“He didn’t see me in here crying over a spool of thread, did he?”
“Raffe tried to talk to you, but you were lost to your thoughts. He thought maybe you needed someone to talk to besides him.”
“I didn’t even notice him. I feel bad.” I glance out the window to see Ray and Raffe fishing down at the dock.
When I return my focus to my mother, she sighs.
“Life comes in phases, Jenny. The quicker you can let go of one, the sooner you can embrace the next.” She grabs my chin.
“Ray was married to a wonderful woman, and I was married to your father. We both lived very different lives than we do now. It’s not wrong or sad.
It just is. I don’t let my past stop me from experiencing the good I have now. ”
I laugh lightly at her lack of description for my father. “Ray is a little more colorful than Daddy, isn’t he?”
Her cheeks turn pink, and it makes me happy. My mother deserves to be loved out loud, and that is exactly what Ray does.
“It’s true. Ray is very different, but I wouldn’t change anything from our pasts. He loved his wife immensely, and he has Dan to show for it. And your Daddy and I, we loved each other in our own way, and we made our Jenny girl,” she says.
I instantly burst into tears because I haven’t heard my father’s nickname for me in so long.
She hugs me, pulling me close. “Raffe told me how good you’ve been doing at making connections.” She looks at the wedding dress hanging beside us. “The people here are not fake, Jenny. I know you’ve been deceived in the past, but they are the real deal.”
“You’re not supposed to know about the dress. It’s a surprise,” I say, laughing sadly.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she assures, giving me a kiss on the forehead.
“I’ve missed you, Mama.”
“I’ve missed you too.” She pats my arm. “So, what do we have here? Can I help?”
“I would love that.” I glance over my shoulder at our men on the dock.
“They’ll be fine. Don’t you worry about them.”
My mom leans over to look at all the pretty ribbon and lace in the tote. “Rachel didn’t do a lot of sewing, but she was constantly mending Jackson’s clothes. That boy was always ripping his jeans. I swear he walked around on his knees.”
I run my thumb over the blue thread and needle and quietly slip it into the pocket of my apron.
“Mama, do you think Elizabeth could use this ribbon in the bouquets she’s making? I know everyone misses Rachel. It would be a little piece of her they could carry with them.”
“I think that is a lovely idea.”
We spend the next few hours huddling over Lily’s dress.
“Your stitches have improved so much,” my mother praises, her sharp eyes paying attention to every detail.
“I had a lot of time to practice.”