Chapter 52 #2
She rubs her eyes, trying to sit up, careful not to push on Lily. “What time is it?”
“Time to get your fucking asses up. We’re about to have a baby.” Dan claps his hands. “Come on, sweetheart. You can sleep at Jackson’s.”
Jenny blinks at me.
Oh shit. I haven’t even told her!
“Willow wants us to be in the delivery room with her, and she’s in labor. Her water broke. They’ll be headed to the hospital as soon as Dan and Lily can get over there to watch Aspen.”
Lily bolts off the couch like she’s been electrocuted. “Let’s go.” She grabs Dan’s hand and rushes out the door.
I drag Jenny upstairs. “Put something comfortable on,” I tell her.
She listens, thank god, but I can tell she’s in a daze. Maybe she’s just tired. It’s been a long day. After she’s dressed, she grabs her bag and waits quietly for me by the door.
Once we’re in the car and headed toward the hospital, I ask her what is going on.
Her head turns, and she stares at the side of my face. “I don’t know if I can do this. I … I don’t know if I can go in. What if it triggers …” She stops, cutting off her sentence.
The way her bottom lip begins to tremble makes me want to break into that prison and kill that motherfucker. In fact, I think I’ll make a few calls and do just that.
“Jenny, we don’t have to be in the room. I’m sure Willow will understand.”
“You could still go in,” she says sadly.
I can hear in her voice how much she wants to be right there with them. “I’m not going without you. Remember, we’re doing this part of life together.”
She stares out her window for a few moments. “Have you ever seen a baby being born?” she asks.
“No.”
“I was so scared when I had Jackson. The only thing that got me through was the thought that you were going to be there the next day to pick him up.”
The feeling I get is not necessarily a good one. She was alone and frightened, and it didn’t have to be that way. I was so close to her. Rachel and I waited in a hotel near the hospital until the adoption agency gave us the word that the mother was ready to release him to us.
But then I tell myself all of that is over. She’s here now, and she’s not alone. “We didn’t get to be together then, but we can be together now. We can be there for Jackson, and Willow, and the little baby who will be here soon.”
She unbuckles and slides across the seat to sit next to me. When she’s buckled in the middle, she lays her head on my shoulder. “I want to do this with you, but could you keep an eye on me? I … I don’t want to add stress to the room.”
“Okay, but you better do the same. I have no clue what I’m getting into here.”
Her head tips back, and she smiles at me. “We’re about to fall in love with a brand-new human soon.”
“I remember the first time I saw Jackson. It was instantaneous. I didn’t know you could fall in love with someone in just one look.”
She smiles, but she remains quiet the rest of the trip.
Once we get to the hospital, everything goes pretty slow. I hate seeing Willow in pain, but it’s amazing how strong she is. The thing I love most about the process is witnessing my son taking care of his wife, encouraging her gently through the contractions.
Jenny does her best to sit still, but I can see it’s taking monumental effort for her not to pace the room. When the nurse announces Willow is completely dilated and she’s going to get the doctor, Jenny pushes all of her insecurities aside.
Willow grabs her hand. “I’m so scared,” she says, trying her best to not cry. “I don’t want the baby to have to go to the NICU.”
Jenny looks at me for an explanation.
“Aspen was born early,” I say quietly.
She immediately turns back to Willow. “Your baby is right on time. You just worry about helping them come into this world. Everything will be okay. I promise.” Jenny brushes Willow’s hair back in a soothing motion.
Soon it’s all elbows and assholes as Grandma Maggie would say, but the room somehow seems peaceful and calm.
Jackson is on one side of Willow, and Jenny is on the other. I’m hovering near the head of the bed, trying not to pass out. This is … this is a lot. How in the hell do women do this?!
When the doctor announces she can see the baby’s head, I take a tiny step back. Jenny notices, and without removing her attention from my daughter-in-law, she reaches for my hand. I take it and she squeezes tight, grounding me.
“Give me one more good push, Willow,” the doctor says.
Willow grunts and pushes with a powerful will and determination that I’ve never experienced before, and suddenly the doctor has a little slimy bundle in her hands. It’s crying and wailing with all of its might.
“Oh, he’s got good and healthy lungs,” Jenny tells Willow. “You did so good.”
Everyone is looking at the baby, but Jenny is looking at her son. She’s extremely proud of him. He’s crying and hugging his wife as the doctor lays the baby on her chest.
“You’ve got a son,” Jenny tells him, touching his head lightly as he leans over to kiss his baby … his son.
“Oh my god. It’s a boy!” I suddenly exclaim, and everyone in the room chuckles.
“You two are lucky. You’ve got some pretty proud grandparents here,” the doctor says, going back to whatever it is she’s doing. I really don’t want to know.
The rest of the time is simply indescribable. The baby is weighed and measured, and then he’s put on Willow’s breast. The time seems to go slow and fast at the same time.
Eventually, everyone leaves the room but us. Jackson hands me my grandson as Jenny helps Willow into the shower.
“Brody’s been blowing up my phone,” he says, laughing. “Him and Jack were up all night catching the frogs Aspen and I put in their house before the wedding.”
“You and your daughter are a menace. Don’t you think you and Brody are getting a little old for pranks?”
“No. Why quit when it’s so much fun?” he asks, shrugging. “Hey, I’m going to go help Willow,” he says. “Will you be okay out here with Rowan?”
“Yeah, yeah of course.”
He pauses. “I’m glad you and Mom were here.”
I nod because fuck, I can hardly speak. “Thank you for letting me experience this,” I manage to get out.
Jackson lowers himself beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve been such a good father to me. I’m glad I could give you a little something back.”
“You’ve given me a lot more than this.” I look down at the bundle in my arms and then at him. “Just you being you is a gift, Jackson.”
He smiles shyly and then stands to go tend to his wife.
A few moments later, Jenny comes out and joins me. “We got her in. Ah, I remember how that first shower feels. Your muscles get so tense during labor.”
I stare at her. She looks relaxed and tired, but happy.
“Do you want to hold him?” I begin transferring the baby from my arms to Jenny’s without waiting for a response from her. I can’t wait to see this baby in her arms.
When she’s settled with him, I take my phone out and take a selfie of the three of us, sending it to my friends.
“He looks a lot like Jackson did when he was a baby, doesn’t he?” Jenny says, locking eyes with me.
It’s as if we can’t look away. We’re caught in a moment in time. Not this one, but one from many years ago. We shared something special back then, even though I didn’t know it at the time.
“I held him the entire time after he was born and all through the next day. I didn’t think I’d be able to let him go,” she whispers. “But I knew I had to. I knew I could never leave that room with him.”
I swallow hard, still trapped in her gaze.
“I gave him a bath on the second day, and when I grabbed the swaddling blanket the nurse gave me, it was covered in tiny dragonflies. I knew in that moment it was a sign, and it was time to give him to you.”
“The first time I held him,” I begin to say, wiping my eyes.
“I couldn’t get over how little he was. I was worried I would break him.
I couldn’t believe anyone would present me with such a gift.
I thanked Jackson’s birth mother so many times in my mind.
It was on repeat, like a song you can’t seem to shake.
I knew she had to be an angel to give me something so special. ”
The bathroom door opens, and Jackson helps Willow back to her bed. Jenny stands with Rowan. “He’s been sucking his little hand like crazy. I think he’s ready to nurse again.”
Jackson and Willow both kindly ignore our tears as the two of us wipe our faces.
We head down to get them a couple of sandwiches from the deli. It’s starting to get dark already. It’s been a long day.
When we get back to the room, little Rowan is in his bassinet while Jackson and Willow are curled up together on her bed. She is fast asleep, but Jackson is still awake. He’s quietly running his fingers through her hair, deep in thought.
“You should get some sleep too,” I tell him, setting the sandwiches on the table.
He sighs happily. “I’ll try. I’m just so in love with her. I don’t understand how it keeps growing.”
Jenny and I smile at each other. Jackson is a good man.
We each lean over to give him a hug, and then we walk over to say goodbye to the baby.
“Oh, I forgot something,” Jenny says, going over to the bag she brought. She digs through it and pulls out a little blue blanket. I smile when I see it’s made from Rachel’s sewing kit scraps. She’s lined the edge in soft satin ribbon.
The baby is already cuddled up in his swaddling, so she drapes it over the bottom of the bassinet for Willow to find when she wakes. She rubs her thumb over a tiny dragonfly she’s stitched in the corner, and then she closes her eyes.
I get the distinct feeling she’s talking to someone.
Maybe she’s thanking an angel for today, because I know I have been.
We walk out of the hospital hand in hand, but our day isn’t over. We’re headed to take over the babysitting duties.
When we get to the farm, we find Aspen already asleep.
“She had a great day,” Lily says as we walk them to the door, thanking them profusely for watching her.
“It was good,” Dan says. “I realized I’m going to need to start working out again if I’m going to be able to keep up with this one.” He rubs his wife’s belly, and we all laugh.
Jenny hugs him. “Well, you better get to it, big brother. You’ll be back in the thick of it soon,” she teases.
He shakes his head, heading out the door. “You didn’t warn me that she’s a smart ass,” he tells his wife who’s laughing.
It is kind of funny that they’re stepsiblings now. I hadn’t really thought about it.
Life is really strange sometimes.
We shower together, both barely able to keep our eyes open. “I kind of feel bad for Dan and Lily. I hope they find the energy to do this,” she says.
“Eh, they have an entire club to help them,” I say, shrugging my shoulders.
“That’s true.”
Aspen is asleep right in the middle of her parent’s bed, so we slip in on each side of her, both of us kissing her soft hair at the same time.
“She’s going to be so happy when she gets to meet Rowan tomorrow,” Jenny says.
“Let’s just hope she doesn’t try to tote him around like she does the chickens.”
Jenny laughs quietly, taking my hand when I offer it to her. We intertwine our fingers, and we’re finally able to close our eyes.
“I have missed you,” I say after a few minutes, thinking she’s already asleep.
A smile pulls at the corners of her mouth, but her eyes remain closed. “I have missed you too.”