Chapter Thirteen
GAbrIELLA-ROSE
I HAD WOKEN EARLY this morning again and went through the same routine as I had every morning for the past two weeks: rushing to the bathroom to be sick. I had a good idea what the problem was; after all, I had been through the same thing three times before.
I was pregnant, I was sure of it. I was just too scared to go and take a test to find out.
I knew that Hudson, Nico, and Gino wouldn’t act in the same way as Vincent, but the longer I didn’t know for certain, the more chance I would finally have of becoming a mother. I wanted that more than anything in the world. I always had. I wanted to hold my child in my arms for once. The memories of the three children I had lost through miscarriages were in the forefront of my mind. I was so frightened that it would happen yet again.
There was part of me that was ecstatic to think that I could be pregnant with the child of the men that I loved. However, there was still the pain and fear of everything I had been through before bubbling under the surface, just waiting to rear its ugly head at any moment.
That was why I was hiding it from the guys. Not because I didn’t want them to know, but because I was scared. So far, I thought I had managed to keep it from them, but I knew they were getting suspicious. The fact that I would sneak out of their rooms early in the morning so I could go to my own bedroom was one factor. The other was that I hardly ate anything at breakfast in fear of the nausea building back up again and having to run out of the kitchen.
My thoughts compounded when Hudson announced last night that he had made an appointment for me at the local clinic to go and see his doctor. I knew I would have to be honest with him and tell him my suspicions. Hudson had asked Gino to take me, and the appointment was today at one-thirty. I was excited and worried at the same time.
Hudson had gone to the office today with Nico, leaving me at home in the apartment with Gino. I was currently sitting in the living room sipping some water, desperately trying to ease the nausea in the pit of my stomach, both from the pregnancy I knew would be confirmed today and the worry of telling everyone. I didn’t hear Gino walk into the room until he placed a cup in front of me and sat down.
“So, are you going to tell me the truth? Or are you going to make up another excuse?”
I looked over at him as he spoke. I could see the concern on his face, which I knew he didn’t need. I wasn’t ill. I was just pregnant. So why was I so worried about saying the words?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just a little under the weather, that’s all.”
He shook his head, not believing a word I said. He got up, sat next to me, and took my hand in his. I looked down as he gently rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand. I felt a finger touch my chin as he gently moved my head up and around to meet his eyes. A lone tear fell from my eye and down my cheek. He gently wiped it away with his finger and smiled.
“You know exactly what I am talking about. Why don’t you just be honest and tell me the truth? The one all of us suspect.”
They couldn’t know. I had been so careful to make sure they didn’t notice too much. How would they? I just wanted them to think I had caught a bug. I thought I had done enough to make them think that. They seemed to take my explanation every morning when I said I wasn’t hungry, and I always made sure to eat in the evening when the nausea had passed.
I looked at Gino sitting there, waiting for me to speak. I ran through all the explanations I could give in my head in a matter of seconds.
I couldn’t hold it back any longer. The look in his eyes pushed me over the edge and the tears started to fall. The pain I had been feeling all this time for the precious lives I had lost in the past started to boil over. His strong arms immediately engulfed me as he carefully pulled me onto his lap. He just held me as I let all the worry leave my body.
The tears started to slow, and I concentrated on my breathing to gain control of my emotions. I was sure I must be pregnant, as my hormones were completely ruling my emotions currently.
“Tesoro, please tell me what is wrong. I hate seeing you so upset. Whatever it is, we can work through it. I promise you.”
I took one last deep breath and spoke. “I’m pregnant. At least I suspect I am. I have all the same symptoms I had when I was pregnant before with Vincent until…well, you know the rest.”
I had told Gino everything when we had been alone for those two days before Hudson’s birthday. I wasn’t sure if the guys would tell him, and I wanted him to know everything about me.
He pulled me into his chest and pressed a kiss onto my hair. “We all assumed you were. You haven’t hidden it as well as you thought, tesoro. We just chose to play along until you decided to be honest with us. Why do you think Hudson finally made you an appointment at the clinic? He isn’t trying to meddle in your life. He just wants you to be happy and to make sure you’re well.”
I looked up at him with unshed tears still in my eyes.
“None of us are Vincent. We won’t put you through what he did. You must realize that.” He placed a hand on my stomach. “If you are pregnant and one of us has created a life inside you, we will all protect you with our own lives. We could never destroy that. I, for one, don’t care who the father may be. I will love that child as if it were my own and do everything I can for you and the baby to make your life better. However, none of that matters until you find out the truth.”
I knew he was right. I was still living in the past. A past that no longer existed. I wasn’t with Vincent anymore. The three men I loved, and who cherished me, would never do the things to me that I had lived through in my former life. I had to remember that. I had to put that history behind me and live for the here and now. For the future that was so much healthier than I could ever have imagined not more than seven months ago. All three of them would be doting fathers, no matter who the biological father was. Deep down in my heart, I knew that, but the horrific events of the past wouldn’t let me move forward.
“I’m scared, Gino. I’m trying to let the past go, but the thought of losing another child is terrifying me. If I don’t know and something happens, it won’t be so devastating. I don’t think I can go through that again.”
The tears started to fall again as the pain I had felt inside for so long over losing three children at Vincent’s hands boiled over. I was shaking both in fear and anguish as all the emotions of my past came to the surface. The times I had lain on my bed in agony at his hands. The broken bones, bruises, and feelings of loss I could no longer hold back. I was sobbing, unable to control my emotions. Gino just sat there and held me, gently stroking my hair as my head rested on his chest.
“Tesoro, look at me.”
I lifted my head and looked up at his worried face.
“There is no need for you to be frightened. We will all be here for you. And you know Kristen will always help you, and she is only at the end of the phone if you need another woman to talk to. If you are pregnant, that is something to rejoice over, not worry. I know Hudson and Nico will be just as pleased and excited as I am. I also know that Hudson is desperate to have a family, even if it isn’t his own. So come on, no more tears. We don’t even know if you are yet. Let's spend the morning relaxing, and then we can find out for certain.”
As I looked into his eyes and listened to what he was saying, I felt a sudden need to kiss him. I leaned forward and gently rested my lips on his. He ran his tongue over my lower lip as he opened his mouth. I opened my mouth instantly at the tingling sensation he caused inside me and we deepened our slow kiss. The kiss was lazy, but sensual, and seemed to last forever. All the pain I was feeling washed away as he continued to kiss me. After a while, he pulled away slightly and then pressed another kiss to my lips.
“Got it all out of your system now?”
I smiled at him and nodded. He moved across the couch slightly and sat me down next to him so my legs were across his lap and my back resting on the arm.
“You do realize, though, if you are pregnant, you’re not going to be able to do anything. Nico and Hudson will wrap you up in bubble wrap and treat you with kid gloves, especially in the bedroom. Plus both you and the baby will be spoiled rotten. Are you up for that challenge?”
I started to laugh, but then my laughter stopped. “Oh, God. Hudson is probably going to ban me from sex for the entirety of my pregnancy. I am going to be made to be celibate.”
Gino looked at the horror on my face and started to laugh. “I’m sure Hudson won’t go that far. He will probably just calm things down and not go full Dom on you. However, thinking about it, that also means more problems for me.”
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing now as the realization appeared on Gino’s face. Talking through the laughter, I tried to reassure him as much as possible.
“I’m sure you will survive, and after all, it’s only for a few months. He was nowhere near as strict with you that night as he was with me. However, that could have been because it was your first time.” I raised my eyebrows at him and burst into hysterics, unable to control the laughter.
“You’re really not helping.”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”
He looked at me with a feigned expression of hurt in his eyes before he started to laugh along with me. “I’m glad I can make you laugh, tesoro. If there is something I love about you, it is hearing you laugh and knowing that I helped make it happen.”
He placed his hand on my cheek, wiping away the tears – of laughter this time – from my face.
“Thank you, Gino. I do feel a lot happier now. I can’t live in the past any longer, especially if I am carrying a precious life inside me. I have three gorgeous and protective men to take care of me, and I have a big papa bear in Viktor, ready to kill any one of you if you hurt me. What more could a woman want to feel loved and protected? You’re right. I should only look forward from this moment on.”
Gino pulled me into his side again and held me while turning on the TV and putting on a movie. I wasn’t really paying attention, as I was exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster. I could feel my eyes getting heavy as the warmth from his body radiated through me.
“Rest for a while, tesoro. I will make sure you are awake in time for your appointment.”
As the weariness took over my body, I heard those final words before I fell asleep in his arms.