Chapter Twenty-Nine
GINO
I WAS STILL FEELING the guilt of what had happened to Gaby. Even though she was now safe and it seemed as though the baby was okay, I still blamed myself for what had happened.
Last night had been amazing, but it was just making my decision harder to tell. It had been exactly what I wanted: one last night with the people I loved. One lasting memory to get me through the rest of my life. However, I couldn’t let myself get too sentimental about it. I knew they would be devastated by what I was going to say, but it was for the best. I would always be the outsider, and I could never trust myself to look after Gabriella ever again.
We were driving back to New York, and everyone was chatting away except me. I had too many thoughts going around my head to talk. I sat there in relative silence most of the way, trying to work out exactly what I was going to say. I knew if I spoke to Gabriella or Nico, they would just argue with me and try desperately to talk me out of it. Hudson was my only choice.
Yes, we had found each other when we thought there was nothing there. Realized that we both filled a missing piece that we never knew we had, but that was just it. We had never had the deep-rooted feelings that I had with Gabriella and Nico. My best chance was to speak to him. He understood what I was going through and was most open-minded to me leaving.
We arrived back at the apartment building at around three in the afternoon. Gaby wasn’t due at the clinic until seven this evening, and I was not planning on going back there. There were far too many bad memories for me to set foot anywhere near the place again, even if it was with Nico and Hudson. We headed up in the private elevator and walked into the apartment. Nico took our bags, with Gaby, upstairs so she could lie down and then freshen up before her appointment.
“I’ll make us all a coffee.” Hudson walked off into the kitchen to make the drinks.
I knew this would probably be my only opportunity to speak to him alone and tell him how I was feeling. To say that I couldn’t stay in the relationship knowing what could have happened. I took a deep breath and followed Hudson into the kitchen. He was gazing out of the window and turned as I walked in. The look on his face told me he knew exactly what I was going to say.
“You know that Nico and Gaby will be devastated if you leave. Nico won’t let you go easily. He has already said he will come after you in Sicily and bring you back.”
I looked down at the floor. This was so much more difficult than I had expected it to be. I’d hoped I could just say to Hudson that I couldn’t carry on and that I had to leave, and he would just let me go. I had underestimated how much he cared for us all. For me.
“I have to go, Hudson. I can’t stay here knowing what could have happened because I took my eye off the ball. I should never have allowed Vincent to get that close to Gabriella. You can argue with me as much as you like, but we all know that it was my fault. I can’t be trusted to look after her. I let you down. I let her down. Thanks to me, she could have lost another child that she so desperately wanted. How can I live with knowing that it was my fault?”
He walked toward me, and I put my hands up to stop him. I knew as soon as he touched me, those carnal thoughts would enter my head, and he would be able to get me to do whatever he wanted.
He didn’t stop. He walked right in front of me and placed both his hands on my shoulders. I relished the feeling of his touch, but knew I had to hold strong. I couldn’t let my cock rule my head. I knew what I was doing was right, and they would see that in the end.
“Gino, I never thought I would say this to any man other than Nico. But I love you. The night of my birthday, you evoked feelings in me I had never felt before. Powerful feelings that I can’t ignore. I can’t let you go. I won’t. We all need you in our lives, and if you’re honest with yourself, you need us. I know you blame yourself for what happened, but who’s to say that if it had been me or Nico there, the same thing wouldn’t have happened? Or worse. Please say you will stay. Gabriella will be heartbroken if you go.”
I had to stay strong. I had to stick to what I knew in my heart was right. Why, then, did it feel as though it was breaking in two?
I looked into Hudson’s eyes, trying to appear confident. “Hudson, you know it’s for the best. I was never meant to be part of this relationship. It was always meant to be just you, Nico, and Gaby. I will just get in the way.”
He looked at me, and for a moment I thought he was going to say something. Without warning, though, he grabbed my waist, pulled me toward him, and crushed his lips against mine. I couldn’t help the gasp that left my lips, giving him the opportune moment to plunge his tongue into my mouth, kissing me as though it was the last moment we would have together. It was like our first kiss in the club. One that had been part of my dreams ever since. I melted into his body and allowed myself to give into the carnal desires that Hudson seemed to invoke in me. Our tongues danced their duet together as my hand snaked around his body to hold him closer to me.
My mind was telling me this was wrong. That I shouldn’t let these feelings sway my judgment and the decision I had made. However, my heart kept on telling me that this was where I needed to be. That this felt right. That I had finally found my home. A home with Nico, Gabriella, and Hudson. If I walked away now, I would never feel this way again.
I heard Hudson groan as he felt my hardened cock rubbing against his. My heart was trying to escape my chest as it beat so hard, in time with his. Neither of us heard Nico walk into the room until his voice broke our kiss.
“I was going to ask if we needed to sit down and talk. I thought we might have to convince Gino to stay after the quiet trip home and what he said last night. However, it would appear that the one person I thought would be opposed to bringing you into the relationship is the one person begging you to stay.”
We pulled away from our kiss and embrace, resting our foreheads together. A small laugh left both of our lips before Hudson spoke.
“Please stay with us, Gino. This is your home. We are your home. None of us wants you to leave.”
I knew now that I could never leave here. Hudson was right: it was my home. They were my home. I would die an unhappy man if I left them. I felt Nico walk behind me, sandwiching me between the two of them.
He pressed a kiss just below my ear before he spoke. “I’ll find you wherever you go if you leave. Hudson is right. You belong with us. You always have. It just took us all a long time to realize it.”
That was the final confirmation I needed to make my decision.
“I love you all. I realize now that I could never leave you and be happy. I need you all in my life. We all have our own role to play in this relationship, I see that now. I’m so sorry I said I would leave you, because I know I never could. I just needed you to make me see that.”
As I stood there with the men I loved holding me, a huge weight was lifted from me, and I could finally see a future. One where I would truly be happy.
I COULD FEEL MY anxiety rising as we pulled into the parking lot of the clinic. I could tell that Gabriella was feeling it too. After all, it was the first time we had been back since that fateful day.
We both knew that we had to do this. Gabriella would be spending the next six months coming here for appointments, so we had to get over our thoughts and fears. Nico pulled into a space and stopped the car before getting out and helping Gabriella from her seat. I sat there for a moment, feeling my heart start to beat faster in my chest as the memories of that day came flooding back. I felt a hand on my shoulder as Hudson spoke.
“It’s okay, Gino. Nothing is going to happen. Antonio, Luca, and some more of your men are all here watching. I promise nothing will happen to any of you again. We’ve learned from our mistakes.”
I knew there was no reason to worry. It still sent shivers down my spine, and I thought it always would. I got out of the car and headed over to the clinic with everyone else. We were due to enter through the back door, one that I knew very well. The amount of times we had called Monica when something had gone wrong on a job and it wouldn’t have been fitting to go to the ER was too many to count. Nico pressed the comm button and let Monica know that we were there. The buzzer sounded, and we walked inside.
Monica and another lady were waiting for us as soon as we walked through the door. Monica’s face lit up when she saw Gabriella, and she immediately walked over to her and placed her arms around her.
“I am so happy that you are safe and relatively unharmed. We were so worried when we heard what happened.”
I could see that Hudson had made the right choice with Monica. She had always been extremely helpful to us when we needed help. However, she seemed to have really taken to Gabriella and genuinely cared about her and the pregnancy.
“Thank you, Monica. I’m glad to be here too, and desperate to see Munchkin again.”
We all looked at Gabriella with confused expressions.
She turned and looked at us all and started to giggle. “What? I had to give this little one a name, and Munchkin seemed right.”
We all started to laugh along with her. I was sure we would all have our own nicknames for the baby, but for now, Munchkin would do.
The lady who had greeted us with Monica spoke. “Shall we get you all settled and ready to check on this one, then, Gaby?”
“Sounds perfect, Victoria.”
Gabriella walked off with Victoria into one of the rooms to get ready for the scan.
Monica turned to Hudson. “How is she doing? She looks well, but is she covering up her real feelings?”
Hudson let out a sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know. She seems fine, but I’m not sure if she is hiding the truth. I was thinking of getting her some help. After all, Vincent has done some terrible things to her in the past.”
Monica nodded her head as if in agreement. “I’ll send over some contact details. I know a few good people she can talk to, and some support groups.”
“Thanks, Monica.”
Just then, Victoria walked out of the room.
“We are all set up, if you would like to come in.”
Everyone started to walk toward the room, but I held back. I didn’t know why, but I just felt as though I shouldn’t be here. After all, there was no way the baby was mine if Gabriella was nearly three months along. This was their time. I also didn’t want to be there if something had gone wrong. Nico turned and noticed I wasn’t following them.
He walked back over to me. “Gino, what’s wrong? Don’t you want to see our baby?”
That was the point, though. It wasn’t ours. I knew I had said I wouldn’t care who the father was, but after everything that happened, I just didn’t feel right attending these appointments.
“It’s not mine, though, is it, Nico? It can’t be. This is your and Hudson’s time. Mine will come.”
Nico was about to try to talk me around when Monica popped her head out of the room.
“I have a very impatient mother-to-be in here demanding that all her men are in this room within the next ten seconds, or there will be consequences.” She winked at us both before she continued. “If you catch my drift.”
Any thoughts of not being welcomed or that it wasn’t my time to be there went out of the window as Nico and I barreled into the room. We found Gabriella, Hudson, and Victoria all laughing at our entrance, along with Monica just rolling her eyes.
“Okay, let’s find our little munchkin, shall we?” Victoria said as she started to run the ultrasound wand over Gabriella’s stomach.
Hudson and Nico were both standing next to the monitor closely looking, while I looked directly at Gabriella. She looked simply radiant as she lay there with a huge smile on her face. I knew one day that would be my child that she was carrying if God allowed it. However, Nico was right. This was our child. As we gave each other, each one of us would provide something different for her child. All of a sudden, there was the faintest of heartbeats filling the room. Gabriella looked over at me with tears in her eyes, but for once, they were happy ones.
She gestured for me to come over. I walked to the opposite side of the bed from Nico and Hudson, then leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“I’ve told Munchkin all about the three of you. Therefore, they know which dad they need to ask to get what they need. I know we will find out which one of you is the father, and we will explain that when they are older, but as far as I am concerned, this child is going to be the most loved and cherished there could ever be. Because they will have three dads who love them and each other. And I don’t want that ever to change.” Gabriella looked at me as she said the last few words.
I wasn’t sure if either Hudson or Nico had said anything to her, but if they hadn’t, she had known what I was going to do. As I looked over and saw the tiny baby growing inside her, the final piece of the wall I had been building to be able to leave New York crumbled to the floor. My heart was now open to them all, and there was no way I was going to leave them now.