Chapter 6 #3
For the first time in forever, I feel safe. I realize the last time I felt this way was when I was a child and my mother hugged me when I was sick. Which only makes me sob harder.
Layden rubs my back and makes soothing noises until finally, hiccupping, my crying calms down.
I’m appalled at myself, but still, I don’t pull away from him.
We just stand there like that, me in his arms, my face sideways against his chest. I can hear his heartbeat, so sure and steady.
The extra-sensory part of me can feel his blood pumping through the four chambers of his heart and rushing out through all his veins through his body, filling him with life. He’s so strong and alive.
I’ve never felt so safe. It’s a dangerous high because I could chase this feeling forever.
Finally, I pull away and wipe at my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I look down. “I don’t know why I did that.”
“I have cried before,” Layden says. “When my brothers and Creator-Father were not looking. Sometimes, I felt better afterward.”
His admission makes more tears want to bubble up.
How is he so… perfect is the word my mind conjures, but I know that’s not true.
Then again, he is the closest thing I’ve ever met to an angel.
It’s probably a girlish fancy to think an angel has come to save me.
Though I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve never been young.
No matter how much pink I put on the walls.
If I ever was a girl, I’m certainly not one anymore.
“Thank you,” I say, stepping back from him. I make a useless gesture, still feeling embarrassed. “For listening. And… understanding.”
He just watches me with those ancient, accepting eyes. No wonder he thinks me a child.
“I’ll let you get settled in. Tomorrow, we can order some clothes and stuff for you on the Internet.”
“What is the Internet?” he asks.
I laugh, feeling a little bit more grounded.
“You’ve got a lot to learn, my friend. Welcome to the twenty-first century.”
The next morning, Layden and I eat breakfast together in his room, which feels far more normal than it should. He’s astounded by how good Lucky Charms cereal tastes and eats three bowls. Remembering how much he likes meat, I microwave him some bacon, which he also freaks out over.
It’s fun to introduce him to things. So next, I take him to my computer lab.
I drag another chair into the setup I have in front of multiple screens.
Sabra was never interested in tech much beyond social media stuff, following celebrity gossip, and connecting with fellow mages, i.e.
, she was a mostly normal teenage girl despite usually being locked behind these walls with me.
Vlad brought her to live in the compound with us a year after I got here when her mother first went into the psych facility.
It was lonely for both of us at first. She was suspicious of me, being Vlad’s granddaughter.
He’d put her family through hell, so she didn’t want anything to do with me at first. And even though she grew up with a mage mother, who was on the brink of losing it completely, Sabra had always been more…
normal than me. She’d gone to school with other kids and liked to be outside.
Even once we became friends after a couple years, when I’d disappear into this room of monitors, she had no interest in joining me.
But as soon as Layden sits down in the chair beside me, his eyes light up. Especially when I turn on the screens and introduce him to the Internet.
“So you mean the whole world is connected now—everyone, everywhere—and you can see them and communicate with them through this single screen?” He sounds so excited as he asks the question. “Without ever leaving this room?”
I laugh as I nod. “It takes a little practice to learn how to navigate everything, but yes. You can play any game you can think of with people, take classes and earn a degree from a university, run an entire business, sell things, meet people and just chat…”
I show him Google and how to use it. The basics of where and how to buy things.
“Or,” I say, pulling up an anonymizing web browser, “you can use something like Tor to head to the dark web, which is where things get really interesting.”
“The dark web?”
I nod. “It’s where a lot of the hackers hang out.”
“You are one of these? A hack?”
“A hacker,” I correct. “I like to keep an eye on things.”
I glance over at him as I navigate around to show him what phishing scams are and how to watch out for bots, and then I take him deeper to show him what I do on a daily basis: watching out for what’s going on in the world as far as espionage, players who might be looking to threaten Vlad’s little kingdom of control or any dangers that could compromise us on a national or global scale.
Layden stares determinately at the screen, eyes bouncing between it and the keyboard I’m navigating with confidence. “I want to learn everything.”
I grin at him. “Let’s hope you’re a fast learner, old man.”
“I want it.” He’s so earnest. “More than anything.”
“More than breaking the curse on you?”
He shrugs. “If I can navigate this Inter-net and be here with you, what do I care about that world out there? Everything I need is here.”
It’s more than a little short-sighted, but I still feel stupidly warm inside to hear him say shit like that. Being here in this room, just him and me, I feel the safety I did yesterday when I was in his arms.
Are you a selfish little girl, or not?
It’s selfish to keep him here all to myself when I should be focused on helping him get rid of the curse. But still, he’s so enthusiastic about learning Linex and the basics of Python that I text Sabra and ask if she can come tomorrow instead since Layden is still settling in today.
Hours later, I order take-out from my favorite burger joint and enjoy every face Layden makes as he eats a greasy burger and fries for the first time.
“What have they done to food since I’ve been away?” he asks as he devours his third burger. I made sure to order extras for him, knowing his appetite. “How did they learn to make it so much more… flavorful?” He shoves a handful of fries in his mouth.
“I don’t know. We learned how to do processed foods and add MSG to everything?” I laugh at the ecstatic expression on his face. “And how to fry things.”
He nods. “Yes, the frying. The frying is very good.”
He shoves the last of the fries in his mouth and wipes his hands on the stack of napkins at the bottom of the bag. “But we need to get back to learning.”
With the hand he just cleaned, he looks back at the tablet I let him borrow, which has a bunch of books on Python we downloaded. He taps through the pages so quickly I don’t see how he could possibly be reading them, but by the time I’m done eating, he’s finished two books.
And when he sits in front of the computer console, it’s clear he absorbed what he read about the computer language because he’s already got the basics down. We’ve only been at this for one day, and he’s ready for more advanced things that would take years for a normal person to learn.
“How are you so good at this?” I ask, awed as he builds a practice machine learning model to predict weather patterns.
He shrugs but pauses, turning to look at me. “Human math follows the same logic as angelic runes.” He lifts his hand, and shining blue-white hieroglyphs appear in the air.
I gasp. “You did that before. When I first found you.”
He laughs as he swipes the runes away. They dissipate as quickly as they appeared. “I tried. I didn’t have enough energy to make a proper rune, or I would have blasted you.”
“Blasted me?” My eyebrows lift.
“You have your defenses; I have mine.”
“Wow, you really weren’t good at accepting help, were you?”
He looks at me, those eyes of his piercing. “No one had offered me help before. So I assumed you were a threat.”
He goes back to working on the computer while I’m left staring at him.
No one had ever offered him help before.
For at least eight years, I had a mother.
I knew what it was to be loved. To have someone pick me up and coo over me when I fell down.
From everything he’s told me, he had no mother.
Only a cruel father and heartless brothers.
So, how is there any kindness in his heart at all?
Sometimes, I think it’s all been beaten out of me by my life with Vlad, but meeting Layden gives me hope.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out. It’s a text from Vlad. Automatically, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I turn away from Layden as I click on the text.
VLAD: Now that you’re home, I expect you to continue working. Especially since you’ve brought a guest. If you want him to stay, go make this little problem compliant.
Attached is a photo and a location.
I sigh, which makes Layden look away from the computer. “What?”
“Nothing,” I say quickly. “I just need to go out for a bit.”
“I’ll come with you.” He starts to stand up, but I shove him back down by his shoulder.
“No. You won’t.” My voice is hard.
“What was that noise? And you just looked at something in your hand. A miniature tablet. What happened?”
“It’s called a phone, and it’s just some business I have to take care of. I have a life and can’t just babysit you all the time.”
He withdraws like I’ve stung him. “Of course. I would not expect you to. I am a grown man. Go do what you must.”
I cut off anything I’m feeling at having hurt him.
This is my world. I am my grandfather’s pawn, and I always will be.
I just explained to Layden how weak I am if I’m not in proximity to my grandfather while he feeds.
I was pushing the distance I could be away from him at the cabin, and even there, I was starting to feel a little weak.
There’s no escaping Vlad, which means I will forever be under his power. This was the bargain I struck with the darkness.
I don’t see anybody in the hallways as I leave the compound, which is a good thing. Right as I swing a leg over my motorcycle, I text my grandfather back: On it.
I’m tempted to say something about leaving Layden alone, but knowing him, that might just goad him into action.
Layden’s strong now, and seeing his runes again today, I trust him to be able to take care of himself if he needs to.
He’s the one person in the world I think might actually stand a chance against Grandfather. If only I could survive with Vlad dead.
Even the fact that I’m letting myself think about killing him chills me. It’s a useless wish that doesn’t do anything except torment me.
I jam the kickstand loose with my foot and take off. The gates open at my approach, and then, finally, I’m free on the open road. Free but always at the end of my grandfather’s long tether. At least, though, when I come back tonight, Layden will be here.