Chapter 21
Anne walked back to the Uppercross and went straight up to the eighth floor.
Freddie’s door was slightly ajar, as though he had left it like that after she texted to say she was headed up.
As she pushed it open, she could see that the apartment looked like it did for Freddie’s housewarming party, though the details were clearer now—how the light played off the muted tones of the furniture, where the paintings hung on walls where her own family photos used to be.
The smell of fresh paint had faded, and a fire roared in the fireplace. The sofas had indentation marks on one side, as if Freddie had already chosen his favorite place to sit. Keys were strewn on the entry table. It felt broken-in, like life in this place had continued on after Anne left.
She didn’t know if that made it better or worse.
The sound of glasses clattering together pulled her further into the apartment. She turned the corner into the living room and found Freddie pouring himself a glass of water. He paused when he saw her.
“Hi,” she said.
He smiled. “Hi.”
“Do you leave your door like that a lot?” she asked, biting back her own smile as she took another step into the room.
He shrugged. “Bev told me she’d seen the ghost of Joey Ramone in the building, so I was trying my luck.”
Anne laughed and a bit of the tension in her shoulders melted away.
He came around the kitchen island, pausing in the middle of the living room. “How’d it go with Sophie?”
“Well. Really well.” She thought back to the check in her bag and took another step toward him. “She paid me way too much for all the work I did.”
“I would hope so.”
“And she asked me to become business partners so we could run Eufloria together.”
That gorgeous, lopsided smile she loved so much spread across his face. “That’s amazing.”
“I haven’t said yes yet,” she added quickly. “I have to weigh my options, make sure it’s the right choice long-term.”
“Of course,” he said, nodding. “But do you want to do it?”
She thought for a moment. It was hard to move past the excitement in her chest, the anxiety swirling around with the possibility that made objective reasoning almost impossible. “I think so. I just need some time.”
He tilted his head to the side, as if thinking hard. “A checklist, maybe. Or maybe a pros-and-cons spreadsheet.”
Anne’s mouth fell open and she tried to maintain some level of offense, but she couldn’t help laughing, too. “Are you mocking my quantitative approach to decision-making?”
Freddie shook his head, even as he said, “Yes.”
Her head fell back as she finally let herself laugh again, completely unencumbered. No one could ever make her laugh like Freddie.
After a moment, as her laughter began to fade, she finally looked over at him to reply. But the words dissolved on her tongue when she saw how he was watching her. His green eyes were dark, his lips parted slightly.
“I missed this,” he said.
She paused, waiting for more, but he stayed silent.
“Missed what?” she asked.
“Us.”
The silence seemed to vibrate in the air between them. She had never been more aware of her breathing, how it suddenly seemed to match time with her pulse as his gaze fell to her mouth, then back up to meet her eyes.
“Don’t you miss it?” he murmured.
She nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
For a second he didn’t move. It didn’t even look like he was breathing. “What do you miss?”
Her heart was a wild animal in her chest, slamming against her rib cage even as her whole body was still, frozen under his scrutiny.
“I miss talking with you,” she said softly. “I miss laughing.”
He took a step toward her.
“I miss coming home and smelling like you,” she continued. “That mix of soap and sandalwood and that cinnamon toothpaste your mom used to buy.”
The corner of his mouth twitched.
She smiled, too, but it faded just as soon as it appeared, swallowed up by the enormity of everything she wanted to say.
“I miss how you looked at me.” Her voice was barely a whisper now. “I miss how you made me feel.”
He took another step forward. He was only inches from her now.
“And how’s that?”
She sighed, already ashamed of how pathetic she sounded. “Like I was someone special.”
“Yeah. I know that feeling,” he said, his eyes studying hers. Then he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “So, what should we do?”
God, it would be so easy to arch up and kiss him right now.
Lose herself in him the way she used to.
She could convince herself that if she held him close, it would erase all the resentment and pain that had been allowed to fester between them, fill the cracks that had existed at the heart of this for so long.
But then Sophie’s words rattled in her brain.
Sometimes love isn’t enough to fix everything else.
It was true, as much as she hated to admit it right now. If they really wanted to fix this, then they couldn’t just rely on love. They had to put in the work.
“Let’s go grab a coffee,” she said. “And… talk.”
He smiled. “Okay. I’ll get my coat.”