Chapter 22 #3
The energy between them suddenly felt unstable, dangerous. A minefield they’d accidentally stumbled upon right here in the kitchen.
“No, she didn’t. I might follow her advice sometimes, but—”
“What about Columbia?”
“I didn’t know what I wanted to do after NYU,” she said, eyes narrowing on him. “She suggested I get my MBA, and she was right. It was the best choice at the time.”
His brow furrowed, and it was only at that moment that she realized how her words had come out.
“Funny,” he said. “I didn’t think your other choice was so bad.”
She sighed. “But it wasn’t really a choice, Freddie. Was it? You applied for the program and bought me that ticket without asking me about any of it.”
“Are you serious?” He looked genuinely confused. “Annie, you’d already applied and been accepted to Columbia!”
“Because I thought you were staying in the city! You didn’t know if I had other plans or—”
“And whose fault is that?” he cut her off.
The words landed between them with a heavy silence. God, it was almost a relief. An old Band-Aid finally ripped clean from the skin.
“I wanted you to come to Argentina with me,” he continued, his voice low and angry. “I wanted to build a life with you, and you just cut me off like I meant nothing.”
“So did you!” She was surprised by how loud her voice was, like the words had needed to get out for so long that they burst out of their own accord.
His eyebrows bobbed up. “What?”
“You blocked my number,” she said, working to make her voice steady again. “You were my best friend, and I told you I wanted to hold on to that, and you blocked my number.”
“Because you broke up with me!” Freddie’s voice shook. “Do you know what that was like? Being told you wanted to be friends? You treated me like an obligation. Even your speech sounded rehearsed!”
“Because I was falling apart, too!”
“Then why do it?” he asked, stepping forward. “Why the hell did you end it before we even had a chance to try?”
Because you wouldn’t have gone to Argentina if I hadn’t, she thought.
She couldn’t say it, though. It felt like a cheap shot, leverage thrown in his face that he didn’t even know existed.
Her sacrifice used as some kind of trump card, when really there had been so many factors leading to the decision.
She may have delivered the final blow, but all the things they had never discussed—their future, their plans, even what they wanted—had chipped away at their foundation long before that.
Sophie’s words echoed back in her head then: Sometimes love isn’t enough to fix everything else.
“We were so young, Freddie,” she replied.
“We were trying to read each other’s minds, dreaming about the future while sparing each other’s feelings, but all that meant was that we never talked about it.
We never made those plans, and now we’re here, eight years later, still stuck in this same loop. ”
“Fine, you want to hear something new?” he said, throwing his arms out at his sides. “You broke my fucking heart, Annie.” His eyes narrowed at her. “And for what? Business school? A job at your dad’s company?”
“No, to figure out what I wanted. To come up with a plan for my life.”
He let out a sharp laugh. “Yeah, looks like that really worked out for you.”
It was bitter. Worse than that, it was mean. The words of a hurt twenty-one-year-old. And maybe they were. Still, that didn’t make them any less hard to swallow.
“Would it have been better if I followed you?” Anne asked.
“Maybe,” he said, a mix of shame and anger rising on his face.
“At least you would have taken a risk. Life doesn’t care about your plans, Annie.
Things go wrong and change; you can’t predict it.
When you try, you end up with a life that looks like everyone else’s.
Sometimes you need to get out into the world to figure yourself out. ”
“Right,” she said bitingly. “That really worked out for you, too.”
He blinked. “What?”
“What do you want, Freddie? You left because you didn’t want to get stuck in a corporate job.
You said you’d never sit in an office for eight hours a day.
Wear a suit and smile through meetings. You were going to start a nonprofit and change the world on your own terms.” Her voice was tinged with frustration, but she still stood resolute in the center of the kitchen, back straight and arms around herself.
“And now, here you are in expensive suits and designer shoes. You left to forge your own path but still ended up where you never wanted to be.”
Freddie’s expression flattened, and she knew her words had hit like a bullet pointed right at the single chink in his armor.
“Well, at least we got it all out in the open, right?” he said, his voice like ice. “Anything else you want to say?”
I did everything I was supposed to! she wanted to scream. I followed the rules and put everyone else first, and I thought that counted for something. I thought it would matter.
But she could only stare at him, tears threatening at the corners of her eyes. He wasn’t responsible for her choices. That was on her.
A long moment passed. Then he turned and walked out the front door, slamming it shut behind him, sending a tremble through the walls and Anne’s plans crashing to the floor.