Chapter Five
CHAPTER FIVE
SOME PIECE OF SHIT NEANDERTHAL
ELOISE
Truth be told, I never thought my life would look like this.
Dusty and disorganized; a mess of paperwork I never get around to making a filing system for.
No wonder this bookstore has gone to hell.
I figured my life would look more like my father’s. Hearing him talk of his travels, reading the articles he’d written before he met my mother; they molded me into a curious young woman who itched to see the world.
He fed me what I needed to flourish; the desire to create a reality for myself.
Until a drunk driver stole the sun from me.
I’m stacking piles of dusty folders on top of one another, brushing tendrils that escaped my bun from my face with the back of my hand.
My white button-down is rolled up at the elbows and my denim shorts feel suffocating.
I should’ve shown up naked. I imagine that would’ve gone over well.
My mind flashes to the closest I’d been to naked in this place.
I still remember each of his breaths as they forced their way out against the back of my neck.
The feel of a thick cock impaling?—
Don’t go there, Eloise. He’s long gone.
I feel like I’m some sort of parallel universe Cinderella, like I lost my glass slipper and my carriage turned into a pumpkin. And now I’m left barefoot and stepping in sticky shit.
I grimace as I wiggle my toes against what’s surely old tea I’d spilled one time or another and never got to cleaning.
I can just hear Sophie, muttering over my incompetence.
I never thought I’d be the one to run this place. Then again, I never thought my parents would be killed so abruptly, just as Sophie and I were entering the domain of womanhood. Being saddled with a child and a business hadn’t suited Sophie, so she left.
And I had to put away childish dreams of traveling to keep what our parents left for us alive.
Taking out a loan against the store to pay for the upkeep of the house wasn’t the best idea, it turned out. I hadn’t had the business knowledge then that I do now to know that this market is entirely too unreliable. And after sinking all of the money our parents left behind into revamping, it’s heartbreaking to see it on the brink of loss.
As a child, I dreamed of travel and love and creating my own life.
As an adult, I put those dreams aside to keep the bigger picture alive.
The bell over the door jingles, and I hear Kitty’s whimsical greeting. Dust has created a second skin over the sweat on my legs. But this back room is too cluttered to make any sense of to anyone other than me, on the rare occasion I’m not here.
Three black garbage bags crowd the office door, and I nearly fall out of the room, trying to help whomever it is that just walked in.
Strong hands have a hold of my elbows, and for a second, I’m both confused and grateful.
And then I’m breathless as I jerk up and my eyes meet familiar ones.
Ezra.
“You’re still here,” I whisper, sure that I look as shocked as I feel. And then I remember I’ve just been wrestling cobwebs and dusty files, and I quickly straighten and adjust the knot at the end of my shirt, just above my belly button. I swipe at the hair that’s fallen loose from my bun, and I take a deep breath. “Sorry. Hi. Hey.” I’m still adjusting myself as he stands there, warm green eyes watching me flail in front of him.
“I’d wondered if I dreamed you. But here you are, as mesmerizing as you were before and right where I left you.”
He’s wearing a navy suit, and I wonder how he isn’t melting in front of me. His white dress shirt is smooth and pristine and not a hair on his head is out of place.
He is sex wrapped in what looks like expensive and tailor-fitted fabric.
“I haven’t been here the entire time,” I offer. The idea of me sitting around, pining for him, isn’t one I want bouncing around in his head.
“And yet, here you are. Almost as if you were waiting for me.”
I watch his lips as they move, and I’m nearly hypnotized. But my urge to be seen as the force that I am breaks the spell.
“Could it be that I own the place?” I ask, gesturing toward my bare feet and then the office I’d walked out of.
My question has his expressive eyebrows drawing down, his mouth attempting to form words, though none come out.
“Everything okay?” I ask, frowning.
Kitty clears her throat at the register, and I stare past him at another man dressed in a suit, facing her. My confusion has me walking toward them.
One step, two steps.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
Are they some sort of gangsters? Or spies?
Is he a hitman, hired by the big bookstores to take out the little guy?
“Why are you here?” I ask, my gaze between them.
Ezra is still stuck, his thick brows darkening his eyes.
Three steps, four steps. The other man wastes no time.
“We’re looking for Ms. Lucy Bordeau.”
I’ve taken so many steps, I’m standing in front of Kitty and the register. Ezra’s eyes are on me, determined and dark, and I’m curious how he fits into all of this.
“That’s me,” I say.
“Wait a minute,” Ezra says. “You told me your name was Eloise.”
His voice jolts me with its intensity, his hand jabbing toward me.
“My middle name is Lucille. Most people around here call me Lucy.”
Despite my insistence that they don’t.
“Look, I don’t know what kind of game you people are getting at—” Ezra starts before I interrupt him.
“ You people? ” My voice is quiet, a cold edge to it as I tilt my head to glare at him.
This is the man who ran his hand down my spine, following it with his lips. The same man who tasted my orgasm and filled me with his.
I’m dizzy with regret.
“I’m sorry, who are you, what are you doing here, and why are you speaking to my sister that way?” Kitty asks defensively, her eyes shifting between the three of us.
I don’t want to tell my little sister that I fucked the asshole in front of us.
“We’re here to make an offer on this property,” the man in front of me says.
The rest of his words are muted as I stare at Ezra, giving him a look that I wish could kill.
The letters in the mail, the emails I never answered, the calls I never returned. I’d heard rumors that some big shot was trying to buy the properties on this street. But I never thought…
This wasn’t fate.
This was maneuvering.
This was hunting prey.
“Get out,” I tell them both, pointing my finger toward the door. When the gentleman closest to me tries to speak again, I go for the jugular. “Get the hell out of here before I call the police.”
His eyes turn into slivers of dark irises, and he nods once before heading out the door.
But Ezra stays and steps toward me.
If he thinks his audacity is a match for my wrath…
“Eloise,” he starts, reaching for me.
I am weak. His fingers brush against my arm, and I almost want to give in.
Because the last time he’d touched me…
No.
“You’re disgusting,” I tell him as I yank away. I can’t look at him. I can’t know that this is the same person who’d fed me a fatal dose of hope.
All is silent as he walks away from me again. The sound of the bell jangling has me placing my hand over my chest.
Before Kitty can utter a word, I rush back into the office, tripping over the trash bags as I try to force my way in.
I pick up one of the bags, shouting as I throw it against the wall. The thunk it makes doesn’t quell the anger burgeoning inside of me. I take another and tear at it, yelling and grunting as I do.
I let some piece of shit Neanderthal fuck me, only to find out he just wanted my store. And I greeted him like a lovesick teenager!
Embarrassment and annoyance rush through me.
I’m panting, surrounded by shredded paper and absolute filth, ready to dig into another bag when I hear Kitty behind me.
“Well, that was graceful,” she says, her words dry and her eyes appraising. “Care to tell me who that hot jerk was and why it seems like you two already know each other?”
“Nobody. Don’t worry about it.” The words seem so harsh as I spit them out, so I try to soften the blow, adding, “It was nothing, Kitty.”
I’m still in this angry state that won’t allow me to completely come down to kindness, not even for my little sister.
And I hate it.
Kitty nods slowly in response, the way she does when I’m trying to spoon-feed her bullshit to avoid the truth. “Right. It sure came across as a whole lot of nothing.”
She walks over to me and grabs my hand.
I’m struck with the need to remind myself that she’s younger than I am. That while her ability to soothe is an extraordinary gift, it isn’t one I feel comfortable accepting.
“You know, you can talk to me. I'm still your sister. And you don't need to treat me with kid gloves when it comes to your dilemmas, and more importantly, when it comes to things that hurt you,” she says, attempting to lock eyes with me.
But I’m unable to commit to the moment, unable to give her the connection she desires.
Still, not wanting to hurt her feelings, I nod and take stock of the mess I’ve made. Of this office, the bookstore, and what’s left of my family.
I pull my hand away and push both of mine into my pockets. “Everything is fine. I’m not hurt, just a little pissed.” In an effort to give her something , I tell her, “That guy is so awful. I’ve seen him around before but...what an absolute jackass.”
“Yeah. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to punch him in the face or ride his face. But then it became pretty clear that the correct choice was the former.”
And just as quickly, I’m reminded of her age.
“Quit being so crass,” I tell her, attempting to hide my own flush at the thought of the words I’d told him. Of the way he’d spread me open and...
I shake my head.
She shrugs like the words never came out of her mouth at all, then her face becomes serious. “Wait, is this the first time someone has offered to buy us out? You’re not considering selling, are you?”
This is what I feared, the moment Kitty would become engrossed in the stresses of what it takes to keep this place from falling apart. Or from being taken back by the bank.
I’ve done my best here. But I’m coming to terms with the fact that it hasn’t been enough.
“It isn’t the first time.” I lean against the edge of the desk and regard her with eyes that are solely focused on her. She fidgets under my gaze, her fingers pulling at a loose string on her shorts. “But we aren’t going anywhere, and I’m not selling our legacy.”
“I hope not. It’d be such a shame to let it go.” She glances around the room and opens her mouth before closing it again. I watch her as she attempts to find the words she wants to say. “Listen, I know this probably isn’t the best time to bring this up, but I’ve been meaning to talk to you since Soph and I got back. I just...I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Her gaze meets her feet before looking back up at me to continue.
“For leaving. I’m not sorry for leaving this town, but I am sorry for leaving you. I hope you don’t ever wonder if I chose Sophie over you. I just couldn’t stay here, with Joey. With everything that reminded me of him. And I know you think I’m still just a kid, but I know what it meant. Leaving you here, by yourself, to run everything at the bookstore. If I could have done both, save myself and support you, I would have. I just need you to know that.”
There’d been a whole lot of hurt and resentment when we parted ways—correction, when she left me—but as soon as I saw her again, it all just kind of...melted away.
Kitty doesn’t understand what this kind of love is like. How she could leave me, hurt my feelings, make me cry, and I’d forgive her just at the sight of her smile.
There aren’t many people in this world worthy of unconditional love. But the girl Sophie and I dropped everything for, she is.
“It’s okay. I understand,” I say.
“You know, Luce, this tough exterior of yours cracks sometimes even when you don’t mean for it to.” Her voice has taken on that idiosyncratic way of hers, and I fight the urge to give her a blank stare.
Kitty rushes me and pulls me in for a hug before I can move away. I’m stuck between her and the desk as she plants a million kisses on my face and head before she lets me go.