Chapter Fourteen #2
The next thing he knew, she was in his arms, his hands resting at the small of her back.
He wanted to kiss her again, confess he bought this house because that summer, her dream became his.
The two of them in this kitchen, flirting and laughing, was the future he envisioned.
Letting her pick whatever she wanted, because his favorite thing was making her happy.
He licked his lips. She moved closer. His arm tightened around her, their shared heat at odds with the need to honor her cautiousness.
“Miles,” she breathed.
“Avery.” He didn’t let go. He kept his gaze steady. “The other night… You took me by surprise, and I think I gave you reason to doubt my interest. I want to kiss you again. This time, I’ll get it right.”
Her lips quivered, signaling she wanted it too. Miles held his breath, waiting for her consent. Just as it seemed she was about to say yes, Avery lurched in his arms and studied his face. Her mouth pressed into a tight line.
“It’s a bad idea.”
“Sometimes our worst ideas are our best.” He said it firmly, so she knew he meant it.
“Like me quitting my job to develop an app that helped people get out of debt. Or you opening a stationery company in a world reliant on email. We’re learning to play piano, and we need another chance to get it right.
Every time we touch, I feel … I don’t know.
Something. Something so wonderful I want to keep feeling it. ”
“Something? Miles, be practical. Opening day is this weekend and before we know it, we’ll be in different cities. You have your camp and an incredible life. But that’s not our biggest hurdle.”
That hint of her southern accent coupled with the trill in her voice told him Avery was on the verge of saying something hard to verbalize. He loosened his arms around her to give her space. She took a step back.
“Miles, all that time.” Her voice cracked with the hint of a tear. “Why didn’t you call me? I hurt for so long.”
Out the window, a breeze had picked up. Whitecaps rippled across the lake. They had to get past this, which called for honesty on both their parts.
“You know, I suffered a trauma that day. Only a year after witnessing my mother lose her life, I saw a child almost lose his. And afterward, I treated you terribly. No argument there. But no matter how I behaved, I assumed deep down, you knew I never meant to hurt you, and you’d check on me.
Instead, you left all my clothes in a bag in my car while I was at work.
By the time I found it, you’d left Maine.
A day early.” His mouth went dry. “That seemed pretty final.”
Shock filled her eyes. He didn’t want to upset her, but to move past that bad day, they needed to own their regrets and their pain.
“That’s unfair.” She dropped her head and picked at a cuticle. “The burden shouldn’t have been on me. I cried the whole way home and for months after.”
“I know. But you know what else isn’t fair? You spent a whole magical summer with me and decided after a few terrible minutes that I’m a demon you can’t trust. You defined me by my worst moment and didn’t give me the chance to apologize or defend myself.”
She sighed, took another step back, and leaned against the opposite counter.
“And in those ten years, I wanted so badly to call you, Avery.” He heard the desperation in his own voice.
“But you’d cut me off too. I waited for a sign you wanted me to reach out.
I asked Nate and Lily if you ever mentioned me.
They said you never did. Not once. Nate said you barely reacted when they brought me up.
It was like you didn’t know me. Like you never had. ”
Sadness, or maybe regret, filled her eyes. “So all that time, you missed me?”
“Of course I missed you. Why do you think I never date someone more than once?”
“Come on, Miles.” She rolled her eyes. “You expect me to believe I ruined commitment for you?”
Miles flexed his fist at his side and let it go.
“No, I expect you to believe there isn’t another you for me.”
He caught her small smile before she shook her head in disbelief.
“You think we’re still the same,” she said. “We aren’t. You need to let us go.”
“I don’t want to let us go. You’re back in my life and I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in a long time for this you.” He stepped across the alley kitchen and leaned close to her again. “Can you honestly tell me you’re not feeling them too?”
“Miles,” she said in a resigned voice. “We’ve lived this story. We know the ending, and it’s too painful. Save us from repeating the same mistake. Let us go.”
The only thing that mattered to him was her heart, and he didn’t want to break it again.
No amount of preparation could guarantee their happiness.
Maybe her fierce protection of herself doomed her other relationships.
As the man who’d done that to her, he was the last person on earth who deserved her.
Keeping her heart safe from harm would splinter his into a million tiny fragments.
“Understood.” He sighed.
Avery started for the door.
“I need to get back to the front desk. Thanks for the tour. This house is really, um, lovely.” It all came out in one hasty burst, as if she needed to get it out as quickly as possible. “Come on, Casper.”
Casper rose slowly and side-eyed Miles for ruining his sun nap.
After she shut the door, he watched her through the back window.
Everything happened in real time, but he saw it in slow motion.
She walked toward her canoe, turned, and took two steps toward the house.
Almost instantly, she reversed course and headed back to the boat.
She stood there, her gaze alternating between the canoe and his back door.
Finally, she pivoted away from the house.
Within seconds, she and Casper floated away.
Miles swiped his hand over the counter, bottlecaps skimming in every direction.
Some bounced off her Vanderbilt baseball cap, onto the floor.
As he picked up the mess, he wondered if he’d pushed her too far.
At least she knew how he felt. His assumption that she had moved on easily without him was wrong.
Avery had more to say. And if she needed closure, he wanted her to have it, regardless of its impact on him.