Chapter Twenty
Miles
Like rocks at the bottom of a river, everything had fallen into place.
Miles could tell Hayes and Anna Catherine adored Avery.
The previous night, the two couples had shared cocktails on his dock.
A mother loon had swum by with two fluffy gray chicks on her back, prompting Avery and Anna Catherine to take at least a thousand photos.
Avery posted one on Montressa’s socials and within an hour, ninety-two people had shared it.
After dinner at the lodge, Lily and Nate joined them for a spirited round of Anna Catherine’s favorite game, couples charades.
Miles and Avery won, which meant something given that Hayes and Anna routinely read each other’s minds.
This morning, Miles and Avery were taking Lennox for a walk. It had been his idea, so Hayes and Anna could have a quiet breakfast before he and Hayes visited the corporate retreat. Miles wanted to make an offer, but he needed Hayes’s approval, and they needed to raise some capital.
Bright and Early’s live broadcast had worked.
Montressa was officially fully booked for the summer, but Miles felt certain Victoria had said something mean to Avery.
When she and Lily had left for their float, Avery’s eyes were puffy, as if she’d been crying.
She’d smiled, but something felt off. Miles wasn’t afraid to confront Victoria if she’d convinced Avery to doubt his intentions.
He hoped getting to know his friends helped Avery feel welcome in his life.
Casper had tagged along on their walk. Sam walked him farther and farther each day, but Casper still needed to chase a ball. Sam’s stitches had healed, but he hadn’t reached ball-throwing shape yet.
Avery threw terribly, but Miles enjoyed pushing the stroller.
Despite his lack of experience with babies, Lennox had a special attachment to Miles.
Anna Catherine called him “the baby whisperer” because he could calm Lennox in seconds.
At first, he assumed she had liked something about his face.
But Hayes had mentioned babies liked the sound of a heartbeat.
Thanks to all his running, Miles’s heart rate rested at a nice, slow forty-eight beats per minute.
It probably lulled her into contentment, and often, when no one else could soothe her, Lennox fell asleep on Miles’s chest.
“My arm is getting tired.” Avery handed him the ball. “Switch?”
He ceded control of the stroller and threw the ball.
Lennox cooed in her seat and pointed at Casper as he retrieved it.
Miles launched the next throw high into a tree.
Casper jumped in a circle when he lost sight of it and Lennox screamed in delight as it came crashing through the branch canopy ahead, landing with a thunk on the compressed gravel.
Casper took off, jumped, and caught it on the second bounce.
“You should have been throwing the whole time.” Avery smiled.
Lennox wiggled in her seat and pointed at Casper. “Da, da, da.”
“Are you saying dog?” He stood in front of the stroller, blocking Avery’s progress to point at Casper. “Dog?”
Lennox lifted both her hands, waving at him.
“Oh, you want me to pick you up.” Within seconds, he had Lennox in his arms and Casper chasing a throw.
“Ba,” Lennox cooed.
“Did you hear that? She said ball. I’ve taught her two words.”
Avery rolled her eyes.
They were almost back to the parking lot, where he’d arranged to meet Hayes. “Now I am going to teach her to throw.”
Avery sighed. “Miles, she is too young to throw. She’s only ten months old.”
He put the wet ball in Lennox’s hand. She dropped it.
“You threw it!” Miles exaggerated his excitement.
“She dropped it.”
“I say she threw it.” He rubbed noses with Lennox, who laughed.
“Miles, Anna’s right.” Avery’s eyes turned gooey. “You’re a natural.”
He thought luck explained why Lennox liked him, especially given his lack of parenting experience.
“You haven’t seen me change a diaper,” he laughed. “I babysat for them once when Hayes cut himself cooking and needed to go to the ER for stitches. I put the diaper on backwards. Anytime it comes up, Anna laughs so hard she pees.”
“That’s karma, if you think about it.” Avery dropped her head to the side in thought. “But really, you’re great with her.”
“Thanks. This is fun for a while, but I don’t know. I never had siblings or cousins. And my family kind of dissolved during my formative years, so I’m not sure I know how to parent.”
A child needed guidance and understanding. Avery could probably do that without thinking. He wasn’t convinced he could. Miles wasn’t entirely sure he was a good enough boyfriend, and Avery deserved the best of everything.
His heartbeat quickened. He didn’t want to ruin the starry-eyed, fireflies-in-the-stomach feeling that had recently resurfaced, even though it felt like they had been together for a long time.
Life with a stroller, a dog, and Avery seemed like it could be so fluid, so easy.
This wasn’t just a walk. They were trying on a future and silently asking themselves if it fit.
Avery might be imagining them as a family. What else was she supposed to think?
The next logical step for Avery would be marriage.
With Lily’s wedding looming, she had to be thinking about it.
He didn’t know if Avery wanted to get married, especially after what happened with Trent.
Victoria had given Miles the nickname Mr. One and Done.
And in some way, the moniker fit. Being a boyfriend was new to him.
If Avery expected him to leapfrog right into a proposal, he wasn’t there yet.
He handed Lennox the ball again, and she dropped it.
This time, his praise was less enthusiastic.
His mouth went dry. He heard his own heart pounding rapidly and placed his free hand on his chest to check.
This was not forty-eight beats per minute.
It was double that. His forehead broke out in a cold sweat.
Avery put a hand on his shoulder and the other on Lennox’s back.
“Miles.” Her calm voice carried a hint of alarm as she tried to lock eyes.
He focused on the Mail Jeep and walked toward it. If only he could climb inside and hide until whatever this feeling was passed.
“Do you need me to take her?”
Avery moved her hand to his forearm, walking beside him, still trying to catch his eye.
He gazed at Lennox instead, aware of the concern in Avery’s voice and touch.
After marriage came kids—and yes, he wanted to be a parent, but something could happen to one of his children, or him, or his wife.
Loss was a lonely path. Robert Frost lied.
Sometimes, the road less traveled was riddled with brambles and thorns.
Anna Catherine’s laugh cackled from over near the lodge, coming their way. It was not the time to discuss their future. He needed to pull himself together so Avery didn’t think she’d done something wrong.
“Mama’s coming and we need to clean your hands. Uncle Miles gave you gross dog-slobber-ball hands.” Avery fished out a wipe from the diaper bag.
She automatically knew what to do. And although Hayes and Anna Catherine called him “the baby whisperer,” Mr. One and Done had a lot to learn. Right now, he needed to stop thinking about the future and lighten the present mood. As much for himself as for everyone else.
“Hey, hypocrite.” His raspy voice hinted at his anxiety. He forced a smile, determined to smooth out his tone. “You told me dog saliva was equivalent to hand sanitizer.”
Avery let out a laugh and shook her head.
Lennox dropped the ball again. Casper caught it and she squealed.
“Teaching her to throw, I like it.” Hayes strode across the parking lot, Anna Catherine holding his hand.
“Miles, the two of you are so cute with a baby.” Anna Catherine sighed, putting a hand to her heart. “Your kids will be so adorable.”
For a second, everything stood still. Hayes shot Anna a questioning look, Avery busied herself cleaning Lennox with the wipe, Casper pooped in the corner of the parking lot, and Miles wondered if everyone could tell he wasn’t himself. A teardrop of cool sweat trickled down his spine.
Anna shrugged. “All the girls love Miles.”
“He hypnotizes her with all that charm.” Avery put the wipe away and pulled a poop bag out of her pocket.
“That’s our baby whisperer.” Anna grinned proudly.
Avery’s brow furrowed. Miles felt for Avery. This conversation had to be hard for her. He wondered if she assumed she’d have a baby by now. She probably did. Her sister was about to have her third.
He handed Lennox back to Anna, who placed her in the stroller. He wiped the cool sweat off his lip as his mouth went dry. His chest pounded in his ears again. His lungs tightened. He unlocked the Mail Jeep as a distraction, hoping no one else noticed his shaking hand.
“Hayes, we should go.” They’d be early if they left now, but Miles had an overwhelming urge to be anywhere but in this parking lot, keeping a cyclone of anxiety at bay.
Miles locked eyes with Avery, who had a poop bag over her hand, ready for the pickup.
Her expression spun through a pain-stricken kaleidoscope of sympathy, fear, worry, melancholy.
Emotions blended together, spread apart, and fell back together.
She had to be questioning if they could weather all storms.
“I’ll see you after lunch. We’ll swim.” He quickly pecked her warm cheek.
Her arms wrapped around him, and her mouth came to his ear.
“You’re pale,” she whispered. “Are you okay?”
He nodded quickly, so she wouldn’t have time to decipher the truth in his eyes. He’d be fine. All he needed was space.
“I’m fine.” He placed another kiss on her forehead and left her with something normal to reassure her. “Have fun with Lily and Anna Catherine. We’ll swim later.”