Chapter 4
four
Bailey
W hat the hell am I thinking? Earlier I’d attempted to tame the instant lust I felt for this man when I’d seen him from a distance. Up close, I don’t know how I made it through supper without either collapsing into a pile of goo or making a total fool out of myself.
There’s still time for either outcome tonight. Or during the next four weeks. It would be wise for me to figure out his schedule then find reasons to be far away from the kitchen during those times. I’ve never considered myself a wise woman. And this man… this man seriously tempts me to forget the promises I made to myself when I lost my last job.
There is something familiar about him, but a wrongness in that familiarity that confuses me. Like I should know who he is. Or maybe it’s who he is supposed to be. I really don’t know and need to bury this dangerous train of thought. I don’t have time to figure out why some random guest on the ranch makes me question my strategic and ironclad plans.
The silence as we walk shimmers with an unnamed tension between us. It’s uncomfortable yet not. I am totally confused by this man. And my reactions to him.
Oh, the lust I understand and I’m pretty sure that’s not going away unless I do something stupid. Like imagining what I feel might be reciprocated. He stared at me all during the meal while attempting not to. My body felt the almost physical touch of his gaze and it was difficult to keep my reaction hidden. Squeezing my thighs together certainly didn’t help.
I can do this. Get him set up to use the kitchen then maintain minimal contact. Focus on creating the flavors to make the mead spectacular and worthy of bearing the winery’s label. There’s a delivery of grapes from another vineyard coming in a few weeks and there’s prep work to do to start the vinification process. There is no time for anything else.
“The key Alice gave you will let you in the delivery entrance to the kitchen. It won’t open any other doors.” There, that should be enough to keep him from wandering into the winery.
“Yep, she told me. That’s all I need.” His voice cracks the tiniest bit on the word ‘need’ and suddenly I’m aware of how my bra moves over my nipples making them more sensitive. No, I tell my wayward lady bits. Not happening.
“There’s staples like flour and sugar. Some spices. But not much of anything else. Everything was cleared out after the last event.”
“I’ll try to keep my list small.”
“That’s not necessary. I’ll get whatever you want.” We reach the public winery building and I lead him around to the back door. “Go ahead and use the key to see if it works properly. I had a little trouble with this door when I first got here.”
He nods and steps in front of me to open the lock. The breeze swirls around us, washing his masculine scent over me. Inhaling deeply, I recognize a subtle essence that must be him mixed with an overtone of sandalwood and patchouli. Two of my favorite scents. I stop myself from leaning closer just to breathe him in.
Pulling the door open, he steps back with a flourish. “Tah daah.”
“Light switch is on the right.”
Bright light fills the wide delivery area and I follow him in and shut the door. “Make sure this is always closed. Out here there’s a lot of little critters who would love to move in. It’s a constant battle.”
“Door closed. Gotcha.”
“The storeroom is on the left, walk-in cooler and freezer on the right. Go straight ahead for the kitchen.” I’m not about to clean up after this man should he be a messy cook so I point out the dishwashing area and the janitor’s closet as we pass the closed door. Like he knows what I’m doing, he gives me a wide grin.
“Wow,” he says when he steps into the kitchen. The facility hasn’t been used often and all the stainless-steel tables and stacks of pans shine with a pristine silver glint. “This is great. How is it connected to the winery?”
Gaze narrowed, I stare at him a moment but sense no ulterior motives. Mentally I berate myself. Not everyone is out to steal my ideas or use my talent to get ahead. I huff out a breath that makes him frown. Even that dour look heightens my interest. Down, girl. Keep it together. “The door next to that tall warming unit. Once the winery is in full operation, it’ll be changed to a double, swinging door.”
He crossed to the door and peers through the oval window cut in the top third of the door. “And that’s where you do your wine making thing?”
“That’s the public area for tastings and hosted gatherings. Where there will be food service eventually. The main operations are in the large building closer to the vineyard. I think eventually Alice wants to open up part of the production area behind a glass wall so guests can take a tour to view the process.”
“How do you feel about that possibility?”
Surprised at his question, I stammer a bit before settling on a truthful answer. “She’s the boss. But it makes me nervous. Being put on display. I’ll deal with that when it happens. For now I have a workroom in this building. At least there, when I’m creating new flavor profiles and mixtures of grapes… at least that won’t be available to anyone.”
The stress I put on the final word is a warning. His eyebrows arch slightly then he nods. He got the message. Returning to the center of the kitchen he says in a flat tone, “Let’s get started on my list.”
Early the next morning I pull into the parking lot of the discount and grocery store and yawn. After rolling my shoulders, I exit my car and yawn again. I was restless last night and didn’t sleep well. Even after chasing the lingering sensual need with my favorite battery operated buzz toy, Mars’ presence in my mind kept me awake.
I need to figure out why he affects me the way he does. How to counteract those tingling emotions. And definitely how to stay away when everything within me wants to be closer. Shit, why can’t life be easy. I thought I was past all that when I came here. I will not allow another man to distract me.
Before filling my cart with groceries, I wander through the office supply section and pick up a couple plastic clipboards to use for Mars’ shopping lists and meal planning. This will be a great way to keep communications open without being in the same room. Avoidance? Yes, but I need to do what I can to protect my work. And myself.
While I wait in the checkout line—because I try not to use self-checkouts whenever possible—I study the variety of magazines displayed there. I have no interest in the new and improved diet and exercise regimes each cover promises to be the best ever. I’ve come to terms with the shape of my body and try to celebrate it rather than starve myself into someone else’s ideal. Not that attempting that ever worked anyway.
Ready to turn away and unload my cart, a photo on a glossy entertainment magazine catches my attention. Leaning closer, I peer at the oversized headline. Where is Mars Kane hiding?
Mars Kane? I stare at the photo of a concert stage, the singer bending to allow a cluster of screaming fans to touch his hand. His skin glows with…
At the sound of a clearing throat, I glance back at the growing line behind me. “Sorry,” I say to the man with crossed arms and hurry to put my items on the short conveyer belt. At the last minute I toss a copy of the magazine on top of a bunch of bananas.
I have a cooler in my trunk where I stow the refrigerated and frozen items. Then I sit behind the wheel with the magazine to read the article. This is the man I met? The man taking a break from public life? I had no idea.
Oh my god. I’m in lust with a rock star. The absurdity of the notion haunts me the entire drive back to the ranch.
As—bad—luck would have it, Mars approaches my car as I’m getting ready to unload the small haul. He looks different this morning. He’s not wearing those tight, I can see every muscle jeans. I’m not sure whether I’m happy, or a bit disappointed. Not that he doesn’t look damn fine in normal jeans and a chest hugging tee shirt. The breeze tosses his hair to a sexy mess.
But it’s his grin that shakes me to my core. The photos in the magazine show only a posed and wicked twist of his lips. Today his smile is easy and relaxed. “I saw you pulling in. Figured since these are my groceries, I should help get them put away.”
I hadn’t planned on seeing him today and now that I know who he really is, I don’t understand why he’s so… nice. The article certainly didn’t paint him in that light. Their take made him out to be more of a self-important asshole. Someone who abandoned his fans on a whim by disappearing with no warning. The author of the piece made it sound like he’s done this before.
Deep in my gut I sense there must be a good reason for his actions and I long to help.
It’s none of my business. I don’t have time for celebrity histrionics. I would, however, appreciate help carrying in the heavy bags. “Sure,” I finally answer and press my key fob to open the trunk.
Standing with his hands at his hips, Mars stares at the cooler surrounded by numerous bags and shakes his head. “I didn’t order all this, did I?”
“No. I had a list of my own, too. We can sort it out inside.”
“Where do you live?” he asks casually as he gathers a number of bags in each hand and follows me into the kitchen.
Last night I’d waited until half an hour after he left the kitchen to climb the stairs to my apartment. I even kept the lights off in the rooms facing his accommodations. I won’t be able to keep this a secret though. He’ll find out soon enough. “There’s an apartment upstairs.”
“Oh. That’s convenient.”
“It is. I’ll unpack the bags and you can put your stuff where you want it.” I hand him a pair of bags with frozen items. “Put these in the freezer, please. I’ll get my stuff when I go upstairs.”
We work in silence until he notices the magazine and pulls it to his side of the counter to study the cover. Tilting his head, he arches one eyebrow and his nose scrunches just the tiniest, sexiest bit. “So. Checking up on me?”