Chapter Twelve
Antonio
I came back to Tessa’s suite with the food I’d promised.
Every step down the hall was harder than it should have been.
The whole house had an unsettled hush blanketing it.
At the door, I heard Tessa and Veda speaking softly to each other.
Didn’t surprise me. I knew Tessa’s sister could help her see whatever it was Tessa needed to see.
I paused, not to eavesdrop but because I didn’t want to step into something mid-breakdown.
Mostly because I’d need to go kill someone and I knew she needed me here now more than she needed me to kill Denton.
The door opened and Veda slipped out, half turning before she saw me. Her eyes were red rimmed, but she didn’t look weak. She looked dangerous. She shut the door behind her with a soft click and faced me, arms folded.
“She’ll be OK,” Veda said, voice level. “Don’t make it worse. I almost like you, Tonio. Might even try to convince Darby to hang out with you more. But I won’t hesitate to kill you if you hurt Tessa. She’s not like us.”
“You think I don’t know that?” I wanted to get up in her face and show her she couldn’t talk to me like that but couldn’t seem to make that step toward her. Instead, I took a breath. “She shot a man tonight, Veda. It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”
Veda looked me up and down like she found me lacking.
“She’s steadier than you think.” Veda stepped closer.
“You’re the one who looks like you’re about to lose your shit.
” She shook her head. “Look. I won’t say this more than once.
Don’t fuck this up, Tonio. She’s a nurturer.
A protector only when she has to be. You should be thanking your lucky stars she felt she needed to be with you. Do you understand what that means?”
I think I finally realized I might have a chance at this because I knew exactly what it meant that Tessa protected me. “She feels more for me than simple friendship.”
She looked at the tray I carried with the food I’d brought for Tessa, then back at me. “And bring her the dinner first. She needs to eat if she can stomach it.”
Veda slid past, shoulder brushing mine. I stood there a moment longer, collecting myself. Then I went inside.
Tessa stood at the window staring out past the trees to the ridge. She turned when I came in, and I saw at once that Veda had been right. The color was back in her face. She still looked fragile but not like she might shatter at any moment.
The relief that hit nearly drove me to my knees. Tessa wasn’t broken. Like her sister said. She was a nurturer and she’d forced herself into the protector role for multiple reasons. But she’d killed to save me. I had to remember that. I owed her my life, and I knew I’d give it willingly.
I set the tray on the table. “Are you hungry?”
She shrugged. “I could eat.”
I uncovered the food, setting plates on the table. Pad Thai, two spring rolls, some soup. One thing I loved about this place, whenever we had to be here, Seth brought a versatile chef with us. When Tessa sat down, I poured her a glass of water.
We ate in silence. I watched her as she chewed one slow bite at a time, obviously thinking over carefully what she wanted to say. When she finished a few bites, she pushed her hair behind her ear and looked at me straight on.
“So, is this when you read me the riot act?” she said. “Or are you saving it for after dessert?”
I set my fork down, careful not to bang it on the table. “You want to go first, or should I?”
“By all means,” she said. “Unload.”
“You lied to me,” I said. “You said you’d stay back, and you hid in the van. After everything that happened, you still --”
“I lied,” she said, cutting me off. “You’re mad I lied, or mad I was right?”
“Both,” I snapped. “You put yourself at risk for nothing. If something happened to you --”
“If something happened to me, it would have been my call. Not yours.”
“You’re not hearing me, Tessa.”
“No,” she said, standing up. “Besides, you lied to me first. You went back on your word. You said I’d be with you every step of the way. The way I see it, I was just following through with what you’d already promised.”
I stood as well. We faced off across the table, both of us tense and spoiling for a fight. Also, I thought she needed the expulsion of emotion in some way that wouldn’t make her cry. Because I would absolutely burn the world down if she fucking cried.
“You don’t get to throw yourself into danger just because you think you’re expendable,” I said. “That’s not how this works.”
She laughed. “Says the man who said, ‘We go in together, we come out together.’“
“That was before I realized you didn’t value your own life.”
She stepped around the table, squaring off. “You know what’s funny, Tonio? You broke your word first. You said you’d never put me at risk, and you did. You said you’d never lie to me, and you did. So don’t get up on a high horse about broken promises.”
I clenched my jaw. “I broke my word to keep you alive. Which I will not apologize for!”
“Then admit it. Don’t act like this is all on me.”
The room was bright, the table between us.
And I knew like Goddamned fury she didn’t believe I thought any of this was her fault.
She needed a way to lash out and I’d give her everything she needed.
If that meant I took her wrath, so be it.
I felt my pulse in my throat, tight and pounding.
She was breathing fast, eyes locked on mine.
“You want the truth?” I said. “The sight of you holding that gun --”
“What? Made you proud? Made you angry? What do you want from me, Tonio?”
“I want you alive,” I said. “That’s all I want. I want you alive and here with me. Not… not another fucking ghost to haunt me.” My voice cracked, just a fraction. This hit me too fucking close to home and way out of nowhere.
She moved nearly close enough to touch. “Stop treating me like a tragedy you have to manage, Tonio. I’m not another thing you need to fix.”
“You’re not a thing to me, Tessa. You’re the only Goddamn person in this house who isn’t broken.”
She stepped in. “So let me make my own mistakes. Let me fight for you the way you fight for everyone else.”
“You want to die a martyr?”
“I want to live,” she said. “But not if it means being benched for the rest of my life.”
We were nearly chest to chest now. She stared up at me, unblinking, daring me to look away first.
“Tessa,” I said, “you’re driving me fucking insane.”
She bared her teeth. “Good.”
I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in, not gentle. She didn’t resist, curling her fingers in my shirt, her fists tight. For a second I thought she’d take a swing at me. I wouldn’t have blamed her.
Instead, she yanked me down by the collar and bit my lower lip. I kissed her back just as hard, growling into her mouth as I flicked my tongue. All the while, she tried her best to get my shirt off.
With a screech, Tessa yanked my shirt open.
Buttons went flying but she breathed a sigh of relief.
Like getting my shirt off had been the most important task of her life.
My racing heart gave an excited thump and I followed where she led.
If this was what she needed, I’d provide.
Then I’d reassure her and give her anything and everything she needed.
Even if I had to burn the fucking world down to do it.
I pressed her against the wall and caged her there, both hands gripping her hips. She twisted, fighting to get closer, but I held her in place and took her mouth again, my tongue bruising hers in an erotic slide. She tasted of mint and anger. She bit my lip, and I grinned into it.
She shoved me backward, moving herself away from the wall, then stalked after, grabbing my face with both hands.
The kiss was brutal and I let her have it.
When I gripped her hips and pulled her closer to me, she scissored my thigh and rubbed her pussy over my leg to get the friction she needed.
I grasped the curve of her ass, squeezing until she hissed.
“You want it rough?” I said, breath hot against her jaw.
She snorted. “I want you to stop acting like I’ll break.”
I picked her up. She locked her legs around my waist and buried her face in my neck, inhaling deep before fastening her mouth on the skin and sucking.
Hard. I moved us to the bed, but she twisted out of my grip at the last second, landing on her feet.
Her shirt was off before I could touch her again and she stripped off her bra, throwing it at my head, and grinned.
The relief on her face nearly brought me to my knees.
If she needed rough sex to make her feel better, by God I would give it to her.
“Move it, Miles. Or are you getting old?”
I yanked off my own shirt and stalked toward her, pushing her backward onto the mattress. I still had on my pants but it was only a matter of time. Besides, the second my dick touched her -- anywhere -- I knew I’d go off like a bottle rocket.
She laughed, a wild, sharp sound. As she stripped her pants and panties in one go, I took time to study her face.
Yeah, she looked wild, and I knew she’d break down at some point -- and that was good, but I’d seen that look in my own eyes after an especially intense kill.
She needed a way to rid her body of the excess negative adrenaline.
Her skin seemed to glow in the cold light. She reached for me, impatient, but I caught her wrists and pinned them to the mattress, covering her smaller body with my much bigger one.
She bucked, trying to throw me. I pressed down harder. She grinned up at me, daring me to keep her there. I slid my knee between hers and forced her legs apart. She growled, arching up, trying to get my cock against her, but I made her wait.
“You gonna keep me here all night?” she said, breathless, hips rocking upward, a mate looking to attract.