Chapter 6
He persuaded his brother to hold off on the investigation and reluctantly agreed.
“I hope you know what you are doing.”
“I will try to get her to open up to me. It does not feel right to try and dig into her life. I don’t want to start a relationship based on a lack of trust. Just let me do this my way for now.”
Now, he was at her place, in bed, after a rather hectic bout of lovemaking. The more time he spent with her, the more drawn he was, and he knew without a doubt that he was falling in love with her.
It wasn’t just the intensely powerful lovemaking; a vulnerability about her made him want to slay dragons for her. He tried to find out the source of her pain and do something about it.
He tried to right all the wrongs in her life and assure her that she would never suffer again. But he was going to have to be careful. She was prickly and fiercely independent. She was also averse to having a relationship for some reason.
“You are quiet.” He was waiting for his heartbeat to even out and realized ruefully that his body was still shuddering. He could not get enough of her, and if he had his way,
“So are you.” She pointed out.
“Just thinking. Are you still insisting that it is not a relationship?”
Raising herself, she studied his handsome face. She was getting more than a little scared. When he had insisted that they see each other almost every night, she had protested and argued, but not strenuously. “It’s not, and I wish you would not pursue this useless line of argument.”
His eyes bored into hers and gave her the uncanny feeling that he was seeing into her soul. “What?”
“Just wondering what you think this is we are doing here.”
“We are having sex.”
His thick brows lifted, his sensuous lips quirking in amusement. “Keep lying to yourself.”
She bristled at that. She was wrapped in his arms, and the feeling was beautiful. But it would not last.
“I cannot be involved with you.” She insisted.
“Just me specifically?”
“Yes.”
“I am going to need reasons.”
“I don’t have to give you one.”
“I am going to insist on it. Is it because I am a lawyer?”
“That’s one.”
“I see. So, I take it that the bastard who did a number on you was in the same line of business as I am, and you are unfairly judging me because of something he did.”
Shifting her head, she avoided his eyes and stared at his chest. “I don’t have to answer that.”
Tilting her chin, he kept his fingers there so she had no choice but to look at him. “Not good enough. Why don’t I fill in the gaps? You were involved with this poor excuse of a man who happens to be a lawyer.
He took advantage of you, and something dramatic happened, and that something not only turned you off men and relationships but of lawyers as well. Is he someone at your firm?”
She felt her heart starting to pound unsteadily inside her chest as she marveled at his perceptiveness. “Of course not.”
He nodded, his expression impassive. “Somewhere else then. So, it happened before you went to work at your present place of employment.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I am making it mine, and the sooner you realize I am not going anywhere, the sooner we can start trusting each other. I am not him, April. I am the guy who is dying to be part of your life- “
“For how long?”
“For as long as we have breaths in our bodies.”
Her breath caught at the sincerity in his deep voice and the intense look on his handsome face.
“You don’t know me.” She whispered.
“You are right. I don’t know you, but I ask you to open up. I am here telling you I want to get to know you.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“All right, won’t.”
“Because you are afraid I will do the same thing he did to you.” Antwan was trying to tamp down the anger and frustration. “Is that fair to me, or for that matter, is it fair to you? Unless, of course, you are still in love with this son of a bitch.”
“I am not.”
He stared at her for a minute as if assessing the truth of that statement before nodding. “Then you are allowing him to dictate your life, and I will not allow that.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then let me understand. Tell me what is so awful that you must keep it a secret from me.”
“We are not in a relationship.”
Letting go of her chin, he put her away from him and eased up against the pillows. April watched as he dragged long fingers through his untidy ink-black hair, his expression a cross between frustration and anger, and felt her heart turning over.
He was magnificent, all muscles and planes. And he was so handsome that she could spend the entire time staring at him. He was also from a distinguished, extraordinarily wealthy, and influential family. She did not belong in that society and would not allow herself to have hope.
“Here is the thing,” he finally spoke. “We are in a relationship, whether you want to acknowledge it. Here is another fact – the last two nights, we have been so overcome with desire that we did not even think about protection.”
He turned to look at her, eyes wandering over her face. Her thick curls were tumbling artlessly around her face and shoulders, her eyes limpid from their shared passion. “Here is another fact – I have never not used protection when it comes to sex. It has been drummed inside our heads since we were teenagers.
We are Collins, and it is of the utmost importance that we be careful. With you, I don’t give a rat’s ass because the feel of your bare flesh wrapped around me is something I want to feel for the rest of my life.”
“You don’t know what you are saying.” She whispered, her body getting weak.
“I am falling in love with you, April, and I think you are starting to feel the same way,” he continued.
“No.” She shook her head wildly, and he felt she was trying to deny it more to himself than to him. “I can’t.”
She started to get off the bed when he stopped her by snagging her arm and pulling her back against him.
“I want children with you.” He pulled her on his lap, where he was already getting hard. “I want to marry you- “
“Stop it! Damn you!” She was fighting the tears, her breasts heaving, eyes bright.
“I can’t. Whatever it is, I don’t care- “
“I do. And if you want us to continue seeing each other, I suggest you cease immediately and let us enjoy what we have now.”
“I want more.”
“That’s your damn problem. I am not prepared to offer more, and if you continue with this pressure, I will stop seeing you. Is that clear?”
“April- “
“Is that clear?”
Antwan fought the frustration with great difficulty, realizing that in the state she was in if he continued to pursue this line of conversation, she was going to cut him out of her life. For now, he was going to drop it.
“Well?” she demanded.
“As you wish.” He said quietly.
April closed her eyes briefly and did not know how much she was holding her breath as she waited for his response until he agreed. She did not want to lose him, but at the same time, she had to be realistic. He had no idea what he was saying about falling in love with her, and she was going to enjoy this while it lasted. “I love having you around.”
“For the sex?” He asked lightly, determined to appear all right with the arrangement.
“Something like that.” Her hands spread over his chest, and she smiled at his muscles flexing. “You do it so well.”
“Why don’t we do it again?”
“I thought you would never ask.” She whispered against his mouth.
The lovemaking was so gentle that night that she could not bear it. It was as if he was showing her what he was not allowed to say, and before long, April was weeping, the tears sliding down her cheeks as he moved into her slowly, his eyes fixed on her face.
She wanted to cry out at the unfairness of it all, and as the climax slammed into her forcefully, she buried her face in his neck, her body trembling. She was so overcome that even after he had achieved his climax, she was still clinging to him.
Afterward, she tumbled into an exhausted slumber with her body wrapped around his. But he could not sleep. Holding her slender body against his, he lay there with his thoughts in utter chaos.
He had given her the chance to come clean and had revealed aspects of his life to her, but she had remained evasive. He could only surmise from the conversation that she had been involved with a lawyer, and he had broken her heart. But it was much more than that; his instinct was hardly ever wrong.
She never spoke about her parents or any other siblings. He had told her things about his brothers, their wives, and his niece and nephews. And even if he hadn’t talked about them, their information was all over the internet. She was hiding something, and he could feel it.
She was also lying about her feelings for him.
It was not just sex, and he was mature enough to realize that. This last lovemaking had proven it as well. But she was scared and running away from her feelings.
He had no damn idea what to do. If he pressed, she would run away from him, but at the same time, he could not continue in this manner. He wanted to take her out on dates and have her meet his family.
He was a family person who was brought up in a happy home. Aside from the usual squabbles and fights growing up in a household of boys, He was close to his brothers and would do anything for them. He wanted to share his joy of finding the woman he loved with them.
He was relegated to sneaking over to her place at night and not allowed to take her to his place. He was uncomfortable with that arrangement and unsure how much longer he could put up with it.
But instinctively, he knew if he pressured her into doing otherwise, he was going to lose her, and the thought of that was sending panic through his system. For now, his hands were tied.
Tipping his head down, he brushed back the hairs off her forehead, his fingers gentle. Her face was buried on his chest, one hand curled into a fist on his stomach. His heart clenched tight, making it difficult for him to breathe as he stared at the exquisite face.
He had never felt such a great need to be with someone before, and it was killing him that she was resisting him. Bending his head, he kissed her forehead and settled back to try and get some sleep.
*****
“I am running late.” She was gulping coffee and pouring more into her go cup. “Aren’t you going to work?”
“I have a late start today.” He had gotten up before her and came downstairs to make the coffee. By the time she showered and dressed, he was already downstairs.
“How fortunate for you.”
He loved her outfit. The apricot dress was paired with a white short-sleeve jacket, and she wore apricot-colored heels. Her untamed curls were slicked back into an elegant chignon at the nape of her neck.
“What?”
“I am just admiring you.” He sent her a faint smile that had her staring at him curiously.
“Is something wrong?”
“No. Why?”
“I- nothing.” She waited while he finished his coffee and came to stand before her.
“I don’t have time for it. “His mouth swallowed up the rest as he kissed her with a tenderness that had the tears burning the back of her eyes. He had also done that last night, and it had taken a lot for her to recover. Her hands came around his neck as she molded her body to his as if the contact was of utmost importance to her.
Ending the kiss, he lifted his head, his blue eyes smoldering as he stared at her.
“I love you.” He whispered thickly.
“Don’t,” She whispered, her fingers curling into his shirt. “Please don’t do this to me.”
“I love you, April.” He continued steadfastly. “Have a nice day at work.” He kissed her forehead, and she could feel the tears threatening. She hated him for making her yearn for something she could never have, and she wanted to punish him.
“I don’t think we should see each other tonight.”
He had been expecting something like that and was prepared for it.
“I agree. I have not been spending much time with my family since we met, and they are feeling neglected, especially my niece and nephews.”
“Oh.” He almost laughed at the confused expression on her exquisite face.
Tilting her chin up, he pecked her on the lips before letting go. “If you need me, just call.”
“No.” She shook her head, frightened at how bereft she felt without him holding her. “You should enjoy the time with your family. I think we should take two nights off.”
“Sure?”
She nodded uncertainly.
“As you wish.”
She had to tamp down the disappointment that he had not insisted.
“Well- I guess I will see you Friday then.”
He shook his head. “I am afraid Friday is out of the question. Mother is hosting a charity function to raise money for the disabled men and women of the military. I am expected to be there.”
“I see.” April felt as if she were drowning in panic. Three days without seeing him would be too much, and she could not bear it. “I suppose it will run late?”
“I suspect as much.” Antwan watched the indecisiveness flicker over her expressive face and found himself holding his breath as he wondered if she would act.
“Perhaps you could- “She shook her head. “No, it doesn’t matter.”
“I would like you to say it, April.”
Heaving out a breath, she continued. “You could come over if it’s not too late.”
“Would you like me to?” he asked her quietly.
Lifting her head, she stared at him and felt her heart thumping. His shell pink shirt was unbuttoned halfway, revealing the white undershirt he had on and the tails hanging over his ash-gray dress pants. His hair was still damp from his shower and curled at the front. She wanted to wrap herself in his arms and never leave, which frightened her.
“I would.” She admitted huskily. “Please.”
Heaving a sigh of relief, he snatched her into his arms and kissed her roughly as a reward for her bravery.
With her arms wrapped around his neck, she leaned into him and hid her face in his chest. “I have to go.” She whispered.
“I know.”
“I suppose we should take the two days to think.”
“About?”
“What we are doing. And if you want to be with me.” Lifting her head, she stared at him. “I suppose you will be taking a date to that thing?”
He had to hide the triumphant smile at what he knew was jealousy on her part.
“Would you care if I did?” he asked her quietly.
“It’s up to you.” She tried for an offhanded shrug but could not quite manage it. Inside, she was a roiling mass of insecurities and confusion.
“You have not answered the question. Would you care if I did?”
She started to say she would not care, but the words would not come out of her mouth.
“Yes, I would.”
He felt the relief bursting inside his chest. Cupping her cheek, he brushed his lips against hers gently. “Then I won’t.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.” He affirmed.
April had to blink away the tears. She did not understand what was happening to her and did not dare explore it, not right now, anyway.
“I have to go.”
“Of course.” Moving away from her, he grabbed the go cup and, with his free hand, took hers, linking their fingers together. April never considered pulling away from him. Nor did she resist when he opened her door and kissed her goodbye. Nor did she wonder at the tears blurring her vision while she drove to work.
*****
“I had no idea you were coming in today.” Antwan looked up from the contract he was perusing to see his brother striding into his office.
“I met with a client and decided to do it here. What are you working on?”
“Just going over the contract for Mills Food.” He frowned slightly. “It looks straightforward- “
“But you have questions about the fine print.” Sitting on the edge of the desk, he held out his hand. “Let’s have a look.”
Antwan handed it over without hesitation. He was not insecure about his position in the firm and often sought guidance from his brothers or even his parents.
“It says here that the merger with the bigger entity will occur within a few months.”
“It does, yes.”
“And it also states that the entire company will be overhauled.” Alex lifted his head to stare at his brother. “You realize what that means.”
Antwan nodded. “People will be losing their jobs, and the company Ronald Mills and his sister worked so hard to build will be dismantled.”
“Are you comfortable with that?”
“No,” he stated unequivocally. “You know I am not. But I am trying to find a way to make it work for both parties.”
“Krafton does not give a flying damn about the ‘little people’ who worked their asses off for Mills over the years. All they are interested in is the buyout. Your job as their lawyer is to see that the Mills are not shafted.”
“I am trying to find a way- “
“There is a way, and it’s right here in the fine prints. When Mills agreed to the merger, it was promised that Krafton would make sure there would not be any fallout from the companies merging, including keeping the employees’ jobs.
Go into that conference room and remind them of that goddamned promise, and don’t leave until you have hammered out a satisfactory deal.”
Antwan nodded as he retrieved the contract. “Thanks.”
“You are welcome. Now that that is out of the way, why don’t you tell me what is happening with you.”
“The merger- “
“Bullshit. Spill.”
Leaning back in his chair, Antwan sighed in irritation. “You have been talking to Andre.”
“Yes, and even so, I have eyes in my head. My son is missing his uncle, and our niece and nephew are complaining that they have not seen you in ages.”
“It’s not ages- “He clamped his lips shut as his brother lifted a brow. “I intend to leave here early, pick Marissa up from school, and take her for ice cream. I also will make it my duty to have swimming lessons with my nephews and treat them to pizza.”
Alex sent him an amused look. “I think my wife, as well as Andre’s, will have an issue with them having pizza in the middle of the week.”
“I will charm my sisters-in-law and get them to see things my way. You know I can.”
“I do.” Alex gave him a level look that had him shifting in his chair.
“I am not ready to talk about her yet.”
“Complicated?”
“Yes.”
“In that case, I will see you later.”
Giving his brother a grateful look, he watched as he left and closed the door behind him. Looking over at his phone, he managed not to pick it up and call her. It was time to leave the ball in her court for a change.