Chapter 4
Lauren Sky’s heart ached inside her chest as she stood in the mirror applying her morning face.
She could practically still feel Demi’s presence in her home, or was he in her heart?
She couldn’t tell, but the yearning his abandonment had left behind was the most painful thing she had ever felt.
Her entire world had been shaken. The routine that she had followed her entire adult life was changed, and she couldn’t seem to do anything other than grieve.
Moments of nothingness were what she missed most. Space he filled.
Air he breathed. Noises he made. She missed the little things, and it wasn’t until now that she realized that the little things were the big things.
They were the things she had fallen in love with.
It was an antagonizing existence to have something for so long, only for it to be abruptly taken away.
“Maaaa!”
DJ seemed to be on parrott status these days. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Seemed to be the only name he knew, but she knew her impatience had more to do with Demi leaving than with her son’s needs. There was no daddy present to call on, so everything was on her.
“I’m coming, son. Quit yelling in this house like a madman!
” She called back. She misted her setting spray over her face and slipped into tight jeans and a cashmere sweater before hurrying her feet to the living room.
High heel booties and a jumbo Chanel bag, and she was ready.
“Okay, I’m ready to roll. Let’s get you to practice! ”
“Coach Ny said every parent has to sign up to bring something to the banquet this weekend. Did you sign up yet? I told him you would bring the mac and cheese.”
She ushered him out the door, making sure to lock it, and set the alarm behind her before rushing to the car.
She was extra cautious these days. Demi’s street ties were dangerous.
She had been a victim to his enemies once before, and she had promised herself it would never happen again.
The 9mm handgun in her bag guaranteed her and her son’s protection.
“You said I’d make what, now? I have to work this weekend, DJ. I may not be able to make your banquet. It’s your father’s weekend. I’m sure he can make sure you have a dish to contribute to the banquet,” Lauren said.
She glanced in her rearview mirror and didn’t miss her son’s facial expression. It had been the same expression he had given her every day since Demi had packed up his things and left. Sadness. Disappointment. Anger.
“Dad can’t cook! I already signed up for mac and cheese, Ma, please!” DJ protested.
“I’ll work it out. Don’t worry, baby.” She sighed because she had no idea how she would pull off her event and make it to the banquet, but she couldn’t afford to let her son down.
The rest of the drive was silent, and when they pulled up to the field, she hurried inside because they were already ten minutes late.
“Sky! On the field and hit them laps for holding the team up!”
Lauren watched her son hustle to the team bench and kick off his shoes, changing to cleats.
“We’re still waiting, Sky!”
Lauren whipped her head to the coach and put up a finger. “He’s coming. Give him a minute,” she said.
She couldn’t see his facial expression behind his Rayban sunglasses, but she could feel the tension in the air as he nodded his head. He left the rest of the players on the field doing drills and then walked across the green turf until he was in front of DJ.
“You don’t hold up my practice, Sky. When you walk through that door, you come prepared. Mentally and physically,” he said, going down on one knee and helping DJ with his cleats. He tied them tightly as he preached. “If you fail to prepare, you…”
“Prepare to fail,” DJ stated. “Sorry, Coach.”
DJ hopped up from the bench and pushed his helmet down on his head. Nyair hit it gently as he ran by, starting the laps.
“Alright! Calesthentics, let’s go, let’s hustle!” He yelled, clapping his hands enthusiastically. “Let’s get to the money. Whole team on up-downs until Sky is finished with his laps!”
“You’re a little tough on them, don’t you think?” Lauren asked, frowning.
“Nah, I’m easy on them; the world tough on them. I’m just doing my part to prepare Black boys to become Black men,” Nyair answered.
Lauren nodded. It was admirable, but she still didn’t like how hard he was on a team of kids. “Well, it’s my fault he’s late.”
“Doesn’t matter who’s to blame. The punishment is the same. He’s accountable to me when he’s on my field. He knows what time practice starts.”
“He’s also a kid and has no control over my time,” Lauren argued. “I apologize for being late but…”
“No buts. Respect my time, Mrs. Sky.” Nyair said as he turned to walk away.
“Fields,” she corrected.
He stopped and turned back to her.
“It’s Ms. Fields now,” she said in a lower tone. “Actually, Ms. Fields is my mother. This is so damn weird. Divorce is brutal. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“How about I just stick to Lauren?” He said, giving a gracious smile, sucking her into his cheek like it was the sunken place. Those damn dimples were dreamy. “Be on time next time, Lauren Fields, or your boy gon’ run.” “I’ma still bitch about it,” Lauren shot back, a smile of her own forming.
“I have no doubt about that. If it’s one thing a Black mama gon’ do is protect her son,” Nyair said, laughing.
Lauren caught herself staring at him as he walked back over to the team and the assistant coach.
Nyair was built like the ex-football player that he was.
With thighs that held power that used to run in touchdowns, and an ass that made housewives everywhere tune in for football Sunday even though they didn’t understand one thing.
His arms stuck out of the Nike tank like boulders.
“What up, Lo? Sorry, I’m late. Traffic on 75 was crazy.”
Demi’s voice jarred her and she damn near jumped out of her skin. Had she been staring? She turned to him nervously, feeling as if she had been caught cheating.
“It’s fine; they’re just starting,” she said.
She took a seat on the bottom bleacher, bypassing the other parents. Demi followed suit, speaking to a gentleman in the stands he knew.
“What’s good, boss, you a’ight?” He said, shaking hands in a way that made men did that let everyone in the room know they wore invisible crowns.
“Everything’s everything,” he replied.
She was used to seeing his wife at his side, but today the seat was empty. She didn’t speak on it. Everyone knew what had happened. The Okafors had gone through a lot.
“I’m praying for you,” Lauren said, speaking up. “Your baby girl is beautiful.”
She glanced down at the car seat where his newborn baby slept soundly.
“I can’t take credit for that. She has her mother’s face,” Ethic said. “I’m grateful for that much.”
Lauren gave a sympathetic smile and then turned forward as awkward energy danced through her.
It only took one play for Demi to stand up.
He was the ultimate sideline dad, coaching and barking commands from his position and clapping his hands boisterously as he paced the edge of the field.
Lauren hated that she loved him still. After everything he had done, after everything she had put up with over the years, he still felt like hers.
This practice felt like a normal Thursday night.
They felt like a family, and if she could freeze time in this exact moment, she would.
She had taken their threesome for granted.
Building a business had taken her attention and her time many nights when she should have been pouring into her family.
It would be her greatest regret for as long as she lived because somehow, along the road to success, her family had suffered.
It was true. A woman just couldn’t have it all, and Lauren was the prime example of that.
Love and power for women may as well be a myth.
The two entities couldn’t co-exist without destroying a happy home.
She sat submerged in deep thought for the entire practice, and it wasn’t until she heard the sharp whistle that ended practice did she snap out of it.
DJ ran off the field, carrying his helmet.
“Did you see my sack, Dad?!”
He was on a natural high as he and Demi fell into their routine. A secret handshake before Demi pulled his son’s head into his chest, cupping the back of his neck proudly before delivering a kiss to the top of DJ’s sweaty scalp.
“I saw. You did what needed to be done out there, boi. Good shit. I’m proud of you,” Demi said.
The monster smiled. Very few people got him to show teeth.
DJ’s yardage and his defense this evening had pulled the pride right out of this gangster.
“Tell your mama bye, you rolling with me for the weekend.”
“Mannn, do I have to?” DJ asked.
“No, you don’t have to go anyplace you’re uncomfortable,” Lauren said, interrupting as she stood.
“Quit putting that in his head, Lo. That ain’t cool,” Demi objected. “He’s fine. He’s with me. Wherever I lay my head is his space too, he ain’t got shit to be uncomfortable about. My home is his home. I’ll bring him back Sunday.”
“No, it’s not his home, Demi. You can’t force your new situation on him. If he don’t like it there, he don’t like it there!”
She could feel her anger mounting. She couldn’t even mention Charlie’s name.
Most days she referred to the girl as “that bitch;” today, she was a “situation.” She hated having to extend her son to Demi.
It felt like they were walking away with her life, giving it to Charlie, sharing quality time, and making memories, and enjoying fits of laughter without her.
DJ and Demi were still one. Lauren felt like the odd man out.
“It’s fine, Ma, I’ll go,” DJ conceded.
Demi glared at her, brow tense in irritation before steering DJ away.
Lauren stared hopelessly as they got further and further from her. They were almost at the door when DJ turned around and ran back to her.