Chapter 13 #2
Lauren could see the weight on Demi’s shoulders.
She didn’t even have to know about his dilemma at home to know he was troubled.
“Before her, you were a great husband. You were just sterile, you know? Like you didn’t cheat or yell or hit me or do any of those big things that ruin marriages.
But you also didn’t do any of the small things that make a woman feel like she’s the center of your universe.
Like kiss the top of her hand.” She smiled but caught herself and sighed.
“You’ve always been a great father, though.
That’s one thing I can’t take away from you.
You have your moments where work kinda consumes you, but we all do.
I have no complaints about your fatherhood.
You’re not a bad man, Demi. You’re just not my man anymore, and that was your doing.
So I need you to be cool with me starting to date. ”
Demi didn’t like it, but he knew he had no right to interfere.
“We’ll see, man,” Demi said stubbornly. It was his reluctant agreement and all the blessing she was going to get.
“I’ll take that.” She laughed. “Are you good, though?”
Demi couldn’t confide in Lauren about Charlie. He wouldn’t torture her with the details of his relationship. This was the first conversation they had indulged in that wasn’t laced with resentment and anger.
“Yeah, Lo, I’m cool,” he said.
Nyair stepped up to the couple. “We’re asking everybody to take their seats. It’s time to wrap up the season. Give these boys their trophies.”
Lauren held her breath. Demi, please act right with this man. God, please don’t let this become a circus.
“Yeah, Coach, they earned it. Congrats on the season,” Demi said through a stern jaw.
Nyair held out his hand, and Demi hesitated in the slowest, most stubborn way before shaking.
“Good choice, my man,” Nyair said, patting Demi’s shoulder before turning to Lauren. “Shall we?” He extended his elbow.
She finally exhaled and allowed Nyair to lead her away to the front of the room.
“My brother does this thing with his wife. When she’s wound up. When she’s overthinking,” Nyair said.
“Yup, that’s me right now,” Lauren answered.
Nyair came close to her ear. “Breathe,” he said.
“That didn’t work at all,” she said. “Your lips on my ear just made me more nervoussss.”
Nyair laughed heartily. “Guess I ain’t got it like that.”
“You definitely got it, Ny,” she said. “You just got it like you got. You don’t need to have it like he has it.” She looked back at Ethic. “He’s a little grim. No offense.”
Nyair laughed and helped Lauren on the stage as she played her role at his side as the hostess for the evening.
It felt amazing to compliment a man, to share laughter, and chemistry, and subtle touches with someone like Nyair.
They made a fantastic team for the night, and for the first time since her life fell apart, she remembered what it was like to have fun.
They were very careful to avoid assumptions and gossip, but it pleased her to see the natural interactions between Nyair and DJ.
It was a good night after many bad nights, and she had earned it.
When the evening was over, she said her goodbyes, and Demi escorted her and DJ to her car. His silence was ominous. His mood was acceptable to everyone else in the room, but she knew him too well not to recognize his angst.
Demi opened the back door for DJ.
“Good job, boi,” he said. “I’m proud of you.”
DJ climbed inside, barely paying attention to his dad’s sentiments. He was already off the banquet and focused on some YouTube video. “What, am I talking to myself?” Demi asked, snickering.
Lauren smiled, crossing her arms to keep warm. DJ chuckled. “Sorry, Dad,” he said.
Demi turned to Lauren.
“You want to talk about it?” She asked.
Demi grimaced, looking out at the other families exiting the building. “I ain’t never felt the feeling of another human being breaking me. I ain’t never gave anybody that power. You know my past with my family, with my old man. Not even he could break me. I’m broken right now, though, Lo.”
Demi couldn’t look her in the eyes. He was too ashamed of the emotions he couldn’t control. “She’s breaking me.”
“I know that feeling,” Lauren whispered.
He stared down at her. Suddenly he realized the damage he had caused.
He had been the one with that power in Lauren’s life, and he had ripped her world apart.
If she had felt a fraction of this, he had so much atoning to do.
Because this shit felt like someone was ripping him in half.
It felt like Charlie had plunged a fist inside his chest and was stopping his heart from contracting, like blood was backing up like a clogged drain, choking him, flooding him.
Lauren was the last person he should be pouring his pain on, but the universe had a way of making you cross bridges you had burned.
“Yeah, I suppose you do, huh?” Demi asked, ashamed. He wanted to apologize. She could see it on the tip of his tongue, but she knew “I’m sorry’s” wouldn’t change anything.
“We’re talking about you, right now,” Lauren said sympathetically.
“I can’t go home to her, Lo. I feel like I don’t even know her,” Demi said.
“Well, you’re welcome to sleep it off in the guest room.
Get a good night’s rest and think about how you want to handle whatever problem you’re having.
Hopefully you’ll handle your issues with her better than you handled ours.
I didn’t know you were out the door until my bed was empty.
That’s not fair to a woman, Demi. You have to communicate. ”
Demi nodded. He was stubborn in that way. When he didn’t want to hear something, he wouldn’t respond with words, but she knew he heard her.
“Follow us home,” she said.
Demi was grateful for Lauren at this moment.
Despite it all, she was proving that they were family; even without rings in place, the love would never allow her to leave him uncovered.
For the first time, he acknowledged the loss of her.
He had always felt the weight that came with leaving his marriage because of DJ, but tonight he felt her.
Seeing her with another man, smiling, happy, flirtatious, glowing, and then having her so selflessly offer him a familiar place to stay, he realized that losing a woman like Lo was an L on a nigga track record.
He could have handled her better. He should have, and although he was a man who stood behind his decisions, the road to those decisions could have been paved smoother.
“I’ma do better by you, Lo. The way I did things was… ”
“Fucked up,” Lauren finished for him. “But I’m not going anywhere. We are still family. We share that little boy right there. You’ve got time to make it up to me.”
Demi felt the urge to wrap her in a hug. He didn’t know if he needed it or if she did, but it surprised her because Demi wasn’t touchy/feely. His disdain for dirt and germs had kept them distant for years. She stiffened and then relaxed as she wrapped her arms around his muscular back.
“Come on, boy, let’s go home.”