Chapter 42
HALLE
How could I be so stupid?
As I marched along the beach, tears streamed down my cheeks. Not even the blazing sunshine, the feel of the soft sand between my toes or watching the waves rippling towards the shore could lift my mood right now.
I didn’t know what was worse: agreeing to have a holiday fling with another musician or believing that I could actually trust him.
Didn’t matter. Either way, I’d gone against my better judgement and now my heart was paying the price.
Jake had lied to me. He knew how important it was for him to be truthful and open. And despite that, he’d failed to mention that he wanted me to appear in a fucking reality TV show with him!
That was my idea of hell and he knew that.
Maybe that was why he was being so nice to me. He was just trying to get in my good books. He must’ve thought that if he gave me enough orgasms, I’d be so dickmatised that I’d agree to do anything he’d ask.
Well, he was wrong.
But it didn’t make sense. He’d insisted multiple times that he didn’t want to expose me by putting me on his social media, so why the hell would he think that I’d want to be on TV?
And he said he had feelings for me, yet he admitted the TV show was part of his plan.
Okay, technically this was supposed to be casual, so he didn’t owe me anything. Plus, we’d be leaving the hotel tomorrow and might never see each other again. But I still felt hurt, betrayed and misled.
Maybe I shouldn’t have run off. I should’ve listened to see if there was an explanation, but if there was and he really cared, he would’ve come to find me. Instead, he’d stayed with Wilma. Probably to cook up their next scheme of how to get me to take part in their stupid plan.
My mind was spinning.
I plonked myself down on the sand and dropped my head in my hands.
I really liked Jake.
So much.
I was embarrassed to even think it, but it felt like more than like.
Even though I’d told my heart not to want him because this was always going to be temporary, I knew I’d fallen for him.
Big time.
I was in bloody love with him.
Shit.
What a fool.
‘There you are!’ a woman’s voice called out. My neck snapped up and I saw that it was Sammie. ‘I’ve been looking for you. So has Jake.’
‘He has?’
‘Yep. Poor guy’s distraught.’
Although I hated to know that Jake was down, hearing that he was upset at least showed he cared. Hope bloomed in my chest, but then common sense kicked it to the kerb.
‘He’s just worried he won’t be able to get his stupid reality show.’
‘Reality show?’ Sammie frowned. I filled her in on what’d happened. She waited until I was finished before speaking. ‘Obviously you know Jake better than me, but ask yourself, does that really sound like something he’d do to you? Honestly?’
‘A few hours ago I would’ve said no. He always seemed genuine when he said he didn’t want to make me feel uncomfortable.’
‘And how did he react when he saw his agent taking photos?’
‘He told me to go the bedroom and he told her to… stop.’
I paused and replayed everything that happened when Wilma turned up in slow motion. This time I put my emotions to one side.
Yes, he’d shielded me from her.
He’d said the reality show thing was ‘irrelevant’ now.
And he’d insisted that was the plan ‘in the beginning’ but that he had real feelings for me.
Jake wasn’t trying to trap me. He wanted to protect me.
‘I shouldn’t have run,’ I sighed. ‘I should’ve listened to his explanation.’
‘Is that what your gut tells you?’
‘Yeah. My gut tells me he’s a good man. He wouldn’t hurt me. Not on purpose.’
‘Everything I’ve seen of him backs that up. For example, what he did to encourage you to start doing nails again was so sweet.’
‘Huh?’ My brows creased. ‘What did he do?’
‘Full disclosure: it wasn’t a coincidence that I asked you to do my nails.
Obvs you know I loved your creations – it’s one of the first things I noticed when we met, so that was totally genuine.
But it was Jake that messaged me to ask if I ever needed to get my nails done and if I did, if I’d consider asking you. ’
I blinked several times, trying to digest this revelation.
‘He said that you were super talented and he knew you’d go far, but you just needed a break and he’d be grateful if I could give you a chance.’
My heart swelled. That was so thoughtful.
‘I didn’t realise.’
For a few seconds I felt awkward because I hated the thought of Sammie feeling obligated to say yes. But like she’d said, she had complimented my nails before and when I’d done hers, she was genuinely happy with them.
‘And he’s been working so hard on your date tonight. What he has planned is some next-level stuff. So if you ask me, your gut is spot on. A man doesn’t go to those kind of lengths if he’s not into you.’
I reflected on Sammie’s words for a few beats.
Of course it was possible that he was doing this to butter me up to take part in whatever he’d planned with his agent. But if I took into account everything I’d learnt about him, that didn’t ring true.
When I’d first met him, I thought he was an arrogant, self-absorbed wanker who was obsessed with posting on social media. But I sensed that he hated posting as much as I did.
So would someone that didn’t like showing his life online really want to allow a bunch of cameras to follow him around?
No.
Now that I was thinking more clearly, I knew I had two options:
I could either let my fear and past experiences continue to affect my future, not hear Jake out, waste the time I had left at the hotel moping, then go back to New York never really understanding what really happened.
Or I could be brave, put my heart on the line one more time, hear Jake out and try and make the most of the time I had left at this gorgeous resort with him, then go home with no regrets and my head held high, knowing that I’d done everything I could to make this work.
It was a no-brainer.
‘I need to speak to him.’
‘That’s the spirit!’ Sammie cheered. ‘But… you can’t right now.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because he’s not here.’
‘Where’s he gone?’
‘I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you!
’ Sammie laughed. I didn’t. ‘Sorry! That was supposed to be a joke. I’ve just always wanted to say that!
Anyway, Jake had to leave to sort out stuff for tonight.
But he asked me to find you in the meantime and said if you can meet him at eight tonight, he promises to explain everything.
So what do you say? Can I tell him that you’re gonna give him a chance? Will you still go ahead with the date?’
‘Yeah,’ I said quickly. ‘I will.’