Chapter 44
JAKE
I put the last of my clothes in my suitcase then let out a long, defeated sigh.
I couldn’t believe that in just half an hour, I’d be leaving this villa and Halle.
Forever.
Last night was off the charts.
Even when Sammie had messaged whilst I was at Santa Monica filming, to say that Halle had agreed to come on the date, I still couldn’t believe it.
My heart was in my throat for the rest of the day because I was worrying whether she really would turn up and, if she did, whether she’d forgive me.
When Halle told me she loved my songs and accepted my apology, I was so happy I was convinced that if I took my feet off the ground, I’d float away. I was on cloud nine.
The evening couldn’t have gone better. The conversation, the food, the sex…
Except this time, when I was inside her, it was more than that.
I felt the connection in my soul. It was like I’d come home. That being with Halle was where I belonged.
After we’d finished making love, we’d watched Pretty Woman again (we didn’t get to watch it properly last time), then headed back to the villa where we fell asleep as soon as our heads hit our pillows.
We ordered in breakfast, then once she’d packed, Halle said she had to see Sammie about something. Now I was here, waiting for her to come back, so I could kiss her properly. For the last time.
A sharp pain shot through my chest.
I already knew that this was gonna be one of the most painful experiences of my life. I didn’t want to say goodbye, but I had no choice.
‘Hi!’ Halle called out as I heard the door slam behind her. ‘I’m back! Can you come out here, please?’
‘Sure,’ I shouted back, before wheeling my suitcase out, my heart feeling heavier than a bag of stones. ‘Hey, beautiful.’ I kissed her on the lips, wondering how I was gonna survive without being able to do that every day like I’d gotten so used to doing.
Getting over her was gonna feel impossible, but somehow, I’d have to find a way to do it. I had no other choice.
‘Hey, you!’ she replied, her hands behind her back. She sounded surprisingly upbeat considering we only had minutes left together.
‘What you hiding there?’ I asked.
‘Gifts. For you.’
She thrust her hands in front of me. Halle was holding a small red rectangular box.
‘You got me jewellery?’ I frowned.
‘Hmmm, no. Open it.’
I took the box from her and when I popped the lid, I saw that it was a key.
‘So, I was thinking…’ She looked at me, a mixture of nerves and excitement in her eyes. ‘You said last night that you’re not ready to say goodbye to me, right?’
‘Right,’ I said quickly.
‘So, let’s not. This doesn’t have to be the end!
Come to New York and move in with me!’ she blurted out and my eyes popped.
‘That’s the key to my apartment. Sammie arranged for it to be cut this morning.
I know it’s fast, but when you know, you know, right?
I remember reading something that said, “When a guy likes you, you’ll know and when he doesn’t, you’ll be confused.
” And I know that you like me. I can feel it.
Here.’ She touched her heart and I blinked rapidly, still trying to take in the magnitude of what she was asking.
‘I…’ I stuttered, trying to think of what to say.
‘And I believe in you!’ she continued. ‘Those new songs you wrote are incredible. I’m certain that you’ll get your career back on track.
You’re gonna thrive. The world’s about to become your oyster.
And I want to be right beside you, cheering you on, every step of the way.
So live with me and get back on your feet.
My place isn’t fancy, but you’ll have a roof to sleep under and a slightly lumpy, but semi-comfortable bed to sleep in!
I know it’s early and it’s a risk, but if it doesn’t work, we’ll find out pretty quickly, but something tells me that it will. ’
I stood there, mouth open, stunned into silence.
‘Halle… wow. Thanks for the offer, that’s… That’s so kind of you. I don’t know what to say.’
‘Say yes!’ she beamed.
‘I want to. I really do. I meant what I said last night. I don’t want to lose you.’ I paused for several beats. ‘But I can’t. My life is here – in LA. And I… I can’t give you what you need. I’m not boyfriend material.’
‘Oh.’ Her shoulders slumped and my stomach dropped. ‘I thought you had feelings for me. Our date yesterday… the songs you wrote, our connection…’
‘I do have feelings for you. I do want to be with you, but I… I just can’t right now.
I need to get my shit together first. And it wouldn’t be fair for me to ask you to wait.
I know you’re mainly asking because you know I don’t have a home any more which is kind but I don’t want you to pity me. And I don’t want to hold you back.’
‘Right.’ The silence stretched and her gaze dropped to the floor. ‘Where will you go?’
‘An old friend of mine, Liam Stone, has a house in LA that he rents out that’s just become vacant. The new tenants don’t move in until next month, so he’s said I can crash there for a few weeks.’
‘That’s good.’ Her face brightened for a second, then fell again. ‘I’m glad you’ll have somewhere to stay. Wait. Liam Stone the actor?’
‘Yeah. He’s one of the few good ones who still checks on me every so often and didn’t ignore my calls when my life went to shit.’
‘And what about your music?’
‘I’ll keep working on it. I’ve put the feelers out to see if I’m able to call in some favours to get studio time. If not, I’ll get a job somewhere to pay for it.’
She nodded, then got up.
At first, I thought she was so pissed off with me that she’d left. But then Halle came back holding a white envelope.
‘Here.’ She handed it to me.
‘What’s this?’ I said, turning it over and ripping it open. When I saw what was inside my eyes bulged.
It was filled with cash.
‘It’s all the money I earned from doing nails this week. I want you to have it. Use it to put towards your studio time, food or rent.’
I opened my mouth to speak then closed it again.
My mind raced and my heart swelled.
From what Halle had told me, she didn’t make much from working in the juice bar. And because she didn’t get much vacation time, she wasn’t getting paid whilst she was here either, so I knew it’d be a struggle for her to make ends meet this month.
The money that she’d earned from doing nails would be important to her.
That’s why I couldn’t believe that she’d give it all to me.
That she’d make that sacrifice for me.
That she’d make her own life harder to make mine easier.
‘I can’t take this.’ I closed the envelope and handed it back to her but she refused to take it. ‘You worked hard for this. You earned it fair and square and you need it too.’
‘No. I want you to have it. Use it to make your career a success. I know it’s only a few hundred dollars and I wish I could give you more, but it’s all I have.
Please. If you won’t come to New York, and even if we never see each other again…
’ She swallowed hard and my stomach twisted at the thought.
‘Even if we’re not together, I still want you to succeed. I want you to be safe and happy.’
I had no words.
This woman was fucking incredible.
My heart squeezed and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that when a tear rolled down my cheek, I didn’t even wipe it away.
She’d got me good.
I stepped forward, opened my arms then wrapped them around her.
We both cried, the sound of our emotional sobs echoing around the room.
‘I love you, Halle,’ I whispered. ‘I will always love you. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I really wish things were different. Know that if they were, I’d be with you in a heartbeat.’
We held each other for a few more minutes, before she slowly pulled away.
When I looked at Halle, her eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks were stained with tears.
Seeing her cry and not being able to do anything to make it stop was like having a machete thrust straight into my heart.
I wiped her cheeks with my thumb, still trying to stop my own tears from falling.
I wasn’t embarrassed to show my emotions. There was nothing wrong with a man crying. We hurt, we felt, we broke, just like women did. But I knew that I had to leave, because if I didn’t, I’d make things harder. For both of us.
I leant forward and gently pressed my lips on hers.
My cell buzzed. I ignored it.
‘You should get that,’ she said softly.
‘I… it’s not important.’
‘No, it’s fine.’
I sighed and reached in my pocket.
‘It’s… it’s the driver. He’s at reception.’
‘So, I suppose this is goodbye?’ she said, her voice cracking.
‘I… I guess so.’ We stared at each other in silence, seconds then minutes elapsing, both of us finding it impossible to break each other’s gaze.
When my cell buzzed a second, then a third time, I knew I had to be the one to rip off the band-aid.
‘Bye, Smiley.’ I kissed her forehead softly. ‘Don’t give up on doing those amazing nails and take good care of yourself. I love you,’ I said, picking up my suitcase before walking away and feeling my heart shatter into a million pieces.