Chapter 8 #2
“If my stomach can handle it, sweetie. Sounds perfect.”
Right. Take it slow. She would heal in time.
Heading back out into the blustery day, Chloe checked her phone as she walked toward the shops. A slew of messages from Robin, asking multiple questions and then a final text saying to ignore her as she’d found the answer.
Another text from her mother-in-law. Please, Chloe, we must speak with you.
She sighed. This was the third or fourth time Vivienne had reached out. Chloe might as well answer her.
She was about to respond when a text came in from Sam. At once, the chill in the air warmed and she felt invigorated and more determined to move on with her life.
France was her past. Hearts Bend was her future.
Outside of Cooper’s, she paused, smiling, to read his message.
Sam: Afternoon.
Hmm, that felt rather formal.
Sam: I had a great time last night but I’ve been thinking, we should take it slow. Not get ahead of ourselves. I really like you but need to focus on my career, get my knee healed.
She fell against the brick storefront, rereading the message through the sting of tears. Then through a wave of ire. Was he actually sending a we-don’t-have-a-relationship-yet-but-I-want-to-break-up text?
Another text came in as she typed out a sarcastic reply.
Sam: I’ll still help out at the bakery. Just don’t want things awkward between us.
Chloe: All for the best. I need to focus on Mom. I was going to text you about it.
Sam: Oh, good, well, I guess we’re on the same page.
Well, they were now. She started a response but then closed the app. What else could she say? Cuss him out? In French. She’d love to but then the words would be out there, and she hated things she couldn’t undo. Like death.
She could tell him the truth. Last night, for the first time in ten months, I felt hope. I started falling in love with you. I thought you were falling in love with me.
But she couldn’t be that vulnerable to him. Not now.
Batting away her tears, she shoved her phone in her coat pocket and pushed inside Cooper’s. She had chicken soup to make. A life to build with Maman.
Sam Hardy was history once again.
A fire blazed in Mom’s fireplace, the light was warm and cozy, and Pride and Prejudice was paused on the TV, ready for viewing. Chloe set a bowl of soup on Mom’s tray.
“Think you can take a bite?”
“I hope so. It smells good.” Mom blew on the hot surface then took a sip. “Oh Chloe, it’s delicious.”
“Want some bread? It was just coming out of the oven when I got to the bakery. We’ve been having trouble with the oven temperature, but Laura Kate kept an eagle eye on it.”
Chloe went back to the kitchen where she fixed her own soup bowl.
She buttered up several slices of warm bread, gathered two large glasses of water, and carried everything on a tray back to the living room.
Then she settled on the couch next to Mom, and they ate in a peaceful silence, neither one reaching for the remote.
The wind blew against the house and a splash of cold rain battered the windows. Chloe sank even deeper into the overstuffed couch cushions. She was home. Safe. Loved. At least she could feel the love from her mom, especially after the text brush off from Sam. A wave of sadness caused her to sigh.
“What was that?” Mom said.
“Yeah, sorry…” Chloe shook her head and made a face. “I don’t know.”
“Something the matter?”
“No, well…” She didn’t want to talk about Sam, so she went with her first thought. “Vivienne has texted me quite a bit this month. More than when I was in Paris. She said they need to talk to me but, Mom, I want to move on. What could they possibly have to say?”
“You won’t know until you talk to them. Chloe, they love you. You were married to their son for eight years. See what she has to say.”
“I’m afraid she just wants to reminisce about Jean-Marc.
I’d love to…someday, because I loved him with my whole heart.
But not now. Not when I finally thought—” Scratch that.
She’d not tell Mom she’d finally thought she was ready to fall in love again.
“Well, not when I’m here, with a new job, helping you. ”
“Why do I have the feeling you left something out?” The screen saver flashed on the television. “Is it Sam? You two seemed very engaged with one another.”
“I thought maybe we were, but, well, I was wrong. He’s fixed on healing and getting back on the field.” She kept the disappointment from her voice with a struggle. Mom wouldn’t let that pass.
“Jean-Marc would want you to move on, Chloe.” Mom touched her arm. “Sam is an amazing man. A bit troubled, but with someone like you, he’ll find his way.”
“Maybe in football but not with me, Maman. He texted today that whatever started between us last night couldn’t go on.” She aimed the remote at the television. “Shall we watch the movie?”
“He texted you.” Mom’s voice held disbelief.
“Yes.” Chloe stirred her soup without taking a bite.
“He’s scared,” Mom said, so tender, so wise. “Be patient.”
“We’re all scared, Mom.” Chloe took a sip of her soup then let her spoon clank against the side of the bowl.
“How did you do it, Mom? Go on after Daddy died? There were days I barely got out of bed after Jean-Marc’s funeral.
If it wasn’t for my job, I’d have never left the house.
Heaven help me if I’d had a child to take care of. ”
“That’s how. You. My child.” Mom stilled, and a beat passed before she went on. “I had to keep myself together and get us through it.”
“But how? I think I’m moving on, over the grief, when suddenly a wave hits me out of nowhere. Last night, when I was with Sam on the dance floor and when he kissed me, I felt like the sun had finally burst through my clouds. Then he texted.”
“Grief isn’t the enemy. Denying it is. You lost the man you were to grow old with and now you have to start over, in your teenage bedroom no less, living with your old mom.”
Chloe laughed softly. “Being here is more healing than I imagined.”
“Grief comes in waves and stages. I had waves of grief for years, Chloe. I embraced them, processed them, and moved on.” Mom sipped her soup and took a bite of bread.
Chloe knew the truth of that. “So then what’s the point, if we just end up alone? Daddy left and never came back. His work was more important than us, than me, than our vacation to Disney World.”
“Oh, sweetheart. That’s not true.” Mom set her soup on the TV tray and looked at Chloe.
“He went on that business trip and postponed our Disney vacation.” She’d been so hurt, but Daddy promised to reschedule it as soon as he returned.
“He went on the trip because his boss promised him a commission and a bonus. We were using the money to stay at one of the Disney World hotels instead of the Peppermint Inn across town. You weren’t more important than his work. He worked because you were important to him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“I didn’t know you thought your father loved his work more than you. He adored you.” Mom stroked the back of Chloe’s hand. “I’m sorry, honey. I should have made sure you knew why he postponed our trip.”
Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded.
So, everything she’d believed for over twenty years about Daddy choosing work over his family—over her—had been wrong?
“I—that’s a lot to take in. I’m glad he—wow, well, Daddy, I’m so sorry.
” She brushed the wash of tears from under her eyes.
“You know what I said to Sam last night? That he couldn’t love me because the men I love die. Daddy. Jean-Marc.”
“You know that’s a lie. Don’t give in to it.
” Mom handed her a tissue from the box on the coffee table.
“Chloe, you’re the bravest woman I know.
Packing up and moving to France to study, then trying to heal from your husband’s death.
I am so proud of you. Coming home was equally brave.
But be kind to yourself. Let time help you heal. You healed from Daddy dying.”
“Because of you.” Chloe slipped her hand in her mother’s. “And now you’re helping me heal again.”
“I had one thing that you didn’t, Chloe. Faith. A strong relationship with Jesus. There were many nights I cried and talked to Him, pleading for help and understanding, asking for peace.”
“Did it work?”
“Every time. Sure, I didn’t understand everything, like why we lost Daddy, but I knew that God was watching over us, taking care of us.
My job with Frank was a real gift from God.
He gave me a generous salary and about every quarter, I find a bonus check on my desk.
He’s been doing that for twelve, thirteen years. I’ve almost paid off the house.”
“I’m not sure I can make the leap to trusting God, just like that. I’ve never felt God with me. Not the way you do.”
“Have you ever tried? Remember our quarrels every Sunday morning?”
Chloe covered her embarrassment with a laugh. “How could I forget?”
“You want to know what I did to get through those dark days after Daddy died? I grabbed hold of the hand the Lord offered me and never let go.”
“Just like that? Reached up and grabbed God’s hand?” Chloe stuck her hand in the air and “felt” around. “God, hello, Chloe LaRue here. I’m grabbing your—” She inhaled and pulled back as her fingers grazed something large and firm, yet soft and warm. “Hand. What was that?”
When she looked at her mother, she was grinning “Well, smart aleck, I think it was the hand of God.”