6. Honey Pack
Honey Pack
Knox
Where did she go? Maybe she had to pee? I told her to stay put!
I heard a scream echo from beyond the trees just as my mind raced toward the worst-case scenario. My heart kicked into overdrive, and my feet moved before my brain could process what was happening. All I knew was that Victoria’s hardheaded ass was in trouble.
“Victoria!” I shouted, breaking the plane that separated the beach from the jungle. I called her name several times, but she didn’t respond.
What if she’s hurt? What if a wild animal has gotten to her? What if she fell into quicksand? Fuck! Why does she have to be so goddamn stubborn? Can’t she take instructions for once in her life?
I slowed my sprint when I noticed her flailing around aimlessly, swiping at her face and hair with tears streaming down her face.
“There you are! Jesus Christ, what part of stay put don’t you—” I stopped speaking when she offered me a silencing, tear-filled glare.
“Not the time. Okay, message received. What’s the matter?
” I examined her quickly, relieved that she wasn’t bleeding or injured. She seemed fine, at least physically.
“Get…it…off!” she shrieked, starting back up with the windmilling, looking like she was participating in a mosh pit. I narrowed my eyes and took a closer look.
“You’ve got to calm down so I can help you. Stop freaking out,” I said, trying to soothe her and stop her rash movements. I held her arms by her sides. Her chest heaved with little effort, and her brown eyes were red from tears. I couldn’t help but smile.
She’s so cute. Even when she’s covered in…
“Oh, is it the spider webs?”
She nodded weakly from exhaustion, thanks to a combination of her adrenaline dump, fear, and impromptu cardio workout.
“All right, all right. I’ve got you,” I whispered, pulling the webs from her body.
I checked every inch of her to ensure no creepy crawlies remained.
When I was satisfied, I resumed my ass-chewing.
“What were you thinking? What part of stay put sounded like run off into a jungle and get yourself killed? You could’ve gotten seriously injured! ”
I huffed and waited for her to spit her deadly venom at me—to scream and curse at me and tell me everything was my fault, but she didn’t.
Instead, her eyes welled up with fresh tears.
They streamed down her face, marking a path through dirt, grime, and traces of blood.
I felt like even more of a shithead when sobs wracked her frame.
Maybe I’m being too harsh. We did crash land into the ocean thousands of miles from home with no provisions, communication, and little to no survival skills. We’re both trying to do the best we can with the shitty hand we were dealt.
“Hey, look…I’m sorry, Victoria,” I apologized, rubbing the back of my neck anxiously.
Guilt swaddled me once more when her crying intensified.
I did the only thing I could in our situation and pulled her into a hug.
I rested my cheek on top of her head as her tears soaked my shirt.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again. “I know you’re doing your best.”
“I really am,” she offered breathlessly between sobs. “I-I was looking for food and water because God only knows if we’ll ever be rescued. W-we might be stuck on this fucking island forever.” She pulled out of my embrace and fixed those enchanting eyes on me. “What if we’re never found?”
I rubbed her arms soothingly. “Then…I guess you have no choice but to become my island wife. I’m sure we can find a talking crab to officiate our wedding.”
“Listen to me when I tell you, you should’ve died in that plane crash,” she remarked.
“Then you would’ve been left with the co-pilot, who is partly responsible for us crashing.”
“That’s fine. I’d turn him into my little bitch boy.”
We cracked inappropriate smiles at each other because, despite our dire situation, we knew it was true.
“I can see it. That boy doesn’t have a spine. As you would say, ‘It’s giving invertebrate.’”
I doubled over when she punched me in the stomach.
“Fuck you, Knox.” She giggled.
“Fuck me,” I groaned, trying to swallow down the bourbon from earlier. “And here I thought I was afraid of your stapler.”
“You better thank whatever god you believe in that I don’t have it, or I would’ve unloaded the clip in you. I would’ve pieced your ass together like Frankenstein.”
I closed my eyes, pulled myself up, and sucked in a deep breath before opening my eyes again. “Is this a bad time to tell you that I’m wildly turned on right now?”
Victoria
My eyes ticked down, and I regretted it immediately.
And here I was, afraid I’d run into a snake in the jungle.
Oh, I ran into a snake all right—more like a fucking anaconda.
Damn…no wonder this man cuts up the way he does.
I have to stay away from this man. I’ve never been one of those women who were dumb over dick, but I can see my IQ tanking a little after getting hold of him.
“What are you doing?” he asked curiously.
“Patting myself on the back for never showing up at your hotel room in the middle of the night. Good job, me.”
Knox chuckled and put his hands on his hips like some caped superhero no one asked for. “I would’ve obliged.”
Tell me something I don’t know.
“All right, King Dong, you need to put that thing back in its cage. Think depressing thoughts like how I’m turning in my resignation if we’re ever found.”
“You’re not resigning, Victoria,” he said confidently.
“Bitch, yes, the fuck I am. I’m getting a book deal, a movie deal, all that. I don’t have to work for you anymore once I get done snotting and crying on TV.”
“Bullshit,” Knox challenged.
“Knox Peterson Ramsey—”
“That’s not my middle name,” he complained.
“Knox Emilio Ramsey—”
“Again, not my middle name.”
“Knox Whatever-the-fuck-it-is Ramsey, I will get on TV and tell them people that I ate the fucking flight attendant—don’t try me.”
Knox turned a deep shade of red before laughing uncontrollably. “That’s…you…you can’t be serious,” he stammered through his laughter.
“I’ll tell those people she tasted like chicken and that I had to do what I had to do to survive—don’t play with me, Knox.”
“It sounds like you’d do anything for money,” he remarked.
“Including working for you,” I hissed.
“Okay…hear me out,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “I’ll accept your resignation, but I’m offering you another proposal.”
“No, I won’t marry your funky ass either.”
“I smell?” he asked, sniffing his armpit. “Oh, geez. That’s rank.”
“Yeah, that stress sweat is no joke.”
“Tragic body odor aside, become my sugar baby.”
That’s an attractive offer, but no.
“I’m not bussing down for your old ass for money.”
“But you’d do it for free?” he challenged with a raised brow.
Can’t this man just suffer a heat stroke and leave me alone?
I waved my hands, trying to regain control of the situation. We were on a runaway train to Fantasy Land.
“I know the last five minutes have been playful, unserious banter to distract us from a very real situation, but we need to get serious, Knox Wolfe Ramsey.”
“You were close that time.”
“Really?” I asked in disbelief.
“No, not really. You couldn’t be further.”
“You’re lying,” I accused.
“I’d give you my wallet to confirm, but it’s lost at sea along with the rest of our shit.”
Thanks for the reminder, dipshit.
“I know you’re scared,” Knox said. “This is…an unreal situation, and I’d be lying if I said I know how to get us out of it. But I’m here and willing to do whatever I can to keep us alive and thriving until we’re rescued.”
“What if we’re not rescued?” I asked softly. His face pinched with uncertainty. He raised his arms out to his sides.
“Then welcome to our new life.”
The tears returned, and Knox had me in his arms in seconds. My shoulders shook. “I-I can feel your dick against my stomach,” I said through my tears.
“I apologize,” he said, scooting back just a smidge.
God, if you plan on me being stranded on this island with this man for the rest of my days, then let a falling coconut take me out now!
I waited a few moments, but the head-smashing coconut never came.
“I need you, Victoria.”
I need this man to stop asking me for a pity-stranded-island fuck.
“I know I’m the big boss at the office, but we need to work together here.” My crying had reduced to sporadic sniffles. “Believe it or not, I can’t be efficient without you, whether in the office or on a remote island.”
“My pay should reflect that,” I responded.
“Your benefit package is out of this world. You’re compensated better than most executive assistants. Not too many CEOs pay for their assistants’ apartments. Especially assistants they aren’t fucking.”
My brows knitted together. I was curious.
“Why do you pay for my apartment?”
“I’ll tell you when we get home—whatever version of home that might be. It might be a high-rise or a hut.”
I pulled out of his arms and instantly missed the warmth despite how hot and humid it was.
He provided a different kind of warmth—a comforting coziness that made you feel that everything would be okay.
I wanted to pretend that everything would be fine, but the reality was that someone might become sick, get hurt, or be injured.
What happens if it’s Knox? According to my Naked and Afraid meter, the co-pilot has a low survival rating.
What will happen if I’m left all alone? That’s what I fear the most. I can’t think like this—catastrophizing and expecting the worst. The negativity won’t do us any good.
I have no choice but to put on my big girl panties and make the most of an awful situation.
“Knox, we need to come up with a game plan.”
“Agreed.”
“What kind of survival skills do you have?”
“I did a few years in the Boy Scouts.”
“I didn’t know that. How come you never told me?”
“Mmmm, maybe because you never asked, and you spent more time threatening to kill me with your stapler than getting to know me,” he answered.
Valid.
“Okay, fair. That’s good. My confidence in you and your survival abilities has skyrocketed.”
“What about you?” Knox queried.
“My TV stays on the Discovery Channel .”
“Really?” he asked, sounding impressed.
“Yes, Knox, really.”
“Hmph. I took you more for—”
“Let me stop you right there, Knox Hamilton Ramsey. I swear to God, if you say BET, OWN, The Impact Network, Zeus, or any other heavily melanated television station, then I’m killing you. When I’m rescued, I’ll tell them you died on impact, and that impact was my fist.”
Knox cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. “I was going to say Lifetime since you’re so dramatic.”
“Mhm. Lifetime my ass. Keep playing with your lifeline, Knox.”
“Is this a bad time to tell you that I’m still turned on?”
I looked down once again and sighed.
I mean…good for him, I guess. He’s old as fuck and can get it up and maintain without a honey pack.