7. Scooby Doo Bullshit #2
She scoffed. “For the same reason I told you not to sit on the log. “Let’s get moving.”
I followed and fell in step beside her. “You could’ve defended my honor back there.”
“There was nothing to defend. It was a valid inquiry,” she expressed. “I’d work for the devil as long as he paid me a fair, livable wage with benefits.”
“I pay you a fair, livable wage.”
“My point exactly.”
We continued our lighthearted “bickering” while on our hunt for water as a way to keep distracted. Josh complained that he felt left out of the conversation, and Victoria told him he should be grateful that he was breathing.
Ten minutes later, I nearly dropped to my knees and kissed the ground.
“Is this a mirage?” Victoria asked.
We had our answer when Josh released a piercing victory cry and ran toward what I believed to be a freshwater oasis fed by a 20-foot waterfall. He jumped cannonball-style and broke the surface a few seconds later.
“Whoa! This water is so cold!”
“What about the taste?” Victoria asked as I shedded my clothes.
“It’s the best-tasting water I’ve ever had. Think Evian, but ten times better!”
That is good enough for me.
I was about to follow Josh’s lead when Victoria stuck her arm out to block me.
“Vic—”
“Give it a few minutes.”
“Why?” I asked curiously.
“He jumped in and has no clue if predators are in the water.”
A chuckle started low in my chest and soon became a full-blown gut-busting laugh. I wagged a finger at her—still coming to terms with how devious my sexy assistant could be.
“You’re fucked up, you know that?”
“It’s called survival of the fittest. Give it about twenty minutes. That’s enough time to see if an alligator will snatch his ass up.”
Victoria
Thank God I had the good sense to get vacation braids , I thought as I floated in the crisp water.
The palm fronds and overgrown vegetation provided a natural canopy that blocked some of the sun’s harsh rays.
The waterfall was crystal clear, catching the sun in each drop that cascaded from a cliff.
I was at peace for the first time since the crash.
The sight was so majestic and astounding that I had nearly forgotten we weren’t in Bali and were stranded on what now appeared to be an uninhabited island.
I closed my eyes, obscuring my vision of Knox getting his GQ Magazine on underneath the falls.
The water beat down on him like it was his personal shower.
He slicked his wet hair back with his hands and blew water out of his nose and mouth.
The water sluiced down his bare chest and well-defined abdomen, threatening to trigger my own little waterfall.
Now, if he just loses the designer boxer briefs, then we’d be in business. Never mind. It’s probably best that I focus on finding something to eat instead of thinking of gobbling up my boss’s dick.
I closed my eyes and tried to think pure thoughts instead of Knox Ramsey opening my third eye. I began sputtering when someone’s childish ass splashed water in my face.
“What the—Josh, quit playing around!” I fussed after recovering from him splashing a tidal wave of water in my face.
I swiped at my face angrily. “I know you were that badass kid running around the community pool being a menace. You had to sit in time out every five minutes, watching the rest of us have fun because you were doing too much.”
I heard Knox chuckle in the background and grumble something about me projecting.
And I am. I was the badass little kid, but that’s neither here nor there.
“What’s a community pool?” Josh asked inquisitively, pushing his auburn hair out of his face.
Mr. Alligator, you can come take him now.
“Think of the pool at your parents’ country club, but without the servers, cabanas, and luxury loungers, and everyone is invited, no matter their financial status,” Knox explained.
Josh cringed, and I wanted to punch him in the face. He caught the unimpressed look on my face and changed his tune with the quickness. “That…that sounds…exciting,” he said with a tight smile.
Translation: Bless your heart.
On our three-hour hike, Josh couldn’t help but tell us that his father was basically Daddy Warbucks and would be looking for him, which was terrific for me because that doubled the odds we’d be found.
“We should start heading back,” Knox said, filling the 50-ounce stainless steel carafe from the waterfall.
We need to find a way to carry more water back with us.
Rationing 50 ounces of water between three adults a day isn’t ideal, but neither is making a six-hour round-trip journey for water every day.
We can hollow out the coconuts and fill them with water, but carrying them will be a pain in the ass.
Knowing Josh, he’ll probably trip and drop his coconuts on the ground.
We won’t be in bad shape if we find some young coconuts.
We gathered our belongings and dressed—the men opting to make the journey back to the beach shirtless.
I’ll give it a month before I’m walking around in a grass skirt with my titties out. I don’t give a fuck.
We began our hike with renewed vigor. We were hydrated, cooled down, and had scrubbed away all traces of dirt, grime, and sweat from our misadventures.
“Knox, give me your shirt.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
“Because I said so…please,” he taunted, tossing me his shirt. I rolled my eyes and tucked my lips in to hide my smirk as I tied the arms of his dress shirt around my waist. “What are you doing?”
“I’m bringing coconuts back to the beach. We might not be able to drink them; however, we can hollow them out and use them for bowls and—”
Josh shrieked. “Oh, what the hell? What the hell?”
“What is the matter with you, kid?” Knox growled.
“Th-there was a snake!”
“And you didn’t kill it?” I asked.
“Kill it? I wouldn’t go anywhere near it!”
I sucked my teeth in disappointment. “Well, there goes our dinner.”
“I’m not eating snake,” he argued. I shrugged.
“That’s fine with me—more for me and Knox. If you want to starve, then be my guest.”
“Josh, if you see another snake, instead of crying like a little bitch, you need to let either me or Victoria know so that we can take care of it. Eating a snake may not be ideal, but it’s protein that our bodies will need to survive. It’s no big deal. I heard it tastes like chicken.”
“I second that,” I agreed, moving through the vegetation.
Ten minutes later, Josh had located a berry bush. “These look delicious,” he said, picking a few of the berries off the bush. He was about to toss a few in his mouth when I stopped him.
“Don’t eat those!”
“Why not?” he snapped, becoming frustrated.
“Let me see them.” He begrudgingly handed the berries over, and I sniffed them. “No. These aren’t good.”
“Why not?”
“Stop asking questions and listen to what she says,” Knox drawled, unamused by Josh’s endless inquiry.
“Don’t discourage him, Knox. He has a right to ask questions,” I said.
“Okay, NatGeo,” he snorted.
“It’s Discovery Channel ; get it straight. Anyway…where was I?”
“Denying me food once again,” Josh whined. I narrowed my eyes at him.
I’m trying to be patient with this little boy, but he’s about to get punched in the stomach, too.
“Smell these and tell me what you smell,” I said, pushing the berries toward him. His nose crinkled. “What do you think?”
“They smell bitter.”
“Correct. The rule is to stay away from any berries that are green, yellow, or white. To be fair, you should avoid some red and purple berries, too, but the trifecta for sure. Also, stay away from berries that smell bitter or whose branches have a white, milky sap when you snap them. Do you understand me?”
“Yeah, whatever,” he huffed. I smiled in satisfaction when Knox grabbed Josh by the back of his neck. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Let me go!”
“Quit being a disrespectful piece of shit and listen to what she tells you. She’s trying to save your fucking life, dumbass,” Knox hissed in Josh’s ear.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Josh repeated.
“Don’t apologize to me—apologize to her,” Knox demanded, spinning him in my direction.
“I’m sorry, Victoria. Will you accept my apology?”
I nodded and tossed the berries onto the ground.
“Show a little fucking respect for the person who’s trying to keep you alive,” Knox remarked before storming off.
Josh rubbed the back of his neck and rolled his head around clockwise and then counterclockwise. “What is wrong with that guy? I think he has anger management problems.”
“Probably, but when Knox gets like this, his blood sugar is low. If I were you, I’d be as quiet as a church mouse and stay out of his way,” I warned.
“No shit,” Josh murmured, following behind me.
We need to find food ASAP because if Knox grabs me on the back of my neck like that? It’s going down.