Chapter 7
Carter
Jax must have worked some of her magic when she took Eliza to the mall, because she had come back as a completely different person.
She was much more comfortable around us (Jax more than me, but she was definitely warming up to me as well) and didn’t seem as scared.
That is, until a few days later, when we took her to her first appointment with the OBGYN.
The outgoing girl had crawled back into her shell and now looked even more nervous than the first time I had met her a few days ago.
She put her hand on her stomach as we drove to the appointment. “I really hope the baby is okay.”
I reached out and took her hand in mine. “I’m sure the baby is fine. Don’t worry.”
Eliza nodded slowly and took a deep breath that she shakily pushed back out. “I-I realize I was planning to have an abortion, but now that I decided not to, I think it would upset me if my lack of care ended up hurting the child.”
I squeezed her hand. “You did everything you could given the hand you were dealt. I’m sure everything is okay, but if not, it’s not your fault, okay?”
Eliza nodded again, but I wasn’t convinced she actually believed me.
“Are you thinking about keeping the baby?” Jax asked from the driver’s seat. “I’m not saying that is something you have to decide now, but given your age, it might be a question they ask you. I just want you to be prepared and not feel blindsided.”
“I’m pretty sure adoption is the way I’m going to go. I had so many plans for my life, and this definitely wasn’t one of them. I don’t think I’m ready.” When she looked over at me, her face was flushed. “Does that make me selfish?”
I shook my head. “If you’re not ready, giving the child up is the most selfless thing you can do. Trust me.”
“I just want to know that the baby is going to go to a good family. I’m scared they’ll get put with parents who are like mine. People like that put on a good appearance, but are so toxic. I’d much rather have them end up with parents like you two.”
Parents like… oh my god. The crazy thought hit me at the exact same time that Jax slammed on the brakes.
“Sorry. Almost missed the red light. Must have been distracted by the conversation.”
I knew Jax well enough to know exactly what had distracted her about the conversation. She had the exact same thought I did. Is this what Jax was talking about when she said that things would happen when and how they are supposed to? Was Eliza the answer to our prayers?
I shook these thoughts from my head, because I felt guilty about even having them. Eliza was put in our lives so we could help her. Seeing it any other way would be selfish. Adopting her baby would be taking advantage of her. Right? It seemed wrong, but was it?
I didn’t have time to question it any further, because we arrived at the OBGYN.
“Here we are,” Jax said as she shut off the car.
Eliza took another deep breath and blew it out.
“You got this,” I reassured her. “We’ll be with you the whole time.”
“Promise?”
Her voice was so desperate, it broke my heart. “I promise.”
After checking in, the secretary handed Eliza a sterile container. Eliza twirled the small cup around in her hand and stared at it in confusion.
“It’s for a urine sample,” I whispered to her. I nodded toward the bathroom. “I take it you want to do this part alone?”
Eliza gave a half nod, but stopped. “Actually, sorry to be weird, but can you come with me?”
I pointed to myself. “Me or Jax?” I figured she’d want Jax with her since she seemed to be much more comfortable with her.
“You.” Eliza looked toward the ground and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. “If that’s okay. I know it’s awkward. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to mess anything up.”
I wasn’t sure how she could mess up peeing into a cup, but I didn't want to question her. If I was being completely honest, it felt kind of rewarding that she wanted me to come along. “Of course. No worries.” I turned toward Jax. “We’ll be right back.”
“Have fun!” she teased.
Since it was a single person bathroom, I turned and faced the door to give Eliza her privacy. After a minute, I heard the toilet flush.
“Okay I’m good.”
When I turned around, Eliza was holding the cup with two fingers and nervously staring at it. “What should I do now?” she asked.
Luckily, in preparation for trying to get pregnant, I had done a ton of research on what happens during pregnancy. “Put the top on and carry it out. They’ll have a place for you to set it.”
Eliza’s mouth dropped open and her eyebrows furrowed as if I had just said the craziest thing in the world. “I just walk out with my piss in a cup and wave it around for the world to see?”
I laughed. It was good to see Eliza like this, even just for a moment. This was the girl I had come to know over the past few days. Not the shy, unsure one that came out whenever she was nervous.
“Well, first of all, it’s just a waiting room—not the whole world. Also, as far as I know, you are not required to wave it around. If I had to guess, I’d say that might be frowned upon. But yes, you just walk out with it. Everyone else is doing the same thing so they won’t think anything of it.”
Eliza’s lips dipped into a slight frown and she lost the spark from a moment before. For a second I couldn’t figure out what had happened, but then it hit me.
I held my hand out toward her. “How ’bout I do it for you?”
Because they wouldn’t think anything of it if it was someone their age. I was pretty positive that was the exact thought that had gone through Eliza’s head. She was worried people would see how young she was and judge her.
For as much as I had grown to love Maryland, I also wasn’t dumb. I knew our town had a much larger ratio of small-minded assholes than other areas. It was a very reasonable fear to assume at least one person in that waiting room would judge her.
“Thank you so much,” Eliza said softly.
I smiled at her then turned around and left the bathroom, with Eliza trailing close behind me.
She followed me over to the desk, where I placed the sample with all of the others, and then to the waiting area.
We both took seats on either side of Jax, but before my butt even hit the seat, someone called Eliza’s name.
We followed Eliza and the nurse down the hallway to a scale.
The nurse studied all three of us, most likely looking for any signs of a baby bump on one of us.
That was going to be a tough one to figure out given the baggy T-shirt Eliza was wearing.
Luckily, she didn’t have to figure it out, because Eliza stepped onto the scale.
After writing down Eliza’s weight, the nurse led us to an exam room where she took Eliza’s blood pressure and asked a few preliminary questions.
When the doctor came in, she studied her computer for a long time, before turning toward us. “So, Eliza, you don’t remember the date of your last period?
“N-no. I’m sorry.”
Doctor Gray gave her a sweet smile. “It’s all good. That’s what I’m here for. I’m just making sure I have all of the information I need. This is your first pre-natal exam?”
Eliza looked down at her hands. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Well, I’m very happy to have you here. I’ll get you taken care of. Don’t worry. After today, you’ll have plenty of answers. Speaking of which, before we start, do you have any specific questions for me?”
Eliza shook her head, but still didn’t look up to meet the doctor’s eyes. “I just want to know if the baby is okay and when this will all be over.”
Dr. Gray nodded knowingly, her face now solemn. “And would you like any information for after the baby is born?”
Eliza finally lifted her head to make eye contact with Dr. Gray. “I want to put the baby up for adoption. Do you have any information on that?”
“Of course I do. I’ll make sure you get all of that before you leave.
” Dr. Gray typed a note into the computer, then turned toward Eliza once again.
“I want to get started with an ultrasound to try to get an idea of how far along you are and what your due date is. Normally, I’d have one of the ultrasound techs do that, but today, I’m going to do it for you. Does that sound okay?”
When Eliza nodded, Doctor Gray got to work at setting up her equipment. “Now before I start, if I’m able to tell the gender of the baby, do you want to know?”
Eliza shook her head. “I’d rather not. I realize it’s going to be impossible to avoid forever, but I feel like finding out the gender will cause me to feel an attachment to the baby that I can’t have.
I need to give this baby up for adoption, and I don’t want anything to convince me I shouldn’t do that. ”
Dr. Gray smiled at Eliza with adoration. “You are very mature for your age, you know that?”
Eliza laughed. “No. I think that might be the first time anyone has ever said that about me.”
I squeezed Eliza’s arm. “She’s right. You really are.”
Eliza gave me a small smile, before focusing her attention back on Dr. Gray. “Will not finding out the gender affect the adoption?”
Dr. Gray shook her head. “Not one bit. There are a lot of couples who enjoy not knowing until the baby arrives. Now, if you don’t mind, could you lift your shirt up for me? I’m going to apply some gel. It might be a little cold.”
When Eliza lifted her shirt, I realized that this was the first time I was really seeing her baby bump. The sight almost made me start to cry, which was confusing since I hadn’t even known Eliza for a whole week. I shouldn’t feel this attached and invested already.