Chapter 9
Carter
An hour into the after party, most of my family was either drunk or buzzed. My mom, the kids, and I were the only sober ones. Even my mama had started to slur her words from the one and a half glasses of wine she had.
I, on the other hand, was still nursing my first glass of wine. “Not in the drinking mood?” my mom asked as she sat down beside me.
I pointed around the room at my loud, crazy family. “Someone has to watch all of the kids. At this point, I’m pretty sure Uncle Jamie’s whole family is going to be spending the night here too.”
My mom shook her head. “Absolutely not. Finn’s kids can stay. Everyone else is going. I’ll drive them home.”
“I’m going to have to take Miriam home, so if you want to take them in Finn’s car, I can pick you up.”
“Sounds great, sweetie. Thank you.” My mom kissed the top of my head. “But really, why have you been staring at that drink longingly all night?”
I didn’t even realize that’s what I had been doing until she mentioned it, but she wasn’t wrong. “I just have a lot on my mind.”
My mom nodded toward the door. “What do you say we take a walk?”
I immediately stood from the couch. “That would be great. Thank you.”
As I started to follow my mom toward the front door, Jax latched onto me from behind. “Baaaabe, where are you going?”
“My mom and I are going for a walk. I need you to stay back here and keep an eye on everyone.”
It was obviously a joke since my very drunk wife was not going to be able to watch anyone but herself, but Jax still saluted me like a soldier taking orders. “Aye, aye, captain.”
I laughed before turning around to continue outside.
“So, what’s up, sweetie?” my mom asked once we were outside. “What’s on your mind?”
“So much.” I sighed. “Eliza, the baby, Eliza and the baby, what to do about Eliza and the baby.”
My mom nodded as we walked. “And where is your head at?”
“My head is telling me to slow down. It’s my heart that is making things difficult.”
“Okay, then. What’s your heart telling you?”
“If I tell you, do you promise not to think I’m completely crazy?”
My mom laughed. “I see your sister every day. Nothing you say to me could seem that crazy. Trust me.”
“My heart is telling me that this was all meant to be. That Jax and I are meant to take care of Eliza and this baby. In a perfect world, we could adopt the baby and raise the baby and Eliza as siblings. Eliza would still get to be in the baby’s life, but not in the motherly capacity, and Jax and I could have the family we always dreamed about.
” Was this what we always dreamed about? Not exactly. “Well, kind of.”
My mom’s face stayed neutral as if my words hadn’t shocked her at all, which was strange given the fact that I was planning a whole life based around a girl we had met just a few weeks ago. “And what makes you think this isn’t a perfect world?”
“Huh?” That’s all she has to say after everything I confessed?
“You said all of that could happen in a perfect world. What makes you think this isn’t a perfect world?”
I scoffed. “Have you seen this world?”
My mom chuckled. “Okay, that’s fair. I guess what I should have said is, why does the world need to be perfect for that to happen?”
I stopped walking, because my head was spinning.
Was my mom really trying to convince me that my crazy ideas really weren’t that crazy?
I thought parents were supposed to stop their kids from making rash decisions, not encourage them.
“This isn’t some romance novel, Mom. This is real life with real people.
Eliza could resent us for asking to adopt the baby when we’re supposed to be helping her.
She could think that we’re using her.” I threw my hands in the air.
“Even if that doesn’t happen, isn’t that a messy situation to bring a baby into?
I wouldn’t want to lie to the child. How many years of therapy would it take for them to get over the fact that their sister was actually their mom but not really their mom because they already have two moms? ”
My mom put her hands on my shoulders to steady me.
“Carter, you’re spiraling. Take a deep breath.
” My mom demonstrated by taking a deep breath of her own.
“I think you’re focused on the wrong things though.
You’re acting like the only way to raise a happy, healthy child is to have a cookie cutter family.
We both know that’s not the case. There’s people out there who believe only a man and a woman can raise a child properly. Do you think that’s the case?”
I shook my head. Of course I didn’t think that. This was different though, wasn’t it?
“What children really need is love and stability and to know that they are wanted. As long as you give them that… Well, I can’t guarantee it’ll keep them out of therapy because I’m a firm believer that everyone could benefit from that…
but it should set them on the path to becoming at least semi-functioning adults.
I mean, look at your brother and sister. They’re almost there.”
“So, you’re saying my crazy idea might not be so crazy?
” This honestly wasn’t where I expected this conversation to go.
It made me wonder if it would be different if I was talking to my mama instead, but deep down, I knew she would say the same thing.
My moms were always freakily on the same page like that.
My mom squeezed my shoulders, then let her hands drop.
“What I’m saying is no decision can be completely wrong if it’s made with love, and I’m not talking about that bullshit definition of love that some Christians have.
I mean real, non-judgmental, pure love. Whatever you decide, sweetie, I know it’ll be the right decision because it’s coming from right here.
” My mom tapped my chest right over my heart.
“I’m not good at following my heart.” That was Jax and my siblings. I followed my head. I followed facts, figures, and stats.
“I think you’re much better at it than you think you are. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have the life you do.”
I wrapped my arms around my mom and pulled her into a tight hug. “Thanks, Mom. You always know the right thing to say. I really don’t know what I would do without you.”
My mom chuckled. “Well, let’s hope you don’t have to find that out for a very long time. I have a lot of life to live; many grandbabies to spoil.”
Instead of saying anything else, I squeezed my mom even tighter and held her there. I always adored my parents, but there was something about being older and realizing everything they had done to give me the life they did, that made me adore them even more.
When my mom pulled away from our hug, she stared into my eyes and I could see the pride in hers.
Making her proud was just as comforting as a warm hug.
She pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my cheek.
“What do you say we head back in and check on the kids? And by kids, I obviously mean the adult children like our wives.”
Apparently, in the time we were gone, everyone had started to wind down.
Jax and Finn were laying on opposite ends of the couch with their eyes barely open, my uncles were snuggled together with their sleeping grandchildren, and my mama was lazily scrolling through her phone.
Eliza and Miriam were watching something on Miriam’s phone, but even they looked tired.
Olivia and Ronan’s families were nowhere to be found, so I figured they must have headed to bed already.
My mom clapped her hands together, causing a few people in the room to jump. “Parties over. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. Unless, you were planning on staying here, of course.”
Miriam jumped to her feet. “Sorry. I just need a ride.”
I gave Miriam a reassuring smile, because it was clear she had taken my mom’s joke a little too seriously. “I’ll give you a ride, don’t worry.”
My mom smiled at her too. “Sorry, sweetie, I wasn’t kicking you out.” She kicked my uncle Jamie’s knee, startling him awake. “I was more so talking to this one. We were best friends before I even started dating his sister, so I’m allowed to be mean to him.”
“What is with this family and best friends?” Eliza asked with a laugh.
My mom walked over to Eliza and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s an epidemic, I swear.”
I focused my attention back on Miriam. “Are you ready to go? No rush, but if you need to get home, I’m happy to take you.”
“I should probably go. My parents don’t like it when I’m out too late.”
Eliza stood up beside Miriam. “I’ll ride along if that’s okay.”
Before I could respond, Jax lifted her head slightly to mumble something.
“What was that?” I asked her.
“I said, you should let Eliza drive. She has her permit.”
I looked at my watch. It was getting pretty late, and I was pretty sure there were laws about driving at this time as a minor.
When I looked back at Eliza, I felt guilty about how excited she seemed about the prospect of driving.
“I think it’s probably too late for that tonight, but I could take you out later in the afternoon tomorrow once everyone leaves if that’s okay with you. ”
My answer must have satisfied Eliza because she hopped from foot to foot. “If you don’t mind, that would be amazing. If I get enough practice in, I’ll be able to get my license next month.”
Her joy was contagious, and I couldn’t stop the wide smile from spreading across my face. “Then let’s get to practicing.”
***
Over the next month, Jax and I took Eliza out to practice driving whenever possible. I did most weekends, while Jax helped her on any day she wasn’t at the cafe. She also allowed Eliza to drive whenever the two of them went to work at the cafe together.
Most weekdays, I found myself getting up early so I could have all of my work for the day done by late in the afternoon. That way, I could do at least an hour of practice with Eliza before dinner.