35. My Best Lingerie
My Best Lingerie
Luke
Our weekend is coming to a close, but I think we've become closer. We've talked a lot and I've learned so much about the horrors Dani went through at the hands of Josh and the aftermath that came with it. About what it was like raising a child while finishing school. I told her more about Sarah and the shit she put me through.
Dani video chatted with Mason and her mother, introducing us properly. When she explained what had happened between her and Josh on Friday night to Mason, I swear he grew two sizes bigger as his anger became apparent. It only took a few calming words from Dani to dissolve his rage towards the man.
Sandra, Dani's mother, promised me that she would take Dani into the station Monday to report what happened and to press charges. According to her, a few of her friend's children are working that day and she trusts them to get the ball rolling. When I asked why they didn't report it when Dani was younger, Sandra informed me that the Whitlock's had a few cops on the payroll back then and that they were laughed out of the station.
We had dinner on the rooftop patio, I even convinced her to watch a crime/thriller movie with me after her rant at dinner about how she hates them because she can never follow the story.
"Can I ask you a question?" Dani says from her place tucked under my arm.
"Ask away."
"When I take Josh to court, because I'm fucking going to, could you represent me? You can take the payments out of my cheques. Maybe not the whole thing at once because I do have bills to pay and Mason to feed." She looks up at me.
"Unfortunately, I can’t." I say.
Dani blinks at me. "Oh. Could you recommend someone."
"Mark. You’ll be in capable hands with him." I kiss her forehead.
"How come you can’t." She whispers.
"We’re in a relationship. Conflict of interest."
"Oh, that makes sense." Dani gives me a small grin and curls back against me.
I rest my arm on her hip and draw small circles on her skin. "I also want you to take some time off."
Dani shakes her head. "I can't."
"I want you to take two weeks off, at least. You're still recovering."
"I'll just work from home then. I can't afford to take time off." Dani argues.
"I'll pay you two weeks vacation time." I counter.
"I don't have enough hours to take two weeks off."
"Then I'll pay you from my personal account."
Dani climbs out from under my arm and stands. "I can't allow you to do that. Don't fight me on this, Archer. You won't win."
"I'll let you believe that, Sweetheart," I stand, dwarfing her. "I'll be right back."
I walk into my room, losing my shorts and throw on a pair of gray sweatpants. Women are obsessed with men in gray sweatpants, and if I'm being honest, I love the way Dani looks at me when I wear them. However, that's not why I'm doing it. I'm looking to get a laugh out of her with what I'm about to do.
I walk back out and Dani's cheek turn pink as she eyes me, biting her plump bottom lip.
I drop to my knees in front of her, taking her small hands in mine. "I’m begging here, Sweetheart. On my knees. In a pair of gray sweatpants. My best lingerie. Take some time off. Please." I bat my lashes at her and pout.
Dani snorts out a laugh, bending down and kissing my forehead. "You make a compelling argument, Archer, but fine, I'll take two weeks off."
I stand, smiling down at the woman I love. "Thank you, Sweetheart."
Dani
"I haven’t done this in years." I admit to Dr. Walters. "I’m a bit nervous." I twist my purse strap in my hands.
I had called to see if she was taking on new patience's and booked an appointment with her for Wednesday morning after Luke dropped me off Monday on his way to work and before Mom took me into the station to press charges against Josh.
She smiles softly, sitting back in her chair. "I’m not going to push you to tell me everything that has happened, Dani. I’m here to listen. If you want to sit here in silence for the hour, I’m fine with that. If you’d like to talk about your day, I’m fine with that as well. We go at your pace, not mine."
I relax against the back of the chair. The last therapist I saw pushed for information. He was constantly asking me questions about how I viewed myself, what I thought when I looked in the mirror and saw all my scars. He never touched on my relationship with Josh, he completely ignored it when I would bring it up and it made me feel worse, not better. I told my parents after a month of seeing him and they found me someone else.
But she wasn’t any better.
"I’d like to talk about my…relationship with Josh." I mutter.
"What would you like to talk about?"
I looked around the office. "I don’t know, to be honest. There are so many things I want to talk about."
Dr. Walters smiles. "That’s okay, take your time."
"Well, there is one thing that has always been a mystery to me," I say, sitting back against the chair. "Why did he pick me? I wasn't one of the popular kids. I didn't play sports or smoke weed. My family wasn't rich, but we never went without either and our house was a simple bungalow in one of Toronto's older neighbourhoods. I didn't fit in with him and his friends, I didn't even think I was on his radar, and yet, he picked me."
Dr. Walters crosses her leg over her knee and sits back. "From what I've gathered about your relationship with Josh from your assessment, it seems to me that he has narcissistic personality disorder. The love bombing, the gaslighting, the manipulation and the anger are all traits of narcissistic behaviour, along with being self-centered, lacking empathy and his need for attention and recognition.
"They choose people who are either strong-willed and have characteristics they admire because they believe they will also get the praise or who are forgiving and caring because they know they'll be able to get away with anything. However, without proper diagnoses it's hard to say. He could just be an asshole spoiled brat that is used to getting his own way. Tell me how your relationship started with him."
I spend the rest of my session going over my relationship with Dr. Walters. She listens quietly, only interrupting when she has a question or has something to say. At the end of our session, I feel drained, emotionally and mentally. It was a lot, but she gave me a few things to think about and some homework to do. I am to keep a journal for the next week and write down my feelings whenever Josh comes to mind for us to discuss next week.
This is going to be the hardest week of my life, but it will all be worth it if I can move on from the power Josh still holds over me.