43. Im Broken
I'm Broken
Dani
I lock myself in my room and flop down on my bed. Erin ordered me to go home and shower. Or as she so lovingly put it, ‘ you stink. Go wash your ass. ’ I’ve been at the hospital for four days straight, making sure Mason isn’t in anymore pain and is getting the best care. The hospital assured me that his stay in the private room has been paid for in full, up to a month by Archer law firm. Much of my stress lifted off my chest after hearing that, but it isn’t completely gone, and it won’t be until Mason is discharged.
I take a deep breath. Luke’s scent is still on my blankets, still lingering around my room. Burning climbs up my throat. I try to swallow but all that does is make it worse. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the tears not to come.
But they do anyways.
A soul deep wail bursts from me, tightening my stomach as I shake from the force of my tears. They pour down my face, no end in sight. Tears of pain and sorrow and heartbreak. I never allowed myself to mourn the love I lost.
If he had kept his promise, I wouldn't be sobbing into his pillow just to smell his scent one last time. I could be in his arms, surrounded by the safety of his body.
I wipe my cheeks, sobs still hiccupping out of me. My eyes are sore and my lids are swelling. I curl on my side and let the tears flow. There’s no point in fighting them, they’ll find a way to escape.
While my heart bleeds out, my body becomes heavy with sleep and I allow it to drag me under on tear-soaked pillows that smell like the man I love.
Gabe
Two weeks later
My phone starts ringing on the passenger seat of my '67 Charger. I reach over and grab it, putting it on speaker. "Hello, gorgeous."
"Hello, handsome. I need a favour." Dani says. "My lemon finally died, and I am on my way home with Mason. Any chance you can give us a lift?"
"Where you at?"
"Dundas and Bay."
"You're a lucky girl, I’m not far. I'll be there in ten." I hang up and make a right onto St. George Street, heading south towards College Steet.
I find Dani and Mason sitting out front of Canadian Tire on Dundas, her car is nowhere in sight. I pull up next to the curb and get out.
"Hello, gorgeous." I grin as Dani jumps into my arms, peppering my face with kisses.
"Thank you so much." Her arms squeeze me tight.
"Of course, Dani girl." I reply as she pulls away.
Dani opens the door. "Come on, Bubba. Gabe does not have all day."
"Actually, I’m free today."
Dani fires me a nasty look. "Shut it."
I chuckle as I grab Mason under the arm and help him to my car. Which is extremely hard to do because the kid has a few inches on me, and I stand at six-four. He folds himself into the front seat and pushes it all the way back. Dani rounds the front of the car and slips behind my seat.
"Where to, Dani girl?" I ask, climbing behind the wheel and starting it up. Mason jumps in his seat, looking over at me with wide eyes. "Rumbles the nut sack nicely, doesn’t it." I laugh as I rev it a few times.
"Gabe, stop playing with my sons nut sack." Dani deadpans.
"Ma, gross." Mason groans. "187 Seaton Street. The faster I get home, the less time I’ll have to spend with you two perverts."
I let out a laugh and Dani snorts from the back seat. I pull away from the curb and head towards their home.
I park in front of her house twenty minutes later and help Mason inside and onto the couch.
"So, how you doing, Dani girl?" I ask as I follow her into the kitchen.
"Not good, Gabe. Not good." She nods towards the backyard.
We step outside and sit on the covered swing. "What’s going on?" I question. Dani sits back. Her feet dangling off the swing. I give it a push with mine.
"I’m broken, Gabe. What Luke did," she covers her face. "He hurt me. Badly." She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them.
"I know he did, baby girl."
Dani sniffles. "Why would he not call me into the room? Mason needed me and he left me in the dark," her head drops onto her knees.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her close. "He thought he was helping, he didn't want to stress you out more."
Dani huffs.
"I’m serious. If he had known that Mason was scared of needles, he would've called you in in a heartbeat." I tell her.
Her head lifts. "It still doesn't excuse what he did."
I wipe her tears away. "I know, Dani girl and he feels fucking awful. He's a fucking mess without you."
We sit in silence, rocking on the swing.
"Can I tell you something?" she says after a while.
I glance down into Dani’s gorgeous, round face. "What’s that."
Tears spill down her cheeks. "I’m in love with him," she sobs, "I’m in love with him and he broke my heart."
Fuck me sideways.
I gather her in my arms and hold her against my chest as she cries tears of pain and heartbreak. I rub her back as she cries, trying my best to sooth her, which in turn makes her cry harder.
"Shhh, Dani girl. I’ve got you." I hold her until her tears subside and she crumples against my chest.