Chapter 5 DIEGO
Taran wasn’t playing around, as it turned out; the boy asked me out or over at least three times a week for the next few weeks.
He took me to fancy sushi on Mt. Washington, to elaborate Spanish tapas in Lawrenceville, to a place with the freshest pasta I’d ever had in my damn life in Carnegie, every place more romantic than the last. He made me more and more elaborate dinners; he picked me up late at night from work and hung out on my couch after; he was, in essence, a perfect gentleman on top of being a really good lay.
And all of that without bringing up too many uncomfortable memories, at least not out loud.
It felt like a proper second chance, when we weren’t lingering on all that past bullshit, when we were just getting to know each other all over again.
Like a normal couple of guys who were into each other would.
I knew we’d have to talk some shit through eventually, and every now and then I could tell he wanted to bring stuff up.
But I wasn’t ready to scratch that weird little itch in my brain yet.
I liked it. I liked him. And I wished it wasn’t so much more complicated than that.
After about three weeks, Kelly and Tom were due back from their honeymoon. The good thing about having family within an hour drive was that when my asshole brother ran off with my car, there was usually one I could borrow from someone else. Case in point: this shitty little red Honda.
The annoying thing about having family within an hour drive and borrowing their spare cars was that it meant if they needed anything, I pretty much had to do it.
I didn’t actually mind airport pickups, though. Always wanted to travel, myself, and it was like a little vicarious trip for me. Granted, I had a long fucking night of work ahead of me later, but I was actually interested to hear about the Hawaii honeymoon.
Kelly and Tom were already outside when I rolled up to the arrival gates, so I hopped out to help with the bags. “How was Hawaii, kids?”
“Overpriced.” Tom tossed a suitcase into the trunk—I’d made some room in there, finally—and then shook my hand.
He was an okay guy, kind of vanilla for someone as spicy as Kelly, but if she was happy, fuck it.
“Jesus, D, you’ve only had this car for like two months. Looks like you’ve been living in it.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know I tidied it up especially so your bags would fit,” I told him.
He laughed—my whole family knew I’d never had a car that didn’t look like I lived out of it. I was pretty good about keeping my living space orderly, especially the bathroom, but my brain chaos always spilled out into cars for some reason.
“I have never felt more like an exploitative colonizer than I did for the last two weeks.” Kelly handed Tom her case, then hugged me. “But damn, it’s beautiful there.”
“Aw, poor white girl.” I gave her a little squeeze before pulling back to smirk at her.
After Dad and Annie married, Kelly asked me once if it was weird to have white family now.
Seeing as the only black people in town when I was growing up were Dad, Frankie, me, and two other unrelated couples with families, the answer had been a resounding no.
Who the hell else was he gonna marry, seeing as he never left town?
Even my mom was half-white, half-Puerto Rican, and that was as close to colorful as Stanley County got. “And are you knocked up yet?”
Tom sighed. “Diego, if you jinx me…”
Neither of them wanted kids, at least not for a decade. If at all. But we all knew the parents were gonna start in on her, now that she was married, so I couldn’t help it. I finished helping with their bags, then said, “Get in, losers.”
Kelly slid into the passenger seat beside me. “Thanks for coming to get us. Parking is a bitch.”
“And my credit card is maxed,” Tom added.
Kelly rolled her eyes fondly. “How’s everyone?”
I made sure everyone had their arms and legs strapped in, then pulled out into the thru lane “Like, family?”
“Yeah.”
“No idea.” I shrugged. “Been working, mostly.”
“I figured Kacey would’ve been on your ass.” Kelly blew out a sigh, sending her fringe flying. “She texted me about you like four times while we were gone.”
“You know, I did feel like someone was walking over my grave a few times,” I said.
From the back seat, Tom let go a huge sigh. “Just ask him.”
I shot Kelly a look, and she was red-faced, screeching, “Tom!”
“Come on; he knows what you’re doing,” Tom insisted, smiling in the mirror at me.
It took me that fucking long to realize. My turn to roll my eyes. In the three weeks since the wedding, I’d barely spoken to Kelly, but there had only been one topic of conversation. I’d been able to duck her questions at the wedding, but now she had me trapped.
So I said, “You wanna ask about Taran Kovacs. Yes, we dipped out of your wedding for a few minutes. And made out in the back seat of this fabulous car you so kindly loaned me.”
Tom made a face and looked down at his seat. “Uh…”
I glanced up at him in the mirror, grinning. “Relax. I don’t let anything go to waste.”
Not true, but worth it to see Tom wince like that.
“Brought that on yourself,” Kelly told him.
I agreed. “He did.”
“Kelly’s mom says he’s not gay,” Tom said, probably happy to change the subject back.
“He’s not. He’s currently comfortable referring to himself as queer. He’s not a big labels guy.” Which might’ve been cause for concern, given our past, if he hadn’t been so open about his interest in me.
Okay, I was still a little smug about it. Basking in it. I’d waited fuckin’ long enough.
“Mmhm,” Kelly hummed. “And have you seen him since?”
“Every last inch of him,” I said matter-of-factly.
She asked, “And he’s treating you right?”
“He’s… amazing, yeah,” I admitted. “Nice dinners and theater dates and shit. Incredible dick, too.”
“Really?” She snorted. “He looks like one of those self-centered jock types who would be all about himself in bed.”
“Girl. Please.” I side-eyed her viciously. “I mean, we haven’t gotten too adventurous yet, just feeling it out, but I haven’t been fucked this good in a long time.”
Which was also part of why I just wanted to be on him all the time. And was starting to let the whole “bossy power bottom” act slide.
After three weeks, patterns became obvious. Even my own patterns.
“I want to meet him,” Kelly said.
“You did.” Or I wouldn’t be dealing with this inquisition.
“No, really meet him. Like in context as your boyfriend.”
“First of all, he’s not my boyfriend. Second, you never met my other boyfriends.”
Tom piped up again: “No, we met that one guy. Roy. And the other guy in the polycule, uh—”
“Toby. Don’t remind me.” I made a face
“Is he sleeping over?” Tom asked.
Ugh, not him too. “No.”
“Are you?” Kelly asked.
“No.” I glared. “We’re not U-Haul lesbians, Kelly. Jesus.”
Tom shook his head. “Sleeping over after a few weeks isn’t that fast. Does he work outside the city or something? Where’s he live?”
“Actually, my place is closer to where he works. He lives in Robinson.”
“But he’s never stayed?”
I tried not to snap. “I never asked him.”
Tom asked, “You just kick him out at night?”
“No, I just…” I trailed off, frustrated, and fake-focused on merging to give myself a minute. “When he says he should go, I say okay, see you later.”
And then he’d kiss me and tell me he’d see me soon and leave. Because he was a fucking gentleman.
Because he’d made it clear he was happy for any time I’d give him. Anything I’d give him. Like I was doing him a fucking favor.
Fuck. We were gonna have to talk about it, weren’t we? I was being such a little bitch that I was even getting on my own nerves. Ugh.
“Why?” Kelly asked.
“What?”
“Why don’t you ask him to stay?” she wondered.
I was gonna lose it, so I changed the subject. “Okay, can we please talk about Hawaii, a place I will never be able to afford to go?”
Tom wasn’t having it, though. “He must have a good job if he’s taking you out like that. It’s not cheap these days, especially downtown.”
“He does,” I muttered. “Marketing or something.”
Kelly said, “Maybe he can take you to Hawaii?”
“Oh my god. Shut up. Silence for the rest of the drive. For real.”
***
I grew up thinking my dad actually knew what the fuck he was doing, like most little kids.
But by the time I was fourteen, I realized he had no idea.
By the time I was sixteen, I realized he was what the red-pilled manosphere call a beta.
He had no idea who he was or what he was about; he just didn’t want to be left out.
As a result, his interests and parenting style went in phases.
Currently, thanks to Kelly and Kacey’s mom, Annie, he was in his happy families phase.
When he came outside to greet us in a polo shirt and a golf hat, I wasn’t even gonna make fun; it was the most peaceful phase he’d ever had, and I was here for it.
Annie followed him out onto the porch, waving as we got Kelly and Tom’s stuff out of the trunk. “Come in and have lunch, everyone!”
I shared a knowing look with Kelly. “I might have to bail.”
“Come on, D.” She rolled her eyes. “We won’t bring up Taran if you don’t want.”
“We can keep a secret,” Tom said with a grunt, hefting her huge suitcase.
“It’s not a secret,” I snapped but then took a deep breath. “It’s not.”
“What’s not?” Annie, who apparently had bionic fucking ears, hollered from the porch. “Come show me all your pictures, Kell!”
Dad met us at the steps and took a duffel bag off my shoulder. “Diego.”
“Dad,” I replied with a lift of my chin. Even in this kinder gentler phase of his life, we had to do the hyper masculine greeting. Shit was in his DNA, I was pretty sure.
“Thanks for picking them up,” Annie said as we all shoved into Kelly and Tom’s living room. Annie and Dad owned the duplex and lived next door—a far cry from the run-down little green house by the river I’d grown up in.
“How was the flight?” Annie asked, hugging Kelly.
Tom murmured, “Long.”