Chapter 7
Carter
I hurried to the bathroom and as soon as I was inside with the door locked behind me, I went to the sink and splashed water on my face. I had to make sure this was real. Had Jax really volunteered to move with me to help with my grandma? Not only that, but she was suggesting a permanent move.
I was happy at the prospect of being able to take care of my grandma and be with Jax, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about moving here.
It’s not that I hated the idea. I just couldn’t make a decision that major on a whim.
Apparently, Jax could. Not that it surprised me.
That was how Jax lived her life. She helped bring me out of my comfort zone, which was one of the things that made her perfect for me.
But, moving to Maryland? What would that even look like? Would my boss really be okay with a permanent move?
Standing in the bathroom, asking my questions to the mirror wasn’t solving anything, and I had confirmed that I was very much awake and not dreaming, so I decided to go back with Jax.
I took a deep breath before walking into the bedroom. Jax was still sitting at the same spot on the bed with the cutest little smile parting her lips.
I would follow you anywhere, even into the unknown. The thought popped into my head like a revelation. I took my spot back on the bed next to Jax. “Sorry about that. I just needed a minute.”
Jax reached out and grabbed my hand, placing both of our hands on her lap. “It’s all good. Are you okay? I didn’t upset you, did I?”
“Not at all.” I shook my head a bunch of times to emphasize my words.
“It was kind of the opposite. I really didn’t know where this conversation would go, but I was definitely not expecting that response.
There’s so much to think about and consider, but I guess, the first thing I want to know is what’s in this for you?
I know you care about me and would do anything for my family, but I don’t know if that’s enough for even someone like you not to get resentful if things go sour. ”
Jax wasn’t the type of person to be resentful, but she was human. It was only natural to get upset if something that you did for someone else had a negative impact on you. I wouldn’t blame her if that happened. I would only blame myself.
Jax squeezed my hand. “Well, first of all, I love you and don’t want us to be apart. I can’t lie though. The other reason I was so quick to jump on this opportunity is completely selfish.”
“And what’s that?”
Jax turned to face me more fully. “So, when I was helping Ethan out today, he mentioned being stressed about what to do with the cafe. He wants to retire, but also hates the thought of selling it to someone random. If we move here, I can buy it from him.”
Holy crap. This was huge. I also couldn’t believe I didn’t think of that. Why should Jax have to stress about the cafe in New York City when we literally have a cafe in our family? It made perfect sense.
That didn’t change the fact that it felt completely insane to pack up our whole life in New York City to jump into a totally new life we knew nothing about.
It’s not like this was anything we had talked about.
I honestly always kind of assumed if we ever left New York, we would move to Vermont or Pennsylvania to be closer to family.
The thought of moving to Maryland had never crossed my mind until today.
Wasn’t this the type of decision we should sit on for at least six months?
“Mind sharing all of the thoughts running through your head right now?” Jax asked with a chuckle.
I smiled over at Jax. This woman understood me so well.
She deserved the world, and I wanted to give it to her.
“My first thought was that I couldn’t believe I never thought of you taking over Uncle Ethan’s cafe.
It’s such a perfect solution for you. I feel like it’s the perfect place for you, given that it’s an LGBTQ safe space.
I could see you taking that and somehow making it better and finding even more ways to help LGBTQ individuals in the community.
I want you to have that. You deserve it and so much more.
” My voice cracked as I became choked up.
I was at a major crossroads and my head and my heart were telling me two completely different things.
“I’m just… I don’t know. This is a huge leap, and I’m really not good with the unknown.
Moving to New York was a big thing for me and way outside of my comfort zone.
Opening my heart to you was even scarier.
The voice in my head keeps telling me this is crazy.
It’s too soon to make another life-altering change, and I need to just slow down.
But there’s another voice telling me that this could end up being the best decision I ever made. ”
Jax pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and stared deep into my eyes. “It could be the best decision of our lives or it could be the worst.”
I cackled at her supposed words of wisdom. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“What I’m saying is that we never know what’s going to happen, but you’re never going to know unless you try.”
She made a good point, but there was still so much to think about.
“But what about the cafe? You said yourself how important it is to Ethan. If you agree to buy it, he’s probably going to assume it’s forever.
I feel like that’s a lot of pressure to make it work, and we might end up stuck here even if we hate it. ”
Jax nodded knowingly. “That’s a good point and exactly why I need you.
” Jax stared up at the ceiling as if she was thinking.
When she looked back at me, she had a wide grin on her face.
“I got it. Our current lease is up in six months. That means we have five months until we have to let them know if we’re renewing it.
What if we do a trial run down here? I can oversee Ethan at the cafe.
We can both take care of your grandma. We’ll be able to test out what it’s like to live in this area.
If we love it, we stay. If we hate it, we go.
If we’re still not sure, we do a month-to-month lease in New York until we are. ”
“That’s a lot of money to put into an apartment we aren’t living in.” I sounded like such a pessimist, but in reality, I was just a realist. I hoped Jax realized that so she didn’t get annoyed at me.
“But if we’re living with your grandma, we won’t be paying for rent down here.
Just think of New York as paying for a safety net or even a vacation home.
I’m sure we’ll want to go back a lot to visit friends.
This way we don’t have to sleep on couches or in guest rooms. We’ll have our own space when we visit. ”
“You have an answer for everything, don’t you?” I teased.
“The answers I don’t have, you have.” Jax wiggled her eyebrows. “It’s why we make such a good team.”
“We really do. It’s why I’m willing to do things with you by my side that I normally wouldn’t.”
Jax smirked. “Is that a yes?”
Honestly, all she had to do was smile at me, and the answer would always be yes. There was no way I was going to share that with her though. “It’s a yes from me. Before we make any decisions, though, I want to talk to my moms. I wouldn’t want them to think I’m overstepping.”
“That makes sense. I wouldn’t want them to think that I’m influencing you to overstep.”
“They’re here. Should we talk to them now?”
“Why wait? This could be the beginning of the rest of our lives.”
I yelled for my moms to come up, and it only took them a minute or two until they were in the bedroom, looking like they were worried something was seriously wrong.
I patted the side of the bed, motioning for them to sit. “Everything is okay, so you can calm down.”
Jax chuckled. “Look who’s talking.” She pointed her thumb at me. “This one was acting like the world was ending when I asked if we could talk.”
I shrugged. “I clearly get it naturally.”
“So, what’s up?” my mom asked as she sat down beside me.
My mama took a seat on the side of the bed where Jax was sitting. “Yes. We’re dying to know what the shouting is about.”
“So, Jax and I had a kind of crazy idea. It’ll only be temporary to start, and we don’t even know if it’s actually going to happen.
A lot would have to come together, such as my boss being okay with me working remotely.
We just wanted to talk to you two before we moved forward with anything, because we-”
“We are thinking about moving to Maryland to take care of Grandma Miller, so she doesn’t have to be put in a home,” Jax interrupted.
My mama’s eyes went wide and she blew out a long breath. “Are you sure you girls know what you’re getting yourselves into?”
Her worried expression had my heartrate picking up. “Given the look on your face I’m going to say no.”
My mom took my hand in hers. “It’s really sweet that you girls are willing to do this, but you need to know that this town is much different than the places you two grew up. It’s pretty much the complete opposite of New York City.”
Jax nodded. “We understand that, but we’re willing to give it a try.”
“This is a trial run,” I explained to my moms. “Nothing is final. We are going to keep our apartment in the city and try being here for a few months. If we hate it, we’ll go back. If nothing else, it keeps Grandma from having to uproot her life immediately after losing her husband.”