Chapter 11
Carter
After a month of working remotely and helping out with my grandma, I was starting to go a little stir crazy.
I had made two trips to New York, and that was honestly the only time I felt like a human.
It just sucked that those two trips were taken without Jax since she had stayed back with my grandma.
Even though we lived together and I worked from home, it felt like we had less time with each other because most of that time was spent keeping up with a much larger house than what we were used to and taking care of my grandma.
I needed to get out, and I knew the perfect place to go.
After confirming with my grandma that she would be okay if I left for an hour or two and making sure she had her phone right beside her to call me if she needed anything, I got in my car and drove to the cafe.
I texted Jax to let her know I was coming and was surprised when she texted back almost immediately saying how excited she was.
As I parked down the block from the cafe, I thought about how I couldn’t believe this was the first time I had been here since moving to Maryland. As soon as I shut off my car, there was a knock on my window that made me jump.
I put my hand on my chest to try to calm my rapidly beating heart and looked over to find Jax smiling at me. That’s a sight for sore eyes. My heart beat was fast for a completely different reason now.
Jax opened my door and closed it behind me then wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug that felt like coming home. When we got to the sidewalk, Jax took my hand and leaned in for a quick kiss. Even though our lips only touched for a second, I still felt it throughout my whole body.
The sound of a throat clearing behind us took my attention off of Jax. I turned to find a man who appeared to be a few years older than us standing beside the cutest little girl who had her curly blonde hair pulled back in pigtails.
When I smiled at the man, he glared back at me. “Excuse me,” he said. “I have my daughter with me.”
Okay… does he want to go past us? Must be in quite the hurry.
I stepped off to the side, but the man didn’t budge. I looked at Jax, who simply shrugged and knelt down so she was on the little girl's level.
“I love your pigtails.” Jax held up her hand. “Can I have a high five?”
The little girl brought her hand up, but her dad pushed her behind his back as if he had to protect her from Jax. “Listen, I don’t care what you people do in the privacy of your own homes, but there’s no reason to flaunt your sex lives in public. Especially around children.”
Flaunting our sex lives? This guy can’t be serious. I was so taken aback, I didn’t know what to say. I stared at the ground as my face warmed, and I had to imagine I was as red as a tomato.
Jax shook her head and stood back up, standing tall to face this bigot. “With all due respect, buddy, it was just a kiss. I’ve seen worse from middle school kids who come into my cafe.”
The man crossed his arms and huffed. “That’s different.”
“Why? Because they’re straight?” Jax smirked. “Some of them aren’t.”
The man’s face became so red in anger that I was honestly afraid he might hit Jax. “And how do you think they became that way at such a young age? It’s from people like you spreading an agenda.”
I was happy when he stomped away, pulling his daughter behind him.
“You have a great day too!” Jax waved cheerfully at his back as if we hadn’t just experienced something awful.
“How are you smiling right now?” I asked her, unable to hide the annoyance I felt over it.
“I refuse to let the bigots who live in this town get me down.” She said it so matter-of-factly that it made me believe this wasn’t her first time experiencing something like this since moving here.
“Wait. Has this happened to you before?”
“Not that exactly.”
“But something like that?” My stomach turned. I was sick over this, and Jax was acting like it was just another Wednesday.
“Some homophobic old lady and her bigot buddy like to hang out in front of the cafe on Monday mornings and try to bring us sinners to Christ.” Again, Jax’s tone made it sound like this was all some big joke.
It wasn’t a joke to me though. I had made it through my life without experiencing homophobia in person.
I wasn’t naive. I knew it existed. I saw the comments online.
Recently, I had even gotten my first one-star review on my book because the person was pissed off that the romance was between two women.
I’d always been protected from this kind of judgement and never realized how lucky I was.
Jax stopped walking and rubbed my back. “It’s okay, babe. People like that don’t matter. He doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. He’s literally speaking out of his ass. We can’t let him ruin our day.”
I blinked my eyes to try to hold in my tears, but it was no use. The tears rolled slowly down my cheeks. I wanted to wipe them away, embarrassed by the fact that they had started in the first place, but I was frozen in place.
Jax put her hands on my cheeks and used her thumbs to wipe away my tears.
“It’s okay, baby,” she said softly. “You can’t let people like that get to you.
He’s probably just mad because he has a small dick and knows you fuck me better with a dildo than he could ever fuck his wife with that twig between his legs. ”
I laughed through my tears. I was so lucky to have someone like Jax in my life who knew how to make me smile when I didn’t think it was possible. “I love you so much.”
I was about to lean in and kiss her but stopped myself. I didn’t want to open up the wound all over again by having someone else make a rude comment to us.
“I love you too.” Jax reached out to take my hand and shook it when I didn’t grab hers back. “People in this town can deal with it. When I want to hold my girlfriend’s hand, nothing is going to stop me.”
I took Jax’s hand but looked around to see if there was anyone near us. I had grown a lot since Jax and I started dating, but I still wasn’t nearly as confident as she was. I wish I could be, but I just didn’t think I had it in me.
Walking into the cafe was like a breath of fresh air.
No one gave me and Jax a second look. This really was a gay oasis like Jax said.
Before today and what we had just experienced, I hadn’t realized just how important that was.
Jax lit up as she showed me around as if I hadn’t spent my whole life coming here whenever my family was in Maryland.
I loved how happy it made her, but right now, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t where we belonged.
It was just as much, or more so, my idea to move here, and I was already starting to regret it.
I wanted to give it a chance for Jax, but we were only a month in, and I was ready to leave.
I put on a smile for Jax and hoped that soon enough, this smile would be real.
***
Unfortunately, the next month was even worse than the first. I ended up taking my grandma to multiple appointments due to more health issues that kept arising, which made it hard to keep up with my work.
Since I was determined to prove that I could work remotely, I found myself doing the majority of my work when Jax was home.
She was the perfect partner and so understanding.
She took care of my grandma without one single complaint.
But I could tell by the way she looked at me and constantly asked if I was okay that she knew I wasn’t.
“Why haven’t you come back to the cafe?” she asked one night while we ate dinner together.
“I’ve been a little busy,” I said with more attitude than I meant to.
An immense feeling of guilt immediately overtook me.
Jax didn’t deserve this attitude. She had been nothing but supportive.
I hung my head. “I’m sorry. I’m just exhausted.
It’s been crazy with everything that keeps coming up with my grandma. ”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t because of what happened with that guy. I promise most people around here are much nicer than him.”
“I’ve just been busy.” It wasn’t a lie since I really had been busy, but it also wasn’t the full truth. Running into that man had shaken me up so much that I didn’t want to risk having it happen again.
Jax stared at me for a long time as if she was waiting for me to break down and tell her I was lying. “The town’s fall festival is this weekend. We should go.”
“What about my grandma?” I looked down at my plate to avoid Jax’s prying eyes.
“We can take her! It’d be good for her to get out of the house.
” Jax bent down to bring her eyes in line with mine and force me to look at her.
“It’d be good for both of you. You’ve been stuck in this house for way too long.
The fresh air will be good for you. Unlike New York, that’s not just a phrase here. The air is actually fresh. No smog.”
“I miss the smog. I even miss some of the smells.” I knew I was whining, but I couldn’t get myself to stop.
Jax scrunched up her nose but smiled at me. “Give it a chance. This place could still surprise you.”
“You’re right. I’ll go.” It wasn’t hard to convince me because I’d follow this woman anywhere.
***
“Let’s not stay too long,” my grandma said as we helped her out of the car and into her wheelchair.
I patted her shoulder. “We won’t. Don’t worry.” I wasn’t convinced I wanted to stay long, so my grandma was the perfect excuse to leave early.
I took a deep, calming breath as we walked toward the street where the festival was taking place.
The smell of baked goods and fried food hit my nose, which actually helped to ease some of my worries.
I loved that smell. It reminded me of fall and watching Ronan play football while Olivia cheered. It was a little like coming home.
Jax elbowed me in the side. “Smells good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. I want five of whatever that smell is.”