Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Breathe. I forgot how to breathe.
Austin drops a sandwich hand and pulls me closer. “Soph? You okay?”
Look at him. His curly hair all McDreamy-like on his huge head on his massive shoulders. His eyes—soft, steady, good—like a teddy bear turned human. He’s the most perfect person I know, inside and out.
This doesn’t make any sense. This cannot happen.
The line of girls before me. Savannah, Camila, Lily, Faith, Fatima, Mikayla. And those are just the ones I know about. Every last one, stunning. Some smart, some funny, some sweet, some fierce. Most of those girls never even got a second date. The world tilts. I need one of those oxygen masks.
Protecting my freedom means keeping my heart out of the crosshairs.
Half-miserable, maybe, but at least endurable.
Even if I somehow didn’t screw this up—and, oh, I would—we don’t make any sense together.
Best case, he’d follow me around and never be content.
Worst case, we’d grow to hate each other. I …
Have to get out of here. I snatch my hand away. I’ll figure out how to play this off. We’ll find the others and have a normal night. By tomorrow we’ll be back to Normal Us.
“Sophie.” His voice is strained. “Say something.”
This will blow over in no time. I’ll go out with Davis to make things really clear, and Austin will have moved on to the next girl by Tuesday.
I jerk my head to pan like a caged animal. The others are MIA. What do I do? How do I survive this?
Help?
So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him?
My panning slows to a stop. I hand-lettered that this morning. Wrote it like six times until I got it just right.
So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts …
This is a gift?
But how? Why? I don’t know what I’m doing. I barely know how to follow you yet.
My eyes fill.
A gift. For me?
Austin steps back. His jaw tightens. His gaze flickers everywhere but me. He presses his fingers into his eyes, like this is physically painful.
What if it’s true? If this is a gift, I can’t waste it.
I couldn’t waste it.
Impulse wins, and I take the step back toward him, answering with a kiss. Just a peck. A No more panicking peck.
And then I suck in an audible breath.
I. Just. Kissed. Austin. My face lights on fire.
His hand drops. Wide, relieved eyes. Relaxing shoulders. I almost laugh at his reaction.
He wraps an arm around me and pulls until our hips touch.
Oh. I like this.
His hand on my back is at just the right height, like Hitch taught Albert, like when we were dancing. The other hand finds my chin, tilts it up to his.
“You scared me,” he murmurs, lips so close they almost brush mine.
“Sure about this?” I whisper.
His answer is the most glorious kiss, his lips pressing into mine with slow, deliberate certainty. My nerves erupt, my mind fogs, my lips buzz with energy. I can’t believe this is happening to me.
Wait, is this real? What happens when it doesn’t last?
Another kiss. Shorter. Firmer.
He pulls back, and I blink up at him.
Back to full height, his face splits into an impossibly attractive, mischievous grin. “Ready for the next adventure?” But he makes no move to go anywhere.
I need an out-of-office reply. Thank you for your inquiry. I’ll respond just as soon as my brain completes a factory reset. Instead, my mouth goes rogue. “Oh, kissing me is an adventure?”
His grin deepens. “The best kind.”
That kiss-smile combo. How many girls have seen it before me? How many times will I see it? How long until it’s gone forever?
I swallow, begging my brain to take a break, and somehow manage, “Lead the way.”
His eyes go gentle. He doesn’t budge. Instead, he brushes hair from my face, the pads on his fingers sliding across my skin. My eyes almost roll into my head.
“Talk to me, Soph.”
Should I bother with the truth? It comes tumbling out anyway. “I didn’t think you liked me like that.”
His face crumples like I told him something absurd, like I’m transferring to Texas A&M.
“You’ve already dated half the girls on campus.” Part question, part accusation.
He rolls his eyes. “Half? Really?”
What am I doing? My best friend just declared impossible feelings for me, and I’m picking a fight.
“I wasn’t kissing those girls. It wasn’t the same at all.”
He wasn’t? Process. Can’t process.
My feet ease me backward. What have I done? That was the stupidest, most impulsive decision of my life. Three kisses—
“Hey,” he says softly. “You didn’t like it? Me dating?”
I half laugh, pitifully. He’s gently pulling my cards down one by one.
“I hated when you were with Leo,” he admits quietly.
Too much honesty. All at once.
When he reaches for me, I cave—fall into his bear body. I spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining this.
It’s better.
Warmth. Safety. Trust. Electricity. I could live here. Goodbye, world.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly, pressing a slow kiss to my forehead. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into my hair.
The best apology of my life.
“I didn’t think any of that through,” he says. “Since I met you, I’ve just been biding my time. Distracting myself.”
More kisses around my face. Bliss.
Biding his time? Distracting himself? Cannot compute.
“A song,” he says. “I need a relevant song, Soph.”
It comes in an instant. I mumble the title, still half drugged from the apology kisses. “‘Life with You.’ Walker Hayes.”
Austin starts murmur-singing it, exactly the part I mean—about commitment issues and being done flying solo. His thumb runs down my arm. “Let’s listen to it where we’re going.”
What a perfect, infeasible dream. He smells like fresh air and firewood. Like a lumberjack. How do I keep him this close? How do I keep reality from hitting me like a brick?
“C’mon.” One more kiss on the bridge of my nose. “You’re gonna like this.”
“Mm. Surprises.”
He catches my hand and takes off jogging down the boardwalk. The best hand. The best night. The best guy. And yet, my eyes sting with unwanted tears. Because this relationship will destroy me.
But I’m still following. Running to my doom. I blink the tears away and steel my heart. I can’t say no to this. Dating the dream guy is the experience of a lifetime—I refuse to refuse it. I’ll enjoy every bit of Austin for every minute I have him.
Future Sophie will just have to rot in the closet … until she haunts me for the rest of my life.