Chapter 17
Malia
As Keahi falls limp, I turn my back to him and reach for the vent in the roof.
In other circumstances, I would feel terrible for hurting a classmate and going against someone’s wishes, but not right now.
Right now, I am consumed by anger and frustration, my bottled-up emotions of the past five and a half years resurfacing.
A small part of me feels powerful at the sight of the boy, one of the strongest at the academy, unconscious on the dusty floor because of me.
I did that without breaking a sweat, and I revel in it.
It’s probably the reason Keahi is always acting like a jerk.
It should scare me that I suddenly understand him, but my mind is whirring with too many thoughts to focus on it.
The loss of my parents, being new in this confusing world, the loneliness and constant pressure, the most recent events with Aiden, and now Keahi.
My chest burns as the whirlwind of old and new emotions crashes over me.
I realize I’ve never had time to breathe since my arrival at the academy, and now it feels like I am finally drowning in the aftermath. But I won’t drown, I am a fighter.
I open the vent and hoist myself inside, squashing the silent protest of my battered conscience.
It’s short and I reach the closed top in no time, opening it to be greeted by bright light.
The sun. Fresh air fills my nostrils, and I take a deep breath before climbing outside, my body going through the motions before I can process what’s happening.
My limbs start shaking with the realization that I’m standing on a field.
Behind me is the wall of the academy but ahead are acres of flowers and trees.
I see a bird for the first time in five and a half years and hear the leaves rustle in the wind.
My heart is racing as I’m trying to take in all the things I’ve missed for so long.
The scent of flowers, the soft breeze brushing past me, and the sun.
Oh, the sun. I’ve long since forgotten how great it felt to have the sun burn down on my skin. It’s the type of warmth that nothing can replace. I’m dizzy with elation.
Tears of joy sting my eyes, but I blink them away.
I don’t want them to blur the view.
There are windows at the academy but they’re all the way at the top of our 40 feet high walls.
You can’t see the outside through them.
Time passes and I greedily drink in the sights and sounds until I hear movement behind me.
"You will regret this," Keahi hisses behind my back, sounding more bitter than angry.
"Calm down or I’ll put you back to sleep." My voice is calm again, indifferent.
"That was a shit move," he says, but I merely shrug.
"We’re even.
Now, shut up."
Of course, Keahi doesn’t shut up.
When does he ever do what I tell him to...
"So, you found it. What are you going to do now?" he asks. I can feel him watching me but don’t bother looking at him. Not when there are so many more exciting things out here.
"What do I do now?" I was going to enjoy this moment in peace, but I guess that’s off the table.
"Rat me out to the teachers? Bring all your little friends here?" I furrow my eyebrows and finally meet the boy’s eyes over my shoulder.
He’s serious.
"Is that why you so desperately tried to keep me from finding this? I could have been outside again for two years if you would’ve just stopped being so suspicious of everything and everyone for two seconds! Unbelievable," I exclaim.
He doesn’t seem to understand, so I go on, "I won’t tell anyone," I explain slowly as if talking to a five-year-old.
"Thanks-" At his apparent relief, some of my earlier anger returns.
The last thing I want right now is to make him feel better.
Not after finding out what he’s kept from me.
Not that he owed me anything.
We’re a far cry from being friends and always have been so I shouldn’t be offended by his keeping of this secret.
And yet, after our night in the library, I’ve deluded myself that we’re something more than this. More than rivals.
He sure proved me wrong.
The betrayal of his harsh words and the fact that I only just now found out about this treasure digs deep.
"I am not doing this for you.
I just happen to like this spot, so I do it for myself.
If you could finally shut up now, that would be great." I smile sweetly at him before turning my gaze ahead.
Then, it happens out of nowhere, everything goes black, and all the noise disappears.
"Malia." The female voice is louder than ever, sounding closer and more desperate.
"Who are you?" I hear my own voice slightly distorted in the distance.
How I finally managed to ask what I’ve been wondering for years and why it happened now, I don’t know.
"Malia, can you hear me?" The voice asks, disbelieving.
No, scratch that.
It’s excited. Exhilarated.
"Yes," I answer.
"Listen to me, we are going to find you.
Don’t worry, okay? Just hang in there for a little longer." The voice grows fainter, floating away so far out of reach that I can’t talk back anymore.
"Malia? Malia!" they call out softly.
"Malia!" A new voice is in the mix.
It seems to come from a different place, but I can’t sort out where from.
I don’t know what’s happening, and my mind is spinning. Reeling. Who’s looking for me? Who’s talking now. What is happening to me?
Pressure is building at my temples, then the pain erupts into a blinding sting.
There’s a scream.
My scream. My back arches off the ground and my eyes snap open. When did I lie down?
"Malia, are you okay?" Keahi’s urgent voice comes from beside me.
I look up at him but am too dizzy to talk.
"Shit, I don’t have anything..." His voice trails off as he pulls his shirt over his head, laying it over me and rubbing my arms up and down.
Meanwhile, I wasn’t aware I’ve been shaking.
The summer air felt hot on my skin just a second ago.
"What happened?" My voice is hoarse when I finally break the silence.
"That was intense," he breathes instead of offering a reply.
With a nervous chuckle he runs a hand along his scalp, messing up his tight curls in the process.
"You seemed fine one moment and threw yourself back on the grass the next. I said your name, but you didn’t answer. Your body started jerking around and your eyes were rolling madly in your head. Then, you screamed and woke up. Thank the skies you did because I really didn’t want to explain to Kaz how you just dropped dead next to me."
"Your concern is truly moving," I grumble.
There is a beat of silence, and he stops rubbing my arms.
When he steps back, my brain finally processes that he’s shirtless and my eyes lower to take in his bare torso. Miles of smooth dark skin stretch over toned muscles, glowing beneath the sun. My mouth waters, all thoughts banished as my fried brain short wires. Who knew he was hiding all that beneath his uniform.
"You are unbelievable." Keahi’s smooth chuckle snaps me out of the staring contest with his muscular chest.
I avert my eyes and sit up, blaming my behavior on whatever had just knocked me out.
Getting over his apparent satisfaction with my momentarily lapse in judgement, Keahi softly asks, "Are you okay?" I roll my eyes and get to my feet.
"I’m fine." I scowl and throw his shirt at him.
"Maybe you should stay down for a moment.
Make sure you don’t pass out-"
"Don’t you have more interesting people to hang out with since I’m so boring?” I snap at him, not willing to let his feigned worry get to me.
I mean, of course, I’m not fine, but Keahi can go to the coldest bottoms of the ocean for all I care.
We’re not friends and he’s made that abundantly clear.
As suspected, Keahi doesn’t have a reply for me.
He just stands there, looking at me with an unreadable expression.
“That’s what I thought," I snap. Then, I climb down the vent and hurry into my room before he can catch up to me. As soon as the door closes behind my back and silence engulfs me, my thoughts run wild.
Someone has really been trying to reach out to me...
I don’t know what to think.
The voices do seem familiar, faintly, but I don’t know how. Find you... hang in there... Who would try to find me and why would I have to hang in anywhere?
My head aches trying to figure this mess out.
It feels like there’s so much I’m missing.
So much I don’t know.
I go to bed early, hoping I’ll manage to talk to the voices again.
I need answers.
Hours pass but my mind is restless, and I can’t fall asleep.
I try everything but soon enough, morning comes, and I am still wide awake.
I groan in frustration when my alarm goes off and get ready for the day reluctantly.
At breakfast, my best friend doesn’t seem to pick up on my rare case of bad mood.
"Good morning! Where have you been? It feels like we haven’t talked in forever!" Wystan says the second I sit down at their table.
The last time we really hung out was Saturday evening before my date with Aiden. It feels like forever ago, even if it’s only been three days. "I’m guessing you were busy with Aiden?" They wiggle their eyebrows at me, and I cringe.
"Nope.
It’s kind of over between us.
It just wasn’t a good match. Anyway, what have you been up to?" I deflect. It’s then that it occurs to me that Aiden might’ve told his friends all about how much I fell for his act, even though he didn’t complete the bet. I just hope that he has enough sense in him to keep it on the low rather than try to publicly humiliate me.
"I’ve just hung out with Dustin." My friend’s cheeks turn a bright red, and I give them a knowing smile, my sour mood lightening.
Sadly, we don’t have a lot of time to catch up until we need to get to our classes.
We meet up for lunch again and Dustin joins us, along with some of his friends.
I generally listen more than I talk, especially in bigger crowds, so I have time to obsess over the eyes on me.
I don’t know where Keahi is, but he is looking at me and it’s taking more restraint than I’d like to keep myself from searching for the source of my unease.
I think it’s weird that he’s aware that I know he’s watching but still does it.
Maybe he’s trying to get my attention, I think briefly before shutting that thought down.
Nah, he probably just wants to mess with me.
"What about you, Malia?" a girl from the earth division asks.
I didn’t catch her name, but she is around our age.
Long black dreadlocks frame her angelic face, and her dark almond eyes seem gentle as she blinks at me expectantly.
How on earth did I not notice I was sitting beside a goddess?
"I’m sorry, what was that?" I ask, feeling my cheeks burn up as I wish I’d paid more attention.
Stupid Keahi, messing with me enough so I make a fool out of myself around a pretty girl! She smiles patiently, and my awareness of everything else fades.
"I asked if you are seeing anyone at the moment?" she repeats, and Wystan not so subtly shoves their elbow into my ribs.
I ignore them.
"Oh, uh, nope.
What about you?" I reply, really flustered now.
Partly thanks to my friend’s obvious behavior and partly due to the implication of her question.
"Me neither." She smiles widely but soon turns to talk someone else.
I deflate a little, the pressure easing from my shoulders.
I’m not used to this sort of situation.
I wonder if she was hitting on me or just trying to include me into a conversation.
Does it matter? Would I be interested if she was trying to give me a hint? Things with Aiden ended so recently, I don’t want to give people the wrong idea.
Either way, I decide to concentrate on the conversation from now on and catch her name.
Terra.
A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
As I get to my feet, she fixes those pecan eyes on me with a hopeful expression.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yeah, I have to get to training.” I smile, unable to find something smart or smooth to ask her back now that she started a conversation.
I keep hearing “You’re too.
damn. boring.” like an endless, taunting loop. It makes me overthink every possible reply until I opt for staying silent.
"Oh, okay.
Have fun!” she says slightly awkwardly.
I muster up a half-smile.
“Thanks, you too.” Immediately, I cringe and turn to end this painful parade of my inept social skills.
Terra’s voice sounds out again though, making my step falter.
“Will you be here at dinner tonight?” she asks, smiling shily.
My heart skips half a beat, unsure what exactly to think. On one hand, this is amazing. A pretty girl is expressing interest in me. On the other, I’m not sure I’m up for any getting to know someone again so soon after the entire Aiden thing.
Not wanting to be rash, I settle on.
“Sure, I’ll see you then.”